This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween!

Today is a MUCH better day. Physically I feel better, but still a bit wheezy. Mentally I feel much calmer and happier today. Thanks for all your kind comments on the post yesterday. I hate writing that stuff, but I knew it would have to come out. I am strongly against the victim mentality and I have come a long way from there.

Yesterday I finished within the calorie budget for the challenge but I wouldn't say they were quality calories. I didn't get all the water in ,but close. Considering my state of mind I think I did well to avoid a terrible binge. I ate a mini snickers and a mini twix. But considering I came home from Sam's with 5 huge bags of candy, I feel this showed incredible restraint I woke up this morning and I was not even hungry. But, I got some decent sleep and today has been better food wise.

I ate my cheerios for breakfast. Lunch was an egg sandwich with my lite wheat bread. Water, water, water today as I am thirsty from yesterday. I made homemade Chicken and Dumplings for dinner. I wanted something tasty that I could leave on the stove all day. It is our family recipe and it is from scratch. I have calculated the calories so I know how much I can eat on plan.

I have apple cider simmering on the stove for the kids. I don't really care for it so it's not a temptation for me.  The kids also wanted cookies so we bought those Pillsbury pumpkin ones. The girls can put them on the pan and they think it's cool to watch the pumpkin grow. Again I don't like those at all, no temptation for me.

My son and I watched scary movies this morning. He had never seen The Lost Boys and so we watched it together. I LOVE scary movies.  I've been surprised by the scant numbers on the TV today.  We watched The Crazies on cable and it was pretty good.  I suppose the worst horror on my TV today was the Cowboys game. SCARY!

Later we carved pumpkins. The girls hadn't really participated until now.  They were so cute squealing, "Ewwww! It's slimey."   The little one made her's "Happy Pumpkin".  The Big Sissy made her's "A little scary and a little happy."  Son made his " like Jason Holding a Machete."  OK.   We saved the seeds to be roasted later. I've never been a fan, but kids want to try it.

Son is going as a gangster complete with pin striped suit and black fedora, carrying a big Tommy Gun (air soft gun, of course).  Little sis is Sleeping Beauty and wants lots of makeup and glitter. Big sis is Fashion Fairy Tale Barbie. They both have sparkly shoes and are prancing around already.

I love Halloween. It is so much fun to see all the kids. This is the first year to celebrate in our neighborhood. Last year we were in Oklahoma.  Can't wait to walk the neighborhood and see everyone's houses. We will likely head over to our old neighborhood. Halloween is HUGE over there. Everyone dresses up, the houses are decorated and everyone hangs outside with fires and it is a lot of fun.

Hope all of you are enjoying your day. Making memories for my kids is the best part of any holiday! Enjoy!


  1. Glad you are feeling better. And smart to make cookies that don't tempt you -- I should remember that strategy more throughout the holidays. Sorting through old emotional stuff is never easy, but usually worth the effort. Hope you have a great week.

  2. its my favorite time too I love watching the kids I just turned my lights off.. we ran out of candy YAY!.. tons of kids.. tonight and about 30 last night.. great weekend indeed...
    So glad u are feeling better..

  3. I think that telling your story and dealing with the nuts of bolts of Doc is essential. It is a step along the path. Telling your story is just another cobble stone on the way.

  4. Sounds like a perfect day! Well done on the candy-resistance!

  5. What a beautiful day with your family!

  6. What a great day! We had a good one here as well -- the boys were Darth Vader (the Elder) and General Gre...vious? I guess?

    Anyway, it was a total Star Wars fest.

  7. love your point about making memories for the kids.


    so many of my clients were (rightfully) so focused on making it through for themselves that their children almost fell by the wayside.

    Id never thought of that before this morning.


  8. Your halloween sounded fantastic! I'm glad that you had such a good day! :-)

  9. Hello,
    I am catching up on blog reading now that I am back from fall break. So this comment will cover the past few posts that you have done. Your last couple of posts are intriguing to me. I will weigh in:

    1. The father: our circumstances are different, but the father as jerk, are not. The dehumanizing things that were said and the mental and or physical abuse inactivated are parallel in our backgrounds. It took me a long while to get to the point where I am now, so I know that you can, too. I can not forget, nor get over some of the things that were done or said to me. They also are part of what made me who I am. A fight. Resilient. A protector. I suspect the same is true for you. It took me years to process and get to the point that I understood that I was indeed the adult, smart and reasonable and he was not. I was eventually able to accept him the way he was and know that I could not change him, nor would I get what I wanted: a father. I never loved my dad, but I always loved the fact that he gave me life. And my life has been fantastic. I will always be grateful. That is why I could care for him (and laugh at so many of the stupid things he did with my family) when he was in hospice and dying. His passing brought out many of the old wounds so it was hard mostly knowing that I would never have a father. But, I realized that I have something better. I have me. I really like who I am. Equally important, I found my soul mate (my hubby) and am deeply loved. That love is what has made my life sweet. You have it, too, I believe, a hubby who is your soul mate. Enjoy what life has given to you and focus less on what was taken away.
    2. Mental health: My mom was bipolar: so I know about depression. I hope you see someone for this and do not self medicate.
    3. You opened yourself up to us through your recent posts. For you I am guessing this was therapeutic and healing. Have you ever thought about talking with someone professionally about some of the things you wrote about?
    4. Patience. Patience. It is hard to find the patience to wait for our health to return. But, it will. You know it will. Keep your attitude on the Dr. Fit, vs. the Dr. Fat.

    BTW: Love your new pictures. It is plainly obvious that you are more fit!

    BTW2: My nightmare matches yours: Vikings......
    Your blogging friend, Michele

  10. Sounds like you had a great Halloween!


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