Dear Mr. Scale,
I am writing this letter to inform you that your performance has been less than satisfactory. After carefully following my diet plan, drinking water until I feel like I need a freaking catheter, and exercising daily, you have failed to produce the loss expected of you. In fact, today you chose to show a gain. No matter how many times I get on and off you, the numbers are not consistent. Consistency and cooperation are absolutely necessary for us to maintain a healthy working relationship.
After much thought, I have come to the realization that there are only a few explanations for this problem. Either you are a complete failure and need to be replaced or you are deliberately trying to sabotage my efforts. I want to be clear, I have no problem replacing you with a newer, younger, more attractive and efficient scale. However, we have a long standing relationship. We have worked as a team in the past. I am willing to give you a chance to improve.
But, let me be clear. I will NOT be intimidated. I will NOT be set off course. I will not allow your negativity and failure to perform affect the outcome of this long term project as a whole. I am doing my part. Now it is your turn to do yours. I will reevaluate in a few days. I certainly hope we can continue to work together.
Sincerely,
ME
You tell that scale who's boss! They are such fickle creatures. Must be male.
ReplyDeleteI love it! My scale it being a bitch this week too. It's like it is taunting me. I know my calories are in line, I know my water is in line... but the scale. It is not playing nicely with others! I normally weigh 1-2 times per week, but my weigh in days are different than Allan's so I am weighing like 4 times a week (I like a preview a day or two early.) Stupid scales!
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! You are woman, hear you roar!
ReplyDeleteI love it. Forge ahead! No looking back now.
ReplyDelete:-)
check the batteries, Doc! I've always thought tough love was the way to go!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though. Haven't you made some changes in your program lately? Make sure the changes are working for you and make sure that you're checking for those NSVs to be sure you're not in a stall.
My scale tried that bullshit about a month ago.. I wasn't so nice- replacement was ordered via Amazon before lunch! I love the new one, it's so consistent! Check out the eat smart scale if you do decide to toss the lazy one ;)
ReplyDeleteAre you eating every 2 hours?
ReplyDeleteAre you eating lots of protein? Cutting back on the carbs and sugar?
Scales suck. Blah.
Scales are the devil. They like to taunt you when you've given all you can give during the week. I say bash it with a baseball bat and bury it in the backyard!
ReplyDeleteA post that is dear to my heart, Dr. F. Scales are a "necessary??" evil? I have a love/hate relationship with mine. A couple of weeks ago, when it was badly misbehaving, I found that it needed new batteries. Settled the darn thing right down. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteLOL! he has been warned!
ReplyDeleteI giggled when I read this. :) You go, doc!
ReplyDeleteMuscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Muscle weighs more than fat. Yeah, I don't buy it either.
ReplyDeleteStupid scale. The nerve. I mean really.
ReplyDeleteI giggled at this post which reminded me that I need to change the batteries in my scale.