Today turned out to be a great day. I'm taking advantage of watching the draft to multi-task and blog at the same time. I had the 4th meeting in as many days tonight and thank goodness that's the last one for a while. There are times when I wonder how we doctors get any actual medicine done!
Speaking of the draft....I'm pretty darned happy with the Cowboys pick this year. We need help in the secondary and that should help. As usual a lot of interesting developments. I love football and I love sports. Of course anyone who has read this blog at all knows that already!
Today we woke up late. I had promised the kids donuts for good behavior all month and all the work they did in the yard with me last weekend. Of course mommy running late is not a valid excuse so i had to take them.
I always feel torn about junk food and the kids. It is a rare treat in our family. But I do want them to learn how to eat right and manage their desire for an occasional treat right? Of course I always feel weird as the fat girl in the donut shop. I do not eat them and I didn't touch one today, but I always wonder what people think when they see me there. Of course then my first thought is screw them anyway because they are standing in the same line! And a lot of them did not have kids with them!
I got the kids off to school and I had rushed out without breakfast. Of course I had my coffee. I don't leave without my coffee and my big water glass. Luckily I'd packed my snack bag. When I got to the office I had an apple and a cheese stick and an orange. It was great and plenty.
At noon I went to TKD class. Had a great class and hard workout with 25 pushups and 60 crunches and stretching to warm up. We spent about half the class doing sparring drills which is fabulous cardio. After I was drenched in sweat and hungry but I felt great.
Why why why do I forget how much better I feel when I fuel my body with healthy food lots of water and then plenty of exercise? It's weird to me that when I'm stressed and down I STILL sometimes lapse into my old habit of emotional eating. Once the cycle of bad eating starts, it's so hard to stop.
Eating crap makes your body tired and sluggish. Your brain doesn't work because your blood sugar is all over the place. That causes changes in your brain chemistry and round the cycle you go. Learning not to get caught in that trap has been the hardest part of this whole thing.
I tell myself that I gained weight over the last few months because I was sick and on steroids and going through some hard times. The truth is I gained weight because I ate shit and drank shit and because of my health I couldn't work out much which is of course the absolute WORSE time to eat shit!
I get so pissed at myself for falling into that old trap. The only positive I see though is that the lapses are less often, shorter and not as severe. That is evidence to me that I am learning. But apparently in weight loss I am FAR from an A student. And now that I've typed that I suddenly realized that that is something I need to work on.
Not the messing up. That goes without saying. I'm talking about how I feel about the fact that I'm not the A student in this situation. I'm an over achiever and type A personality in many aspects of my life. I'm not perfect by any means. I'm not as organized as I should be and I'm scatterbrained and sometimes I can be a real bitch. But when I set my mind to something that I want to do I've been able to do it. Except lose weight. Why?
Is that the fact that I keep failing weighing on me?(pun intended) The answer is YES it does. Especially here where I'm so public with it all. Letting go of that disappointment in myself without giving myself a pass is something I really need to figure out.
But enough of that. On the bright side of things I am doing well with food. I'm drinking my water and I'm working out. Now if I keep doing those three very simple things over and over and over and over I know I'll get that A!
What about you? How do you feel about junk food for the kids? I know I did not learn moderation with junk food at all and I'm trying to teach it to my kids. Does getting mad at yourself help or hinder your weight loss efforts? For me I suppose it's both.