This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Follow up to Yesterday's Rant

Overall the rant from yesterday was well received. If you haven't read it, please do. I feel I need to clarify a few things. First, I don't hate those shaper shoes. Some people use them and like them and feel like they help. But, wearing them to work isn't exercise. It's not. People need to understand that. And, they can hurt people especially older people with poor balance.

Second, I was not in any way saying that WLS or lap band is not useful. It is a tool like any of the other tools we can use to lose weight. I have and will recommend WLS to patients when the risks are outweighed by the benefits the surgery might bring. It is a surgery with very real risks. I recommended it just recently for a patient who is diabetic, has high blood pressure and weighs nearly 400 pounds. He had a stroke last year. He has a heart blockage, but he is too big to fit on a cath table so we can't even know for sure where the blockage is or fix it. He is 2 years older than me.

Having lap band is a personal choice. I don't feel the risks outweigh the benefits in my case at this point. Being a doctor, I know all the bad stuff. I've seen it and sometimes that's bad. That's my own personal fear. You see, I own my own business. There is no sick leave in my world. Although I have disability insurance and all that, I have 20 employees working for me who do not. Their families depend on me being at work. If I'm not working, we make no money, they don't get paid. If I were to have the surgery and god forbid end up in ICU for 3 weeks as I have seen happen more than once, it would be devastating financially to me and to them.

I don't have diabetes, heart problems or high blood pressure. I'm lucky because I'm just fat. So at this point, surgery isn't worth it to me. But that's me and everybody has to make their own choices in this area.

My point about all of us as bloggers was only to remind us that we are here with a problem. Just like in AA, you have people who've been at it longer, the "sponsor" who can recognize the BS and call you out on it. We all need to remember our responsibility to each other. Let's not enable each other. There's a difference between:
1) A lapse at one meal or one day or even one week and getting back on track with a good attitude and

2)Eating badly day after day, missing exercise habitually and then being upset because you don't lose.

My son cam home from camp and said he learned something from his leader. He said, "KP duty is just about as hard as you make it." Now, he's 12 so his interpretation was "Don't make a big mess and it'll be easier to clean up." But when he said it to me it stopped me in my tracks. This is a VERY important life lesson. Maybe one of THE MOST important. So I sat him down and explained the deeper meaning.

To me, this means that you can whine and bitch and complain about how hard it is and how long it will take and how gross the mess is, or you can approach it with a smile, acknowledge it will be hard, but be confident that you can clean it up in a jiff and be on your way. My 12 year old son got it. Do you?

Losing weight is hard. It's damn hard and it takes a long time. But, sometimes I think we make it harder than it really is. I know I have and sometimes do. We make it so big in our minds, we talk ourselves into thinking it can't be done.

This was me a few months ago. About 3 weeks into this change, like clockwork, I had a small gain. And like clockwork, the petulant child inside me started in. Like my 3 year old daughter frustrated as she tried to learn how to button up her jammies, I mentally stomped my feet and said, "It's just too hard! I'll never be able to do this! It's stupid! I'm stupid! It's not fair!" I don't know why I did it. But on my facebook page there appeared a post from the LoseIt program I use about a blogger who'd done a review. I clicked on it. I read his story. He'd lost almost 200 pounds. From his blog I found others and as I sat there with tears in my eyes I realized that if they can do it, then DAMN IT so can I.

And, that was a turning point for me. I found Sean, a fellow Okie, BTW, who was over 500 pounds and lost weight. He was twice what my heaviest was. It Wowed me. I read and read. I was scared to start a blog. But found myself thinking things in my head I could share and wanted to tell these people I imagined that were becoming my friends. So I sent Jack Sh*t an email and asked him how to start. He replied with in minutes. That impressed me so much. And here I am.

I'm not perfect. I don't have all the answers. I appreciate all the help I've gotten from my blog friends. This is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. BUT, I know TODAY I woke up and did my C25K week 6 day 2 and when I weighed in I'd lost another 2.4 pounds bringing my total to 32.2 pounds lost. Something I've never done before. Ever.


  1. Ok, a little wishy washy at the end, but ok. Kissinger, Sadat, Dr. Fatty...Did you read the blogger yesterday that when I told her about the risks of edamame for women, (wife is a 10 year survivor) she said "but they help me lose weight". As a guide, think about that answer as you address this classroom... All the best.

  2. Congrats on the 32 pounds lost! I'm very proud of you, and I will be here for every pound lost, cheering you on!!

  3. I agree about those rocker bottom shoes. I did a post about them, because I have plantar fascitis and for THAT, they're awesome, but I can't ever imagine anyone being like...WHEW, hard workout! haha. Made my butt sore for the first couple days and that was about it

  4. Congrats on the 32 lb total...and thanks for the followup!

  5. Fabulous job getting down 32+ lbs. I will be able to stay that maybe after another 4 - 6 weeks, myself.

    I think the shaper shoes are pretty weird looking. They remind me of the kid in elementary school who had to have 'one big shoe" to help him walk properly. I also think I'd probably fall down a lot. I guess getting back up would burn some calories though!

    I love your blog. Jack is great, isn't he? Good thing he was available and not Bad Wayne!

  6. Another 2.4? Awesome. Doesn't it feel great?? I hear you on your rant topic. A very good friend really, really needs to lose and talks a good game, but just doesn't follow through. It's always something, some occasion, a "special" dinner, company, a family celebration, a graduation. She doesn't "get it" that it's just life. Anyway. Congrats on your loss!

  7. Good for you! And it is hard. But maybe you have heard the saying "Dieting is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard."

  8. 32 pounds gets a tipofmy hat; nice!
    I likeyour comparison to our being here being like being in AA. I've never been in AA. Agreed we all have aresponsibility to ourselves and each other. Together, this will be done.

  9. I think there is a lot of enabling in the blog world - we don't want to be mean, and it's hard to know how a little tough love might be perceived.

    Love the lesson that your son learned. So glad you have entered this crazy world, Doc - and many congrats on losing 32 pounds!!!

  10. 32 pounds is terrific. Keep it up. And you have really found your voice as a writer. I look forward to every post.

  11. I enjoyed this post--thank you! I'm glad my story struck you. This transformation road touches everything we do...and I would have never guessed that the physical transformation would be the least profound, but it is--absolutely.
    I'm featuring your blog on my next post!

    Your perspective as a doctor, is a very interesting one to me. I look forward to reading more. And thank you for reading mine!

    My best always,

  12. If you're near Tulsa--I'll be speaking at the Broken Arrow Business Womens Luncheon on Tuesday the 17th at 11:30am. It's open to the public. You can find out more and rsvp at www.babwa.org (just click on the "next meeting" tab. It's $15.00 at the door, but an RSVP is required. If you're close to Tulsa--It would be an honor to meet you at the event.

  13. You just have to be patient and work with more willingness. Surely, what have you asked for will be given to you. I remember my Phoenix gastric bypass surgeon once told me. "You don't need to skip a meal, you need to skip being impatient!" I hope this would help you too.


Progress to TouchDown and GOALLLL!!