Long long long day yesterday. After my post last night, I headed over to the long and boring Board Meeting. I didn't get home until 11pm. That's right, 4 hours of financial reports and quality measures and capital improvement budgets and.....there's a reason I'm not a MBA people. Icky!
Anyway, before the meeting I decided to go ahead and eat. I had to grab something and I keep emergency food in the office. I had a healthy choice dinner (sorry Allan, but sometimes it's gotta be done). I also drank about 1/2 a diet Mt Dew. I arrived at the meeting to find dinner-some kind of greek, stuffed chicken with a pasta on the side and roasted cauliflower. And dessert-some kind of chocolate cookie bars. The thing is, I wasn't hungry. On the way to the meeting I had 32 oz glass of water. I was full. I had calories in the budget, but I was full. It looked tasty and not too bad health wise, but I was full. Then I thought, "I could have the cauliflower. It's roasted, no sauce, no butter." But I was full. So why eat then?
During the meeting I started to freeze. I get cold so easy these days. I decided, why not a cup of coffee? So I had one, a small one. Oh! And did I forget to mention the excedrin migraine I took yesterday afternoon? The point of all that is to say that I had major caffeine overload last night. I didn't get to sleep until 3am. THREE! My fault. I know better. I'm a doctor, right?
But, here's the deal. I used to do stuff like that and no problem. Back when I was constantly shoveling Coke and tea and coffee and diet drinks, all caffeinated down my throat, I could drink a cup of "real" coffee and go right to sleep. And I'm not talking that long ago. But nowadays I drink almost exclusively water. Of course I do. How the heck can I get all that in otherwise? But, my body is just not used to all that caffeine now I guess. I have my coffee in the am and that's it. Kinda makes me think about what kind of drug-induced haze (caffeine is a drug to your brain, don't forget it.) I was walking around in for years. YEARS.
My Coke addiction has honestly been one of the hardest things for me to break. And addiction it is. Even now after giving them up ages ago, I crave them. I see the can and I taste it. If I have even a little, I want more. It started in high school and all those years I just guzzled that crap. Even when I switched to diet, it wasn't the same, but still I wanted more and more. I see what a carb roller coast that put me in. Glad I'm off it now. I have a diet drink maybe 1-2 times a week, maybe. My coffee.....I love. 16oz in the am, splenda and light creamer. Not quitting it. But the rest I'm kinda glad I'm over.
Today's been good considering I didn't sleep. Being up that late led to extra water intake. I just kept drinking. No idea the total for yesterday. In the past these late night episodes would result in "the fourth meal". Isn't that Taco Bell's slogan? But, this time, I wasn't hungry and even though I could've eaten, I didn't need to.
I went to TKD today at lunch. Can I say that my pectoral muscles hurt soooo bad today? Achy achy. No matter what position I'm in. Kinda sucks until I realize it is proof of my push ups and planks and hard work at TKD. I learned a new kick today, the turning hook kick. I asked my black belt instructor, helper today if the dizziness from the constant spinning gets better. She's older than me and she said emphatically, "No." I told her thanks and that I'd adjust my expectations. Ha ha. She said you learn to work around it. I hope so.
A new man joined our class today. He is quite heavy. I saw him standing there in his white belt and I knew how he felt. Excited, scared, nervous, apprehensive. The heaviest person in the room. I've been there many times. I went up introduced myself and told him I was glad he was there and that he was gonna love it. Told him not to worry, the instructors are great and don't go too fast. He seemed to visibly release all this tension. At the end I could tell he was so proud to have made it through class. I know exactly how he feels.
In years past I might not have gone up to the new guy. I'm not shy, but 2 big fatties in the same corner? Ha ha. Seriously I might have worried about embarrassing him or me. Making a scene in front of the skinny fit people. All of that. Now, I figure, no matter how fat or thin you are it's nice to have someone be welcoming. And if as a still pretty fat chick I encourage him to get involved and move more, then........he can help the next person that needs it, right?
What about you? Caffeine- yeah or nay? Have you had any opportunities to help someone with their journey in your real life? Other than those that ask"how're you doing it" and such. How'd it work out?
This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.