This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Tuesday Trials

This morning I am very tired and quite frankly I am down. My daughter is still sick. Fever last night at 4am and I've been up since. Not good since I didn't get to sleep until after midnight as I was worried and checking on her.  My brain doesn't do as well when I am not sleeping. Although I can function, I am slower. I'm also more emotional when I'm tired so this morning was difficult when I read this.

I will say this. I have forgotten or neglected to send Allan my weight before and he's right it is rude.  For that I apologize and I certainly didn't mean to upset him.  I am frustrated by my lack of weight loss and although I realize the challenge is not a contest, as he says all the time, it is discouraging to see others lose and I am not. My overall trend is downward, but I have definitely stalled lately. The loss is much slower.

I think I can do better and this is a new week. I am decreasing my carbs and continuing my fluids. I am continuing to work out although this hamstring is a real pain. It is limiting my workouts and that I am extremely irritated about.  I missed TKD today because my clinic ran late. I've already made arrangements to go to the evening class tonight. I don't know how well I'll do with the hamstring issues, but I'll do my best.

Today I'm reminding myself why I'm doing this. All of it. I started this road for me because I knew I needed to change or die. I started this blog as a lifeline to help me stay committed and it's working.  I realize this is a life change I am making here and 77 pounds later and I have changed. Am I where I want to be? NO. And that is where I have to focus.  I have a long way to go. I got here by finding what works for me, making adjustments when something doesn't and by staying consistent with both diet and exercise.  I don't know everything and I'm always willing to learn. Obviously living a thin lifestyle doesn't come naturally to me, but I can learn. I WILL learn. So I'll keep going........


  1. Sometimes (a lot of times) life gets in the way of our focus on our weight loss efforts. Your first responsibility as a mother is your sick child.

    But don't fall off the wagon over this. YOU are making YOU feel dissatisfied with your rate of weight loss. With all due respect, stop this! You are beating yourself up for not being the fastest/best/first and perfect. You have said yourself many times that you are not perfect.

    I am looking from the outside, but it looks to me as if you have made great progress. You have lost twice as much as I have lost in less time. You know more about weight loss and nutrition than most of us because of your profession. You are a wonderful mother to not just one child, but three children. You are not afraid of exercise.

    But you are trying too hard to be perfect, and I will tell you, you are not. That is great, because none of us are perfect. And this weight loss thing is damn hard!

    Please cut yourself some slack, and by all means, stay in the challenge. We all need Allan, and each other, to kick our butts sometimes.

    You are one of my favorites, Doc, and I have followed you for a long time. In hard times, take one day at a time. And I will send up prayers for your daughter. Stay strong!

  2. The scale does not, cannot reflect how much fat you are really losing. It especially cannot measure how well you are sticking to your plan. Stop weighing so often and go to measurements if you want a better assessment of fat loss. (Sorry if the tone comes across as harsh - not intended.)

    Check out my weight loss graph and note the number of prolonged plateaus. This is a life long activity, not a f'ing race. Step back and breathe - enjoy life as you get healthier. Doctor's orders.

  3. Allan is awesome...a strong encourager, who is human like the rest of us. I've heard that the body sometimes "catches up" to our weight loss, which might be the casual reasoning behind a plateau (for awhile). Use it for motivation, but I encourage you to continue on your path.

    Indeed, you have lost a lot of weight and are working hard to do the right things for yourself (and your family, and work, etc.).

    Marathon, not a sprint.

  4. Doc, 77 lbs is amazing, fantastic, and incredible. This down period you are in? This too shall pass. Hang tough.

  5. Sometimes you just have to change it up. You'll figure out what works for you. For me I've seen hydration do the trick, upping complex carbs, upping veggies/ fruit, upping calories, decreasing calories, increasing exercise, decreasing exercise... our bodies are trying to drive us insane some days, I swear.

    As long as you keep tweaking and don't give up, the scale will eventually cooperate. And hugs on the still sick kiddo -- that just sucks. I hope she's better soon and that you can finally get some sleep!

    (which, remember, is also a factor in weight loss)

  6. Glad you're back in the challenge! This is a marathon, not a sprint. I think just staying consistant is really helping me. No crazy on the wagon, off the wagon swings for me all year, and this has been my best year for weight loss EVER!

  7. Doc, I feel ya. I got so used to such big losses, that now that I am down to smaller ones, I know it can be kinda frustrating. I think maybe we are kindred spirits. I too strive too hard for perfection and when perfection seems unattainable, I tend to struggle. One thing I did was have a talk with myself a couple of weeks ago and decided that it is ok if I start losing a pound every couple of weeks, that is actually healthier and more sustainable. I also took the time to reflect on all the great things that I have accomplished. I took ten minutes to just admire my body, and reflect on memories of what it used to really look like. Maybe you should do some old photo browsing and really appreciate where you are from where you were. Then, do some future planning. Imagine the scale going down slowly, and allow yourself to feel ok with that because in two years, that will be sustainable weight loss, instead of instant but temporary gratification. YOu have made great changes, I think the slower weight loss is a marker of that. Once you get in better shape, it is harder to lose, so you are in much better shape chick!

  8. You KNOW What you need to do to lose weight. You've been doing remarkably well over the last few months. So what are you doing now versus what you were doing previously that was working for you? What has changed? If you can figure out that X factor, you can make the changes that you need to get back on the weight loss train. HUGS!


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