This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Monday, December 6, 2010

I'm still ALIVE, but barely

This weekend was action packed and a lot of fun.  But not altogether successful on the diet front. I lived through the party with the boys. They were actually really great. My BFF arrived Friday night and we stayed up late talking. Got up Saturday am. I made the boys pancakes and bacon for breakfast. (which I didn't eat.) Then the boys got picked up and I proceeded to clean up the mess.

My husband's BFF flew in Saturday am so I had to get the other guest room ready for him. Then we went out and got our outside lights done. Which included trimming the hedges out front. After that we went to eat lunch. I split a veggie pizza with my BFF and had a house salad.  We got home in time to rest a few minutes and change for the game.

Left the house at 4pm. Drove to the game. Luckily the route my brilliant husband chose was not too bad traffic wise. We hung out in the parking lot with the other tailgaters and took pics and had a couple of drinks. I had Mike's hard lemonade, light. When we got into the game I had a bottle of water. Then I had a rum and diet coke and then more water. I had a catfish sandwich, without the bread and cup of frozen yogurt. And finished up with a bunch of water. Over all I did ok, not great, but ok. We yelled, we screamed, we jumped up and down. It was an amazing and exciting game and we WON, so it was super awesome.

We didn't get home until nearly 1am Saturday and we hit the sack. I was so tired and had very little voice left.  I had to get up early on Sunday for little girl's party. Cleaned house. Cooked breakfast, egg white omelet.  And that's where the day headed south. I have to say that yesterday was the first day in well......I can't remember when that I didn't count my calories and I ate WAY too much shit I shouldn't have.

I was very frustrated because I weighed and I was still up 1.5 pounds. This set me off and I guess I was so tired from everything going on. There's really no excuse whatsoever for the crap I ate yesterday. None.   Partly it happened because I was busy, so busy.  After I cooked breakfast and cleaned the house. I left for the store to get the last minute things for the party. By the time I got home and finished decorating and cleaning, it was time for the party which meant no lunch.

If I know one thing it is I can't skip meals.  Getting too hungry leads to bad choices. So I skipped lunch. Well, I guess I had cake for lunch. Oh, and ice cream.  Very healthy and nutritious. Then my hubbie and bff wanted wings for dinner. Yep. I ate them. I made a big salad and had that so I didn't eat many wings, but it was enough. Enough that I got sicko. I just can't eat like that anymore.  This is the first time since the hazy days post-op that I have no idea how many calories I ate. None. I still feel sick this morning. Sick from the food and sick about my behavior.

And I woke up with the nasty asthma.  No voice and my right leg is bruised all the way down my right thigh to my knee from the game on Saturday when I was jumping up and down and....well it ended badly. So I'm hobbling around and I can barely breathe.  But, I'm in a super mood. Why?

The Sooners won the game. The Cowboys won their game. My kids had super birthday parties. My BFF and husband's FINALLY got to meet in person. I had so much fun this weekend. I wish I'd made some better choices, but I have to move on from that. And I'll tell you this, even with the nasty food I chose, I ate less. Much less that I used to eat. I see this as a victory. In the past I would have eaten non-stop. I wouldn't have skipped meals I would have eaten meals and the extra crapola. And I still use smaller plates and eat smaller portions.  I see this as real evidence that I am changing.

I of course didn't weigh today. That would be a recipe for disaster. I DID however eat my usual breakfast and drink my giant glass of water. Back on the horse this morning and now that the phase 3 of Allan's challenge is on I am on for the rest of the year. There are no days off for me.

Even yesterday, it's not like I said, "I don't care. I'm gonna eat what I want today because I deserve it."  I was faced with some temptation and I did the wrong thing. I also see this as a change because in the past I would've been, "I'll worry about it on Monday."  Instead of an entire weekend where I put the diet aside, I had one day, really 1/2 a day where I made some bad choices and over ate.

I had an NSV this weekend. So, we're at the game. I had gone to get my son  a burger. I'm walking down the stairs when this good looking man comes up behind me leans in close and says, something like, "That ice cream looks good."  I say, " Hey, that's my ice cream, back off Husker." (joking) He says, "We're all friends here. We can meet half way in Kansas." He's grinning this huge grin.  I say, " Toto says we aren't in Kansas anymore." And laughed.   He said something about not being that way and I walked off. So my son who was walking in front of me says, "Mom, that man was TOTALLY looking at you."  Yep. That's right. I got hit on at the game in front of my teenage son. Whom I told NOT to tell his dad and of course that's the first thing he said to his dad when we walked back into the suite.  And speaking of the suite. How cool was that!  Great seats! 3 huge flat screen TVs a fridge and OUR OWN bathroom. no lines. NONE. So cool!

This morning I had some real irritation, but I am in such a great mood, nobody got hurt. I dropped my daughter off at school. I get back in the car and back out. This woman backs right into the side of my car. She didn't even look. I shit you not. AND I was honking. LAID out on my horn. Luckily she was barley moving so she just bumped me and no damage was done to my car. Can't believe I held my temper.   Then, this dumb bitch says, "Oh I didn't see you with the sun in my face." Her van has a rear camera AND I was honking. I said, "Did you not hear me either?"  She was very apologetic. I just rolled my eyes and got back in the car.  I just used it as a teaching moment for my now teenage son who'll be driving in a few years.

Alright. Now I'm off to do my work and try to find some time to read blogs if I can get focused after all the inhalers I've used so far. That stuff makes me so jittery. But, I can breathe. Kinda anyway. Have a great Monday!


  1. Wow, that is a busy busy busy wknd! First, sorry about the bruised leg, the asthma, and the off day, eating wise. But happy about the awesome NSV, the fun time with BFFs and family and enjoying your football games! Your post-game attitude is spot on -- focus on all the positive, but the negative aside. As you correctly noticed, your healthy habits are the norm for you now; the negatives behaviors are the aberrations. Just blips on an otherwise healthy eating radar. So sh*t happens. You pick up and move on, as you are so admirably doing. Great job!

  2. Whoops, meant to say "put" the negative aside. Pardon my typos in the above post -- there are several!

  3. Sometimes things happen that throw us a little curve ball, but that is the nature of life. Knowing how to pick up and get back on track is a really good skill to have, and you have learned how to do that. For me, all of these years of being overweight weren't caused by the occasional celebration. They happened because I did't know how to get back to normal eating afterward. We're all learning, and I'm grateful to have so many fellow weight loss bloggers on this journey.

  4. Awesome display of self -control....
    But sometimes, rolling your eyes is all you can do.

  5. OMGoodness. What IS it with Monday Morning Drivers in school parking lots? Watched a lady back right into the front of my BFF's car this morning. I was literally running towards her yelling "STOP" and waving my arms. If only I had been carrying my coffee cup I would have tossed it at her to get her attention.

    My observation is that most of these incidents happen with the younger set, most of whom are totally self absorbed with their fancy suvsm me first attitudes and my-kid-is-smarter-than-your-kid syndrome and their next nail appointment.

    *sigh* Now I have to stop and wonder when did become one of the "older set"? When did I become such a grouch and at what point did I concede and drop out of the daily competition for dominion in the parking lot?

  6. Glad you are back on track today! How cool that you got "hit' on!

    My family all lives in NE and are huge Husker fans! I don't follow football anymore but it was a big deal when I lived in NE.

    Hope you have an awesome week.

  7. I won't "coddle" you, as our friend says. Just get back on the horse. It's not every weekend you have 2 bday parties and get to use the suite. Back to basics here.

  8. Well, I thought about you at THAT game. How cool that they won! You had a fantastic weekend, so glad you are not beating yourself up to bad. Cowboys and Vikings: new coaches and wins! Fun. Fun!

    So, take care of yourself. Reading that you need to get out those inhalers should be telling you something, doc. Maybe take your OWN advice this time and slow down a bit...

  9. I need a nap after just READING about your weekend! Thought about you Saturday night as we watched the game - glad y'all beat Nebraska. :)

    Very cool with the flirting - now that is fun! And I think it's good you husband knows...his wife is hot and maybe he needs to step it up, you know?!?

    Bad food days happen; it's what you do after that is most important. And it sounds like you got right back to normal eating (and I'm SO GLAD you didn't get on the scale) - regular people have days like that, and go back to normal eating. You're becoming a regular person - Dr. Fatty is going to have to change her name!

  10. What a social butterfly you are. Good work in recognising the NSV's doc - i've noticed similar changes myself....what i now class as going off-plan is nothing compared with the bad old days. Well done, my friend. I, like you, am getting my ass in gear for Allan's phase 3 challenge....i don't realistically think i could stay below 1200 so i'll be going for the other option of eating less than i would at goal weight....Allan's math still predicts a good loss at that rate too tho.

    Kudos on maintaining your zen with the dumb bitch too....i'd do my nut if that happened, but then again i get "pavement rage" let alone "road rage" lol.

  11. You are one hawt mama! It'll be a while b4 anybody hits on me. Shaw!

    Take it easy on yourself, but stay away from those temptations! We can't be 100% perfect every day.

  12. I'm sure there was some football coach who said it's not what happens to you, but how you respond to it. So go get 'em.

    Wow, what a football weekend for you!!! As for our corner of the world, the Huskies beat the Cougs, finished 3rd in the Pac-10, and are going to the Holiday Bowl! We'll take it, two years removed from 0-12.

  13. Great post with many levels of human endeavor. Your honesty is refreshing. Buckeyes vs. Hogs in SB very refreshing, too. Those Youngstown guys really know how to coach, don't they? Yours beat theirs. Onward.


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