There's a lot I've learned in life. As a physician, I see a side of people that very few see. People tell me things. I've learned a lot about people in general in my job. I can read people. It's a gift and a curse. I was watching that show, "Lie to Me" last night. I found it entertaining. There is truth to it. There are things I was taught in medical school by a very wise psychiatrist about non-verbal behaviors. And there are more things I've learned over the last 14 years of my career.
One of the most important things I've learned is to surround yourself with only genuine people. I don't mean only the nicest. I don't mean only the most caring, although those traits are nice. But, with genuine people you get what they say you get. They are what they are. Sometimes that means they are nice and caring. Sometimes it means they are tough and selfish. But, you always know what you'll get with them. They don't play games. They don't pretend one thing and turn around and do another.
These sorts of genuine people are rare. Unfortunately, most of us learn to play games at an early age. We learn to lie and pretend. Say one thing, do another. Say one thing while thinking another. Not that there aren't times when a "little white lie" isn't acceptable. Like when I tell my daughter the messy painting is beautiful and I can TOTALLY tell that big brown smudge is the tree. Genuine people tell you the truth. Genuine people who tell you the truth and care about you are rare gems. When you find them, don't let them go.
I've lost friends I thought were genuine. Maybe they thought the same from me. I don't have a lot of close friends that I trust with all of me. I think that is just smart. As a fat girl who never felt liked, I tried hard, sometimes too hard to be liked. I cooked. I cleaned. I volunteered. I loaned money. I laughed at jokes I didn't get. I was the brunt of a lot of jokes I did get and didn't like.
But now. Things are different. I've discovered me. Genuine me. I like me. I'm smart. I'm caring. I'm talented. I'm powerful. I'm liked. I'm disliked. I'm jealous. People are jealous of me. I don't have everything, but I have everything important.
I don't miss those people I've lost. I appreciate what they were for me at the time. We served a purpose for each other on this journey of life. And now, I've moved on. I doubt they miss me either. Once you have kids, everything else seems silly. The purpose of your life is to teach these little people how to be genuine. And how do you do that?
By being genuine.
And it's OK to leave things or people behind that are keeping you from being your genuine self. It's OK, in fact it is absolutely necessary that you make mistakes. The genuine you is not the perfect idea of you in your head. It's the real you. The only one that really matters.
There is a difference between being selfish and being genuine. Being selfish means doing what you want whether it is genuine or not. Being genuine means sometimes you have to be self-less. Sometimes selfish.
Live your life to be genuine. Whatever that is for you. Only you can answer that question. Only you can discover that truth. There is no book or person or job or goal weight or thing that can fulfill your destiny of being genuine. You can do whatever you dream. Just make sure your dream is genuine and puts you closer to the genuine you. You, my friend, are enough for you.
Have you realized it yet?