So today is another day. I am pooped. My back is killing me, I don't know what I've done. I do know it's time to get back to the exercise. My foot has finally healed from the blister and insuing infection. Now I have a small spot on one of my incisions that is infected. My asthma is terrible and I am thinking I'm going to have to bite the bullet and take some steroids which I HATE. But, if I don't get this cleared up, I know I'm looking at a few more weeks of asthma and that will impede my exercise. I've got the dang 5K in a few weeks and I haven't done jack to be ready, no fault of mine, yet I still feel the guilt.
I woke up this am puffy and up a pound. WTH? I am eating right and following all the rules of the challenge. I'm wondering what's up. Maybe too much sodium? Maybe hormones? Maybe too many carbs?
Here's my food from yesterday. I had 96ounces of water, maybe more.
Breakfast: 1/2 piece pumpkin bread, apple, orange=309 cal
Lunch: Cantaloupe and Honey Dew, weight watchers mini veggie pizza=332cal
Snack: Low fat sugar free frozen yogurt=230cal
Dinner: Sweet potato risotto, 1/2 cup corn, 1cup green beans, salad=400cal
I don't feel like I was off base with my eating, but you can see that I had more carbs than usual yesterday as I usual average 50% of my cals from healthy carbs and my sodium was up a little. Anyway, I'm going to keep on because....well the other choice is to stop and go crazy and THAT's not a real option.
Today was pajama day at my middle girl's school. She looked so cute in her pink polka dot jammies and fluffy pink slippers. My younger one doesn't go to public school yet so Red Ribbon week is not part of their thing. She said, "I want to wear jammies too" I said, "Fine. But, you'll probably be the only one." She says, "Then I'll be stupid." No sweety, you'll be comfortable. But in the end peer pressure won and she wore her cute little orange skirt with Halloween shirt. I appeased her by pointing out that tomorrow SHE gets to wear her costume to school, but sister won't get to because they don't allow costumes at her school. Peace again.
What struck me was how early that peer pressure kicks in. I mean, it's pre K and she's 4. Good grief. I was a little saddened, but I realize we are built to be social and part of that is fitting in. I wondered then how old I was when I really realized how different I was with my weight issues. I know it was an issue by 2nd grade for sure. Then I went to a bigger school and I was definitely teased at times by then. No wonder my self image was so warped by high school. No wonder I felt so lonely. By then it was 7 long years of ridicule. No wonder I'm having such a hard time changing my view of myself after 33 years or so of feeling fat and getting made fun of.
I'm really trying not to worry about the girls or influence their body images in any way other than positive. They don't talk about anything yet except, "Look how BIG I'm getting, Mommy!" I admit that I look at them and hope and pray they stay a normal weight. Right now they are both actually a little small. So was their brother until he hit about 8, then he got a bit pudgy. Now he's learning to eat healthier and his weight is closer to normal, although he is a tad overweight. I am so conscious of their eating, but I have to not make them crazy about food either. It is a tight rope that is frankly making me nuts in a lot of ways. But, last night my son wanted to drive thru on the way home because he said he was starving and I said no because there is plenty of healthy food at home. And sure enough, Nanny had cooked and we had a great meal.
As parents I think we are desperate for our kids to be happy and healthy. We worry so much about their social life, who their friends are and how their grades are. We have to be careful not to show that worry or the kids begin to feel the same way. Report cards come out on Friday and I hope that Son has gotten that English grade up. He had a C and his Dad will crap a load. Supposedly he got it up to high B. I've been too afraid to get online and check. Too late to change it now. Football will be ending and our time should be freer by then, at least a little.
Today I got dressed in my new XL Tshirt. I grabbed my denim scrub pants. I didn't realize how HUGE they were as I was rushing around this morning. But once I got to work and took a look at my legs. OMG, they are a 2X and they are literally big enough I can almost fit both legs in 1 side. I feel pretty silly and I'll get these in the give away pile ASAP. I have a charity coming on Tuesday next week.
Rangers game last night was weird and an anomaly in so many ways. I still feel good that our team will pull through. I re-read my post and realized I said I bought an NLCS shirt, which of course is WRONG since we play in the AL. That's what happens when you listen to ESPN while trying to type.
Sorry for those of you who aren't into sports. I can't help it. It's really a big part of my life. I also think that watching sports and seeing these athletes keeps exercise in my brain. It makes me think, "I want to do THAT!" Which of course I can't do most of what I see, but it challenges me. It inspires me. These guys and ladies are amazing with the things they can do.
Hope you all have a great day! What things do you use in your everyday life to inspire you? How do you handle your kids body image issues and how to you keep from projecting your issues onto them?