Weigh in Wednesday. Whatever.

Well I weighed. I'm up 2 lbs, but not very surprised. I didn't have time to measure, but I will later. I'm tired this morning, but in a better mood. Got the boy off to school in his wrist brace and a note for coach to limit him to no contact for now. He has a game next Monday and he's hoping he'll be able to play. We'll see.

So I was reading blogs last night as usual and I was really struck by this one from Chris over at A Deliberate life. In it she talks about recognizing your weaknesses can be a clue to your greatest strengths. If you haven't read it, you should and if you don't follow her, start. It got me thinking about what my weaknesses are and how they relate to my strengths. It is so easy to focus on our weaknesses.

"Think about your biggest weakness.
It no doubt makes your biggest strength possible.
Be appreciative of yourselves and your unique gifts."

I feel like one of my weaknesses is impatience. I don't like waiting. I need things to do. I am always busy and if I'm stuck waiting it makes me nuts. I don't have the luxury of wasting time. But, this does lead to my strength of being able to get things done, stay on top of things. Keeps me focused on my goal. If I'm not, it will just take that much time for it to get here.

Another weakness is that sometimes I don't communicate well with my loved ones. Sometimes I clam up and just want to be left alone. I don't know if it's because I'm an only child or because of what I do, but I just need my space. But, on the bright side, this leads me to be very independent. I don't need someone to be with me to do things. I've gone to lunch by myself, dinner by myself, movies, football games, shopping, running, to the gym. In fact, I enjoy doing things with myself. It refreshes me.

I also have a tendency to have pity parties. Feel sorry for myself. This comes from growing up with a single Mom who worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs, no money AND add to that my being fat. It's easy to play the victim. Feel like life isn't fair. But, this weakness has taught me that life is what you make of it. No one can make you be happy. Happiness comes from inside.

It also gives me empathy for the underdog. I understand what it's like to feel like the world is against you. I know what it's like to be embarrassed and have poor self worth. It helps me relate to my patients and put myself in their shoes.

I also have a problem with confrontations. This comes from a verbally abusive and somewhat crazy father that I saw only rarely. When I did, it was scary at times. There was a lot of yelling and some physical abuse, never of me, but I witnessed him hitting my step-mom and half-siblings. I don't like yelling. I don't like people getting mad at me. This means sometimes I don't stand up for myself like I should.

BUT, it also leads to my strength as a peace maker. Able to build compromises. It has given me the ability to make business deals and with a few other physicians we built and now own part of our own hospital. That was a big accomplishment and I couldn't have done it without those abilities. Especially since the other investors are mainly ego-driven surgeons. (Don't get me started)

And so this has helped me stop focusing on what I'm NOT able to do, but what I can do. I needed that right now in light of what's going on with me. I'm trying to relax and wait to see what happens. I will see the surgeon tomorrow. I'm going for a massage at lunch to try and relax.

I'm pretty stressed out and the old monster "EMOTIONAL EATING" is rearing it's ugly head. Even though I can't really eat any of my usual trigger foods, I am eating too many crackers and drinking sprite too much. I guess it's the old me where If I feel sick, I eat in hopes it makes me feel better. That doesn't mix with my current problems. I just don't feel good all the way around. I'm tired and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and stay in the closet. Avoid the world. Can't do that at work, can I?

All your support is helping and I'm trying to stop dwelling on me so I've been reading all your blogs. Remember, I'm watching you. You promised to kick some diet and exercise butt this week for me and I'm holding you all to it.

Gotta go work now. Physicals to be done. Diseases to conquer. Runny noses to cure. See ya later...