Here we go then....

Ok, so I've been reading a lot of blogs. A lot. For the past month, they have helped me so much. I feel like I've gotten to know some of these bloggers and then I want to tell them stuff that I'm doing and I can't. Instead of emailing like some sort of freaky stalker-type person, I thought I'd start my own blog. So here it is. My very first post.

I guess I should start with the obligatory story of me. I've always been fat. I've never known what it feels like to be thin. Most people in my family are obese, with a lot of the medical baggage that comes with that. My trainer asked me the other day, "When's the last time you were a normal weight for you?" I answered, "When I was about 4." This is the gosh darned truth. He chuckled because he thought I was kidding. I wasn't. He asked how I know I was a normal weight and I told him it's the only time I have pictures of me where I'm not fat.

I went through all the B.S. in school about being the fat kid. By high school, I was lucky enough to meet another fat kid who became and is still my best friend. We were class clowns and liked by a broad spectrum of people. We were also in the smart kid crowd. School was the only place I felt like I could excel.

By college, I was pretty comfortable in my skin. I was focused on my lifelong goal of being a doctor. I was accepted to medical school and by the first semester, I knew that this career path was not a healthy environment. Late nights studying, junk food and no time for exercise was the norm then and through residency.

Now that I'm an uh...an "established physician" and I've been in practice for over 10 years, I have realized that I am tired of not listening to myself. How many times a day do I give the "eat right and exercise" speech?? Lots.

About 18 months ago, a patient came to me with obesity, high-blood pressure and high cholesterol. She was very obese. We had that talk and I guess something I said stuck. Six months later, she came in and she had lost 70 pounds. She thanked me profusely and said I'd saved her life by talking to her that day. She was so happy and proud. And that was the moment. The one where I knew I had to get fit and wanted to change.

My brain said, "WTF? You got her to do all that by simply encouraging her, but you can't do it for yourself!" And , then I got really angry, and then really motivated. I joined a gym and started working out. I lost 25 pounds. But, I've had some ups and downs, including some medical problems which slowed me down. I was on steroids for 6months and had surgery, twice. I gained it all back, plus some.

When we got back from Spring Break this year, I hit 250 lbs. Again. And, I decided to stop wallowing in the fact I had gained my weight back. Again. And I'm back on track. Since March 22, I've lost 21.6 pounds and I'm working out 5-6 times a week. I'm tracking my calories every day and I feel in control and excited about exercise for the first time in my life.

About a month ago, I had a down time. I had gained a pound one week and I was really discouraged. I happened across Stephen at whoatemyblog.com and it saved me. From his blog I found others, and from theirs, more still and I am so thankful. I have a tiny hope that maybe I can do the same for someone someday. We'll see.....