What! How could it possibly be Monday already?!?!?!? I swear sometimes I just don't know where my weekends go. Of course, it could be that we've been traveling so much lately. I haven't had a weekend at home in like a month!
Saturday we got up, ate breakfast packed a bag and headed to Norman for the OU game. I have to say that I was less than impressed with the way my Sooners played on Saturday against Missouri. I really expected more after their amazing performance at Florida State. And yesterday when the rankings came out and we dropped to #2, I think we saw that most everyone agreed. Maybe that will be a slap in the face and they'll wake up and realize that just winning isn't good enough. You have to play your best game every time if you want to be #1.
This got me thinking about my weight loss game. Just eating right and exercising most of the time isn't good enough to get the results I want. I know this. But, over the last few months I've gotten lax about my focus on the scale. It's easy to lull myself into getting comfortable with how far I've come and forget where I'm trying to go. Just doing well is not enough. Unless I'm getting the results on the scale I want, I'm not winning. I'm playing a good game, but I want to see that scale move and it takes more than I've been giving lately. I've said this before and I am frustrated and embarrassed to be writing it again. NO I haven't had a major slip. I haven't gained. But, I haven't seen the weight loss I did before.
I am feeling a bit frustrated with myself since I didn't get to work out all last week being sick with strep. I'm ready to get back in the game this week and I have my gym bag packed for a trip to the gym today at lunch. I also got lax about tracking on vacation and then last week being sick I didn't track everyday. That just will not do. There's no excuses this week. None. I am resurrecting my inner drill sergeant and getting back to being hard on myself. There is nothing wrong with expecting the best from yourself. There is nothing wrong with being hard on yourself.
There's a lot of talk around here about mistakes and how to respond to them. There are a lot of people who were here when I started this blog and are no where to be found now. Truth is, I got to be this weight by not being hard enough on myself. There are a lot of posts lately about trying to find motivation and wishing about getting back on track. Most of these posts are followed by comments which at first glance seem to be encouraging. Things like "you've come so far" or "you're doing so well" or "at least you didn't eat the WHOLE pizza". (these are not direct quotes from anyone's blog).
I understand wanting to be supportive and helpful. I do the same thing, but I also know I have a tendency to minimize my mistakes and short comings. We all do. For a long time I fooled myself into thinking that I looked good and I was healthy. Then I really took a look at where I was and realized I had to stop that. Sometimes I think we should do the same with others around here. There's a line between being supportive and being codependent and a facilitator. Do we tell others "it's OK" when they slip because we don't want to admit our own mistakes?
Should we feel like a failure when we make mistakes? No. Should we let mistakes overwhelm us and lead us to quit? Of course not. BUT, don't fool yourself. That little taste, that one cookie, that "just for today", that "It's my Birthday and I deserve it" mentality is what got us here. Being hard on yourself is a good thing. Being disciplined and expecting the best from yourself is a good thing. There's a difference between being driven and focused and being overly critical of yourself.
Today stop and think about where you are with your weight loss game. Are you giving it your all? Are you playing your best game? Do you have more you can give? Where do you want to be? What are your goals? Are you doing everything you can to get there every day?
Nobody's perfect, but there is nothing wrong with trying. I always tell my kids that if they do their very best, it's OK not to get an A. If they tried their HARDEST, and can't get an A, I'm OK with it. I had to ask myself if I was doing my best and I would have to say, not EVERY day. I can do better. What about you?
There is definitely a balancing act that needs to occur, between forgiving yourself for little screw-ups, and then being honest with your shortcomings. We ALL need to work harder, have more motivation, and be more focused about our overall health. The thing is that it's an ongoing challenge and there's ALWAYS room for improvement, even when you're doing a great job. It can be self-defeating if you let it get to you. But I agree that it doesn't do anyone any favors to constantly offer friendly support ("at least it wasn't the WHOLE bag of Oreos!") without saying from time to time, "Hey, I noticed that you're eating a lot more snacks" or "You dropped your daily exercise--what's going on with that?" Yup, it's a balancing act. Get back on track Doctor F! Get your head back in the game! :-)
ReplyDeleteChristine
www.phoenixrevolution.net
You're so right about the scale. When I stop weighing, I also stop being as vigilant about my food. The truth for me is this: I need to be vigilant and consistent, no matter what circumstances I find myself in. I've done it before, and I can do it again. I think we all can. The vigilence and consistency are my primary tools in this weight loss scenario! That's what I have to do, or inertia, then frustration will set in--and the scale will not move downward! I think this is true for all of us!
ReplyDeleteOh crap, no coddling ? You are going to get yelled at....Oy Vey....
ReplyDeleteI would be the last person to minimize mistakes. My approach is to evaluate what happened (or is happening if I can catch), figure out what is going on, and learn from what happened - what exactly is the stumbling block? Some times we have no control over them (grief reaction, for example), and it's got to be OK to give yourself a little slack (strep throat, ahem) as long as you get back up as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteFor me, realizing that I need to rely more on support systems as a coping skill has been my latest lesson.
Jan
Spot on post! Timely for me! It is easy, too, when you lose a bunch of weight to sit on your laurels. I relaxed for a couple of weeks after my latest trip, but I am on game now. Tracking and exercising hard. Yes, here is to a new "A" game!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post - I agree, you only get what you put into it. I tend to go through peaks and valleys - I am spot on, work out a ton, eat well, and then I lose my mojo somewhere along the way.
ReplyDeleteMy game face is on this week though!
The gloves come off!
ReplyDeleteMe too!
Arrrgh!
Good post. It's hard when you read about someone struggling, because you know where they're coming from. I will give support all day long to tell someone they can do it, but... those posts where it's like "I did bad but it's OK because..." I don't reply to because I think there IS a difference between being supportive and condoning something you know (and they know) isn't good. One, I hope helps, but the other I don't think helps anyone in the long-term.
ReplyDeleteIt is usually pretty easy to tell if someone is serious or just wants to make friends and "chat". Al described someone once who had had the surgery and then found a way to lay on her side so the pouch would stretch and she could eat McDonald's. There's slipping up and then there is being stupid.
ReplyDeleteMichele at http://ruminationsasiuncoverthewomanwithin.blogspot.com/ referred me to your post today and I am so happy she did. It was the punch in the gut I needed. I am definitely not playing my A-game and I haven't been for some time. I have no one to blame but myself.
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate the support I get from blogging, but sometimes I need a swift kick in the ass. I do expect my fellow bloggers to be honest and tell me when I am being a whiny baby or just making excuses (and they do for the most part) But I also need to give myself the same tough love.
So happy to have found your blog (thanks, Michele!)....this post could not have been more timely.
I feel the same way about my Utah State Aggies and ME. Definitely NOT on our 'A' games this week.
ReplyDeleteTime to strip the excuses, deal with the problems and get my head back into the game.
Time to win.
startingat500pounds.com
You raise some very good points. And it easy for me to slip into a bit of complacency. Right now, I can do better:) As for comments, I always wonder what tact to take. Often I base it on how close I feel to the blogger, if I think they want kindness and support that they are not alone, or if I think they would appreciate a kick in the butt. I know some butt kicking now and then has really helped me!
ReplyDeleteahh complacency Ive been struggling with ye.
ReplyDeletein fitness and, Ill admit, in life.
MizFt
I just saw your total weight loss and am thinking "fantastic". You have lost every month. This is a marathon, not a sprint, you seem to be doing great!
ReplyDeleteI can always count on you to tell it like it is Ann!
ReplyDeleteI have been too relaxed about my food plan as of late and it's time to clean things up!
I think that commenters are trying to be supportive because no matter what anyone says to anyone else, it takes that person wanting it for themselves. I did a post on that a few posts back. None of the "tell it like it is" things seem to change anyone, including ourselves! I can't tell you how many times I was "real" with myself. It didn't change my addiction to food. I didn't stop, I didn't "stick with it", I failed again and again. I finally started with the positive self talk and that seems to give me more motivation.
ReplyDeleteBeing new to this blogging forum I'm still unsure about how to comment when I read posts about 'falling of the wagon' ... I've stopped reading a number of blogs because I found their attitude just wasn't healthy for me. I know I haven't reached my goal yet, so I don't feel like it's my place to criticize -- but I know that I'm trying really hard to get to where I want to be.
ReplyDelete