Lots of Sweating.....Busy.....What's your WHY?

It's been a while since I posted. My life has been insane. I am really struggling with juggling. Hee hee. That's funny. It rhymes. So tired......

In the past 2 weeks I have been swamped at work. My son started his summer band. My kids have done TKD camps and are working on tests. My daughter had a birthday. My mom had a birthday. We had a work BBQ gathering. I had a house full of family and my BFF and her kids for a week.  I've been doing a lot of swimming laps because getting to the gym has been impossible. I pulled a muscle in my neck doing back stroke which resulted in 4-5 days of not working out. I took the kids to the dentist. I took my son back to school shopping.  I've been trying to get my house organized, albeit slowly. I swear it's like a sinking ship I'm constantly trying to bail out. Sigh.

Anyhoo...I'm still here and I'm still making effort. I'm working out and eating right. I'm not perfect but I am tracking everything, so that's an improvement to be sure.

This week I started P90X. Let me tell you it is hard. Really hard. I was really worried, but overall it has been doable so far. I have to modify a few moves, but I can do most of it. Thank you Taekwondo! The chest and back workout was mainly pullups and pushups. I love push ups, but I had no idea there were so many different kinds. So far the hardest was the decline push ups. I just can only do 5 at a time of those. That will improve as my abs and back get stronger. Instead of the 25, I did 2 sets of 5 and then did regular push ups.  I can't use a pull up bar in my house as I have wide doors and the ceilings are tall. Plus, I can't do more than one anyway. But, instead I'm using bands and it is still really great.

Even the killer plyometrics workout from today wasn't too bad. I have heard horror stories. One of my drug reps told me that he had trouble with the warm up! And he's way younger than me and in way better shape. I was nervous that I'd be standing there and having to just modify everything, but I didn't. There is a TON of jumping in that. I wish I could jump higher, but as I lose weight that will improve. Knee ups and the rock star jump were the worst. Also, I can't really hop on one foot, too hard on my knee, but instead I did a modified move.  I'm just proud that I made it through the first two days without falling out.

The ab workout is KILLER. That's the one I had the most trouble with so far. That is 16min of pure hell if you ask me. I cannot do many of those at a time. Considering the people on the video do at most 25-30 of each one, I was pretty pleased I could do 8-10 of each thing. Clearly I need that the most.Can't wait until I can get through the whole thing.

Me after day 2 P90X. note the HUGE sweat stain and glassy eyed stair. It's a beast, but how COOL is it that I'm doing this thing? Pretty dang cool if you ask me, especially for someone that never, EVER worked out 2 years ago.

And now here's how my week has gone so far........

So let's see. Yesterday I got up, got the boy to band, girls ready for camp, swam a few laps. Went to work. Came home at lunch and did P90X chest/back. Went back to work. Came home, did the P90X abs. Then had a teleconference until 8:30pm. Got the coffee maker set up, food packed for today, kids to bed. Did work I had left to do. Went to sleep. I ate 1120 calories and I went to bed full and happy.

This morning I got up and took son to band, swam a few laps, got the girls ready for camp. Showered and got ready for work. Left a bit early and took the van to get tires rotated. Went to work. Worked. Went home and did P90X plyometrics. Burned 475 calories. Showered because I was DRIPPING. Back to work. Worked. Changed for TKD, drove to TKD. Did an hour of TKD and burned 420 calories. Came home. Showered because I was DRIPPING AGAIN. Ate dinner with the family. Spent 2 hours reviewing TKD with the kids as they get prepared for their next belt test. Got girls to bed and now I'm here finally making myself take a few minutes to post. Today I had  1119 calories and I'm full. I had snacks and I'm trying to keep my protein up. I drank 148 oz of water today. I feel really good. I have a bit of a headache, but that's due to the storm. Yep, there's thunder here. And rain.  Yippee.

I'm sorry I haven't posted more. I want to. I do. I think about all of you. I read your blogs. I get in my head that I need to have time to think of something inspiring to say. I get in my mind that I'm too busy to post. I get in my mind that if I can't do a "good" post I shouldn't bother. But, I know that when I'm posting, I'm focused and that's really my goal. I still have my moments with food and my issues. I wish I could wish them away, but I can't. I keep working on it. I will get past my hang ups and baggage about food. I have to.

Nothing like having a few people put in your path that remind you of the problems you have. I have had several patients complain to me lately that they can't lose weight. Most of them do not like the advice I give them. I've heard a LOT of my own thoughts thrown at me the last 2 weeks and some that I just get sick of hearing. It's really struck home. I'm so tired of hearing people tell me why they CAN'T do it. What they really are saying is that they WON'T.

"I try and don't lose so what's the point".
"I enjoy food. I don't drink or smoke. Shouldn't I have something I enjoy?"
"I'm too busy to eat right and plan meals"
"When I get home I'm just too tired to work out"
"I don't LIKE healthy foods"
"I just CAN'T give up my carbs."
"I work out at least 20 minutes 3-4 times a week and I STILL don't lose anything"
"No matter what I do my belly is still flabby."

Of course when I counter with ways they can do better on diet or exercise, they don't want to hear it. When I tell them there's no easy way, they get mad. I try to tell them I understand. I go through the same thing. I try to let them know it's doable. I try to tell them that they CAN do it if the WANT to do it. Each of us has to find our own WHY.

So my WHY is my kids, my family, my health, my future, my future grand kids and great-grands and traveling and trips and hiking and running with the kids and playing and being able to do those damn knee up jumps and getting my black belt and feeling good and healthy and fit and powerful. I want to LIVE. Really live my life. That's my why.

What's your why?