Random thoughts......

Random things that I'm thinking about today:

• I really did NOT want to go to the gym this morning. I had the little war in my head and guess who won? I DID. I went to the gym and I RAN despite not wanting to. I WILL finish this C25K. I WILL!
• Attention young woman on the treadmill in front of me: Your boobs were screaming in agony the whole time you were running today. I heard them myself through the gym noise AND the headphones. For goodness sakes...GET a better bra...... Today.
• Isn't it weird how you get in a routine and you just do things out of habit? I use the same locker at the gym every time. I use the same shower stall. Today, MY shower was taken. Screwed up my whole shower mojo. Almost forgot my shampoo!
• I'm about to take my little beautiful nearly 6 year old going on 40 girl OUT.  We're having issues with being polite and respectful.  So last night she comes in my room. I had got the girls their dinner and then ran to my room to set the Tivo for the Cowboys game.  She walks in, puts her hand on her hip and says in a very snotty tone, "AND....WHY did you not get my MILK?"  Uh hem......deep breath.....I simply looked at her and then went back to what I was doing. I completely ignored her until she caught on, apologized and then asked SWEETLY if I would please get her some milk. Oh lord. Imagine what 13 is going to look like.
• I attended my first TKD class today in 2 weeks. I was out a week on vacation and then last week I had strep. Wooo doggies. My buns hurt from all those kicks. AND the Master decided we needed to do EXTRA crunches and push ups. Someone please pass the Motrin.
• Contrary to your belief, no matter what your uncle, brother, cousin, next door neighbor, OR your next door neighbor's 2nd cousin thinks, you may NOT need that medication that they take and just because you come in my office and ask for that medicine doesn't mean it is medically indicated.  I'm a doctor, not a drug dealer.
• I'm really overwhelmed trying to figure out which new TV shows are worthy of my attention and which are not. Any recommendations are welcome.My Tivo is working overtime.........BTW.....I love you Tivo!
• Attention Cowboys: FOUR bad snaps in ONE game is pathetic and, quite frankly, painful to watch.  I know your receivers are young (Thank you, Jerry for no depth in the roster) but for the love of GOD, it is NOT that hard to know where to line up. AND...Felix Jones.....the point of running the ball when you're ahead and there are just under 2min in the game is to RUN OUT THE CLOCK. Running out of bounds STOPS the clock. And finally.....I'm glad you won.....now do it again......that is all.
• Eating that fiber bar yesterday for lunch seemed like such a good idea at the time. I mean...I wasn't very hungry and I wanted something simple. And then there was the FIBER part and the resulting trips to the BR. Nuff said.
• It really annoys me when they cancel a show you really love before they finish the dang story line. How annoying. Similarly, there are a LOT of bloggers that just disappear one day. One day they are blogging and I'm enjoying getting to know them and commenting and they're commenting on my blog and it's awesome and then....they are gone. It is disturbing. Do. Not. Do. That......Please.
• There are a lot of people reading my blog (THANKS, BTW!) and I'm not sure who all of you are. If I'm not reading your blog yet, please leave me a comment. I love finding new blogs.  Why? Unfortunately, please see above statement. PLUS, the more I read about you guys and comment on your blogs, the less I want to eat. It's all about me, you know?

Wednesday Randomness, Squished Boobies and a lot of Linky Love!

I have a lot of randomness to get to today, so I hope I don't ramble too much.

• First I'll say thanks for the support on the previous post. It was a lot of complaining and I kinda feel bad when I do that, but fact is this blog is mainly for me to express how I'm feeling and what's going on. That's just how I felt on Monday. I am feeling better and I'm back on track with my diet and exercise. Back down a couple of pounds so that helps a bit as well. We'll figure out when to have surgery in the next month or two.

• A few days ago, my buddy from NYC gave me a neato little badge of honor and I hadn't yet acknowledged it. Thank you lots!

Over the last couple of days I have thought a lot about my recent stall and gain. Health problems or steroids be damned, I can make better choices. And then yesterday Allan wrote something that is so damned simple. "If you are hungry, eat something healthy until you aren't hungry anymore and then stop eating." So good to be reminded of the fact that we make this weight loss thing harder than it needs to be. First it's Food and then it's poop. That's all. Why do we make it so complicated?

• In light of the above, I'm on a mission for "back to basics". I really thought about what I'm doing differently this summer vs last and realized that I'm not working out as often even though my workouts are harder now. So this morning, despite my inner child throwing a tantrum, I dragged my ass out of bed early and got on the bike. Boy, I guess I'd forgotten what a great workout the stationary can be and how nice it is to start your day with sweating!  I was even rewarded with a couple of NSVs! 
• MY THIGHS don't rub together anymore while I'm riding the bike! I realized it and HAD to take a picture just to prove it to myself and you.  This is NOT a gratuitous crotch shot! LOOK!

• And while we're on this subject. See the cute work out top I scored at Kohl's for $5! It's cute AND a size large. So this morning I get up and see it in my drawer. I figure it'll be too small, but I thought, why not try it on? It fits and it's cool and comfortable. 

Note the sweat!

• I WON a couple of very neato prizes from my friend Tami over at Nutmeg Notebook. I won a cookbook and a gift card to try some new great organic foods. Thanks Tami!  I can't wait to get them and try them out. I chuckled today at Suzi's question about my favorite cookbook. Between Tami and Biz and all of the rest of the great foodie bloggers I don't really ever need one anymore.

• I had my boobies squished today. It was my first mammogram. I am a year late getting started, for which I felt a tad guilty. But now, I can say with conviction that it's not that bad!  It was over really quickly. Soooo if you haven' t had your boobies squished, GO!  AND my gentlemen friends I will take this moment to remind you to have your prostate probed! Early detection is key!   I have to say that my friend Jan over at Writing to Wellness who is right now recovering from breast cancer surgery inspired me to no longer avoid the issue. She is really inspiring to me as she goes through all this with a great attitude and not giving up on her goal for fitness.  AND.....I got an NSV there also!
• I have PECTORAL muscles!  Well of course everyone has them, but in women, they are usually much smaller than in men. That's one reason why women tend to have more trouble with "real" push ups".  My muscles show up on the mammogram, meaning I have well developed muscle under those boobies!  Only about 2% of women can say that! Yeah me! And yeah for all those push ups and planks and stuff.

• Along the lines of back to basics.....I've been working to greatly reduce my carb intake this week. Carbs taste good, but it makes me grumpy when I eat too many because I get hungrier faster. Anne H over at Carb Tripper  has got me thinking lately about watching my carbs. So today when faced with a challenge: I needed a quick lunch after my mammogram. I thought I'd hit Subway OR I could go to the yummy frozen yogurt place next door. My carb craving self wanted the yummy sweet yogurt. There was a lot of inner self talk about, "it's natural and nutritious" or "it has some protein in it". But I resisted and hit Subway instead for a SALAD, no bread, just turkey and no cheese to avoid the fat. AND vinegar only for dressing!

• Of course the story Big Clyde wrote about the other day didn't hurt. Ice cream is a weakness for me. Really any frozen treat: ice cream, yogurt, ice milk, ice cream sandwiches, fudge pops. You get the idea. But that ice cream story of his just stuck in my brain. The mental imagery is......well.....unpleasant. It was a funny story and I loved reading it and hey if it helps me avoid the ice cream, great! So thanks, Clyde!........I think......

OK. So that's a lot of randomness for one day! Thanks to all you out there that always support me. Thanks to all of you in blog land who are leading the way and staying on track. You all inspire me to keep going.  What about you? Any randomness in your life lately?

Random thoughts......

Today I'm having a lot of random thoughts. This is bad as it means my ADD tendencies are not in check and therefore my work is not getting done. Tomorrow is end of month and that is bad because I have to get all the stuff finished. Of course here I am writing this blog post instead of focusing on my work. I'm so excellent at procrastination.

• Today has been a good day so far food wise. I'm eating on plan although the scale isn't moving. Again. I'm exercising and not giving up.  I'm facing the weekend and a holiday where I'll have house guests. I can do this. I'll be at my house and it's my BFF and her kids that are coming. She is on track with the healthy thing and so we have some healthy food options planned. Should be a fun weekend, but I'll have to be on guard since I weigh in on Monday.
• There's a girl at the gym, early 20s, and she is very good looking. She is always on the stair climber. She is always wearing very trendy and revealing workout clothes. She is often talking to males. None of that bothers me. But, I am afraid for her. Her boobs. I swear that girl isn't wearing any sort of bra. I really want to tell her she needs more support. I mean, another 5-10 years of that bouncing and her poor boobs will be completely screwed up. Ladies, please support your ladies at the gym!
• I did a very scary thing this week. I gave one of my patients my blog address.  It's a huge step for me as very few people know about my blog. But when I started it I thought maybe this might be another way for me to encourage patients. So I bit the bullet and gave it to her. Maybe it'll help. Maybe she'll never look at it. But, it's a big step for me to be open about this and means I'm more confident in my progress.
• I just can't get myself to run on the treadmill at the gym. I thought about it the other day. Doing my C25K at the gym. But, I have to be honest I'm self conscious about it. I know it's silly. I've done everything else in the gym. I know no one is watching me and no one will care what I look like, but I just feel weird. I've done it outside in public. What's my hang up with running at the gym? I don't know. Maybe I'll just make myself and get it over with.
• I hate glasses. I hate wearing glasses. I want to get my eyes fixed.  I just wish I didn't know everything that can go wrong with that surgery. I'm nervous about it. It's irrational. But, the glasses are starting to get in the way of my drippy and sweaty self with workouts. I always said when I reach my goal, that will be my reward. I hope that I have the guts to do it by then.
• I had the most awesome dream last night where I was at my Aunt's house and some a-holes broke in and I totally Tae Kwon Do'd their asses. Cool.
• I am wearing SIZE 12 PANTS today! I bought 2 pairs of pants at Kohl's in size 12. I thought they would be snug, but they are actually fitting great. Makes me wonder how long it will be until I can wear 10s. HOLY MOLY! This is the smallest size I've been in my adult life. And I'd always longed to be this size because then I would be a "normal" size. But, I'm still pretty fat. I clearly have no concept of what a normal weight looks like. I tried to take a pic, but I'm wearing a long shirt and it's too big. I didn't realize it was so big until now. It's a 2X. Time for it to go.
• I bought a SIZE LARGE dress at Target for $12 and it's really cute and fits great. I'll post a pic next time I wear it. If it weren't for my umm.....top, I could probably wear a medium. A MEDIUM. Woo hoo. 
• I was wearing my jacket at work inside out yesterday. Dork. I put my scrub pants on backwards the other day so the pocket was in the front. I didn't notice until I was at work. Dork. I had my bra on inside out the other day. Couldn't figure out why the ladies kept sliding out of the bra until I got home and realized I had it on wrong. Dork. I hope I'm not the only one that is a dork.
• My husband was working from home this morning so I took the opportunity and went for an outside walk/run. First, I should use my inhaler before I run outside. I forgot and I got winded. It wasn't bad and at least it wasn't hot. I had a run pace of 12min which I find great since I used to be like a 16 and it's been 3 weeks since I ran at all. It reminded me how much I love to run. (If you call what I do running) I can only run for short intervals, but it is running.
• This week is weird. The morning is really busy and the afternoon is very slow. Guess it's the heat.
• Got my hair done today. It's straight. I never have time to straighten my hair. It is a chore and it's hot. Plus I end up with my hair pulled up a lot what with the exercising at lunch and mid-day showers most days. I took a pic since it only happens every 8 weeks or so when the hair dresser does it.

• I am down NINE SIZES from my highest size. WOW!
• I finally scheduled my Mammogram. Smushy. Time to do as I say and "man" up. Or is it "mamm" up? Ha ha ha ha ha! So silly. 
• I also scheduled a visit with my ENT for next week. Gag. Literally.
• I'm sick of vegetables. I get so tired of the same things over and over and over. Sigh.....I need to look up some new recipes or something. Broccoli, green beans, broccoli, peas, green beans, blah!
• I actually had to catch myself from telling my 13 year old to get his head out of his book yesterday. He was ignoring me at the time. I realized I should never chastise him for reading.
• I hate the sports dead zone. This time of year there is tennis and baseball and golf. Boo. I like baseball ok, but it's soooooo slow. Sigh. On the bright side there are only 65 days to the first OU home game!
• My garden is starting to produce! We've had a lot of cucumbers and there's a baby watermelon. Lots of yellow pear tomatoes and cherry tomatoes. Only a few big ones yet. A few bell peppers, too. Next year we've got to expand the garden. Maybe for the fall. I need more room. 
• Don't you hate it when your nose keeps itching and it feels like there is something there, but there isn't? 
• Don't you hate it when there's something there and you didn't notice?

Well, that's it for my random thoughts today. I hope all of you are having a nice focused and less random day, but if not, please feel free to share your random thoughts.