This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Wednesday Weigh-in and Other stuff.

I had planned to write a humorous and inspiring post today, but instead you get this. This will have to do.

Things I'm thinking about today:

1.  Seeing Peyton Manning in the Denver jersey is weird. But he's still awesome. Not that great last night, but he's not a one man band. He does need help. Help us all when he's back to speed.

2.  For the love of all that is holy, get the REAL refs back. Right now. Thanks.

3.  Testosterone does NOT fix everything.  You might be wondering why this would even come up. Well, I listen to a lot of sports radio. Testosterone is all the rage these days. (Haha. Punny, I know!)  Every 30 seconds there's another radio spot about how testosterone declines as you get older and it will "decrease abdominal fat, increase energy, sex drive," blah blah blah....I've had 24 year old men in my office wanting testosterone. There's a reason that this stuff is not allowed as a performance enhancer, people. I've even had women wanting it. UGH........These commercial make it sound like we should just give it to everyone so we'd all be slim and muscular and have energy and great sex lives! We'd also have acne and hair in all the wrong places and RAGE and cholesterol through the roof, but that's another subject.

4.   Why will people go to Wal-Mart and dish out $200 for a basket FULL of CRAP food but refuse to pay me $20 for their copay to get their diabetes under control? Why do they think it's OK to say, "I don't have it. You'll have to bill me". I'm pretty sure they don't say that in the checkout line when they're buying their pop-tarts. Sigh.....

5. Would it be bad for me to super glue my son's locker key to his forehead? 4th week of school and he's already forgotten his key at least once every week. This necessitates ME returning HOME to get said key and drive it BACK through the traffic. Sigh.....

6.  One-arm pushups are hard.  I did them yesterday during my P90X workout. I was quite pleased to do a grand total of TWO each arm, "real ones" and 6 more each side on my knees. My chest hurts today. A lot.

7.  I love, LOVE it when people underestimate me.  So I'm at Costco. Kid is bagging my stuff in my ginormous Sam's bags (I know).  Kid (19-20 year old boy..... my GOD I'm old) says to me "Uh.....I don't think you can lift all that in there."  And so....  I grin.......Um....And I say to him, "Thanks, but I do this all the time. I did 150 push ups the other day, I'm almost a black belt in TKD AND I can bench more weight than you I'll bet." Chuckling, "I'll be fine. Put that stuff in the bag. I'm more worried about the bag holding up than ME being able to lift it." Look on his face...priceless. RESPECT. I may be as old as your Mom or look that way, but I 'aint your Mom.

8. I really love coffee.  That is all.

9. I think people need to remember that we are all just people.  There is an awful lot of discord in the world. It's horrifying. I'm afraid to even let my kids watch the news. Between the election and the world wide rioting it is just plain frightening. I'm starting to thing a zombie apocalypse might be easier to deal with. Let's all just be nice to each other, shall we? If only......

10.  Wednesday Weigh-IN:  I forgot to weigh today. Dumb shit. Actually no, I was dealing with a couple of girls who would NOT stop bickering. OH MY GOSH I thought I was going to LOSE it on 'em. Anyhoo....I did weigh yesterday and as of yesterday I had lost an additional 3 pounds. I also did my measurements for the end of the 1st phase of the P90X. I have lost a total of 5inches and 8 pounds since starting the program 36 days ago. Not too shabby I think. I'm pretty pleased. Especially since it is HARD. Really really hard and I'm not quitting so results makes it worth it.

Alrighty then, that's about all there is to it. I have a bored meeting....I mean...Board Meeting tonight so I'm missing the homecoming pep rally which I suppose is a bummer if you're me, but "yippee" if you're my son because now he gets to "hang" with his friends. Hope you all are doing well. Doing anything new on the exercise of food fronts lately? How do you keep from getting bored?  I'll tell you that this P90X program keeps you guessing!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

What a BUNCH of CRAP!

Some days just don't go as planned. They just don't.  Mine didn't today. Woke up with a terrible migraine. Overslept. Didn't get my workout this morning. Forgot my food and snacks. Emergency at work and ran late so missed TKD class. Ate salad at lunch brought into the office. Grabbed the dressing and ate it, THEN realized it WASN'T my usual low fat light dressing so it's TRIPLE the calories and fat. Crap. There's carrot cake in the break room calling my name and I've told it to kiss off.  With all the chaos I haven't gotten all my water in today. NOW I am just getting done with work and I have to SOMEHOW get dinner, homework for 3 kids, baths for 2 kids AND get a workout in between NOW and 10 pm. AHHH!

When days like these happen you have a choice:You can either roll with it and do your best OR bail out, give up and "start again tomorrow".


Heck, it's Thursday already, right? Might as well enjoy the weekend. You deserve it, don't you? You've worked hard all week. Maybe it was a really hard one. And tomorrow you have who knows WHAT to do. Maybe you have a party, luncheon, meeting? Maybe a big presentation to do? Or maybe you have the day off and just want to "relax"? You don't want to stress out about your diet TODAY after every thing else you've had to deal with. Just worry about it Monday. MONDAY is a much better day to get back on track.

Some days you wake up and everything is clicking. These days are AWESOME. You're a healthy eating, exercising machine. You KILLED it today. You were SOOOO good. Even ate that extra serving of green stuff. AND the water. MAN were you good!  You should totally have just a teeny, tiny bite of that cake in the break room. What's-her-name's birthday was today. Don't want to hurt her feelings. Oh and don't forget....you-know-who MADE it and you KNOW if you don't at least try it she'll never let you forget it. One tiny bite won't hurt and besides you burned 500 calories on the treadmill, right?

Some days SUCK. You don't want to even SEE another piece of lettuce. Ugh.....if you have to eat another salad! Or CHICKEN. Grilled chicken is STILL chicken no matter how you spice it, chop it, or try to hide it under that arugula. And yogurt...STILL yogurt no matter how much fruit or granola you dump in there. And egg WHITES. Who eats that? Who even thought to eat that? And then EVERY DAY??? Why can't you just ONE day have a pancake? Or a MUFFIN? Remember those? Yum.....with the crumbly topping. Sigh....SCREW it. You're allowed a CHEAT day once and a while. Aren't you? If you don't let yourself indulge WON'T you just GIVE up anyway? So what's the point? You'll just keep dreaming about that ice cream sundae they keep showing on that commercial until you have it. Better to just get it out of the way now, then you can get going on the diet.

Oh......What's the POINT? You try and try and TRY  and still don't lose weight. No matter how WELL you eat or exercise, the weight STILL won't come off. It's not FAIR. AND it's genetic. AND it's hormones AND it's just how it is for you. AND it's your medicine. AND it's HARD to exercise. You're just not into it. You've never been a person who liked exercise. SOME people do but you're just not one of the lucky ones, right? Besides it's so much EASIER to workout AFTER you lose a little weight first. If ONLY you could ever lose weight THEN you'd be able to work out THEN you'd be ABLE to follow a diet, maybe then.......

 PLUS you're happy aren't you. I mean you have a great life. PLUS you ENJOY eating. What's WRONG with that anyway? It's not like you do DRUGS or SMOKE or DRINK (a lot anyway). I mean YOU'RE a good person. You VOTE, go to CHURCH, take care of your family and ALL that REALLY matters is what's INSIDE. So who cares how much you weigh anyway. You spend WAY too much time obsessing over your diet and weight. You need to think about things that REALLY matter, right? Right???


I've been there. Thought it all. HEARD it all. I KNOW. It's so easy to let yourself quit.   Seems logical at the time. Loving yourself. Being happy where your at......all that stuff.

Problem is:

It is ALL a BUNCH of CRAP you tell yourself that LET'S you DO to YOURSELF what you KNOW is KILLING YOU.

Bottom line. That's what it boils down to. Sometimes loving yourself and being focused on what really matters means saying NO to YOURSELF. What REALLY matters is living a long healthy life. Seeing your kids grow up. Being able to MOVE and BREATHE and LIVE without pain. Maybe SLEEP well without medicine or a machine. Getting off all that medicine you hate taking everyday. Avoiding a heart attack, a stroke, a surgery, and all the terrible crap that is going to happen if you don't do what you know you MUST. STOP listening to the lies you tell yourself.

Being overweight, obese, unhealthy and inactive is NOT OK. It's NOT.

Love yourself enough. Love your family, your kids, your life enough. FIND SOMETHING you love enough to do it. 

And do IT NOW.

Every. Single. Day.

The good ones, the bad ones, the mediocre ones, the awesome ones, the plain old every day ones.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Surprise! Uh oh! and Spinning!

Last week wrapped up really great. On Thursday I got up and did my P90X in the morning and then got to my TKD class at noon. Work as usual on Thursday. Friday morning I woke up super sore. 5 workouts in 3 days will do that to you I suppose.  I was to have my yoga workout, but knew there was no way my muscles were going to put up with that. Instead I skipped that work out in the morning. I went for a massage and that helped a lot.

After the massage, I ran errands including a trip to Costco. That's a workout by itself!  After that trip it was home to unload. I had a trip to the Dermatologist after that. And what do you know? Surprise!
Uh oh!

 I had a mole she was concerned about.

See this is why we doctors should never treat ourselves. Actually it was a new one on my stomach that I had noticed. My grandmother died at 54 of melanoma. That's really young.  Especially now that I'm 42.  I knew going in that I needed to get my skin checked, but just having another doctor say, "Oh yes, I'm concerned about that one."  And then having her chop it off, has made me a bit......nervous. Now I'm waiting for the pathology results and trying not to worry too much. Melanoma is no joke. Wear your sunscreen and get your skin checked!

Friday afternoon I picked up the girls from school and went to TKD class with them. It was a great class and the girls love when I can make their class.  That night we had Flat out wrap make your own pizzas. I love those. So easy and so tasty with fresh ingredients and healthy, too. Then the girls had a "kids night out" at TKD so hubby and I caught a movie. Son was at his football game with the band. It was an away game so he wasn't home until midnight!

Saturday morning I woke up with fever! AHHHH! Not cool. 99-100 all weekend. Cough, headache, sore throat and SUPER dizzy. Plus my period arrived full force. Double not cool. Hubby and son went to a boy scout hike early in the morning. Son did 12 miles with a 40 pound pack! Yikes!  He was sore when he got home. I had planned p90X and work in the garage with the nicer fall weather, but that was on hold. I didn't work out Saturday or Sunday although I was so dizzy that getting showered and dressed felt like a workout. Monday I dragged myself from bed and to work. I was still dizzy but better. Stupid fluid in the ears!  I had trouble turning my head to drive, but I was careful and made it through my day. With a nap at lunch instead of my workout. Sigh.....

This morning I'm much better, only mildly dizzy, a little cough and no more fever. I'm planning TKD class this evening. I feel guilty about missing my 26 minutes Saturday, Sunday and Monday, but can we count the extra I did Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday? Last week I did 360 minutes in 4 days. I would much rather be able to stick to my training schedule. I'm now behind on my p90x by a few days. That's OK. I cannot afford to be sick and miss work.

I didn't weigh in yet this week. I didn't track this weekend and I ate crackers, toast and soup. Every time I eat carbs I gain. So I'll wait until next week when things are back on track. Today I ate normally and I'm back to tracking as usual.

So I'm recovering from sinus goo, hoping the world will stop spinning soon and waiting on the pathology report from my mole. Praying it's not melanoma as it is definitely in my genetics. My mom has had one also. About my age....gulp.....So think of me and better yet........PROTECT YOUR SKIN and see your doctor!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Weekend Wrap up, holiday style And Weigh in

The long holiday weekend was productive and busy, but with some fun mixed in as well. Friday I got up early and did my P90x. Then got the kids off to school. Ran a bunch of errands and then back home. Spent the rest of the day in the backyard trimming shrubs, cleaning the back porch, windows, weeding and cleaning the furniture in preparation for the BBQ on Monday. I was COVERED in dirt and sweat and nasty by the time I was done. Got the girls home from school and then back to shower and change for the first Friday night lights of the season. Here in Texas it's a big deal. First performance marching for my son and he was nervous. Although he'd been told he was one of the best marchers of the freshman. I tried to reassure him that he has a great advantage with his Taekwondo training over most of the over band students.

They do conditioning everyday for band including running laps, push ups and crunches, etc. Usually they do 50 push ups which he can whip out pretty easily. The first day he was laughing at the kids who couldn't do any of it and were falling out. TKD pays off again! Anyway, we got to the game and it was HOT and humid. Thank you Texas in August, sigh...We stayed through half time to see the show and then left. The first week of school had left the girls tired and super duper cranky by then. Son got done after 11pm and by then even hubby and I were tired and cranky.

Saturday morning I was up and busy. Husband went to a car show early so I used the time to finish the weeding in the back yard I started on Friday. Then I came in, got the girls breakfast and did my P90X workout. After a shower and I was spent, so tired and STARVED. I had a big breakfast as by then it was 11am. After that I did some stuff around the house and later we finally watched the Hatfields&McCoys we'd recorded back in May. (It was good by the way). For dinner we had Mooyah burger. I had the turkey burger, lettuce wrapped and 6 sweet potato fries. Dessert was watermelon. yummy!

Sunday I woke up feeling like CRAP. I don't know if it was all the yard work, but I suspect it was being outside in the pollen for 2 days straight. Ragweed blooming and I paid. Plus my hands were killing me, I was sore. Luckily it was my "rest" day. I slept in a little and then cooked a big breakfast. Ended up lounging around most of Sunday except a trip to Sam's. For dinner I cooked a broiled salmon with a balsamic  glaze which was FABULOUS with a big salad and fresh peas on the side. So yummy. I still got in my 26 minutes of activity because we got in the pool after dinner and I swam a few laps.

Monday we had guests coming in the afternoon. I slept in later than planned. No more sore throat, but still congested. Opted out of the work out for house cleaning instead. Breakfast prepared and prep work for the BBQ. Guests arrived. The menu was burgers and dogs for the kids, a huge salad, fresh grilled corn on the cob and for dessert-grilled pineapple at the request of my middle daughter complete with "cimmanom" of course. It was delicious and we had a bit of watermelon also. I drank one beer (light) and 1/2 a light Mike's lemonade.  I was in the pool from around 3:30-8pm with the kids. Believe me it's not all floating and relaxing with those guys. I did so much splashing and tossing of children that I woke up sore yesterday!

This morning I got up and was ready for the workout by 5am. I didn't sleep well last night. Took my vitamins later than usual and I suspect that was the culprit. Either that of the small glass of iced tea I had at lunch (unsweetened naturally).  I did NOT want to get up, but I knew if I didn't, there's just no time for that hour anywhere else in my day so UP I went. I had the first Core Synergistics workout of the P90X and it was HARD HARD HARD. I couldn't get through it all. I just have to say that it helps to see the super fit and muscle bound people on the video groaning and struggling with the moves. That means that if I can do 3/4 of the stuff for my fat ass self I'm doing pretty damn good. 400 calories later and I was SWEATY and proud and pooped. My arms hurt already from all those push ups and planks and plank running. HARD I tell you.

And now the big news.....

So I was worried that I did not track completely everything for the weekend. I know what I had and how many calories for the most part. I didn't eat over 1500.  Today I'll enter it all in my LoseIt program and see if I'm right on. Problem was I didn't drink enough water on Monday especially being outside in the pool so much. I was concerned I would gain.  I did recieved the new scale which so far I'm pleased about.  I weighed in on Friday when it arrived. Here are the results.

Beginning  of P90X 8/13/12: 224lbs
                                8/31/12: 219lbs

That's 5 pounds in 3 weeks. For me that's a great loss. Anything more than a pound a week and I'm stoked. I am a slow loser. I just am. Fair or not, thyroid problem or not, genetics or not, whatever. I've been absolutely clean with my diet. I weighed yesterday and was up a pound, that's OK, I know it's water and this morning I saw I was down to 218. And now I'm done weighing until next week.

So that's an update on what's happening with me not much except work outs and tracking my food and kids stuff and work and somewhere in there I try to sleep now and then. I love my life. I'm so thankful, exhausted, but thankful. Hope you are all on track. MOVE and I mean it!

Progress to TouchDown and GOALLLL!!