This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wednesday Weigh In. And Coming out of the Closet

Woke up this morning and MAN do my arms hurt. Ouch. See yesterday's post for why if you haven't read it. But, in short: I DID CHIN UPS! I had planned to get up and do C25K Week 7 day 1 today. I didn't want to at first, then I realized that making a commitment to myself is just as important, no MORE important, than any of the other tons of things I needed to get done. So upstairs I went to the treadmill.

Thanks to my friend Shelley and her helpful review of sports bras, I donned my new Moving Comfort Maia. I know you guys don't get this, but it's really hard to find something comfortable and functional. She didn't miss the mark on that review because it is by far the best one I've ever had. I'll be ordering a few more and tossing the others. Thanks, Shelley!

I completed my workout, which was basically 5 min walk, 25 min run, 5 min walk and then kept on walking. I did a total of 1 hour, 2.6 miles, then stretches. Then came the moment of truth. I got tickled at Christine's post today talking about people who only weigh once a week and have that kind of restraint. I'm not one of those. I weigh too often, but I only count my official once a week weight on Wednesdays.

So without further adieu, the results: 214.6

That's a loss of 3 pounds and brings my total loss to 35.4 pounds. I honestly couldn't believe it. I got off and back on the scale multiple times,but it was the same every time. Then I took my measurements. I've lost a total of 24.25 inches overall since June 10th. Perhaps this is why I nearly lost my workout shorts in the gym yesterday when I stood up from my sit ups?

I am ecstatic. I am proud. I am in shock. I am tentative. I am in awe of myself. I am worried it's a dream and I'll wake up to find it's not true. I am determined to keep going. I've never lost this much weight before at one time. Not ever. I am 3.6 pounds from my first goal of 212 pounds. My lowest weight in the last 11 years. My LoseIt program says I'll reach that goal by August 28th. That's like 10 days. UN. Real.

It also says I can reach my next goal of 199 pounds by October 12th. Holy shit. I'm really doing this thing. I haven't been under 200 pounds since my freshman year of college and that was only for a few months. I was a size 14. I thought I was fat.

I hope you understand when I say I'm in shock. I hope you understand when I say I'm afraid. I've tried so many times. So. Many. Times. I've lost the same 20 pounds probably 50 times in my 40 years. No joke. And while I feel in my soul this time is different, I still battle the self doubt. Don't get me wrong, I'm winning. I'm kicking it's ass! But, it's there. Thus the constant weighing and weighing 10 times in a row.

I share this so you know. If you're new to this very real and permanent change, and if you feel like this, you can beat it just like me. Don't be me my last 20 diets. Don't get 3 weeks in and quit because of 1 candy bar or 1 cookie or 20 cookies for that matter. Keep going. It's worth it. Wow. What my weight loss rock star idols must feel like losing 100, 150, 200, 272 pounds. You know who you are. I just have a teensy winsy glimpse of it. I like it. Smile.

So I came out of the closet last night to my hubbie. NOT THAT CLOSET! The one where I was keeping my blog. I just felt funny blogging and reading all these blogs without him knowing. He'd ask what I was doing and I'd say, "Oh just reading those weight loss blogs I told you about." Now he knows I have one also. I showed it to him. I showed him I had 47 (now 50! Thank you!!) Followers. I told him about my favorite commenters and why I liked each one. He said my blog was cool and that he thought I'd done a good job setting it up. I told him he didn't have to read it, but could if he wanted to. I told him I hadn't told anyone else but him. He made me feel proud about it and a little silly for not telling him sooner. What was I worried about?

And now....I'll wrap up with a sports rant. My non-sports geek fanatic readers might want to stop here. I warned you a few posts ago that football would sneak it's way in here. FOOTBALL IS HERE!!! OMG I love that game. I soooo wish I'd been a boy and could've played. One of my dreams is to be fit enough to join an adult flag league some day. I am so so so so happy to have my football back. Can't wait for my team's first game, Labor day Weekend. THE SOONERS! Boomer! I love the excitement in the stadium. I love being with other fans. I love kicking the other team's butt. I love losing and look forward to trying again next game. Well.....ok I HATE losing. BUT I LOVE THAT GAME!

These guys, these athletes are amazing. I can only dream of doing a 1/3 of what they can do. Hainesworth's fitness test he kept failing...I wish I could fail like he did. I watch ESPN when I workout all the time. It motivates me. These guys are naturally talented, but if you think for 1 minute that they don't WORK hard you haven't payed attention. I use this as motivation in my own workouts.

Favre is 40 and gonna do his 20th season. Rock on brother! Whether you love him or hate him, gotta respect that ability. At 40 I'd give anything to experience that for just one day. Get off his back, you're just jealous. If he doesn't want to go to camp, I get it. Twenty years of abusing his body and he earns skipping camp. He wants to save what he has left for the game he loves, REALLY loves. You cannot blame him for that.

OK, done now. Are there people in your life you use as motivation to push yourself harder? How has the scale been treating you lately? Are you getting where you want to be or falling short? Are you kicking self doubt's ass today?


  1. Woo Hoo! Wonderful WI news. Good for you. I'm happy dancin' for you. Yes, you can do it. You're doing it now and it's happening. Those chin ups and the 25 minute runs on the C25K and suffering through the TX heat are paying off. Don't doubt yourself. You're amazing. You can do it!

  2. I have got to order one of those sports bras!!
    Chin ups oh my goodness you are my hero :)

  3. Okay Dr. F. I know you're out there in cyberland and you can't see me sitting here at my desk at work, surrounded by scientific dictionaries and snack foods and papers. But I'M SITTING HERE DOING A FREAKING HAPPY DANCE IN MY CHAIR FOR YOU! Not one. Not two. THREE pounds!! For a total weight loss of 35 pounds! Dude, that's amazing and you are rocking this out! I hope you're reading this with a big freaking grin on your face.

    Congrats on telling your hubby! It's hard to work up the courage to tell people in your personal life, huh? I totally get that. I'm glad that he made you feel proud of this blog, because you should feel proud.

    I love football too! But you're a (damn) texan -- so don't tell me that you're a Cowboys fan? UGH. I'm a Steelers fan, myself! :-) I love me some Brett Favre (break me off a piece of that yumminess) but his whole "I'm retiring/No I'm not" is REALLY old. I'm really done with that.

    For your questions: My hubby and my friend Pete motivate me to work out and stay on track! The scale has been good -- I've lost 88 pounds so far! I'm TOTALLY getting to where I want to be. Only 12 little pounds until I reach my goal weight! I'm already the thinnest I've ever been in my entire life, so at this point, every single pound is a new milestone for me. I love it! And I'll tell you what -- you just feel better and better (emotionally and physically) the more you lose.

  4. They make these fitness bras by Precor that have the heart monitors in them that broadcast to the watch showing your vitals. Wife swears by it for her workouts..

  5. Well, congrats! You are obviously on the right track and your body is responding very well. Just keep doing what you're doing. I believe you will see 199 right on schedule.

    Glad you're out of the closet. I'll miss you in here.

  6. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME on the three pounds!!!!! Love your disbelief, but my gosh, you are KILLING it with your workouts and running so of course you are going to be losing weight (and your shorts, lol!) like crazy!!! Congratulations - I am so happy for and proud of you!!!

    And, I'm glad you like the Maia - that sucker works, doesn't it?!?

  7. Congratulations! I recently discovered your blog and find it very informative and inspirational. I'm on day 1 (yes, that's right - ugh!) of a renewed effort. The kids went back to school today and I'm making time to focus on me now. I look forward to checking in with you to see how you're doing!

  8. Good for you! I feel it is different this time for me too. I am bound and determined to put my yo-yo years behind me.

  9. Lady - you are Kicking Ass!! This time is different for you, I can tell. You are doing all the same things I am, and better and it's worked for me. I've lost over 70 lbs and I still wake up every morning and grab myself and make sure I'm not 240+ lbs, so I can totally relate to your shock and awe :o) I think it takes a long time for the brain to catch up with your body image, especially if you've been heavy for a long time (or pretty much your whole life like me). Oh and for motivation I sometimes ask my husband or daughter to yell at me and tell me to go to the track... and they do lol.

  10. Can I get a BOOYAAAAH BABY!! Doc I am seriously busting with pride right now. I love hearing that!!! I wish I was right down there with ya, but I am coming on strong, just not as strong as you apparently!

  11. WooHoo! I am still very new to your blog, but I am so happy for you. Keep up the good work!

  12. Now 52. Way to go on the weight loss. What an inspiration. I so feel for you as a doctor you're kind of like Oprah. Always in the lime light. What a fantastic example you are setting for your patients -- but most of all for you. So happy for you.

  13. Good work, doc. I am SO proud of you. And the bra information could not have come at a better time. I just asked one of my large-busted runner friends yesterday and she said she gets her bras at target. I'm betting they are less expensive, but hmm. . .could they possibly work? I'm going to have to go watch her run! I haven't noticed her having black eyes though.

  14. That's just great progress. I am so happy for you...on your way to better things! You're going to be below college freshman weight. Whoa! I need four pounds just to reach my driver's license weight!

    I wondered how you blogged without your husband knowing. I think it's a good thing you're "out".

    You may be the top sports fan who visits my site. Aren't many out here on the WL blogs. I am thankful!

  15. BTW I totally bought one of those bras online yesterday because you said you liked it.

  16. First, I am a Vikings!! Season ticket holder. I do not like all the drama over Brett F- BUT I Love the fact that he, his antics and his athleticism will be here in MN for one last season. OMG!! I can hardly wait for that game when we are down by 6 and 37 seconds to go and he throws one and TD!!!

    (Can you feel my crazy, maniac enthusiasm??)

    Second, I was also a closet dweller for a while about my blog. Sharing it with my spouse and my family was one of the most empowering things I did. Blogging is empowering (http://ruminationsasiuncoverthewomanwithin.blogspot.com/2010/08/blogging-is-empowering.html).

    I do not know how you do it and how you make the time, but your own commitment to blogging and sharing your wisdom and wise cracks are something I look forward to every day. Thank- you so very much for your efforts and the support you cast to all of us, including me. Michele


Progress to TouchDown and GOALLLL!!