So yesterday I did not work out. I am in a lot of pain from the workout with my trainer on Monday. Still. I'm trying very hard to look at this as a positive thing. Pass the Motrin. I am frustrated because so far the scale is not moving. WTH? I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong with me. I work out. My calories are not bad. I'm sticking to the plan, but not losing. The only extra calories I've had this week were from extra veggies. Pretty sure I did not get fat by eating too much broccoli. Even that did not put me over 1100cal any day in the last week.
I think I've put on some muscle and I know I'm losing inches because when I measured last week I was down. BUT. I want that scale to move dang it. I eat less and less and I lose nothing. Ugh. I'm thinking I need some blood work. It's so discouraging. BUT. I will not be giving up. I'm enjoying my new lifestyle. I eat fruits and veggies and healthy stuff. I drink my water. I workout. You can't tell by looking at me yet, but I'm pretty healthy.
I guess that's what bothers me now. I can run, elliptical, do an hour or more of rigorous exercise and I eat right, but you can't tell by looking at me yet. When people look at me they just see "fat person". It's so frustrating. I just want to get a shirt made that says, "Yes I look fat, but I'm healthy and I've lost 84 pounds. Shoulda seen me before!"
I'm tired this week. Just tired and that isn't helping my attitude. Sorry for the negativity. I'm just not a very patient person. I never have been. It's a fault of mine. It's one of the reasons I've never been successful in weight loss before now. When I started this "new me" thing, I vowed that no matter how long it took I was going to get to my "goal" weight and achieve my fitness goals. And I haven't given up on that. It's just this is a down week for me, on everything but the scale that is.
I know what you will say. There's more to focus on but the scale. This happens from time to time with weight loss. At some point you will build muscle and that will slow down the scale from time to time. Think of the inches you've lost and how far you've come. I know, I know that. But I want to see weight loss! I'm so close to the 180s and I want to be there. I'm frustrated because I'm hungry and I'm sore and I'm tired and the dang scale is still the same.
OK. Whiny time is over.
Today I have TKD at noon and I'm probably going back this evening for a second class with the kids. I have a trip to the gym planned for tomorrow and I'm hoping for the chance for an early morning run on Saturday. Running in Texas in the summer is hard. I just cannot make myself do it in the middle of the day. I really like running outside more than the treadmill, but After 10am it's like a death wish. So I'm really going to try to treat myself to a run in the park on Saturday. Treat myself? Hee hee hee. There's an NSV for you.
The fact that I just wrote I was going to treat myself to a RUN IN THE PARK IN JUNE. A year ago, treat myself was a snickers bar and a coke at a movie following a burger and fries for lunch. I have changed. I am proud of myself. No matter what people might see or think when they look at me. I know how far I've come and I know where I'm going. So there!
I still want the scale to change though.........
Anyhoo.......got some fabulous news this morning. I have a friend from Norway whom I met as a senior in high school. He was an exchange student. We've stayed in touch and friends all these years. Anyway, he and his husband (please no judgmental anti-gay comments. I will not tolerate them) have been able to (FINALLY) adopt a child. She was born this morning. I just got the news. They are on their way to finalize the adoption. She is in India. I am so happy for them. I really needed some happy news today. Today I will focus on dreams coming true for my dear friends. I'm so so so happy for them.
This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.