Secret Club. Is there a handshake?

So, yesterday my Aunt and my cousin arrived for the weekend. They brought her granddaughter who is about the same age as my middle daughter. The girls always have a blast and it's always good to see family. However, isn't it funny how family can react to your new lifestyle?

My Aunt is overweight. Well, obese. She always has been. She and several other family members had the stomach stapling procedure done in the 80s. All of them lost weight. All of them gained it back. She is a Coke addict. I mean...Coca Cola addict. She drinks several a day. Today I went home for lunch and she told me, "Well, I told your son that you're fired." I was confused. "There's no Coke in this house." And I laughed. Didn't mean to, but it struck me as funny. I told her I was sorry, but it didn't even occur to me, which it didn't. I don't drink the stuff anymore. I honestly don't really crave it. That is until someone reminds me about it. Thanks.

The kids were hanging out and swimming with our Nanny, while she and her son were watching a soap opera. I fixed my yummy lunch of a sliced tomato, 1/2 cup tuna salad, carrot sticks with ranch dressing and water. It was tasty. We started to talk about what to fix for dinner. I think I have previously mentioned how much I hate this conversation. It usually goes like this.... Them: I don't care. Me: How about chicken? Them: Nah. Chicken doesn't sound good. And it goes on like this until they finally say what they wanted in the first place. Ack.

This time I asked and she actually suggested chicken or steak. I peered into the freezer and found we didn't have enough chicken for the whole crew, but I did have some lean flank steak. I don't know about you, but I have a plethora (note interesting word choice, ha ha) of cook books. Many of them from previous diet plans. I did South Beach for a long time. Never lost much, but I like the overall idea of this diet, at least from a health standpoint and for cardiovascular health.

Some of my favorite healthy recipes are South Beach, so I pulled out the book and started on the marinade for the steak. I used some of our fresh herbs from out back, balsamic vinegar and olive oil, garlic and red onion. My Aunt comes in to the kitchen and says, "Oh, so you're doing South Beach again." My first inclination was to be irritated, but I just grinned while chopping my onion and said, "No. I'm not really following any diet. I'm just eating healthy foods and working out." The look on her face was truly priceless. She really looked confused. Poor thing. Her mom was queen of WW and died weighing probably 600 pounds.

She said, "Oh well, it's good you're trying to be healthy." But I could tell she really had no idea what I meant. To her, you're on a diet or your not. You're counting points or calories or eating some weird vegetable soup and cottage cheese. The idea that you wouldn't be ON a diet is confusing to her.

Maybe it will spark her to think about what that means. She knows I've lost weight. She knows I was swimming laps in the pool at 6:20 this am. Maybe she'll make a connection. But, in that moment I felt kinda sorry for her. And at the same time kinda special. Like I'm in on some kind of secret.

Which leads me to my question? Is this what thin people feel like when they look at me? Not the naturally thin ones who "can't gain weight", but the ones who watch what they eat and work out everyday. Is this how they've felt when I see them looking at me at the next table in a restaurant and I've just been delivered a brownie fudge sundae? Do they pity me? Do I irritate them for not figuring out THEIR secret? I know some of them feel superior. You can see it on their faces. I've never had this feeling before in my personal life. I've felt irritated or sympathetic to a patient when I know they're destroying their health by smoking or eating Twinkies when they're diabetic and just won't get it. Just won't stop.

But, I've never felt this feeling of being welcomed into a secret society. Where I know all these things that others don't. I don't know if I like it, or not. I've never felt judgmental of obese people because I know what it's like. But, now that I know you CAN change, I'm struggling with those feelings. I love that I'm changing in so many ways, but it feels weird sometimes. It's something I need to sort out. Have you ever felt this way? How do your family members react to your new life?

Monday Musings

Welcome to a wonderful new week!

Ok, so I'm trying a little too hard. Anyway, the weekend didn't turn out like I'd planned. My youngest was sick Friday and running a high temperature. That meant Mommy was up all night Friday with the sick kiddo. Luckily it seems to have been a transient virus and she's fine now, but it threw a wrench in my previously ambitious weekend schedule.

I had planned on going to the gym on Friday at lunch. But, I got the call about my 4 year old, so I had to go home to check on her instead. I had planned on getting up early Saturday morning and going to the park to do my C25K Week 5 Day2. Since, I restarted Week 5 after vacation and I really do want to get back on track with that. (Sorry for the pun.) The track there is 1.2 miles. I planned to do the program and then walk or jog until I'd done 3 laps. This all in preparation for a 5K (which I am still doing no matter what) in the fall.

However, no sleep combined with sick kiddo led to no exercise on Saturday. Same story for Sunday although I could probably have squeezed in a workout at home. I was frankly too tired and so I did not work out all weekend. I do not feel overly guilty for this because I am learning that there is no perfect diet or workout program any more than there is a perfect life. Some days go as planned, some don't.

I did well on the eating part all weekend and stayed in my calorie budget. I tried the Italian Sliders recipe from this blog. If you haven't checked out Biz's blog, you really should. She has so many great food ideas and the pictures are awesome. I, of course, added onion because there is no meal in my house with out one.(Biz hates onions) I ate mine without the bun and had an extra mini ear of corn cause they are sooooo tasty.

Last night I made wheat spaghetti with a marinara sauce I made with fresh yellow, red and green bell peppers and slices of the Italian sausages left from the above recipe. It was so tasty. And, I am so glad that my family has completely forgotten what pasta that isn't whole wheat tastes like. I didn't take any pictures as I am still getting used to the idea of that. I love blogs where people post a lot of pics so It's my goal to start doing that soon

On another note, I got a phone call from my Aunt letting me know that she'd like to come visit this week, which is great. Then the question, "Do you want me to bring some of those brownies you like with me." My response, "No!" I hope it didn't hurt her feelings, but I cannot pass up those brownies. They are from a bakery in my hometown and they are really good. I have trouble eating only one and having house guests sometimes makes it hard enough to make healthy choices. I told her thanks so much for thinking to ask, but that I was trying to avoid sweets. Like the rest of my family, she is overweight and knows that we all are always off and on diets. This didn't surprise her. At least she asked first, right?

I also got a call this weekend from my BFF. You may remember that I wrote about her after vacation last week. Well, she has joined a gym, (yeah!) has gotten the Lose it app for her iPhone (yeah!), and is following through. She is just starting out and I'm really proud of her for taking those first steps. I've sent her links to all my favorite blogs and I hope that helps her also.

In summary, I didn't get to do everything I wanted this weekend for workouts, but I didn't let it derail me completely. In the past, it probably would have. I don't know what it is that leaves me wanting everything to be perfect. But, it just never is. The house is never perfectly clean, something I learned after the birth of my first child. My work at the office is never totally done, but somehow I just come to work and do what I can each day. I've learned all I can do is my best everyday. Why can't I apply that same idea to my eating and exercise? After all, this is lifestyle change I am looking for not completing some perfect diet program. There just isn't any such thing.