Keeping my Chin Up...

Here I am with another exciting edition of my blog. Hopefully I can keep it down to just one of my various personalities speaking out today. Just kidding. Yesterday's post about my "voices" in my head was super fun and I just think it's important for us to pay attention to the crap we tell ourselves all day long.

Today I wanted to start off by saying thank you to Sean for the very kind mention in his blog the other day. I have been so inspired by his story. I've started giving his blog out to patients who need a little motivation. If you don't read his blog, and I find it hard to believe that anyone out here in bloggerville doesn't, you HAVE to now. He recommends reading from the beginning and I totally agree. I've almost got it all read now. A-Maz-Ing.

Also to Christine for saying I inspired her on a post this week. How kind. She is so nice and has been helpful to me. Knowing that I might have helped her feels great. If you don't read her. Start. And I agree with Shane, who is relatively new to all this that we're here to help each other. To inspire each other. And so many of you do that for me. He must have read my mind because just today I started a list of quotes which have been speaking to me. Some from blogs, others not. I'm planning a post on those at some point.

Yesterday, I ended with the yelling coach inside me stating that I'd bought myself a two-a-day. And I woke up this morning, determined to do it. I noticed on my log that my exercise numbers while still good, were down from where they were. Part of that is due to the "elbow incident". I realized I haven't done a push up in a week. Hummph. This morning I woke up and was soooo tired. Mainly because I was up all night with various interruptions.

I went to bed late, I was hyper for some reason. Maybe because I didn't exercise yesterday? Tsk. Tsk. Power was out for about an hour. It's hot here. Did I mention that? PLUS the beep beep beep of the battery backup on our various electronic devices. This is what happens when you marry a computer geek. (And thank goodness I did! I loves me some TIVO and what not. Love you hunny)

Then it started with the, "Mommy I had a bad dream." Over and Over again one or the other of my daughters (4 and 6) were in my room. Until the last week, they had been crawling into our bed uninvited. Then they had been sneaking in and sleeping on the floor. We're trying to get them used to sleeping in their own beds again before school next week. They did great until...vacation and then illnesses which led to the lapse. Tonight we had a long talk about sleeping like big girls. Parenting is just plain hard.

Anyway, so I woke up and trotted, okay dragged, up the stairs to my bike. I rode nearly 7 miles on one of the harder programs. Felt so good. I hadn't ridden since last week. I was sweaty. Really sweaty. I stopped there knowing I had an appointment with the trainer at noon and did my stretching. Legs just now recovered from that massive meany leg workout with the trainer on Thursday.

Breakfast was a Jimmy Dean d'lite sandwich. I was running late post-no sleep. They're pretty good if you haven't tried them. Only 260 cals 8g fat. That and my coffee and I was good. Had a snack on the way to the gym, string cheese and big ole Sooner cup filled with water. Yumm. Good idea to hydrate prior to training. My trainer kicks my butt. He'd better. That's what I pay him for.

Son joined me again this time. His last one before school. He'll be getting plenty of workouts with football. Has 2 hour workouts before school every day! He's in 7th grade. This is Texas people. Football aint for sissies. I'm so proud of him for wanting to do that. I didn't do sports, girls didn't as much way back in my day. I'm old. None of my cousins played ball. Pretty much running was punishment. I would've rather gotten spanked.

The trainer had an upper body and ab/core day planned today. Yippee. Fun. After my elliptical warm up, I was ready to go. So the first thing he says is,"Today we'll start with chin ups" Ha ha ha ha! I know, right? Ha ha ha.... See it's still funny. And he said it without grinning. He's good. I have not even attempted a chin up since 5th grade when they make you do those for that damned president fitness whatever the hell. I'm pretty sure I couldn't do it then either.

So he walks over to this giant machine contraption, which btw I'm almost too short to climb up on. I must have been looking at him like he was from Mars or other much hotter place, because he told me to, "just give it a try." Then he hit me with the motivational, "Come on, Ann. You can do this. Think of all the other things you've done that you never thought you could." Oh. All right. You had me at "Come on."

So I, yes me the fat over 40 woman, climb up on this thing and then proceed to FREAKIN DO FIFTEEN CHIN UPS!!! Oh hell yeah! In fact, young and buff jock-type dude couldn't use the machine because I WAS ON IT. Take that.

Granted, it is a counter balance weight pulley thingy which my physics major husband could explain way better than me. BUT. I. Did. It. He had the weight set on 85 pounds the first set. This means I was actually lifting 132 pounds of my weight. Wow. AND. I just realized, just now, that that is what I'll feel like doing one when I'm over a 100 pounds lighter and almost to goal. Wow, again.

So here's how the rest of the workout rounded out:
First Circuit: Rotating through each one 3 times each
1) Chin ups: 15, 15, 12
2) Dips (like reverse push ups?): 15, 15, 12
3) Military shoulder press, 30#: 15, 15, 12
4) V-ups or supine jackknifes with 7.5 pound weight: 20 x3

Second Circuit:Rotating through each one twice
5) Bicep burnouts: Yep as bad as it sounds. 30# weight x 10, 20# weight x10, 10# weight x20. It burns. Apparently this is supposed to "cut my muscle" or give me more cut or...well it's supposed to be good. It better be.
6)Close grip chest press: 30 pound bar, x20
7)Bench leg raises holding the 30# bar x20
8)Shoulder rotations: 7.5# weight and hold it through complete backstroke, like swimming x10 each arm

Last circuit:
1)Ball situps: 4# medicine ball, sit up, holding ball, throw it and catch at top x20
2) Standing rows with bands red and green together: 40 reps x 2

Yep. It was hard, but how powerful do I feel saying I did all that? Lunch was the ham sandwich wrap I had packed this am and another string cheese. Then, left over tomato salad from night before and a new treat, Motts flavored applesauce with fiber. I love love the cran-raspberry I had today, only 60 cals. AND the pomegranate is super good also. Lunch topped out at 508 cals, which is more than usual, but I burned over 600 during my workout.

Dinner was pasta cooked by our nanny. She's Italian, what can I say. I had 1 cup whole wheat spaghetti, 1/2 cup sauce and some steamed veggies. Also finished up the zucchini from Sunday. I was stuffed after and I am still full, even though talking about all this food got me thinking of snacks just now. (Not gonna happen. Forget about it) My calories finished at 1379, minus the 882 I burned working out today. Awesome.

Tomorrow is my official weigh in day. I'm hoping to see a loss and should assuming the scale trends the way it has been. I plan a C25K run tomorrow. Starting week 7, that's 25 min runs, no walking. I added some new, "angry running" music so I am looking forward to it even if I have to use the treadmill this time. No childcare in the am. For some reason people frown on you leaving your kids alone at 6 am. Who knew? I haven't done a long run on the treadmill. We'll see how it goes. Never know till I try, right?

So what have you done lately that has made you feel strong and powerful, physically or mentally? Any new fitness goals on the horizon? Tried anything new lately?

OUCH! That hurt.

Wednesday turned out pretty nicely. I am so amazed at how much better my moods are lately. I don't know if it's all the exercise or eating healthy, but I have such a more positive outlook on my life. And that's a big deal for me. I've struggled with depression since my teen years. It runs in my family. But, now I actually wake up with a smile on my face. Huh. Something else to ponder.

Anyway, Wednesday I got up and rode my bike(my stationary) 7.5 miles. Then I did my one armed push ups girlie style, well...I did ONE real one. Damn that's hard. Eating was good.

Yesterday, I didn't work out in the morning knowing I would be training with the trainer at lunch. Usually, I would do cardio in the am, but my legs were still sore from my long run on Tuesday and biking Wednesday am. I knew better. And, as much as the Trainer costs, I want to maximize that workout every time. My son joined me for my session. Can I just say how cool it is to workout with your kid? I don't remember ever doing that with my Mom. Dad was just generally yelling at me to go walk so I wouldn't be so fat. After my son said, "Mom that was fun, can I come next week?" You bet, little dude.

The workout was rough, I have to say. We did legs since my elbow is still screwed up. I warmed up with 15min on the elliptical. Usually it would be 30-45, but I ran late from the office. Doctor's life is all I can say. After that here's what the trainer had us do:
1) Weighted squats: 18#bar and red bands-2 sets of 25
2) Leg presses: I did 80#, 2 sets of 25
2)Side step squats w/ red band on our feet-Not sure how many. We walked across the gym and back
3)Hamstring lifts:30#, 2 sets of 20 each leg
4)Bosu crunches: 2 sets of 30
5) Bosu lunges: One foot on the bosu you forward lunge then backward- 20 each leg
6) Not sure what these are called but they hurt: Put your foot in this harness thing attached to cable w/ weight. Stand on 1 leg while kicking the other w/ the weight. Ouch. 20 each leg
7)Superman lifts (Or what I call Wonder Woman lifts): Stand on the evil contraption where your feet are up on a platform ,there's a padded bar at your hips, hang up side down from the waist and lift your torso up and down with arms over head, 2 sets of 20
8)Weighted reverse lunge: 2 sets 25 with 75# weight on the shoulders
9)The worstest of the worstest, Calf busters: walk down flight of stairs. ON the way up stand w/ heels hanging off the stair. Lift heels 10 times. Once w/ heel straight, then heel pointed out, then heel pointed in. Do this all the way up the flight of stairs. OMG. It hurts. Feels like the worst charlie horse ever. But, I did it.

Food yesterday was pretty good. Came in at around 1400 cals, but with the 600 I burned at lunch, my net cals were 800. I ate more than usual at lunch yesterday. I was hot and hungry after that workout. I stopped at the frozen yogurt place and had my strawberry-banana yogurt w/ berries which was 225 cals, then I had 2 string cheese for protein 160 cals. Then I had 2 afternoon snacks of fruit and lots and lots of water.

I drink so much water and I cannot believe how much I love the stuff. I always used to think I didn't like it. BS. I just liked the coke I drank better. Now I'm the complete opposite. I'd much rather have cold water than anything. I drink at least 4 32oz glasses each day, sometimes more. There are days where I'm not as much in the mood. Those days I just take a break and say, "Ok, time to chug." Usually this is when I notice myself start to feel grumpy, tired, hungry when I shouldn't be, or especially if I feel I'm getting a migraine. Can you believe my migraines are probably 1/2 what they were a few months ago? The only time I've had them this summer is when a front moves through. I used to get them every few days. Bright light is one of my triggers and I live in North Texas so bad combo.

Yesterday wrapped up with me getting a shot in my elbow. OUCH! Oh. My. God. I'll be a lot more sensitive to patients when I give these from now on. Elbow is a painful shot compared to larger joints like knees or shoulders. I tried to figure out a way to give it to myself, but it's my right elbow and I figured that was a bad idea, right? So a friend of mine whose an Ortho did it. Ack! I was fine once the numbing medicine kicked in and I thought, wow that's better. Then it wore off during the drive home. By the time I got home I couldn't really move my arm or hand. Not good since I'm right handed.

Luckily, my nanny (god bless her) had started dinner. I couldn't chop anything or open the oven door, so my son helped me by preparing the fish I wanted to bake while I gave instructions. He loves to cook and enjoys learning. He's the "grub master" for his patrol this weekend on his big camp out and he is so excited. He'll be shopping for them on a budget and cooking the food. They're going to Slippery Falls up in Oklahoma, southeast. Should be a blast if it weren't for the heat, but they'll spend most of their time in the cold streams and falls.

Anyway...all I did last night was lay around with an ice pack. I didn't sleep too well. But, if I can get back to my workouts, it'll all be worth it. I miss my push ups. I'm really good at them. It makes me feel so strong and athletic (yeah 217 pounds of athlete. Guess I could play woman's NFL. I'd love that. Had a patient once who did that, but I digress..) There have been several times where people, both men and women, have said "wow you're working out hard." I just got the app for the iPhone called 100 pushups. They have one that's 200 situps, I want to get that next. But, I can't start that until the elbow is better, maybe next week.

So, without even realizing it I've set some fitness goals. ME. I HAVE FITNESS GOALS. Hard to imagine. But, I'm excited. I want to be able to run a 5K. The whole thing. I'm not ready yet, but I'm trying. I want to be able to do 200 sit ups and 100 push ups. And I want to do P90X all the way through. I've been looking at getting it on ebay. Have any of you done it? Did you like it? Was it worth the money? I know I can't do chin ups yet, but I know you can use a band.

What are your fitness goals? I've never had them before. It's always been about the scale. Always. I really like changing the focus from my eating and the numbers on the scale to fitness. It's a total change for me and I think it's doing me some good mentally. I'm not thinking about weighing all day. What about you?

How much water do you drink? Have you noticed positive changes in you since you started down this road? I'm talking about non weight loss or size changes, like me with my mood and migraines. I think it's very interesting that I'm having this shift in my thinking from the numbers on the scale to the other stuff. After all, the numbers won't go down forever and I am realizing that when my focus is on the healthy stuff, the numbers reflect that anyway.

Have a super Friday! I'm going out to lunch with a friend today, a rare treat! But, I have a plan. I'll share more later.

You've GOT to be kidding!

For the past 2 months or so I've been training with a personal trainer. He's a very nice guy, but sometimes I think he forgets how fat I am. I guess this is good, but sometimes I feel like he expects me to do so much more than I think I can do.

Today during our session he once again directed me to the area of the gym I like to call the "jungle". This is the area where they have free weights and all sorts of contraptions for lifting weights which are completely foreign to me. This is where various large, muscled men and women hang out grimacing and grunting as they do whatever it is they do over there.

He says to me, "Today we're doing machine chest presses, weighted squats and bosu dead lifts with weights." Uh huh. Sure we are. I must have had the same look on my face some patients give me when I say something completely medical like "gastroesophageal reflux" instead of heartburn. And there I was, me with my sweating and huffing and puffing and fatness amongst all the "hard core" gym rats.

But, you know what? I did all that stuff and more! I did it without too much trouble. My body does things now I never dreamed. I bench pressed 75 FREAKING pounds. I stood on the bosu-the half ball thing that "activates your core by creating instability when you stand on it" according to my trainer. I like to lovingly refer to it as the ball of terror as it is scary AND one of the many devices he pulls out when it's "ABD TIME" (he says in a cheery voice which makes me want to slug him). While standing on this thing, I did waist bends while lifting a 35 pound weight!

I can do 15 REAL PUSH UPS now. In less than 30 seconds. I can confidently walk into the "jungle" even when my trainer is not with me and use these contraptions without hurting myself or others. This has actually gained a little respect from some of the "gym rats" as I have actually been on the receiving end of a respectful nod after a set or two.

These are the little victories I hang on to when this whole thing seems so hard. I know there is no one actually reading this, but on the off chance, I hope you can find your "little victories" too. If so, please let me know about them. Then we can feel awesome and powerful together!