This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Wednesday Weigh In. Getting back on Track.

Today I woke up and feel nearly normal. I can't tell you what a relief that is. Of course, being here at work and being on my feet, carrying around my laptop and my belly and back are achy again. What feels best is my attitude. I feel like it's getting back to normal. I realized last night that it's time to stop eating like I'm a sick person. I'm feeling better and I've got to begin moving on.

Yesterday my eating was great. I had cheerios for breakfast and coffee, of course. I had a great lunch. I ate peaches, 1/2 cup green peas, a few canned pears and a cup of light progresso Chicken and Dumpling soup. It was 400 calories which is more than I generally eat at lunch, but I was hungry for some fruit.  I had a couple of plums on my way to my son's football game. Then for dinner I had 3oz of pork chop, grilled and green beans and 1/2 cup of risotto my Nanny made for me.  She still is trying to feed me well. It's an Italian thing.  The day was done at 1175 calories. I'm still getting used to getting all my water back in. I drank at least 64oz and today I'll do more.

As I lay in bed last night with my stomach rolling from it's first meat in quite a while, I wanted the security of my gold fish crackers. I wasn't hungry, but my tummy was rumbly and I'd gotten in the habit of munching crackers when my tummy felt bad. But, that was before I could eat real food. I told my brain, NO more. And that was it. I laid there and watched Caprica and then to sleep for me. I slept well despite weird dreams and my belly hurting through the night. I still have pain when I lay a certain way from the surgery.

I woke up this morning and weighed in. I wasn't going to and then the bitch in my brain said, "Weigh or Don't weigh. Doesn't change how much you weigh, does it? Gotta start again sometime and get back on your schedule." OK then. How true. Whether or not I weigh and see the scale, I weigh what I weigh. Accept it and do something about it. So, I did. I weighed 212.4. Down a pound. Still up 3# from my lowest pre-surgery weight.  I was soooo excited when I saw those 2 Ohs, this is still a little depressing. But, alas. I can do nothing but move forward and I'm determined to see those numbers again soon. Whining about how I gained will not burn the calories I need to see them again, now will they?

For the first time I feel like I'm ready to exercise. I might just go home and try a ride on the stationary. It's my go to when I don't feel great. And now that I've said I would to all of you, I must. Accountability people. It's what we're here for.

I wanted to mention a couple of bloggers. Maybe you know them, but if not check them out. First, Tami, over at Nutmeg Notebook. She is so supportive and has the best recipes over there. She takes great pics and is enjoyable to read.  I spend most of my time jealous of her cooking, but at least I know if I have time to cook, I'll have a tasty and healthy recipe to do it with.

Next, I read a great post on helping your kids learn to eat healthy by Lanie over at Healthy Schmealthy today. It is such an important topic for anyone who has kids or is around them or plans to have them. It is up to all of us to make sure that our kids don't end up sharing our struggles with weight and health.  I watched only a few minutes of Biggest Loser last night which I don't usually watch.  Bob was talking to one of the contestants. A single mom of 2 who said she can order a $5 pizza and it feeds all 3 of them. He said he understood how hard it was but that, "Your kids are worth more than a $5 pizza."  How true and important for each of us to remember.

And finally, MaryFran at A New Start: Losing weight posted about gaining back a lot of weight and hating herself for it.  We've all been there. We all know it's more about the mental challenge of this process than the physical. Go on over and lend some support today. One day at a time is all we have people.

Now that I can check:" post on blog" off my TO DO, I'm off to finish other work. Have a great day everyone!


  1. Back to exercising...losing weight...living the dream, right?

  2. Yay for normal:) I find Tami very inspiring. And I read Lanie's post earlier and thought it was great. I am two weeks behind on BL so missed that quote but I saw people tweeting that last night and had no idea why. Glad to have the mystery cleared up. I am going to check out MaryFran's blog right now...

  3. At least you have not lost your sense of taste in food.. Keep up the great work..

  4. Sounds like you had a good day on your eating.. Congrats on the loss and thanks for you comments on my blog.

  5. Thanks for the mention. I'll go check out your other suggestions later today!

    I'm glad to hear that you're starting to feel a little better. You'll blow through those 3 lbs like nobody's business now that you're back in the game! Cheering you onward!

  6. Not long now until your weight reaches a new low. Welcome back to normal!

  7. Happy to hear that you fought back the emotional urge to eat the gold fish! Bravo!

    Thanks for the shout out about my blog. I really appreciate the feed back and the sweet comments you leave me!

    I will check out the other blogs you mentioned as they are new ones to me.

    Happy Healing!

  8. Nothing wrong with eating more fruit than normal...what a good craving to have! And I like how you are getting off the "sick eating" and back into the normal way - it's such an easy trap to stay in, so less than a week post-op and to be out of that is fantastic!

  9. What you've been through is quite an ordeal, and it takes time to get back on track. But getting on that scale for the first time in a while, although difficult, can feel like a new start. I think you've done very well, and I also think you're baaack! I had better step up the Hot 100 Challenge.

  10. Welcome back!

    You're totally right about the Nutmeg Notebook, the recipes look delicious!

  11. Just catching up and glad you are starting to feel better after surgery - it will take a while to feel 100% I expect!

    I know Tami, but love the new link love! :D

  12. Glad you're back at work and headed back to wellness.

    Put the goldfish down, Doc. Turn around and walk away.

  13. Good to hear you're feeling better and have the mindset to get back to it. Great job on the food yesterday!

  14. Nearly normal is pretty darn good after what you have been up to (or down to). So, that is great news.

    I just wanted, too, to comment on your genuine post. I especially like this: Live your life to be genuine.

    As I have continued on my journey to regain my health, I am more cognizant of how fearful I was of some things and how I lived in the shadow of my obesity or how i allowed my obesity to define a shadowed life. A big part of this whole journey for me is uncovering the person that was always there in the first place, just in the shadow. Once I stepped out of denial, there was light. For me that is as genuine as my life can be. In the light. Ready for anything. I am worth it. I LOVE me!

    Thanks so much for your commitment to your blog and prolific blogging.

  15. Glad to hear you're up and about now. Congratulations for conquering the battle of Dr. vs Goldfish. It's winning the little battles (that feel so huge at the time) that will get us where we're going.

  16. Great to see that you are feeling better. You will be back on track in no time!

    - The Heavy Man

  17. Glad you're feeling better!

    And I love your perspective on the scale - no reason to be scared of it!


Progress to TouchDown and GOALLLL!!