Disclaimer

This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Monday, January 3, 2011

The New Year? Can't wait.

You might be wondering where I've been. Well, I've been enjoying my New Year and visit with my BFF and her kids.  I haven't disappeared. I haven't given up. I have been eating too much and therefore I gained a pound for my weigh in on Allan's much more rigorous and strict challenge.  I guess we asked for it and we'll all thank him later, right?

We spent last week hanging out with the kids and just relaxing. And football. Of course a TON of football. Which I love, naturally. My BFF and I had one day of fun. We went to the gym, worked out. Then went to a movie, then shopping and finished with a massage. It was great. We took the kids to see Tangled one day and it was super cute and funny. The kids loved it. All of them, boys too. Can't wait for it to be out on DVD.

New Year's Eve was spent at home as usual. Playing games with the kids, watching movies and football. It was low key and enjoyable. We had taco salad and margaritas. On Saturday we had black eyed peas, of course, and finger foods which is probably where I got the extra pound from. Sunday I spent putting all my Christmas decorations away, inside and out, which is way ahead for me as I usually end up waiting until after my birthday which is Thursday.

So I spent very little time on-line the last few days and that means my reader is FULL!  Nearly 300 posts! Holy crapola. So as I try and catch up over the next day or two, don't be surprised if you don't hear from me on comments. I'm here and I'll be reading and thinking of you.

I'm not a huge fan of resolutions. They just don't seem to EVER end up done. And then the next year you sit around saying, "THIS year will be different." And it never is. So screw that. I'm going to just forge ahead and keep setting my short term goals, doing what I know needs to be done and the rest seems to fall in line.

I spent some time reflecting over the last few days. I am amazed at what I've learned over the last 9 months.  And I'm amazed that this shit I knew all along. Which is more than a little irritating in one way, and yet satisfying that all that shit I learned in school is true.

Things I've learned in 2010:

1.  I CAN!  I had really convinced myself that I was genetically predestined to be fat. All my relatives are fat. All of them. I had "tried" in the past and was never successful. By just trying,REALLY trying,  I've learned all of that is bullshit. I CAN! And this applies to so many parts of my life. I CAN exercise. I CAN eat well on low calories. I CAN go out to dinner and stay on plan. I CAN make it through holidays and birthdays and vacations without blowing it.

2.  I REALLY like feeling good:  Before I thought I felt good. But, I was always tired. Always dehydrated. Always hungry and never hungry. Always achy. Always short of breath. I have discovered I don't have to be that way and I really like how I feel now. I thought it was the stress I'm always under. I thought it was just me. But, now I know it was the fact that I was fat and never moved. I know. Newsflash.

3. There really is NO EXCUSE:  I realized how many I made for myself in any given day. I realized there really is no excuse for not doing what I've always know I should. I am NOT too tired. I am NOT too busy. I am NOT too sick. I am NOT too fat. I am NOT too stressed. I am NOT.  There really is no excuse for not exercising. And I was NOT eating healthy. I was NOT eating ok. I was NOT. I was fooling myself. Everyday. I said things to myself like, "I really don't eat THAT much." Bullshit. There is no such thing as "a little bite" , "small taste", "just this once".  There is not a better time. There will always be another event, birthday, holiday, meeting, weekend trip, vacation. There will always be SOMETHING I can use as an excuse if I let myself. I really hate that kind of talk now. There really is no excuse.

4. I have the power:  Whether or not I achieve my goals rests firmly in my hands. I am the only one who can make the choices. I have the power to eat right and exercise. There is no reason that I can't get what I want. I have the power. I never really believed this before now.

5. This time is different:  People are always blogging about their mojo or spark or switch or whatever the hell it was that got them going. I don't know how to explain this. If you haven't felt it, you have no idea why you haven't or how to get it. All I can say is I knew. I KNEW like I have never known before that this time I was doing it. Some of it happened because I started calling myself on the bullshit. I knew I HAVE to do this for my health. It is LIVE OR DIE.  For some reason this time I felt that more than ever before. Maybe it was turning 40. Maybe it was having 3 active kids. But, I knew. And those of you who have felt this know what I mean. This time is just different. 

And so I'll be more than excited to see what I can learn over the next year as I forge ahead. Of course there are things I want to improve on, do better, do less of, do more of, and just plain change. What I have figured out over the last 9 months is that when I am focused on my health and improving myself, a lot of that other stuff is better. I am more focused at work. I am more organized at home. I am less irritable and pleasant.  I curse less. Well....OK, so there are things that take a little more effort for me.  But, overall, I'm just plain happier when I am eating right and exercising. It's not all about the numbers on the scale, but that sure helps. 

Now that I've proven to myself that what I've always known is TRUE, I'm never going back to that place where I lie to myself and fool myself into thinking I am powerless.  I am never letting food take control over me again. I will never be emotionally tied to food or at least I will strive to break what remains of those ties with time. 

And it IS as easy as all those experts said. EAT LESS, MOVE MORE...... MAN! Those words used to piss me off. Set me into a spiral of self loathing. How true they were! Tracking my food and exercising got me here, nearly 50 pounds lighter, 41 inches lost, and from a size 24 to a size 14.  There was no program. No pill. No appetite suppressant, no diet supplement. No special food or cookies or bars or shakes. No surgery. Nothing  but.....ME.

Me and my bloggy friends. I am so glad to have found this community. I appreciate the support I get from all of you. Knowing you are out there reading what I write keeps me accountable and that is so helpful. I have made some friends here and I am glad. It's weird that most of you know more about me than many others in my life. Weird in a really cool way.  But, to be honest, you only know what I tell you. And if I hadn't found this community, I think I would be doing what I'm doing. I hope so. But, MAN does reading all your blogs help me. It makes it so much more tolerable knowing you are all going through or been through what I'm going through. So thank you. Those I know well and those I don't. Thanks to all of you.

Now I'll say a word to those who are just starting out. I know you are out there. Lurking. You've made yet another resolution to lose weight. Whether you have a few pounds or a lot to lose you are probably gung ho. Excited. Motivated. You are 3 days in and it doesn't seem that hard so far. Maybe you've even lost a pound or two. I say to you: Great job! I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you are starting out. We all start somewhere. But, I'll say this: I'll be here in a week or two or three when you hit that wall. When you get stressed at work or home. When you have that birthday party to contend with. When you feel like giving it up, come back and see me. I've been where you are.  You can do this. You CAN. The only thing you need is YOU.

13 comments:

  1. Love your list and your attitude! Yep, this community is amazing. Can't wait to read your post a year from now:)

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  2. Amen, Dr Fit! I love this post.

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  3. I love this post. So much about it. I, too, don't like resolutions, I feel like they set me up for failure.
    The rest of the post, wow!, I told you that you remind me of me, but this post is me on the other side. It's kind of cool to see, actually.
    How did you KNOW this was the time?
    I want that..I want it, but I need to want it badly enough I say sitting at my desk popping out of my fat jeans.
    And, your last paragraph: PERFECT! You know I'll be there.
    Happy New Year, and I am glad you are feeling better (from the sickies last week)

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  4. I love it! I was reading along and thought this will be me. A year from now I will be writing a similar post. Then I got to the last paragraph and you were talking to the me that is, not just the me that will be. I started three days ago and I am full of motivation and desire. I will be back in a few weeks when I hit that first wall and I am telling myself that I will be back in a year to celebrate a year of success for both of us!

    andi @ http://questforayummylife.blogspot.com/

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  5. Who are you ? Sounds interesting

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  6. Reading blogs held allot, for me it keeps perspective sharper. But oh so true is the point that all you need is YOU! Believe in yourself & it happens, if it ain't happening then I'd say you really don't believe.

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  7. Eat less, move more: Marion Nestle would kiss you for believing it in, too. It is easy. So Frickin' easy it is ridiculous. Love your resolve. I am with you on all of it. Happy New Year!

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  8. I love this post, but hey, that is par for the course for your posts.

    I love the excuse paragraph, because, well I did that! There was always a reason, ALWAYS! I love the part about the spark, and how that is the thing that if you haven't had it, you don't know about. And this time is that time that you know is the one, I feel that one too. I am so into this post. I look forward to seeing you succeeding in 2011 too Doc! And keep an eye in my direction too, say around February hopefully I will have a huge announcement!

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  9. What a fabulous year you have had! I love your blog and will continue to read your every post! Happy New Year--and take care...

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  10. You learned a lot of good things about yourself this past year!

    I don't make resolutions. I prefer to make goals, work at creating new healthy habits and keep improving my life.

    Wishing you all the best this year!

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  11. You work so hard and are always so busy with your kids - I am really glad that you got some good downtime with you BFF (and you were busy with her, but I know that busy - it's different and FUN!).

    Your list? Loved number 2 - who knew that feeling so good would, well, FEEL SO GOOD?!? Amazing how doing the right things for our bodies makes such a huge difference in everything.

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  12. This time is different for me too doc, and I don't know (or question too closely) why that is, but i honestly believe that the blogging and getting/giving feedback is the major factor in getting my head into the right place where it needed to be to stay the course. Without it, I wouldn't be at Day 128 right now.

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Progress to TouchDown and GOALLLL!!