This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Seriously Buzzed! and Pay it Forward.

Long long long day yesterday. After my post last night, I headed over to the long and boring Board Meeting. I didn't get home until 11pm. That's right, 4 hours of financial reports and quality measures and capital improvement budgets and.....there's a reason I'm not a MBA people. Icky!

Anyway, before the meeting I decided to go ahead and eat. I had to grab something and I keep emergency food in the office. I had a healthy choice dinner (sorry Allan, but sometimes it's gotta be done).  I also drank about 1/2 a diet Mt Dew. I arrived at the meeting to find dinner-some kind of greek, stuffed chicken with a pasta on the side and roasted cauliflower. And dessert-some kind of chocolate cookie bars. The thing is, I wasn't hungry. On the way to the meeting I had 32 oz glass of water. I was full. I had calories in the budget, but I was full. It looked tasty and not too bad health wise, but I was full. Then I thought, "I could have the cauliflower. It's roasted, no sauce, no butter."  But I was full. So why eat then?

I didn't.

During the meeting I started to freeze. I get cold so easy these days. I decided, why not a cup of coffee?  So I had one, a small one.  Oh! And did I forget to mention the excedrin migraine I took yesterday afternoon?  The point of all that is to say that I had major caffeine overload last night. I didn't get to sleep until 3am. THREE!  My fault. I know better. I'm a doctor, right? 

But, here's the deal. I used to do stuff like that and no problem. Back when I was constantly shoveling Coke and tea and coffee and diet drinks, all caffeinated down my throat, I could drink a cup of "real" coffee and go right to sleep. And I'm not talking that long ago. But nowadays I drink almost exclusively water. Of course I do. How the heck can I get all that in otherwise? But, my body is just not used to all that caffeine now I guess. I have my coffee in the am and that's it.  Kinda makes me think about what kind of drug-induced haze (caffeine is a drug to your brain, don't forget it.) I was walking around in for years. YEARS.

My Coke addiction has honestly been one of the hardest things for me to break. And addiction it is. Even now after giving them up ages ago, I crave them. I see the can and I taste it. If I have even a little, I want more. It started in high school and all those years I just guzzled that crap. Even when I switched to diet, it wasn't the same, but still I wanted more and more. I see what a carb roller coast that put me in. Glad I'm off it now.  I have a diet drink maybe 1-2 times a week, maybe. My coffee.....I love. 16oz in the am, splenda and light creamer. Not quitting it. But the rest I'm kinda glad I'm over.

Today's been good considering I didn't sleep. Being up that late led to extra water intake. I just kept drinking. No idea the total for yesterday. In the past these late night episodes would result in "the fourth meal".  Isn't that Taco Bell's slogan?  But, this time, I wasn't hungry and even though I could've eaten, I didn't need to.

I went to TKD today at lunch. Can I say that my pectoral muscles hurt soooo bad today? Achy achy. No matter what position I'm in. Kinda sucks until I realize it is proof of my push ups and planks and hard work at TKD. I learned a new kick today, the turning hook kick. I asked my black belt instructor, helper today if the dizziness from the constant spinning gets better.  She's older than me and she said emphatically, "No." I told her thanks and that I'd adjust my expectations. Ha ha. She said you learn to work around it.  I hope so.

A new man joined our class today. He is quite heavy. I saw him standing there in his white belt and I knew how he felt. Excited, scared, nervous, apprehensive.  The heaviest person in the room. I've been there many times. I went up introduced myself and told him I was glad he was there and that he was gonna love it. Told him not to worry, the instructors are great and don't go too fast.  He seemed to visibly release all this tension.   At the end I could tell he was so proud to have made it through class. I know exactly how he feels.

In years past I might not have gone up to the new guy. I'm not shy, but 2 big fatties in the same corner? Ha ha. Seriously I might have worried about embarrassing him or me. Making a scene in front of the skinny fit people. All of that. Now, I figure, no matter how fat or thin you are it's nice to have someone be welcoming. And if  as a still pretty fat chick I encourage him to get involved and move more, then........he can help the next person that needs it, right?

What about you? Caffeine- yeah or nay?  Have you had any opportunities to help someone with their journey in your real life?  Other than those that ask"how're you doing it" and such. How'd it work out?


  1. Caffeine--I was addicted to coca cola for years--I started in junior high. I especially like the fountain kind that were made to be STRONG and sweet. I used to go to the grocery store at midnight to get a Coca Cola because the cravings were so strong.

    I broke the habit many years ago, because I couldn't tolerate the caffeine--jumpy with heart palpitations, but I still crave a "real coke" once in a while, especially if I eat fast food or some kinds of restaurant food. I have never really liked diet colas of any kind. You brought back memories to me, Dr.F.--my coke addiction days!

  2. Being a Texan, I grew up liking my caffeine cold. Diet Cokes or Diet Dr. Pepper were my morning drinks, and afternoon, evening, etc. Now I rarely drink diet sodas, going for carbonated water when I need a fix. I do drink a cup of coffee in the morning using a French press - best way to get a mighty fine cup without too much hassle. Since I don't care about fat, I treat myself to half-n-half. Sometimes I will drink coffee later in the day since I don't seem to get much of a buzz if I limit to 2 cups a day, but those afternoon lattes are always low-fat.

  3. If that had been me, Doc, getting welcomed to a new class, I'd have been really chuffed as well. :) Have been thinking about going to a yoga or a zumba class but have been put off by the thought of being the fattest & most unfit, wheezy, sweaty person there...maybe I'll gird my loins and go, and perhaps there will be a welcoming person there like you.

    I used to drink loads of tea & instant coffee, but since starting my blogging journey (last summer) now I drink herbal teas, green tea & roobios tea instead. Right now since I'm still struggling with lots of personal blocks, just making small changes are good. Getting to the stage of acquiring the taste of drinking teas sans honey or milk! I have a big cafe au lait maybe once a week with coffee now made in a cafetiere or a small old-fashioned hob percolator, and semi-skimmed milk. And as it is a rare treat, I really savor it!

  4. funny you should mention that about the caffeine. prior to this journey, I was addicted to Diet Mountain Dew, the heavy hitter. I drank at least a gallon a day. I got off of it in the beginning and actually was down to just water and tea. I would have the occassional DM but mostly water and tea. Well soda is creeping back in. I still drink 100 ounces of water a day, but I am starting to have a soda or two a day. And coffee consumption has gone up this winter too. I have started drinking not only my two cups in the mornings, but a lot of mornings I get another cup on the way to work and then if we do mediations I get the leftover coffee that Jill makes for the people that come. Still getting more than 100 ounces of water a day, but kinda wish I could kick the soda!

    I would love the chance to pay it forward. I look for the opportunity all the time but just haven't found it yet. I sure hope I get to soon. I am bursting!

  5. I just gave up caffiene very recently. After a good headache for just a day or so. I feel sooo much better. Less bloated and drinking way more water. I do have a diet caffiene free soda about 3 times a week which is waayyy better than. 3-4 diet sodas a day.

    I think it was very kind of you to take the time to introduce yourself. Paying it forward awesome and feels good

  6. I was a caffeine junkie, if I went too many days without it, I would totally go through withdrawl. I keep my excedrin around for migraines that I don't get too often anymore but when I take excedrin, I'm like the energizer bunny! It's kinda fun, but scary.

    I totally used to go to Taco Bell for that 4th meal all the time. I can't believe the amount of calories I injested as a bedtime snack!

  7. No caffeine except chocolate:) I gave it up in drinks in college. Every so often when I have a late night coming I might have some mid-day.

    I have approached "newbies" at the gym more than once. I think it helps to have a smile greet you.

  8. Oh yeah - Up until a year ago, I consumed gallons of coffee every day, from sunup to sundown, and I drink it straight up black. I've cut back considerably, limiting myself to two cups of regular in the morning. I still LOVE my unsweet iced tea, but I've switched to decaf and herbal blends. I find that I sleep MUCH better now.

    Soda? Never did get into it. I didn't like it as a kid, and never picked it up as an adult. The fizziness is gross, the sweetness even more disgusting.

  9. No caffeine for me. I gave it up years ago. Only 1 cup of coffee in the morning.

    I pay it forward all the time, especially to elderly people. I love doing things for them and listening to their wisdom.

  10. I gave up Diet Coke about six months ago when I was on the plan where I tried to mimic what my Granny ate, and I couldn't believe how easy it was to get along without it after a few days. Wish I could say it spurred weight loss - it hasn't - but I suspect it spurred my weight gain on the way up, as I used it to wash down all kinds of crap. Now I drink coffee, too much coffee, and too late in the day. I may need to do what you've done and cut it out after noon.

  11. I miss my diet coke. It was hard at first, but it is getting easier. I def. drink more coffee. I also could go to sleep after coffee! I thought I was a mutant or something...

  12. You are of course out in the open about being an encourager! Glad you took the initiative. He'll be back.

    I confess, I have not given up diet Pepsi. I tried. But still drinking. It is an addiction. Pass me some water........ um, please.

  13. Caffeine drinker here. Must have coffee every morning. For a while I was good with one cup of coffee in the morning, and one diet coke every afternoon. But lately I have started drinking 2-3 cups of coffee during the day, and occasionally 2 diet cokes. Gotta get that back down a bit. But as I write this I am waiting for the next cup of coffee to brew...

  14. Good for you for approaching the new guy. You undoubtedly made him much more comfortable. He is probably more likely to come back because of YOU. Way to go!

    Never did drink much caffeine, I'm a natural morning person. Have a great weekend.

  15. Those was so nice of you to be welcoming and encouraging to the new kid in class!

    Kindness matters.

  16. I bet he was so happy that someone reached out to him. I've been there so many times (where the heavy guy was); it does make a difference when someone is kind and puts you at ease. Well done you!

  17. I hear you about coke addiction. I was addicted to Diet Coke for years. It took my weight loss surgery to break me of the habit to have it. I'll have it every now and then as a real treat, but I won't allow my body to consume those terrible preservatives they put into the sodas. But as for caffeine...oh yes, I'm still a caffeine junky. I just drink more coffee now...which is actually a good thing because it helps with my bowel movements, which was a problem before.


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