This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Tale of Woe

So yesterday ended no better than it started. Hate to be a bummer, but just reporting the facts. I had my headache until....well.....still have it some. Sigh. But, little girl has a bad ear infection. Poor thing. Now son has bronchitis and husband has a sore throat. So far my middle child and I remain well and let's hope it stays that way.

I weighed this morning and lost a pound, but I think it would have been more if I hadn't had the crackers and soup yesterday. I was just nauseated with my migraine and  couldn't eat like I normally would or drink as much water as usual. I just can't drink water when I'm nauseous.

Little one slept in our bed last night so sleep wasn't great. She had fever through the night. Luckily son slept after I gave him some strong cough syrup and sent him to bed. I got up this morning anyway and rode the stationary bike for 30 min. I did 6.5 miles but that's all I had in me today.

I'm planning a class at TKD either at noon or tonight. Of course it is end of month which means I have to be sure all my work is done before I leave. I didn't get blogging done twice yesterday. Fail. But I did do my best and that's all I can do with a house full of sickos and me not 100%. I didn't get my tracker all done yesterday either. Not good, but I'm on track today.

I took my middle kiddo for a donut today. Don't judge me. What do you do when your kid is crying because she has to go to school and is upset that she's NOT sick?? Irrational I say. So I needed gas anyway and yes I did bribe her with a donut. Of course she is my normal eater and asked for only one plain donut and then didn't eat it all. If only I could eat like that. Happy to say I didn't finish it for her OR the other one I got since they were 2 for $1 or 1 for 99 cents! That one I'll take home to little girl for later.

Instead I had my yogurt and apple with my coffee. I didn't take time to fix a better breakfast today. Wasn't in the mood. I did bring along a yogurt and a cheese stick for snack later. I plan on TKD at lunch and hopefully I'll make it there. We'll see. Busy schedule and all that. I emailed the kids teachers about their absence. Don't want to get those calls later.

So far husband has called no fewer than 4 times to ask about what meds to give the kids. Nanny will arrive soon. Thank god. I hope I get through this day. Son's supposed to have a band concert on Friday and then camping this weekend and he's positively distraught because he wants to go badly.  Other than that no plans for the weekend except Super Bowl of course but no big parties for me. I actually enjoy watching the game. Irritates me to be at a party where socializing is more important than the game.

Middle girl has  TKD test this weekend and I hope to high heaven she doesn't get sick. She'll absolutely FREAK if she misses another test and she's been practicing very hard nearly every day. She told me she practiced at recess yesterday!  Good for her.

OK, that's enough of my tale of woe. Hope you all are well and on track. Take care!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Monday Mood.

Woke up this morning with a terrible headache. Then my youngest was crying with an earache. Gave her a tylenol.   I overslept so no workout today. Running late and forgot to weigh. I don't think I drank enough water over the weekend. I'm very tired today. I forgot my coffee so I stopped by Starbuck's. Been about 6months since  I had that. Used my birthday gift certificate. It was good, but I will not spend those calories often, even though I get the skinny latte.

Anyhoo....took the girls to school and boy to school. He's sick with cough and I think sinus infection. Sigh.  Got a call a little while ago that baby girl was in the office crying with her ear. Nanny picked her up and now I have to go home to look at her at lunch. I hate it when my kids are sick.

I forgot to blog twice yesterday. Oopsy.  We saw The Grey and it was good, kinda depressing but good. We got home late in the afternoon after a trip to Costco. I love that place, but it wears me out.  I was tired so we spent some time watching TiVo. Watched the Walking Dead and I love that show. Hubby hadn't seen any of them yet. Had breakfast for dinner with eggs and tomato slices. Pancakes for the kiddos. They thought it was hilarious. I didn't watch the ProBowl because it is frankly a sorry excuse for football. Went to bed, but didn't sleep well. Likely contributed to my headache this morning.

Plans for the week all depend on the kids and if they are sick or not. Middle girl has a TKD test on Saturday. She's pumped because she'll get her purple belt and then be in my class. She also wants her staff. And yes...they make them that little.

Wish I could be more upbeat, but that's all I got today. Hope your Monday is going OK. I just hope to survive mine. I'll weigh in tomorrow. I think I did well. I'm expecting a loss.  Sorry for my Monday Mood. I'll be reading and catching up. I didn't have time to read much this weekend. Have a good one. More later.....

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Too funny! And holy calories batman!

Good morning all! Had a great time last night! Craig Ferguson was awesome! We had pretty close seats so I could see his facial expressions really well. He just absolutely cracks me up.

Now there are just a few comedians in my list to see. I really regret seeing George Carlin live. He was my fab of all time. The king really. If you young pups don't know who that is google him and then find him on you tube. Funniest stuff ever and timeless! I'd like to see Lewis Black and Robin Williams although the older more sober Robin Williams is not as wild. Again you young ones can look it up.

Also I really like Jeff Dunham and someday I MUST see Dennis Leary live because he too is in my fav list.

I drank one run and diet coke last night and ended up with a turkey club sand which that I ate about half and a few chips. There were not any good options at all. We did a TON of walking as that casino is like a 1/4 mile long or more and we walked the length several times. We played slots a bit. I'm not a high roller but I did win $60 at one point soI broke even. Too much smoke in those places to stay long for me with my asthma.

Oh by the way. Hubby and I saw a movie yesterday and they have started posting calories for their food. All I had was a coke zero but did you know that nachos are 1390 calories!!! A large dink and large popcorn is over 900-1200 depending on what drink you pick!! Hot dogs are about 400 a piece! Holy heart attack batman!!

Today we are seeing another movie. The new Liam Nieson. I just love him. Yesterday we saw Haywire and it was ok. A little slow for my action flick taste. After the movie we'll head to Costco to stock up for the week and then home to the kids.

What are you doing today?? Any comedians you've seen and liked or wish to someday? Stay on track Sunday is not food day people!
Here's pics of the casino

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Off. To the show

Getting ready for the Craig Ferguson show an dinner. Stay on tracks friends!


Well it's official. Hubby an I have a whole 24+hours to be together sans kids. So funny because we feel kinda lost with free time.

Today we're having lunch at Blue Mesa Grill with is a Santa Fe type southwest cuisine place. They have some unusual choices. I went with the Spa Chicken and Spinach Enchiladas. 363 calories and 9 grams fat.

After lunch we will catch a movie then head up north to the casino where we will stay the night and see the show. It's been ages since I saw a comedian live and I'm really excited.

Just a quick post so I don't ignore hubby. Hope you are all staying on plan and enjoying your weekend! More later!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Yeah me!

Post # 2 for today. Pretty sure y'all will get sick of hearing from me soon. Today I realized that this week I've exercised 415min, that's 6.9hours and burned 3,315 calories! And that's just since MONDAY! Yeah me!

I've had a good day today. As expected I was up about 1/2 pound from yesterday due to my enemy sodium. But that's OK because official weigh in is Monday. I say official because that's the weekly weight I record and track.

I'm very excited about seeing Craig Ferguson tomorrow night. Tonight is Taekwondo and then home with the kids. I'm going to post this weekend, even if it is very little. I'm tired right now and I'm sitting here trying to get the excuses out of my head for why I don't need to go to class.  I'll drink more water and I'll make myself go.  I always enjoy class once I get there. I'm having some asthma today so I know I probably shouldn't spar. Hopefully we won't be sparring tonight.

Sometimes I actually fear eating out. Especially when I'm on a "roll" with my healthy lifestyle. I don't want anything upsetting it. I don't know why. I guess I still don't trust myself sometimes? That's silly isn't it. I should be able to control myself. I get even more that way when I don't know where we'll be going for sure and therefore I don't know what choices I'll have. Silly silly. Most restaurants have at least something I can pick and stay on track. I've just got to make the right choice! But, I've got pistachios in my purse and I'll throw in a fiber bar just in case.  Do you ever feel that way about eating out?  Are there certain places you just have to avoid? What are your plans for the weekend?

Friday Random Thoughts

Finally it's Friday. I completed my 10th straight work day of early workouts today. It's starting to get easier. I rode the bike 6 miles and then did one set of arm weights. Only so much time in the day. Wish I had time for more.

Random thoughts:

* Is it weird that I enjoy going to the bathroom?  Not necessarily because of what I'm doing in there, but because it's quiet and peaceful. With the fan on I can just be quiet a few minutes. This is especially noticeable at work. I do a job where people are always asking me questions and wanting something from me. It's nice to just be alone a few minutes. Weird huh?

*If you are wearing a towel in the locker room at the gym DON'T bend over. Just sayin'.  I got an unpleasant surprise this week at the gym. Not cool. Shivers....

* I really enjoy the fact that I work out more than most of the skinny people in my life. Sometimes when I tell them what I've done that week they look at me like "no way". I love that look. Yesterday a drug rep friend of mine asked if I was still up to my martial arts. I said, "Of course" He says, "So if you wanted to kick me in the face right now you could?" Me: "I could not only kick you in the face, but I could kick you, grab you and then take you down." Him:"Uh.Woah...cool.. No way....Don't do that."  Then I proceeded to show him how high I can kick. Dude is easily 6 ft 2 and showed him I can hit him in the head with either a side kick or axe kick. Ha ha ha should've seen the look on his face!

* I haven't had any time to read this week and it's making me grumpy.
* I haven't had any time to watch any of my shows and it's making me grumpy.

*Speaking of the bathroom. Ever go to the bathroom and then laugh?  Yeah..well..I'm weird that way. The other day I weighed and the scale was up a bit. So I'm basically pouting until I arrive at work and spend some time in the bathroom. I'll spare you the details, but it was really clear why the scale is up. Thank you veggies. I just laughed at myself for pouting for no reason. You'd think I'd learn.

* Only a few more hours to the weekend and actual grown up time for me and hubby. Yippee. Just a little nervous about food at the casino where we are staying. I've never been there but I'm assuming it's the same casino fare as most places. Must. Stay. Focused.

* I miss football already...........Senior Bowl this week, Super Bowl and that's it. I do not count the Pro Bowl as no one actually plays. Might as well be a flag game.

OK that's it for now. Considering I'm doing the 2 posts a day, I'll leave it at that. I'd love to hear your random thoughts....have a great day!

Thursday, January 26, 2012


First day and I almost forgot I didn't post twice. I'm having one of those days I guess. Earlier I had a terrible headache. I was sitting at my desk thinking, "Dang it. This headache isn't getting better. Stupid medicine isn't working" when I looked down and realized that the medicine was sitting there in its happy little package and I hadn't taken it yet!  Geez!  I took it and guess what? About an hour later it was better. Imagine that.

Same thing happened with this post. I had this post written in my head and I really thought I had posted it. I was thinking, no one had commented and so I was checking to be sure it posted only to realize I hadn't written it I just thought I did. Sigh.....I guess I am just so busy I get distracted.

Today wound up being a decent day. It was busy but tolerable. Other than the headache it was good. I did miss my noon TKD class AGAIN. So irritating. It was a mix up with the schedule. That's OK. I didn't let it stop me. I went tonight even though I was tired. Hard class tonight and I had trouble. I'm congested and my throat is a little sore. I think it's allergies. After all that rain, the mold counts are up. Stupid mold.  I probably have some fluid in my ears because when I tried to do the 360 round house kicks a few times in a row it was not pretty. I almost fell a couple of times and then I just stopped. I do not want to get hurt.

This morning I rode the bike 30 minutes. I was running late so only a little stretching and that's it. I didn't have time for weights today.  For breakfast I had a bagel thin with egg substitute and turkey bacon and coffee, of course. I had all my water-128 ounces. For lunch I had boiled eggs, yogurt, berries and an apple for snack. Late in the afternoon with the headache I was hungry.  I hadn't planned on eating that stuff for lunch. I was supposed to eat at home. That stuff was supposed to be my morning and afternoon snacks.  I had nothing to eat. Luckily we had some baked lays in the office. I don't eat that stuff much, if ever, but it was either that or dive head first into the big bag of cookies left over from lunch or the cake one of my patient's brought in. The chips were 130calories. Smarter choice.

For dinner I had chicken noodle soup because y throat is more sore. I had a few crackers with it and some hot tea with splenda and an orange slice. Now I'm drowsy and tired and I can't remember the witty and funny things I had written in the phantom post I thought I'd posted earlier. Oh well. hopefully it will come back to me at some point.  The day ended at 1471 calories. A little higher than usual for me. But, I did work out twice. I walked 9961 steps. If I wasn't so tired I'd walk around just to get those 10,000! I burned 750 in exercise. Over all a good day in the healthy eating and exercise front.

TKD was fun tonight as we did a lot of work with our staffs.  It is so much fun. It is hard to learn for me trying to get the hand placement right and the moves down, but I'm learning. We did the usual warm up with crunches and push ups. They added planks tonight. Then we worked on kicking drills and finally the staffs.

I had a lot of sodium today. Won't be surprised if the scale is up a tad. Oh well, it will come off. I'm drinking as much water as I can.  We'll see. Anyway.....post #2 for today is done. I'm exhausted. I hope that my sore throat is just allergies. I'm in no mood to be sick. Hope you all have a good night. See ya in the morning.

Two-A-Days...AND....Is it starting over OR giving up?

So Allan has dared everyone to blog twice a day until February 22nd.   That's a challenge I like. You see when I started this blog, I posted every day. I couldn't stop thinking and talking and writing about my efforts-the workouts, the food, new recipes, frustrations, challenges, victories and motivations. Back then I was losing and losing. Now it is more of a struggle for me.

Like a said a few days ago, I have been thinking about the differences between now and then. I've gone back to morning workouts for the last 2 weeks. Last weekend, I ate great AND tracked my food. I'm losing weight and I'm back in the swing of it. It feels great. But until this morning and reading Allan's post I hadn't realized I'd forgotten about the blog. Oh, I'm still posting. You all know that. I'm reading and commenting like always. But, my posts are every other day, sometimes days apart and it hadn't occurred to me until now that it may be contributing to my gains in November and December and challenges at losing.

This blog is one of the "things I've done differently".  I can't forget that. One of the things that makes this attempt at losing weight different from all the other failures. I've used the excuse of being busy and no doubt I am, but I'm not MORE busy than a year ago or two. I'm the same busy. I'm not more stressed than then. So why less blogging? Well, I know why.  I was not eating right. I was not exercising. Who wants to get on here and say "today I ate crap and didn't move, oh well."?  NOT me. I'm not that kind of person. I was embarrassed and mostly frustrated with myself for giving up for a while.

Yesterday I read something I really liked:

If you are tired of starting over, STOP giving up.

Wow. That hit me like a ton of bricks. How many times have I said to myself, "I've TRIED and TRIED and I just can't lose weight. I've TRIED everything. Nothing works. I'm just genetically programed to be overweight."  Truth was I had NOT tried everything for very long. Truth is I'd tried a LOT of things and given up on them ALL. Worst of all I'd given up on myself. Truth is I'd done a lot more giving up than trying. I had never worked out consistently. I had never stuck with a diet more than a few weeks. What I was saying was I was tired of starting over all the time.

Soooo all that being said, I'm up for the challenge of two posts a day. Even if one is calories and workouts or silly stuff. I'll post. It will keep my mind on my goals and my focus on the process and isn't that what this blog is for anyway?

What about you?  Are you tired of starting over all the time? How many times have you started over? What are you doing differently this time so you won't give up again?  How about two a day posts for you? Or maybe at least daily if you don't usually? Let's do this thing!! Time will not stop because I eat a pizza. I can either stay on track and lose weight OR have the pizza and be this weight again next year and start over. Not me. Not again.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Let's get rolling......

I had a particularly horrible day yesterday. Not my diet, not my exercise....just my life. It ended with a particularly horrible evening and a fight with my husband so it pretty much sucked. Being a doctor is hard sometimes. Of course I cannot discuss particulars, but suffice it to say I had to give someone very, very bad news yesterday. It's always hard, but this was REALLY hard. The office is still really busy. We are still understadffed, but luckily we have 2 new hires starting soon. All of that together made yesterday horrible.

I got up yesterday and worked out on my bike and did 2 sets of weights for my arms. Then breakfast and all like usual. Of course I ran late in the office.....over and HOUR...which is NOT usual for my office and was EXTREMELY frustrating for me and I'm sure my patients. The lateness meant I didn't have time for TKD class, which always makes me grumpy anyway.  I ended up working through lunch and eating very little. I hadn't packed lunch, just snacks. I had some grapes and carrots with 2 tbsp hummus. To be honest that was enough. For once I was stressed and not hungry. It's weird how over time my impulse to eat has changed. In the past I would have been stuffing myself or at least running out to drive thru somewhere and eat alone in my car for lunch. I just don't do that anymore.

Anyway, the afternoon in the office was worse than the morning and by the end of the day I'd had enough. I was irritated with one staff member and ended up kinda yelling at her, something I never do. But, dang it, sometimes it is just warranted. I'm usually the firm one, but not a yeller and I'm very supportive of my staff, but if you're wrong, you're wrong.

I ran late again in the evening, so I ended up leaving without finishing my work. I was NOT missing another TKD class. By then the storm from had moved in and it was pouring out, which I don't mind at all except traffic is worse and I ALWAYS get a migraine when it rains.Here I am driving across town with a migraine in the rain and having eaten very little lunch. Luckily I had been drinking my water and I had an apple I ate on the way to class.

Once I was in class I started to relax. I just focused on the moves and doing them right. I did have some trouble with my breathing as I always do when it rains, but I made it through class without too much trouble.  Afterward the kids and I headed home, got drenched getting to the car and made it home just fine. Chaos ensued as usual.  I didn't get any of my work finished which means I started today behind and I hate that. BUT, I was too tired. I also didn't get to see the State of the Union Address, but I like to watch it later anyway. The constant standing and clapping and such just gets on my NERVES. I like to watch it recorded so I can fast forward when needed.

Anyhoo.......food yesterday was great. I had a small serving of pasta for dinner which isn't often for me. I also had a big salad. I ended up with 1300 calories because I ate a little more at breakfast than usual, I had a banana. I worked out twice so I still had over 500 cal deficit. Fitbit says I walked 8500 steps.

Last night there were tons of storms here and lots of rain. The pond near our house is WAY out of it's banks. Driving to work was a real challenge. I swear people lose their minds when it rains and they forget how to drive. I thought I was going to have to get out of my car and physically remove a woman who would NOT move out of the exit so I was STUCK. She kept edging up like she thought I was trying to cut in the carpool line but I'd ALREADY dropped off my kids and I just wanted OUT. What the heck is wrong with people?? I honked THREE times and she just looked at me like she couldn't figure out what my problem was! So so so rude!

Irritated and wet I arrived at work, LATE because of traffic. Clearly I was NOT catching up this morning. I had already gotten up at 5:20am to fix breakfast for my hubby, pack his lunch and get upstairs to ride my bike. I did half an hour and then I did the video that came with my new foam roller. I'm sore a lot in my hips with all the kicking and I've been meaning to get one for a while. I got one and let me say that it HURTS,  but I'm hoping it will help my hamstrings and iliotibial band.  So overall I did 45minutes of exercise. I had planned a trip to the gym, but I am sore AND I had some errands to run so I didn't go to the gym.  For a moment I felt guilty and then I remembered that I'd already worked out once today. To assuage my guilt I parked a LONG LONG way from the two places I went.

One was Lane Bryant and in general I don't shop there anymore. I can't wear most of the stuff, but their bras are great and I just HAD to get some. I realized last week that I have only 2 bras that fit that are NOT exercise bras.  I've bought several of them and I wear them if I have on scrubs. But under real clothes they look weird sometimes. The two I have are WORN OUT. I haven't bought any in ages. Plus I haven't bought a bra anywhere but Lane Bryant in ages.....well maybe since college....other than the running store. So now I have several new ones and some new undies. I can go home tonight and toss this scragly stringy stretched out thing away!

I weighed today and the scale is down and I'm happy. I'm under 200 again. I never want to see it again!  I've got to maintain this loss through the weekend! And speaking of the weekend.....Hubby and I are getting another date this weekend!  Craig Ferguson is in town. Well...he's up in Oklahoma at a casino. We're going up Saturday for his show and spending the night. I'm so excited because he is so funny. But just to warn you....the world might be in danger.....two weeks in a row for a date night?? Just warning you that the zombie apocalypse could be coming any day. In order to maintain this loss I'll have to avoid the alcohol and the buffet there and I think I can do both.

But, first I have to make it to the weekend and I'm counting hours. Tonight is the showcase for the high school where we have to take son to see all the clubs and activities and get his schedule ready for net year and I'm not ready. I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not. He's such an awesome kid and we laugh all the time and have so much fun I cannot stomach the idea of him being gone!  Of course I have time and I'll enjoy what I have and blah blah blah. I'll think about that tomorrow....

So that's it for now. I really have to focus on work now. Do any of you use a foam roller?  Do you think it helps? As I sit here right now I am realizing that my butt and hamstrings are not sore and my hips haven't ached today.  That's very exciting considering I worked out AND had TKD yesterday and the hard workout Monday with the trainer.  Maybe there is something to it. I can say it isn't really easy as you have to kind of hold yourself up and roll around, but I liked it. I wish I'd bought a longer one though. I may have to get another.

Hope you all are staying on track!  Keep focused on the goal and keep going!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Weekend Wrap up and TAG You're It!

Hello all!  I had a great weekend.  Nothing special, but a lot of cleaning and organizing at home. Where DOES all that crap come from???  It's like it multiplies once it gets in my house!  Junk mail, magazines, newspapers, kids toys.........it just never ends.

I ate well over the weekend!  I'm very proud of myself because I've not done well lately. But not this time. I controlled my eating. I had 1600 cal on Saturday and that's more than I usually eat, but it was all good stuff. Yesterday I had 1153, again all good stuff. I weighed in yesterday at 201.6. This morning 202.6. I think it is because I ate a little later than usual last night. Anyway, either way it's a loss and I'll take it. I'm counting the higher of the weights since technically that's what I weighed today. So 1 lb for this week.

I'm getting closer to where I was before my cruise and the evil that is the holidays. I exercised every day last week, some days twice.  I didn't "exercise" this weekend, but I did spend 6 hours Saturday and 5 hours Saturday cleaning house, including moving furniture, so I'm counting that as my workouts.

 Today I didn't work out in the morning because I had a session with my trainer at noon. I just plain cannot workout in the morning and then with him. TOO hard. I did 1mile on the elliptical to warm up. Then he had me do some major core and leg work.  I did deadlifts 75lbs, leg presses 225lb, Calf presses same weight.  I did 50 situps with a resistance band, 50 reverse crunches and a whole bunch of other stuff that had my legs burning and wobbly afterward. I burned 550 calories.

I'm back to using my fitbit and now I remember why I love it so much. I did upgrade to the ultra. I don't think it is much difference, but I killed my other one with too many washes in the machine.  So far today I've logged 8440 steps! I'm so happy that they completed the integration with LoseIt because NOW it sinks my activity AND my food between the two. SO happy. So basically I log my exercise and activity in Fitbit and my food in LoseIt. (I just like their tracker better and I've been using it nearly 2 years now)

About a week ago Michele at Ruminations  tagged me in a post full of questions that have been circulating. Thanks Michele and I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. As part of the tag I'm supposed to do a few things. Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules. (done)
2. You must post 11 random things yourself. 
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. 
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer. 
5. Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them. 
6. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You legitimately have to tag 11 peeps! 

So here we go.................

11 Random things about me:

1. I am an only child. This makes it particularly strange to see some of the "typical" sibling behavior my 3       kids exhibit.
2. I'm a sports addict. I listen to sports radio all day. I watch ESPN morning and night. I love football, basketball and am learning to love baseball. I also like hockey, but don't follow it much. 
3.  I love to read. I don't always get time, but I always have at least one book. Now with my ipad it's easier. I can whip it out waiting in line or other things and just read, read, read.
4.  I was raised by a single mom. I'm the first in my family to be a doctor.
5. I love, love, love the movie Finding Nemo.  I know all the dialog and I'm constantly quoting from it. This summer while traveling in South Dakota, we stayed in a small town. That night there were very few choices on the TV.  We found Nemo on a Spanish channel. My son and I were laughing so hard because we translated the whole thing and I do not speak Spanish! I just think there is so much in the movie that applies to my life. Just keep Swimming.
6.  I hate, hate, hate snakes. Icky poo!
7.  I've always wanted to fly in a hot air balloon. I've been up one when I was about 10, but we were tethered so we just went up a bit and back down. 
8.  I love ghost stories and scary stuff. I've been on ghost tours in many cities. My favorite was the Jack the Ripper tour in London at night through the neighborhoods where the actual murders took place. It was sooooo awesome. Not everyone believes in ghosts, but I do. I've seen them. One night when I was on call as a resident, I was on my way to the call room to catch a couple hours of sleep. The call room was in a older part of the hospital that wasn't used anymore. The call room was an old patient room. That night, a patient with an IV pole passed me in the hall way. He was an older man and wearing a hospital gown. It occurred to me that he shouldn't be in this area of the hospital. I turned around to ask him if he needed help and he was gone. Yep. I'm a believer.
9.  My favorite city in the US I've  visited is New Orleans. Probably because of #8. But also I love jazz and blues music. There's something about "Nawlins I just love.  I've been there many times. The people, the food, the music, the history.....I just love it. But.........I don't think I'd want to live there. Then it wouldn't be as special anymore.
10.  I have a Nanny that's worked for us for going on 10 years. She is Italian and she is wonderful. She's a part of our family now. She doesn't live with us, but she helps so much with the house and cooking and kids. I couldn't do without her. We found her through an agency. She was the first and only one we interviewed. 
11.  I originally planned to be a psychiatrist.  I wanted to do Pediatric Psychiatry. I even took extra rotations in it in medical school. BUT, I decided it wasn't for me because the kids would come in the hospital, get better and we'd send them right back into the dysfunctional environment they came from. It turned out to be kind of depressing. Family Medicine is much better for me. I have a bit of ADD. Something new and different with each patient is much more interesting.

And now on to Michele's questions..........
1.  Did you play a musical instrument in school? Which one? Do you still play?  Yes I played an instrument-the piano and my voice. I was in choir in school. I used to be the pianist at church when I was younger. I still sing and I still play the piano.

     2.Do you collect things? What? Not really.
3.    What was the last sporting event that you attended? OU football game in November.
4.    Have you ever seen brilliant night sky stars? Where were you? Oh yes. We used to go camping a lot when I was a kid. So many stars when you get outside the city. In Colorado 2 years ago, the kids and I sat outside and looked at the stars.......lovely.
5.    What would a perfect day be for you? Any day I get to relax and enjoy my family is a great day.
6.    What is one of your latest book reads? What kept you reading it? Just read the first in a series about a fallen angel called Hush, Hush.  I really enjoyed the characters and the mysetery.
7.    What kind of pen do you use? Whichever one is closest.
8.    Apple or PC? PC, but I also have an ipad.
9.    What magazines or weeklys do you read or subscribe to?  I'm sure it won't surprise you to learn that I subscribe to Sports Illustrated and Sooners Illustrated. I also get Better Homes and Gardens and Southern Living. Plus Texas Monthly, National Geographic and Entertainment Weekly. We also get Consumer Reports, Popular Science, Scientific American, and I'm sure there are a few more. Geez that's a lot. I didn't realize how many!
10.  What satisfies you about the work that you do?Helping people feel better. Being able to feel like I'm making a difference in people's lives.
11.  What do you hope for yourself in one year? I hope to be a brown belt. I hope to be healthier and weigh less. I hope to get my throat surgery. I hope to get Lasik. I hope to travel.
I hope I'm as happy then as I am now.

And now I have to come up with 11 questions. So here they are:
1. What was the last meal you ate out? Was it as good as you thought it would be?
2. What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Was it good?
3.  What radio station do you listen to most?
4.  Which would you want to be a Vampire or Werewolf? Why?
5.  What is one of your most vivid memories from grade school?
6.  What was your favorite vacation?
7.  Where would you go if money and time were no consideration?  Why?
8.  What is your one pet peeve?  The one thing that drives you nuts.
9.  Which is worse.....a complete physical exam(pap for women, rectal for men) OR a trip to the dentist? Why?
10.  Do you like summer or winter best? Why?
11.  What is one thing you wish people knew about you?

And NOW I'm supposed to tag 11 of my blog peeps. If you've already been tagged, I'm sorry.
1. My friend Jenn over at her new blog Real Housewife of Cleveland County.  It's not a weight loss blog per say, but she has recently lost 40 lbs and taken up running.
2. Allan of Almost Gastric Bypass
3.  Jan at Writing to Wellness
4.  Patrick at Responsibility 199
5.  Kyle at Getting Better and Better
6.  Alan at Pounds off Playoff
7. Tami at Nutmeg Notebook
8. Amanda at It's All About the Walls
9. Karen at Waisting Time
10. Tish at Incremental Improvements
11. Anne at Carb Tripper

Okey Dokey. That should be all for now. I did spend time watching football this weekend. I sure was hoping one of the underdogs would win. Oh well.....What did you do this weekend?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

What's your excuse???

Every day seems busier lately. We are short handed at work. Trying to get someone hired, but it means more work for me and therefore more stress. I had a board meeting last night until 10:45pm so there was no time to do work catch up then. I sit here now with a butt load of work in front of me, but I'm determined to post today.

The week is going well as far as diet and exercise. I got up again yesterday and rode my stationery bike. After I did some stretching. Then I did 2 sets of arm weights-bicep curls, triceps, butterflys, chest presses, shoulder presses. I used my 8# weight because that's the biggest one I have. I'd like to get a set of those adjustable hand weights I see with the discs. Anyone have those?

I knew I'd have no time at lunch for the gym, but I thought maybe if I finished early in the office I could make it before my board (bored) meeting. Of course I was deluding myself, but I did pack my gym bag. I try to keep one in my car ready to go all the time. That way if I have an unexpected hour to hustle over there I can. Yeah. It doesn't happen very much but I don't need to give myself any excuses.  I have an easy enough time trying to talk myself out of the gym as it is. 

Yesterday I ate 1256 calories. I packed snacks to eat and lunch. I wanted to have a healthy snack before heading to the meeting because I never know what food they'll have. Turns out they had grilled asapargus. YUMMY. I love that. Aside from the nasty urine smell of course. They also had some barbecue brisket and smoked sausage. I ate a very little of that because I didn't want the calories.

On a side note.......did you know that only 22% of people are able to detect the odor in the urine of people who have eaten asparagus. Apparently there is a recessive gene that allows you to smell the odor. Apparently everyone's urine smells that way but only 22% of people can SMELL it.  I'm one of them. See.  I am special.


Today just plain sucked. I did get up and ride my bike.  I enjoyed my morning workout today, but I didn't have time to do any weights or such, just a little stretching.  Kids were in a mood this morning. Bickering. Irritable. Whiny. Distracted. That's probably because my little one came down at like 2:50am saying she had a nightmare about a rat running around the house and chasing her. SCARY.  I let her hop in our bed for a bit. About 10-15min later, here came the other girl saying she was lonely and had a nightmare. Isn't it convienent then that they share a room?  Sent them upstairs and told them to climb in bed together and go back to sleep. They always end up in bigger sister's bed. It's a twin bed, but they are still small enough to both fit.

 SO yeah. I was tired today after only 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep, and that was interrupted. Sigh......That didn't help the mess of my day. Some days as an FP just are harder. I had a patient walk in with a insect sting to the neck having an allergic reaction right at noon. In the midst of that emergency we find out that the epinephrine we had was expired. Great. Gave it anyway since that's all we had. Luckily the patient was fine, but it killed my lunch since we had 3 interviews to do at lunch. After that more patients. THEN we had to call an ambulance for another patient. I had several doctors calling me which interrupts my day. On top of that it was like drug rep carrousel in my office.

A lot of doctors don't see drug reps anymore. I do because it gets my patients free medication. It's controversial in the medical community. A lot of people argue that it influences us to prescribe certain drugs. BUT my reports from the insurance companies show that my use of generics way out performs my peers so I feel like I am managing that...............but I digress.

Point is a lot of drug reps and phone calls means a lot of interruptions. At the end of the day I still had today's work to finish AND yesterday's. Fabulous. Good news is that Thursday is our late TKD day. My class doesn't start until 6:30pm. I stayed at work and managed to at least catch up some of it. I prefer to go to the noon class so we aren't so late getting the kids home, but I missed that class as you can see from the above discussion.

BUT the point I'm trying to make in all this rambling is this: it's always easier to go the path of least resistance. It would have been so easy for me to say to myself, "Look you already did 30 minutes of cardio.  You can miss this class."  I was tired and stressed, but I have made a commitment to do a certain level of exercise. Every week. I've also set a goal to get my black belt someday. I won't reach my goals with that or my health by taking the easy way out. There's nothing easy about what I'm trying to do. Not the black belt and not losing weight and keeping it off. It's hard. It takes commitment and consistency.

Over the last 2 months I've let that idea that this is life or death slip my mind. I can either get this weight off or risk dying. Plain and simple. It's not about how I look. My dress size. The scale. It's not about people telling me how great I look. It's not even about me being a good example for my patients or family. It's about the fact that being this fat can kill me. I know this more than anyone. I see it everyday. I'm not doing that. So.......I can either use one of the millions of things I've used over the years to get in my way OR I can live.  It's not really a choice now is it?

Here's a few of things I've used to justify NOT exercising:
I'm too fat. People will look at me. I might hurt myself. I don't have time. I'm too tired. Exercise is just not my thing. I'll never be skinny anyway. I have too much to do. I should be spending time with my family. I just need some alone time for me.

It's too hot. It's too cold. It's too windy. I can't find my shoes. I forgot my shoes. I need new shoes. My friend said she'd go with me and then backed out. If only I had an "accountability partner".  I'll lose a little weight first, then it will be easier and I can really focus on exercise.(huh?) It's too late at night. It's too early. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know HOW to do it. I don't have a gym membership. I have a gym membership but I'm too embarrassed to go.

My work out clothes are too tight. My work out clothes are too loose. My workout clothes aren't fashionable enough. My workout clothes are too nice and I might get them too sweaty. (No, really I actually had this thought once)

  I'm sick. I'm getting sick. I MIGHT get sick. I might get hurt. My back/ neck/knee/ankle/leg/elbow/3rd finger/ left big toe hurts. I have a migraine. I MIGHT get a migraine. It's too noisy in the gym. It's too crowded at the gym. There's not enough people there then and the trainers will all be looking at me.  I'll have to take the kids to the childcare center and I'm already a working Mom, so I should spend more time with my kids. I should be spending time with my husband/pet/mom/cousin/neighbor. 

My closet is a mess. Laundry. Dishes. Kids homework. My homework. I deserve a break. I've lost so much weight and am achieving my goals so I deserve a day off. (pretty twisted one, right?)  I'll start on Monday. I'll start on the weekend. I'll start after the holiday/birthday/kid's birthday/trip/summer break/spring break/cruise/vacation/doctor's appointment. I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant. I'm depressed. I'm just in too good of a mood. I'm too hungry and I won't have time to workout AND eat (WTF?).

I'm on my feet all day at work and I never sit down so I'm REALLY active. I "ran late" at work. (yeah because I was blogging about my terrific healthy lifestyle) My reader is just SOOO full. I haven't read or commented on many blogs lately so I should catch that up.

I've got my period. I'll be getting my period soon. I'm bloated. I'm dehydrated.  I don't want to have to change clothes and shower again. I forgot clean underwear/socks/my makeup/shampoo/pony tail holder/gym membership card.  I might be over training. I might get big muscles. I might not be building enough muscles anyway. EVERYONE needs a rest day.

I'll do it later. I'll catch up on my workouts over the weekend. I overslept. I didn't sleep enough. I forgot to track my food anyway today(how this relates to me working out, I don't know) I just can't face another workout. I screwed up my training schedule so I might as well wait until tomorrow and get back on track.  I'm really hungry. I just ate. I forgot my water bottle and I have no money. (of course I have credit cards)

My cell phone battery is really low so I can't listen to my music. I don't have my headphones. My headphones are broken. I never have time to make me a good playlist for working out. I forgot the book I was reading when working out.  I just want time to read my book.

I have diarrhea. I'm constipated. I have a rash. I might get a rash. I need gas (for the car, silly).  I have a flat tire.(OK so that one should probably be acceptable). I really wanted to DRIVE THROUGH the car wash (while sitting on my butt of course).

I don't want to make my husband feel guilty since he's NOT working out. (seriously!?!)  I don't want my BFF to be jealous if I work out MORE than her. (good lord) My BFF is so much BETTER at working out that me. I'll never be an athlete anyway.  Once I start I'll have to keep going or I won't STAY in shape (most twisted one EVER!!)

I SWEAR!  If I'd spent half the amount of time working out as I have spent finding reasons why I couldn't or shouldn't work out, I'd be at my goal weight by now.

Learn to recognize an excuse when you "hear" yourself make one. Spend more time thinking of ways to make getting in a workout easier and removing obstacles. Spend a little time planning workouts into your schedule and then treat it like you would a business meeting or doctor's appointment. That time should be committed  to exercise and if anyone or anything tries to interfere with it, make sure it's important enough that you'd cancel a meeting with your boss/lawyer/doctor/dentist.  Because it's THAT important. Because YOU are THAT important.

And that's why I went to class tonight, even being tired and stressed out. I want to live. I'm important. I only get one life to live. I want ALL of it I can get.

So did you recognize any of those excuses? What excuses have you been using to avoid workouts lately?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Weekend Wrap up.....late...AND I got an award....AND my aching abs!

I've been trying to find time to get a post in since Monday. Sigh........But, here I am now.  I guess I need to post shorter posts on days that are busy.  I want to let Michelle know I got her tag and I'll post on that really soon. It's another thing I have to sit down and think about. I really enjoy those posts so I'll definitely get it done soon.  I've been reading and commenting. I love the new reply option in the comments. Now I can reply to people directly. 

Last weekend was good, but I ate too much and too much salt. When will I learn to control myself on weekends???!!!??? Sigh..... I didn't do much. I took my youngest to her play date. Then middle daughter and I got to spend some rare time together. We decided to go to the mall, mainly to shop at Barnes and Noble for books. I spent my gift certificate in William-Sonoma (LOVE that place) and got a cherry pitter. My cousin has one and ever since I saw it I've wanted one. Can't wait to use it. On cherries and seeded grapes. Any other uses for that thing? I'm sure my kitchen guru friends will have ideas. Sunday I took the girls to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. Is it weird that I'm REALLY excited to see Nemo in 3D in September?? It is honestly one of my favorite movies of all time. I've seen it 100 times, literally.

On Monday when I weighed I had gained back the pound I had lost on Saturday morning. Woe is me and my weight fluctuations. Yesterday I got back on track with food water and exercise. I had 1149 calories yesterday. My workout was an hour on the elliptical. I just love that thing. I don't really love my achy hips after that long. I do quite a bit of resistance, up to level 18 and back down.  I hadn't planned on doing the whole hour on it, but I was reading and sweating and enjoying myself. I looked down and it was 46min. Well....with 5 min cool down that's 51 min and it just seemed silly not to do that piddly little extra 9 min and get the 60. I love when the timer rolls over. It's like the machine is quitting in defeat and saying, "You win. Now get off."  Hee hee. Love it.

Also yesterday I ate a boatload of carrots.  I don't know why I get in these moods and just eat tons of one thing or another, but I do. I've also figured out that when you eat crap for a day or two and then go back to eating good, whole, healthy, fresh and FIBER filled foods it can.....affect your......digestion. I'll spare you the details, but leave it to say that after the peas, carrots, grapes, apple, orange, green beans, celery and more carrots I ate yesterday I am making many trips to the potty. This alone should remind me why eating healthy foods CONSISTENTLY is so important. Your body just functions better on healthy fuel. I feel better today, more energy.

Today I've had 1049 calories, but I am full and satisfied. Again I had a lot of fruit and veggies and this will likely not help the aforementioned problem, BUT I know my body will adjust soon and everything will straighten out. I've been down this road before. I had a lot of fruit again today. I just love it. For breakfast I had egg substitute with a splash of chipotle tabasco. That's yummy stuff. For lunch I had some fruit and cheese. Just sounded good. For dinner I had chicken and brown rice. I also had some stir fry Asian veggies. These are new. I got them at Sam's last week and it was really good. 50cal a cup and the kids even loved it!

For exercise I got up early to workout.  This is something I haven't been doing. When looking back through my blog to when I was losing weight faster, I realized morning workouts were routine then. SO, I'm restarting the trend. When I work out in the morning, my whole day goes better. It focuses my attention on healthy living and I'm less likely to succumb to temptations. I did 30min on the bike, 50 push ups, 100 crunches, 50 reverse crunches and planks. Felt so good to start the day sweating again.

At lunch I was honored with a plaque from the local radio station. Seems that they've started a thing where they have a tribute to doctors nominated by the listeners. I'm the doctor for this month. Apparently I got a lot of nominations. I feel so honored to be recognized that way, by my patients, for going the extra mile and doing a good job. Here's a pic of me and my staff receiving the award.
They also brought lunch for the office which is one reason I had cheese for lunch. There was a cheese tray. There was also a cookie tray, but I did NOT eat that.

After work, I changed my clothes and headed to tae kwon do for class. It was a VERY hard class today as we spent the class doing sparring drills. I definitely felt the 90 crunches we did in class after this morning! Then we ended with free sparring. I did great until the very end. I suddenly couldn't breathe. My asthma and subglottic stenosis strike again. This is the first time I've tried to spar off the steroids. Bad news. I'm going to the ENT next week to get checked and schedule my surgery.

I finished tonight off doing work I didn't get done at work. That's why I'm posting so late. I promised myself I would NOT go to bed without posting SOMETHING tonight.   There's so much more I want to discuss like certain celebrities who have finally admitted they have diabetes and various irritations and experiences I've had lately, but .....speaking of bed.......I'm tired. I'll work on that post and maybe the post for my tag from Michelle tomorrow.

Welcome to all my new readers! If I'm not yet following your blog, please let me know in the comments. I love discovering new blogs to read.

Do you have a favorite kitchen gadget?  Do you have a cherry pitter?  Do you ever get stuck on one food for a while? If so, what? 

Friday, January 13, 2012

Staring into the gates of hell........yeah it's the weekend.

Here I am. Friday is finally over. Glad it's the weekend. Today kinda sucked. First, I had to go to the DMV to get my license renewed. I would rather be anywhere but at the DMV. What a beating!  I waited for 45 min in the cold before I even got inside the building. Truly, the DMV is like staring straight into the gates of hell. One lady showed up with a folding chair, a big blanket on her lap and her knitting. People were laughing at her, but I was like, "Damn. I wish I'd thought of that." Thank goodness for my ipad as I read the whole time. Plus I did a lot of hopping around so I guess that will count as my workout today.

I had packed my gym bag thinking I'd go to the gym after, but 2.5 hours was a bit longer than I expected the wait to be. Unbelievably horrible place to work I would think. I tried to be pleasant despite the monotone and scowl I received at the desk.  It's not HER fault the line is so long and the building is so small after all. But, I'm thinking she could try to be a LITTLE friendly. I mean it's not like I wanted to be there either.  I was sure to give her a BIG grin and a "Have a GREAT day!" as I left. HA! I got to leave. She's there FOREVER.

After that I ventured to Academy to pick up some camping supplies for son.  How dare he keep outgrowing his thermals and water suit! And tell me WHY they have like 15 cash registers when they never, ever, ever,ever have more than 1 open? Why?

Then to Sam's. Sam's on a Friday buying crap for a family of 5........Sigh.....sucks......But I guess that counts for my upper body work out, eh?  On the bright side I did buy the latest Magic Tree House book. My girls LOVE these books. If you have young kids and don't have this series you MUST. It's really good and I'm not ashamed at all to admit that I enjoy reading them to my girls every night. Only thing is we're finally caught up. There are 47 of them. We are on the 46th. Almost finished it. I don't know what we'll read next. Any ideas? Maybe we'll start the Harry Potter Books. Has to be something that they will enjoy and that I will like also. My middle daughter has started these books called, "Dear Dumb Diary" and they are really funny, but she can read those herself so she has to read them to me for school. I need something that I can read to them that won't annoy me. I'm up for suggestions.

After Sam's I took the giant load 'o food home and unloaded. Grabbed some lunch and then headed to work.  Had a busy afternoon in our satellite clinic. And now I'm wrapping up to head home. Son has a camping trip with scouts this weekend in Arkansas. He is so excited. They'll be backpacking and hiking which sounds great until you realize it's freaking January. But, the boys love that shit. The colder the better.

Tomorrow my youngest has a play date in the afternoon so middle child and I will spend a little time just the two of us. Doesn't happen much. Husband and I want to see the new Mark Wahlberg movie. I love that guy. Maybe we'll get a chance tomorrow, but of course there's NFL playoffs which I must watch. Only hubbie isn't very interested. He's disgusted with the Cowboys. I agree, but still love me some football and I must get my fill before it's over until August.

Other than that the weekend will be spent relaxing. I might do a little gardening, need to do some weeding. Yes. We have weeds still. This is North Texas. It's supposed to be like 70 on Monday. My freaking pear tree is starting to bloom.  It always does this and then the ice comes and kills everything. Sigh....that's how it is. Better than snow all the time for damn sure.

Remember how I told you I got these really fluffy slippers for Christmas and I promised a picture? Well here it is. My youngest is wearing them. She LOVES em.
Now tell me they don't look like you shoved your foot in a small dog's butt!

Hope you all have a great weekend! So what are you all reading lately? Anything good? I love love love to read.  Do you read with your kids? The same books as your kids? I still share books with my mom all the time. Love it!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Where does the time go? And....Weigh in.....

Busy, busy, busy.  Sigh.........I suppose all my friends out there in blog land get sick of hearing how busy I am. I am quite frankly sick of being so busy, but I'm doing my best to keep up.  This week is zooming past which is fine. All the sooner for the weekend to arrive.

Here's the recap on my life:

Friday was my birthday. Happy Birthday to me!  It was a lovely day. I took the day off which makes any day better, but even more special when it's your birthday. I went to my girls' school and read to the class and had lunch with both girls although I didn't eat with them. 10:30 and 11:00am is too early for lunch for me. I did bring them the Subway lunch and the novelty alone is very exciting for them. After that, I headed to the mall. Now generally speaking I don't like the mall. It's loud. It's bright. It's crowded. So I take it in very small doses. I saw not one, but TWO movies all by myself and it was great. Some people don't like being alone. I relish time spent alone.

I saw the Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn Part 1.  I am a fan of the books, for the most part. I like a little more Vampire in my vampire movies. But I didn't care at all for this movie. Too much love sick kissy kissy teenagers for my liking. And I don't think they needed to split this into 2 films. Would've been better without stretching it out.  I also saw Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Man that was a good movie. My big mistake was that I had just started reading the book and it is a complicated story. There are parts of the movie that are very disturbing, but it is a fabulous mystery and I loved the movie. Only thing is that now I'm not sure I want to finish the book. Now I want to move on to the next one. That way I'll finish the book before the next movie is out. I wish I had gotten the advice from Al who left a comment and advised me to wait before I went, but alas too late. Anyway it was a really good movie. After the movies I shopped a bit and found some great buys at Nordstrom where I had a gift certificate. I love spending money when it's not my money. Grin. 
Pretty flowers office staff got me

We were supposed to go out Friday night, but my husband spent all last week in bed with a pinched nerve in his back. Instead we're going to try for this week. He's better but not healed. He surprised me by ordering pasta and pizza from our favorite Italian. Not exactly health food, but I ate a small amount. I didn't have cake, but I did have some chocolate covered strawberries which I see as almost health food. (kidding of course)

The rest of the weekend was spent being lazy. I did take down the Christmas paraphenalia. I'm always so glad when that chore is over. I took the kids to see The Muppet Movie on Sunday and the loved it. My youngest has been walking around acting like Animal since then. Too funny. Also singing the Mana-mana song constantly.  We did watch football as college gave it's last hurrah and NFL playoffs begin.

Monday I weighed in with a 2.8 pound loss. I was quite pleased but know I have a ways to go. I worked out Monday with my trainer and he kicked my but. And my quads. And my abs. After about 100 squats and 50 lunges and a lot of other stuff I am soooo sore!  Yesterday I went to TKD class despite knowing it would be painful.  And it was. We did kicking drills for 30 minutes straight. Ouchy! That was after the 150 crunches and push ups and other crap. I thought I was going to DIE. But, as usual I survived. It was a great workout. Today I am SUPER sore in the quads especially. Using the bathroom is particularly painful as getting down to toilet level and back up hurts a lot. Now keep in mind that I am drinking 120ounces plus of water each day and you can see where this is a REAL problem.  Needless to say, I am not doing much exercise today. I had planned to run, but HA I can barely stand to walk. Rest day it is. Maybe some stretching and such but that's it.
Me after working out with my trainer on Monday. The back of my shirt was drenched, but couldn't figure out how to take a picture of the back of me.  Burned nearly 700 calories.

I'm doing well on my diet this week but the scale has gone up. I'm assuming it's water shifts from all the exercise and I'm not going to panic. Staying the course, eating well, tracking and I'm exercising tomorrow for sure.

In the office we had a surprise departure of a long term employee who decided to move back home to Arizona. Sad to see her go, wish her the best and we're back to being shorthanded after only one week of being fully staffed. I hate hiring. Other than that the office is zooming along and busy with the cold and flu season upon us.  The kids are back to full swing at school and homework is buzzing, activities, and all the hub-bub that comes with school. It's exhausting, but it's so cool to see my youngest learn to read and my middle daughter is learning the joy of reading as well. She's started these books called Dear Dumb Diary and they are hilarious. I genuinely enjoy her reading to me from them. Reading is one of my very favorite things to do in the whole world. I love seeing my kids learn to love it also. My son retires nightly to read before bed. It makes me proud.

Today I'm wearing a new outfit I got at Nordstrom. I'm undecided on it. I like it, but maybe I'm just too sore to really like my body today. I had the damnedest time trying to get a picture of me to show you, but here goes. I'm wearing my long black boots. I was wishing I had gray ones, but haven't found any I like yet.  I've gotten lots of compliments, but I'm just not used to wearing clothes that show my body. The skirt is short, above the knee. Freaks me out a little

So what have you done so far this week to meet your goals?  How do you feel about wearing different styles as your weight changes?  Have you ever felt uncomfortable with your weight loss?

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Still Kicking and I have a weapon.

Yesterday was a successful day. After the morning donut fiasco, I was able to proceed with pretty much a normal day. I did go to the gym although I didn't want to. I hate going to the gym in January. For one thing, it's crowded. I know, I know....all those people need to get healthy too but still it is annoying. PLUS as a chunky chick going in to the gym in January people look at you and think you are just one more person with a resolution. But, I'm not. I've been working out at this gym a long time. I guess I'll just have to take comfort in the fact that the trainers all know me and so do the other regular types.

Food was good yesterday I ate healthy food. I did have a momentary brain fart when I took a bite of my kid's cookie when she shoved it in my face. Other than that, the water was ingested and pee was flowing. I did 40 min on the elliptical and it felt good to be back at it. I'm reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as my "gym book".  I have one I only allow when working out. It's really good so far. I'm thinking of seeing the movie on my day off tomorrow.

Today was good.  First day back at tae kwon do and it was difficult. I'll likely be sore from the 120 crunches and 15 push ups as well as all the kicking. It really is hard being away from it for 2 weeks. Getting back to it takes some time. You just use muscles doing those kicks you don't use doing anything else. But, it felt super good to work up a sweat and kick the crap outta something. Also, I now have a staff weapon. Oh yeah......it is so much fun and cool to learn the drills. I feel like such a bad ass.

I plan weigh in on Monday. The scale is going down so far this week. Feels really good to be back in the swing of what is now routine and my lifestyle.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I always take the day off and do something for me. I find myself reflecting back on the year and where I am now versus a year ago, two years. I'm overall happy with it. I'll post more on that later because I'm still mulling that deep thought business over. Plus I have to pick up the kids from TKD soon and I have a conference call in an hour. Ah.......the life of the working Mommy......

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


The alarm went off at 6:35am and by 6:44am I was finally opening my eyes and beginning to stretch when I hear it.  Crying. I looked at the clock again and decided that I would indeed be facing this day whether I wanted to or not. Sitting up in bed, I looked up to see my youngest child sniffling and crying. Ready to comfort her from a bad dream or mediate some sort of sibling dispute, I began to ask her what happened when out of her mouth came the statement, " I WANT A DOUGHNUT!"

Shocked and confused as to why the pursuit of a tasty sugared breakfast pastry would make a 6 year old sob, I asked calmly for her to repeat her statement. " I SAID....I WANT A DOUGHNUT." 

OK. This is a new one. I have not in 14 years of being a parent ever been roused from bed by a crying child demanding pastry. I have no idea where she got the idea that I had a doughnut to give her in my bed. Perhaps she thought I have a secret stash under my pillow?  After explaining that I do NOT, in fact, posess such a treasure and that if I did I certainly would not deny anyone in such a state of distress, I asked her why in the world she wanted a doughnut.

Apparently 6:47am is not the time for a 6 year old to articulate the rationale for anything as the question made her bawl harder and frankly she became down right angry.  "Because they are GOOD! And I REALLY WANT ONE." 

Well.....it's hard to argue with such logic and I certainly wasn't going to win any debates without coffee. I tried the old standby....distraction.  "Why don't you go watch some TV? I'm so glad you are up early and you even got all dressed. OH I like your new sweater. Isn't it nice? The one Nana got you for Christmas.  Since you were so good at getting dressed, I'll let you watch TV while I shower."

This seemed to confuse her a bit. Mission accomplished. She was only sniffling now and cast a glance at me that said, I  KNOW what you're doing. But....I really want to watch my show. (generally TV in the morning is NOT allowed in my house)  Somewhat reluctantly, she headed off to the living room.  Another parental crisis averted.

Feeling quite impressed with myself and my incredibly intelligent and skilled parenting expertise, I headed off to shower and dress. Fifteen minutes later I emerged clean and dressed and mostly just ready for coffee.  She was sitting on the sofa happily watching some cartoon on PBS, still red eyed from crying, but calm.  My middle daughter had now joined her and was pleased to see the TV on.  I asked the question thinking that it was now safe. "What do you guys want for breakfast?"

Suddenly it was clear to me that my expertise in parenting was not nearly as refined as I had thought. If I had thought that moment through, I would have just quietly gone to the kitchen and prepared her favorite oatmeal. It probably would have done the trick. But, the question.......that question was at once a trigger for what I can only describe as a meltdown.

She looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. Obviuosly she'd been quite clear in her requests for breakfast foods that morning. What the heck was wrong with mom anyway? Had she forgotten English? Did she not KNOW what a doughnut was? WHY is it so hard to understand?  Doughnuts are good. I like them. I want one. And I want it NOW.

Of course none of the above was articulated, but CLEARLY it was implied by the crying and sobbing and chanting of "I want a doughnut. PLEASE I want a doughnut, Mommy." 

I calmly sat down next to her on the sofa. I looked lovingly into her eyes and took her into my arms. I told her how much I understood that doughnuts are yummy. I also explained that they are not good for our bodies and they are for special occasions. Today was a Wednesday like any other and did not warrant such recognition.  To this she responded that to HER it was a special day because for HER it was ART day and ART day is SPECIAL!

Alright. Right about now, I've had just about enough of the logical parent tactic. Didn't seem to be working anyway. Time for phase 2: The because I said so.

I told her she was NOT getting a doughnut.  I reminded her that we do NOT eat doughnuts regularly in this house. I can count on one hand the number of times in the last year this child had doughnuts for breakfast. I explained that there is no such thing as a pastry deficiency and that nobody NEEDS a doughnut. Our body needs healthy nutritious food and by God, she was going to have a HEALTHY breakfast before school.

I am happy to say that she seemed to recognize her defeat. She was contemplating all of this and seemed to accept it. We decided  on oatmeal and orange juice. Mission accomplished.  And then.....

"Mommy.  Can I have hot chocolate?"


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Here's to Not Sucking....One Moment at a Time

First post of 2012! Finally!  I had a very fun and busy New Year weekend. No time to post. I was using all my time to enjoy my BFF's visit and my family. We realized that this was the 12th year we've spent New Year's together!  It is a tradition that I've come to cherish.

On Friday, hubbie, BFF, and I spent the day shopping. We saw a movie-Mission Impossible, which was great. Then we had lunch at a cute and great restaurant and the weather was so good, we sat out on the patio enjoying the sun!  We had a long leisurely lunch and spent time catching up. It was a wonderful day.  That night we headed home, watched movies with the kids and then the OU bowl game on TV. OU won their game. Whew. I was worried with all the injuries.

Saturday, New Year's Eve, I planned a big dinner and invited a couple of friends over. I slow roasted a prime rib and served it with a tasty salad and roasted potatoes. OH and we had crab cakes for appetizer. It was sooooo tasty and awesome.  I had a few drinks. I did not count calories, but I did try to keep my portions reasonable. We spent the evening watching TV, laughing and playing board games while the kids played. It was just a great time. We stayed up very late (early?) and I didn't go to sleep until around 3:30am!

Sunday was a sleep in and lazy day. We always do our Christmas gifts on New Years day. Usually while watching the Rose Parade, but of course it wasn't on until Monday this year. Boo.  Anyway, the kids were happy and we had yet another round of gift mess to clean up.  I cooked a ham and black eyed peas for dinner so now I can buy that lottery ticket, good luck and all that. I watched only part of the horror that was the Cowboys loss. Yucky.  On a much brighter note, we did watch The Help which was a very good movie.

Yesterday I cooked a big breakfast-eggs, bacon, toast for everyone. Pancakes for the kids. We ate late and then spent the morning relaxing and watching the Rose Bowl parade. I love that parade! BFF and kids left back for Oklahoma in the afternoon. I ran a few errands with the kiddos and found the stores much too crowded so I high tailed it back home after only 2 stops. Wal-Mart is......tiring.  Then the rest of yesterday was spent watching football and eating left overs, preparing for school to resume. I did not do one bit of Christmas take down. I just wasn't in the mood.

This morning was surprisingly uneventful for a back to school morning. All the kids were up and dressed on time. I was so happy right up until my little one got mad that she couldn't get her coat zipped and threw her backpack and lunch bag on the floor. She then proceeded to throw an outright crying fit and refused to get up when time to get in the car. I told her that she'd probably be ok there by herself and wished her luck for the day. This resulted in a very sour, pouty expression, but she was in the car soon after and we even made it through carpool on time.

OH and I forgot. Apparently my son has no coat that fits. How does this happen every freaking year? I swear I'm a loser Mommy. Every year one or the other of my children has no cold weather clothes and I have to run that day to the store to buy some. This year it was my son. The temp this morning was 23 degrees which is COLD for north Texas.  His coat wouldn't fit and Daddy's old one was too big. Soooo he went to school with 2 hoodies. Styling by any 14 year old's standard.  Guess where I was at lunch today? Buying a coat. Which is fine because I got him a nice leather jacket on clearance for $40!

Of course I planned on going to TKD and I woould have if it hadn't been for the continuous stream of patients in the office today. I hate post holiday catch ups.  Plus there is the first of the year change in insurance, need new prescriptions for the new pharmacy, I have a deductible, I don't know if my new insurance covers it, chaos that happens like clockwork in a primary care docs office come Jan 1.  Not to mention the weather change.  All of that combined makes the office nutso.

I weighed this morning. I've gained 16 pounds. Whoa. Typing that number made it real. I knew I'd gained 10 after the cruise and until the last 2 weeks, I was doing fine, maintaining. But, last week when I got the bronchitis I was put back on steroids. Of course that is no excuse, but I'm puffy and swollen and a carb craving machine on that crap. Add holiday treats and fun and it's a recipe for disaster. Luckily I'm on the down hill end and will be off them again soon.

Today, I've eaten well. Drank all my water and tracked my food in LoseIt. I have peed a million times today because I hadn't been drinking all my water lately, but I already feel better. The water makes a huge difference!  I'm hopeful that I can get in some exercise tonight, even if it's a quick walk. 

I am pleasantly surprised to be in a good mood. I  am usually starting to feel my winter blues come on this time of year. Maybe it's because we've had a lot of sunshine?  Maybe it's the glow of prednisone? I don't know, but I'll take it. I feel ready to take back control on my diet. Ready to get back to work toward my goal. I don't do resolutions, but I did see one I really liked and have decided I can do.  Helen over at Doing a 180 had a great post and I've decided to steal her resolution.

In 2012 I don't want to suck.

It may seem silly, but when I saw this I totally got it. I want to be the best me I can be. As long as I'm on my way to that goal every day, I will not suck in 2012. As long as I keep my focus I know I can do it.  I've been reading a lot of blogs. There are a lot of old friends returning to blog-world after an absence. Glad to have you back if you've been gone a bit. 

Just remember this......in a few weeks when the initial inertia has worn down from your New Year's new leaf and you are starting to slide, make a few bad choices.......remember that you can do this. Try to bottle that feeling of motivation you have now and really savor it so that later you can remember how good you feel right now. Focused on your goal. Putting all you effort into getting where you want to be. Feeling confident that this time is for good. Then when you have that I-can't-do-this moment you can get past it. And that's really all it takes to be successful. Getting past that moment when you want to quit.

I hope all of you are finding the New Year treating you well. What are you doing differently to keep you successful lately? How is your New Year so far?

Progress to TouchDown and GOALLLL!!