Well, I woke up this morning and stepped on the scale. No change yet. But, I thought I'd just give it a go with these new jeans. I'll be damned if they didn't fit. REALLY fit. I mean they aren't too tight. I can zip them and button them comfortably. They sit just below my waist. I still have a lot of flabby skin there, but it's not a nasty horrible muffin top. I really didn't think they'd fit. They looked so small to me this morning. The last time I was a real size 14, was when I was a freshman in college. That would be 1988-89. Holy shit!
So today I am wearing size 14 jeans. Jeans I DID NOT BUY at Lane Bryant. I am in shock and awe. I am also wearing a size 14 top with a 2X sweater because I have very few clothes that fit. I am actually liking the fact that everything in my closet fits or is too big. I've gotten rid of so much stuff and I'm enjoying not having to dig through clothes to find something to wear. I'm letting this seep into other areas of the house where I'm trying to down size. Next up is kid's playroom. Geez that place is a mess.
Today is on track food wise. For breakfast I had a little warmed up cranberry-apple crisp from last night. This was a recipe from Tami's blog that I made with splenda brown sugar. I didn't eat any last night because I was full from the copious fluids. So I saved it for this morning. It was super tasty warmed up. I also had 1 piece of light wheat toast, a turkey sausage and 1/4 cup egg substitute. Total was 298 calories.
Lunch was on the go since I had to get my hair done. I drove through Wendy's and got a small Chili and garden salad with light dressing. Calories were 305. Dinner was baked salmon, 1/2 cup rice and green peas with a fabulous salad. Spring Mix greens, yellow tomatoes, red bell peppers, cranberry orange goat cheese and a couple of pecans. Topped with red wine vinaigrette. YUMMY! Total calories were 1201. I've had 4-32oz glasses of water, my 16 oz coffee and 32 oz of diet lemonade.
I guess there are a lot of people struggling with the 1200 calorie thing. Let me tell you it does get better. I've been eating around this amount of calories for a while now. My weight loss got slowed down with the surgery 8 weeks ago and then there were times where I just ate too much and the wrong things. But, this works and it is doable. Since March 22 of this year I've lost 46 pounds. I've never ever ever ever ever ever lost that much weight before in my life. Ever. Here I am doing it every day. That's around 1.5 pounds a week average. Including the 4 weeks before surgery and the 8 weeks since.
I'm not taking any pills. I'm not buying special food. I'm not getting acupuncture. No hypnotism. No surgery. No laxatives. No program. Just me tracking my calories and exercising. And the water. Lots of that too. Here's the secret.....just stop eating crap. There you go. There it is. And I'd better get used to it. Crap food is over for me. That is clear. If I eat crap, I gain weight. If I eat healthy, I lose or maintain. I will never be able to eat like I did before. That's the bad news. You, if you are like me and been overweight your whole life, can NEVER eat the way you used to.
The truth is that I used to think that when I was thin I could eat what I wanted. If I would just lose the weight it would be great. I could go out to eat. Eat like my naturally thin friends. Truth was, if I had eaten like my naturally thin friends ate, I wouldn't have gotten so fat. Even thin people don't eat all that shit. Don't fool yourself. If they did, they'd be fat. Let go of the attachment to your old way of eating. It is standing in your way. Let go of "a little won't hurt." It does. IT REALLY DOES. Why? Because a little of this leads to a little of that leads to a touch of this and then before you know it you've had 1000calories. Those of us in the challenge know just how quickly calories add up. It amazes me to think I ate 2000calories a day or more at times. And those were the "good days". I always fooled myself into thinking I didn't eat that badly.
You know I ate veggies and fruit and healthy meats. I couldn't figure it out, why I never lost weight. Well, NOW I KNOW. I was eating all that healthy stuff and the bagel on the side or the hamburger or the pizza or the one cookie that tempted me. I guess I was big boned or had a thyroid problem or something. Or genetically my body just was storing more fat than others. I've told myself ALL those lies.
Now here's the good news.....I CAN BE THIN. I CAN. I CAN lose weight. I CAN do push ups and Tae Kwon Do and jog and jumping jacks and lift weights. I can shop in a regular store. I CAN be healthy. It isn't hopeless. It IS worth it. It is possible. And I never knew it before now. I never really believed it. But then I never REALLY tried either. Not really.
And you can too. You Can be thin. You CAN achieve your goals. You CAN be healthy. And all we have to do is eat healthy foods and move. Track your calories and move. And drink water. And I'm not hungry that much. I'm not. I eat great food and I stay full. And if I need a snack, I EAT ONE. And I count the calories. If I'm NOT hungry, I DON'T EAT. Even if I haven't had all my calories that day. I EAT WHEN I NEED TO NOT WHEN I WANT TO.
Sweet lord, if I ate every time I wanted to I'd weigh 500 pounds. And after a few months of doing this, I've found I want food less. It is just less of my life now. It isn't my priority. I used to wake up wondering what I'd eat for breakfast. Before I had put down the spoon from my 2 or 3 bowls of cereal, I was wondering what to eat for lunch. And I had already thought about dinner tonight, let alone tomorrow. I was never hungry. NEVER. Why? Because I was always eating. There were days where I guarantee you I had something to eat every 30 minutes. That's CRAZY. Absolutely nuts. No wonder I could never figure out what I wanted or was hungry for. I was NEVER really hungry.
Now I listen to my body and it tells me when to eat and drink. Now I err on the side of thirsty. I've learned when I am starting to feel hungry, I probably need to chug some water. Sure enough most of the time I'm not hungry for a long time after. Sometimes, I am hungry after and then I know it's time to snack. If I get hungry too soon after a meal, I think about what I just had. I analyze and try to learn from my mistakes. I've made plenty.
But, I love where I am now. Love it and I can't WAIT to see where I'll be next.
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| Me Feb 2010 in size 24s |
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| January 1, 2010 Size WOW! |
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| Me Today in Size 14s! |
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| Without the Too big Sweater |
