Today was a stressful day. There are just times when you're going to be met with challenges, as unfair as it may seem. I am not very fond of confrontation and today I had to deal with some. I get so tired of the gossipy games that go on in my office. From what I hear it happens in every office. I have enough to deal with between taking care of patients and running a business and taking care of my home life. I don't have time or energy for drama. I don't know why some people seem to always need a little of it going on.
I woke up this morning with a massive headache. I'm not sure why other than there were some storms that moved through. I didn't workout this morning. Breakfast was egg substitute scrambled with peppers, tomatoes, Canadian bacon and onions for 142 calories.
Normally I would have my TKD class, but this week the gym is closed while the owners are on vacation. So instead, I did my usual session with the trainer. It was a very hard session. I burned 700 calories. He had me doing sit ups with weights and shoulder presses and chest presses and jumping off shit and climbing on stuff. I'm pretty sure I'll be sore in the morning. At one point in the work out I told him I wasn't real sure I could do these step up things while holding the 15 pound weights. He said, "Yes you can. Just do it." Fine. So I did. BUT, not until I pointed out that the box I was stepping on was a 1/3 of my height or more.
Dinner was yummy rosemary pork chops, roasted broccoli, tomato salad for 342 calories. I came in WAY under budget today for calories, especially after my jammin workout. But, I'm not hungry and I'm tired so, that'll do for today.
As soon as Rescue Me is over, I'm going beddie bye. Tomorrow morning I have planned a workout. I'll either be biking on the stationary or running on the treadmill, just depends on how bad the legs feel.
Oh, I forgot...the best part of today was wearing my new size 16 cute khaki cargo pants and my new cute black blouse, size 18. I believe it won't be long before it's too big, but maybe it'll shrink in the dryer. I guess wearing clothes that fit show my weight loss more because several people noticed today, mostly men.
It really makes me feel weird and I'm not used to the attention. The "You look really good. Have you lost weight?" "Wow! You've really slimmed down. Looks great." I even got one, "You're looking hot." from one of my lesbian patients. OK. I just feel like me. Like I've always been. I don't know what to say because I feel like I need to lose so much more. I feel good about what I've done so far, but I know there is a LONG way to goal from here. I'm just not good at talking about my weight loss yet.
I don't really talk about it with anyone but you my bloggy friends, my husband and my BFF. Otherwise, I don't really discuss working out or what I'm eating or not eating. Although I jokingly threatened to punch a girl at work for poking cookies in my face and asking me if I wanted one today. Well...mostly joking. She knows I don't eat that crap.
But, honestly, I don't really feel like I need to be out there advertising the fact that I'm trying to be healthy. If people ask, I tell them as little as it takes. Sometimes I tell them about a work out. I still deep down am afraid I'll fail in a tiny little place. I don't want to advertise as I'm a little afraid of letting people see me screw up. Again.
But, mostly I just feel like this is my deal, you know? This is for me. This is just me and my life. It's not a diet or a program. It's not like before where I was all about telling people about my latest diet discovery. No, this time it is just me putting good food in my body and moving it in ways I never thought I would. I guess I'll need to work on how I react to other people's reaction.
What about you? How do you handle these sorts of conversations and complements?
This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.