1. My surgery is officially scheduled for Friday the 17th. Is it weird that I'm looking forward to it? Not just because I'll be able to breathe, but also because I'll have 3 days of rest? As a working Mom it is so rare to have down time where nothing is expected of me. Where there's a rule not to bother Mommy. I can watch what I want on TV, sleep when I want, and even not get out of bed if I want. Sad but true. The surgery is old hat to me. This is the 4th time. Usually I have a really sore throat for a couple of days and I'm really tired, but then it's good. Should be a piece of cake when compared to my gallbladder last year.
2. I ate a lot of carbs yesterday. Seriously these steroids are driving me insane. Absolutely everything tastes like crap except crackers, toast and chicken noodle soup. Sigh..... Plus I think my stomach is starting to hate them. I'm having a lot of stomach pain like when I had an ulcer before. Sigh...For now I'm doing the best I can. This morning I hate an incredible urge to drive thru Whataburger and get a nice big sticky Cinnamon roll covered with icing. I really wanted to. Bad. But, I didn't. I ate an apple instead. Not the same, but crisis adverted.
3. I went to Taekwondo class yesterday and it was not pleasant. I so so so so so want to be able to work out! The doctor said I could do what I can tolerate. I went to class and found out it's not much. I almost walked out during the warm up, but I hung in there. I made it through crunches and push ups, but the kicking drills were a bear. I kept getting winded and dizzy with the turning kicks so I had to just stand there and breathe. It's just so frustrating. I made it through class and then went home and collapsed so I don't know how much working out I'll be able to do between now and my surgery. We'll see. I will say it felt good to sweat and that I haven't forgotten everything. It's amazing how much your body remembers. I just worry that I'll end up back where I was. I don't want that, and I KNOW I won't, but it still worries me.
4. Why is it that 30 seconds before it is time to get in the car my daughter's dental hygiene suddenly becomes her top priority? I mean she has all morning, plenty of time to brush her teeth and every day she waits until the last minute and wants to spend time admiring her teeth and brushing and flossing and rinsing! Today I told her she had to go RIGHT then or walk to school. She started crying and said, "BUT I don't want CAVITIES! My teeth are important. You SAID so!" Great.....so ME being the wonderful parent told her I didn't care if all her teeth fell out, she wasn't going to make us late. Then she started HOWLING that I didn't care if she had teeth. Sigh.....In the car we had a long discussion about time management.
5. It's never good when you ask your 6 year old how school was and they answer, "Well.......it was....OK. No. No. I mean....great. I had a really great day." Mommy alarms, warning bells, full on defcon 3 alerts go off. So I said, "What does THAT mean, exactly? Did you get in trouble?" Her: Seriously mom, I don't think I have the energy to get into it right now. Let's just say I did something, it's over and that's it. Me: breathing deep, counting to ten Her: OK so I was playing outside on the playground and this boy was chasing me and annoying me and I kinda...like...round-housed him. Me: So you kicked him? Her: Just a little. But then he left me alone. The teacher didn't see, but she told us both to be nice, so now I'll be nice if he is. The moral of this story is that parenting is challenging and sometimes it's really hard not to laugh.
6. Sometimes it's really hard not to think, "What's the point?" I'm having that thought a lot right now and it's not something I'm proud of. I am just frustrated with these steroids. I am bloated and I've gained weight and I can't workout and it's so easy just to think, "What's the point?" And then.....my rational brain kicks in and says to me: The POINT, you idiot, is that being healthy is NOT something you can do just when things are easy. There will be times when you're sick, down, irritable, stressed. There will be times when you cannot workout or you're hurt or you're busy. You can't pick and choose when it is convenient to live a healthy lifestyle. THAT'S the whole POINT, isn't it? That this is NOT a program or a diet. It's not something you'll do until goal and then be normal. The POINT is that IF you mean what you keep saying and this is for LIFE then, guess what? IT'S for ALL of your life. So suck it up. No one is perfect. Do the best you can. But, do NOT make excuses. Lot's of people have it worse than you.
OK that's all my randomness today. Hope you are enjoying your week!