This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thursday. DDD Challenge and Rangers...

So today is another day. I am pooped. My back is killing me, I don't know what I've done. I do know it's time to get back to the exercise. My foot has finally healed from the blister and insuing infection. Now I have a small spot on one of my incisions that is infected. My asthma is terrible and I am thinking I'm going to have to bite the bullet and take some steroids which I HATE. But, if I don't get this cleared up, I know I'm looking at a few more weeks of asthma and that will impede my exercise. I've got the dang 5K in a few weeks and I haven't done jack to be ready, no fault of mine, yet I still feel the guilt.

I woke up this am puffy and up a pound. WTH? I am eating right and following all the rules of the challenge. I'm wondering what's up. Maybe too much sodium? Maybe hormones? Maybe too many carbs?

Here's my food from yesterday.  I had 96ounces of water, maybe more.
Breakfast: 1/2 piece pumpkin bread, apple, orange=309 cal
Lunch:  Cantaloupe and Honey Dew, weight watchers mini veggie pizza=332cal
Snack: Low fat sugar free frozen yogurt=230cal
Dinner: Sweet potato risotto, 1/2 cup corn, 1cup green beans, salad=400cal
Total=1271 cal

I don't feel like I was off base with my eating, but you can see that I had more carbs than usual yesterday as I usual average 50% of my cals from healthy carbs and my sodium was up a little. Anyway, I'm going to keep on because....well the other choice is to stop and go crazy and THAT's not a real option.

Today was pajama day at my middle girl's school. She looked so cute in her pink polka dot jammies and fluffy pink slippers. My younger one doesn't go to public school yet so Red Ribbon week is not part of their thing. She said, "I want to wear jammies too"  I said, "Fine. But, you'll probably be the only one." She says, "Then I'll be stupid." No sweety, you'll be comfortable.  But in the end peer pressure won and she wore her cute little orange skirt with Halloween shirt. I appeased her by pointing out that tomorrow SHE gets to wear her costume to school, but sister won't get to because they don't allow costumes at her school. Peace again.

What struck me was how early that peer pressure kicks in. I mean, it's pre K and she's 4. Good grief. I was a little saddened, but I realize we are built to be social and part of that is fitting in.  I wondered then how old I was when I really realized how different I was with my weight issues. I know it was an issue by 2nd grade for sure.  Then I went to a bigger school and I was definitely teased at times by then. No wonder my self image was so warped by high school. No wonder I felt so lonely. By then it was 7 long years of ridicule. No wonder I'm having such a hard time changing my view of myself after 33 years or so of feeling fat and getting made fun of.

I'm really trying not to worry about the girls or influence their body images in any way other than positive. They don't talk about anything yet except, "Look how BIG I'm getting, Mommy!"  I admit that I look at them and hope and pray they stay a normal weight. Right now they are both actually a little small. So was their brother until he hit about 8, then he got a bit pudgy. Now he's learning to eat healthier and his weight is closer to normal, although he is a tad overweight.  I am so conscious of their eating, but I have to not make them crazy about food either. It is a tight rope that is frankly making me nuts in a lot of ways. But, last night my son wanted to drive thru on the way home because he said he was starving and I said no because there is plenty of healthy food at home. And sure enough, Nanny had cooked and we had a great meal.

As parents I think we are desperate for our kids to be happy and healthy. We worry so much about their social life, who their friends are and how their grades are. We have to be careful not to show that worry or the kids begin to feel the same way. Report cards come out on Friday and I hope that Son has gotten that English grade up. He had a C and his Dad will crap a load. Supposedly he got it up to high B. I've been too afraid to get online and check.  Too late to change it now. Football will be ending and our time should be freer by then, at least a little.

Today I got dressed in my new XL Tshirt. I grabbed my denim scrub pants. I didn't realize how HUGE they were as I was rushing around this morning. But once I got to work and took a look at my legs. OMG, they are a 2X and they are literally big enough I can almost fit both legs in 1 side. I feel pretty silly and I'll get these in the give away pile ASAP.  I have a charity coming on Tuesday next week.

Rangers game last night was weird and an anomaly in so many ways. I still feel good that our team will pull through. I re-read my post and realized I said I bought an NLCS shirt, which of course is WRONG since we play in the AL. That's what happens when you listen to ESPN while trying to type.

Here's a pic of the shirt:

Sorry for those of you who aren't into sports. I can't help it. It's really a big part of my life. I also think that watching sports and seeing these athletes keeps exercise in my brain. It makes me think, "I want to do THAT!" Which of course I can't do most of what I see, but it challenges me. It inspires me. These guys and ladies are amazing with the things they can do.

Hope you all have a great day!  What things do you use in your everyday life to inspire you?  How do you handle your kids body image issues and how to you keep from projecting your issues onto them?


  1. Sorry to hear about the asthma and the sore back and the small infected spot. Three things at once! Maybe you just needed a trifecta to finally put an end to the injuries/healing process. Hope these are your last physical inconveniences for awhile. Am sure the puffiness and the pound will both disappear in a puff of Halloween smoke -- just momentary reactions, that's all. Good luck Doc!

  2. Kids and Body Issues - lord love a duck, I could write a tome on this subject.

    I have four teens, and I struggle DAILY with not instilling self-hatred in their brains, and with getting them to make healthy food choices, especially my daughters. Why? Because I know that I have perception issues with my own self, and it's a miserable mind game that I don't wish on my kids.

    Am I doing the right thing? Don't have a clue. We won't know until they are all adults and living somewhere else other than here, in a place where they are responsible for their own health. Until then, I just keep repeating repeating repeating everthing I know about healthy food, and demonstrating exercise and self control. I keep junk food out of our house, and won't pay for fast food.

    And I pray a lot.

  3. I get inspired seeing my little grandchildren run and play with such energy. All five are quite slender. Baby J just graduated (up) to the 10 percentile for weight. He's 70th percentile for height.

    My children are pretty normal weights. Son John (Baby J's dad) is quite slender and tall. He was a nationally ranked runner in HS & college and has that tall lean runner's body. Daughter Laura is petite and has been able to keep within 15 or 20 pounds of her ideal weight (unlike her mom at 3 children and 35 years!). She has just reached that ideal weight again after "watching it" for a couple of months. Son Jay (with Down Syndrome) is quite short and has a "stocky" build, but he has never weighed more than 130. We were very intentional in teaching them about good eating habits and the need for exercise.

  4. Hope the asthma and other issues abate soon.

    Our teens are a riot to watch grow through the pressures of image and acceptance. Still, I believe we had it allot worse, by that I mean those of us who were teens in the 70/80s. I seem to recall allot more effort put into building and maintaining an image. Then again, maybe my kids just are less conscious of image than others and I am missing the boat.

    Go Rangers!

  5. I love the pic! Its great. Maybe you had too much sugar? Does the bread have sugar in it? Lots of fruit..... Idk maybe you just need more water or some more movement if possible. Looks like you are eating awesome.

  6. My munches are both skinny like you wouldn't believe. When Pumpkin started using the potty I was astonded at how tiny her little tush is. Without the diaper its like concave! They are my little spider monkeys; wiry, climbing, noisy little monkeys.

  7. Kids and body issues... yeeouch. It's a toughie. Both my guys (thank goodness for boys) are normal weights for their ages, although the Elder has a tiny bit of a tummy on him. However, he likes to run on my treadmill and work out on the elliptical so I'm figuring he's just bulking up a bit before he stretches out again, height-wise.

    The younger is a perpetual motion machine. I'll worry about him when he stands still long enough for me to view him at less than a blur.

    Having said that, I do have some concern that my weight issues affect the boys. They see me counting calories on everything, choosing to avoid the bread one night, eating a mini Snickers* the next, and I'm sure they think "huh?"

    *note: 45 calories, and fit into the day's calories. Still, the disconnect for the kids is there. Urrrgh.

  8. You know as well as I do that fixing the weight problem in your life AND living a healthy example is the best thing that you can do for your kids. (ok, maybe not the best thing...but in terms of their health and healthy weights!)

    I too try to keep my carb intake low...so difficult though!

  9. Thanks for this excellent post. Your commentary on being an overweight child struck a chord with me. I can still remember the comments from others, including family members, about my "sturdy, chubby body." Those comments still have the ability to cut like a knife, even after all these years. You're doing good things with your kids, Dr. F.

  10. I can relate to your post on many levels.

    With my kids I favored obsessing over my daughter more than my so and put her in gymnastics at age six. She did that for about five years (she's now 13) and then it wasn't fun anymore so now she doesn't do anything but she doesn't have an issue with food. She doesn't eat when bored and she listens to what her body is telling her. My son, aged 16, had a more difficult time after age 10, he was also teased in school and that made him have issues, but then in high school he did one year of water polo and that helped him drop 30 lbs along with puberty. So I worry but then again I also think I've taught them to have a better relationship with food than I was taught or learned.


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