This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Much Better! and Give me some support!

Today I woke up late. I over slept. My husband is out of town and my routine is totally screwed up.  My ankle is so much better. Only a little soreness if I turn it a certain way.  My legs aren't as sore and things are much better.

I missed TKD today because the office was swamped and I didn't make it there. So I didn't get my workout as planned. But, I really think that was good because now I feel much better and I can resume running for sure in the morning.

Food today was good. I still haven't had any appetite  . I think I'm just too busy. I don't know as it is foreign to me. I'm just not used to not caring whether I eat or not.  I ate a little over 1000cals today and that's all I wanted.

I wish I had something inspiring to say today, but all I can say is not every day is amazing. Some days are just days. The key to all this is being consistent. Day after day after day. Eating right and keeping up with the water.  Moving more everyday.

More and more people are noticing my weight loss. This is so wonderful, but a mixed bag. I'm just not used to the attention it brings. I am flattered by the compliments and they don't bother me as much. But, the whole, "what are you doing" conversation and all the unwanted advice. If I'm the one losing weight, why are people trying to tell me how to lose weight?

My clothes are frustrating me right now.  Most of them are too big. Yeah! Not complaining, but it does mean that getting dressed takes longer than it used to. I have more choices and some of the things I still feel like should fit ok, don't. I think I'm between sizes as some things I've bought in smaller sizes are just not quite comfortable yet.  I spend time trying things on and tossing them in the donate pile. The other day I came home and pulled off the shirt I had worn and tossed it straight in. Somebody's gonna be happy to get my old clothes.  I noticed today that the size 14 pants from Lane Bryant are too big. I got a  couple of pairs of jeans in the "normal" section in size 14. They fit great.

I was reading Allan's blog today and he mentioned how he's trying to adjust to smaller clothes and the larger ones are more comfortable. I know what he means. I have a couple of sweatshirts and other clothes that I continue to wear despite how big they are. My scrubs for one. I'm still wearing 2X. But, I ordered new ones this week. It is just strange to think about clothes that aren't baggy. When I was bigger I've always felt weird if clothes felt too tight. My rolls would show, my muffin top, my cellulite. Having clothes that touch my body is weird.

OH! And it's official. The girls have shrunk. I'm down a whole cup size. I realized that it seems like over night my bras were way too big. They were loose and like spinning almost when I move. I mean it was literally over night it seems like. One day they fit and the next, too big.  Luckily I had bought a couple on clearance in anticipation. I tried them and they fit. Also, the wonderful sports bras I've been using are too big. Great. Those things are not cheap. I did get a new one the other day on sale at the running store. This makes me wonder what size I'll be at goal. Weird.  I've always had big boobs.

I've always wished for smaller ones. It was just another reason to be different. I was wearing a bra in 5th grade and I remember the boys snapping my bra all the time and laughing. It was great fodder for the humiliation machine. As I got older, I realized they weren't such a bad thing to have. That negative attention from boys in 5th grade was very different by college.

The guys won't understand, but the quest for the perfect bra, the holy grail of womanhood, is an ongoing thing for all of us, no matter the size. It is especially important now in my 40s and with all the running and Tae Kwon Do, it is absolutely essential. I found a couple of excellent ones, but they are so expensive and if my size is gong to change more, this could get to be a drag. OH well. At least I'm shrinking and not getting bigger!

Anyway, adjusting to my new size seems to be a daily thing. I guess while I'm transforming that's how it will be. I was driving today when something caught my eye. I looked down and ......there was a triceps. Woo hoo. I do have one. Starting to see more definition, but also more hanging skin. I don't care, The scale is moving and so am I. That's what I'm after.


  1. Apart from the bra stuff, I totally get this post! I have been slowly but surely weeding out my closet too. I am actually in a little trouble for buying clothes in every size from 2X on down during all this since I now own like 7 or 8 shirts and pants I cant wear cause they are huge and I bought them over the course of the last 5 months or so. I also loved the part about you noticing your triceps. I have had a few great mirror experiences too where I noticed my biceps, though it ain't big, is now defined, I can see my shoulder muscles now when I am running, my thighs look amazing.... wow am I a narcissist or what? haha. Great to read about your progress Doc and glad to see you are on track and gaining momentum during the transition from winter to spring. it will be great to have the warmer weather to get things headed quickly in the right direction wont it? Just think, it is most likely next winter will be much easier on us as it will me us maintaining rather than trying to lose!!

  2. I feel your pain on having to buy new bras, but considering how often you wear them, the price-per-wear turns out to be pennies. I balk at the cost, too - wonder why? I can (and do) spend $100 on a pair of running shoes, but a $50 sports bra makes me wince! Crazy.

    Oh! I had the same thing happen when my weight loss became hard to ignore - you said it so well - why, when you are obviously having success, do people tell you how to lose weight?!? So crazy.

    Glad your ankle is getting better - your poor body has been beat up lately! BTW, the tricep? AWESOME!!!

  3. My girls are tiny. Tiny. Bra shopping is a nightmare. Mostly, I just go without. Shhh! Don't tell.

  4. "Having clothes that touch my body is weird." Don't think I have ever related more strongly to a blog sentence.

    I'm doing whatever I can to stay in touch with my body as it changes 'cause the last time I lost a significant amount of weight, I never felt like I "fit", never got accustomed to people commenting on the new me, couldn't stand the attention. This time it is/will be different.

  5. I bought 2 nice new bras in November, and if I lose these last few pounds, I can see I'm going to have to do it again. That's fine, as I'm tired of carrying these girls around and them wanting to bounce all over the place.

    Yeah, the muffin top. Got to get to work on that. Honestly, it's my last big challenge, other than getting firmer here and there.

  6. I would give anything for a perfectly fitting bra! While I was deep in weight loss mode I went through 5 or 6 and it was the same thing. The would fit OK and then overnight.. swimming in the cups. I've gone from a D down to a B. I spent a lot of time trying to find a great sports bra.. I ended up with the "band-aid" fruit of the loom type. No cups, just a tiny band of fabric to smoosh my deflated boobs into. It's actually been the best since it will fit no matter if I gain or loose a little since there are no cup sizes to deal with. I just have a hard time dealing with the fact that I used to actually have big boobs and now I'm down in essentially a training bra lol. I don't miss that extra 20 lbs of weight on my chest, that's for sure!

    I have gotten rid of all my fat clothes - except for one pair of my largest pair of pants which I will keep forever to remind myself. As soon as I shrunk out of my clothes I gave them to a friend. I wanted to be sure that if I gained any weight back that it would be particularly painful, financially and mentally for me to go buy larger sizes.

  7. I just did the whole new bra saga a few weeks ago! It was more than time. I couldn't believe when the girl came back with size 38 bras. I was like really? are you sure? I didn't change cup though. I guess all the skin was more than enough to account for the extra fat lossage! So that stayed the same and personally I am grateful. I would miss my girls.

  8. You are all together shrinking!I know what you mean about the bars and the shrinking girls. Like Oprah say: having a good fitting bar is very important; most of us don't have one.

    Glad your foot is better. Enjoy your weekend!

  9. Bra hunting is frustrating... re: sports bras - I've heard good things about the Enell.

  10. "If I'm the one losing weight, why are people trying to tell me how to lose weight?"....this is something I have noticed too, what's with that?

    I like to hear stories about shrinking clothes sizes and this kinda feedback is even more positive than seeing a loss on the scales or on a tape measure....it's just so much more tangible.

    I can't comment on the bra-problem but I can say that finding the perfect, ahem, support in a pair of underwear for use while running is also not that easy. :o)

  11. Yeppers...the girls went first for me, from a DDD to a D, but now they're swimming, and it's time to go down another size. *sigh*

    Enell bras for exercise - LOVE THEM! Worth every penny. Available at Ft Worth Running company locally.


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