Hello all. I've been trying all day to get a few minutes to post, but to no avail. Busy Monday as usual and I'm still not done with my work, but I put it on hold to get this done.
Saturday was a very long day. I went with my son's band to Six Flags. It was a LOT of walking (over 16,000 steps) and some fun. It was a huge challenge to find a way to eat there. Did you know there is no where you can buy milk there? And did you know that they check your bag and make you throw out any food? So my plan for eating didn't work out as planned. I did work around it and I ended the day basically on plan.
Can I say how good it felt not to even worry I might not fit? I'm under 200 now. There are LOTS of people that weigh more than me and are able to ride these rides. I didn't have to even THINK about not fitting in the seat. Did you also know that now along with the warning about heart disease and pregnant women they've added a disclaimer that if you DON'T fit securely in the restraint that you'll be asked to leave the ride? Like they have to tell you that if the seat belt won't fit, you can't ride. Who wants to? I found that somewhat sad. And it reminded me of a time when I might have had to push to get that little bar down securely over my belly. The ride home on the bus with an entire busload of kids hopped up on sugar and a long day of fun was miserable and I had a massive migraine by the time I got home. I ate and went to bed.
Sunday I was tired and I ate breakfast and ended up napping most of the morning on the sofa. In the afternoon I got busy with some housework beginning with helping my husband remove 2 birds which had gotten stuck in the exhaust fan in our kitchen. Apparently they had built a nest in the vent and managed to crawl back in the duct and slide down the vertical tube and get stuck. We got them out, but they were dead by that time and we felt terrible. They were infant birds, I guess abandoned by their parents. One of them made it and flew away. I hope he's OK.
After that trauma for everyone, we spent the rest of the day planting some flowers and mulching (about 12 bags) the flower beds. That's a nice workout! I ate on plan yesterday and I was pleased with my weekend eating for the most part. I stayed on plan and that is a victory for me. Weekends are really, really hard usually.
I woke this morning excited about weighing in. I weighed 194 today, yesterday it was 193, but I'll take 194. That's a five pound loss for the week! I feel so committed and renewed. I feel like the last week as hard as it has re-dedicated me to my mission. Also this puts me at 80 pounds lost from my highest weight. VERY HAPPY! I was excited to see how well all the other challengers did as well.
I was tired today and in no mood to exercise, but I kept my appointment with my trainer as I had planned. For one thing I couldn't think of an excuse that wouldn't sound like an excuse. For another, I'd postponed already due to other schedule problems. I forced myself to the gym as planned. I did 25 minutes on the elliptical. Man! You really forget how hard that is when you've been off it a while.
After that I got started with my trainer. We did back and legs today and core work as well. That included 40 push ups on the bosu. 30 sit ups and numerous other things including weights and squats and bands that I can't recount now. There are days when you feel like you've KILLED a workout. And others when you feel like the workout KILLED you. And finally there are days where you did it even when you didn't want to, and when it's over you're just relieved to put it behind you. That was my workout today. It didn't kill me, but it wasn't a breeze and I didn't feel victorious afterward. The victory I'll take is that I went despite my desire to avoid it.
And dinner was..........wonderful! Actual food. Sooooo good. I had the grilled shrimp and veggies and I was so full! I was thrilled to have food and I enjoyed every single bite. I just had my evening snack/dessert of jello and frozen treat, both sugar free of course.
I'm finding myself looking ahead again to where I'll be 10 pounds, 20, 50 pounds from now. That's not something I've done in a while. I think I've been in a slump. My weight loss showed it. And now I see myself moving forward again and that's motivating. I love that I've been able to stick to this very restrictive plan, but I love that I see the end to that someday.
This has gotten me thinking about goals and "goal weight" and what that means. I'm still not sure. I know where I need to be to be "NORMAL" as far as the charts go. I have no concept of a weight that low, BUT it's not outside the range of possibility now. I need to lose about 60 more pounds to have a normal BMI. Sixty sounds like a LOT,but it means that I have less weight to lose now than I have already lost. I'm more than 1/2 way there. That's really exciting. Scary, but exciting.
For now, my goals are simple. Stay on plan and move. I've found that if I do those 2 things, I lose weight and I feel good. Of course not all my goals have to do with the scale. I'd like to be able to run more. I'd like to be able to continue up in rank in TKD. I'd like to look in the mirror and see ME as I imagine myself. I like to look in the mirror and see "normal". I don't yet know what that means, but I'm starting to believe that I can and will someday.
And now, I can no longer avoid my work. So, I'll sign off for now. Have you set goals? Do you have a goal weight? How is your progress toward your goals? Is it where you want it to be? If not what changes are you planning to get it back on track?
This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.