This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

MIA? No just IA!

Sorry for the no posting. I am so freaking busy and overwhelmed lately. I'm sure you are tired of hearing that from me. I am totally surprised that it's been 13 days since I last posted. Sigh...I will try and recap and update you on what's been up.

Since last I wrote I've had an emotional time with my cousin's birthday and the first year since he died. I'm still struggling with his death and I feel so silly even typing that a year later, but it's just plain true. His birthday would have been the 18th and that weekend was rough. He would of been 41. I had a binge. I know it didn't help anything that we had a block party that night. There was a lot of food and temptation. I did all the right things-planned ahead, took something healthy, had a healthy snack before I went.  When I got there I felt like I was pretending to be happy, I felt guilty for being happy and then I made the mistake of having a margarita. There's nothing wrong with an occasional drink. I do it now and then, but bad timing for me with my guard down and already vulnerable and before I knew it I had 2 drinks and 3 cookies. This led to guilt the morning after and more sadness which led to more bad choices. I know what went wrong. I've worked through a lot of the issues.  I'm learning and it was the first binge in a long time. I'm moving forward.

Last week was busy, but better. I've been working out a lot as I move toward my brown belt test which is Saturday. Yikes! Last week I worked out every day, except Sunday when I rested. I've been eating well considering I have my in-laws visiting and I've been cooking for them and entertaining. They'll be here through this weekend. The holiday weekend was great. I cooked 10 pounds of beans or the annual boy scout BBQ. That's a LOT of beans. We fed about 1000 people. It was HOT. After we went home and hit the pool. Overall I'm happy with the way I've done on my diet. With all the distractions, I've done well.

Yesterday I went to 2 TKD classes. I burned over 1500 calories in exercise. I was STARVED last night at dinner. I had a huge salad, a small steak and veggies. I had watermelon for dessert. All week we have end of year activities with the kids. Yesterday was my baby's kindergarten graduation. Today was my 2nd grader and tomorrow is my 8th grader's graduation. Sniff sniff. Mommy's so proud and sad but I'm too busy to think a whole lot about it.

Saturday is my brown belt test. It will likely last about 4-5hours. I'll be on the move for most of that time. I really feel ready. I know the material. I'm just a little worried about my left knee that I tweaked while gardening. Oh yeah.....the garden is coming in and we have some great tomatoes and cucumbers coming up. So anyway, I figure I just have to demonstrate the material. I know the sparring will be hard and suck and I'll likely get beat up, but I'm ok with it. I don't have to win a match, just survive it. I also have to break a board with my hand this time and one with a kick. Should be fun.

Speaking of fun, I ordered the P90X. I'm looking forward to starting it, but I'm going to wait until after my vacation so I don't have to interrupt the program. Until then, I'm training for TKD, seeing my trainer and the usual workouts. I'm up to 30 push ups which I think is fabulous considering I couldn't do 5 when I started. Yesterday we did 150 crunches in the first class and 90 in the other. I did 30 push ups in the first class and 15 in the other. My arms were burning. This morning I was only a little stiff in the hamstring and I stretched it out. I feel better. I didn't get my workout at lunch because of work and it pissed me off. Tonight I'll practice TKD and stretch at least. Tomorrow I'll do at least one class and 2 if I can. I'm actually in pretty good shape for a fat chick.

This weekend we tried something new on the grill- pineapple. I just cut off the skin, rubbed a little cinnamon and brown sugar and slapped it on there. OMG what an AWESOME dessert. It was sooo good and the kids LOVED it.

We have a leak in our roof, but we're not sure where. The last 2 nights we've had storms and we have had water coming in around our ceiling fan in the bedroom. We can't figure out how the water is getting in. It's annoying and I haven't slept very well the last several nights.

Oh yeah. Did I mention my in-laws are here? So I'm tired and I'm rambling and that's about it for now. I really want to get back to more regular posts. I feel like I'm the hamster on the wheel and the wheel just goes faster and faster!

I've been reading and catching up on all your blogs today. Stay the course and move my friends. I'll let you know how the rest of the week and the test goes. I'm so nervous!


  1. Just a normal week seems so busy for you - I can't imagine all the extras you've been dealing with on top of that!

    I have to say, your binge sounds not all that bad - I know you probably felt out of control, but probably compared to how things used to be, this wasn't awful. Still, I'm sorry that you were feeling so bad about your cousin. :(

    Good luck with your TEST! You are strong, you are awesome, and you are going to pass with flying colors!!!

  2. I know you have a crazy busy life, so am never too worried when you are not blogging. The fact of the matter is that I know you will do this. I know you know how. I know you will not quit. This is for life.

    Good luck on that test!! Enjoy those kids ever minute you can. They'll be gone before you know it....

  3. I don't know how you do all you do Ann. I'm so sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your cousins passing. It's tough to lose the ones we love.

    Your grilled pineapple is a delicious healthy dessert, how great that your children enjoyed it as well.

    Keep on keeping on, you are doing great!

  4. You can do it! It's a big thing that your brown belt test is coming right up. You've come so far. You've got a lot on your plate now, so take it as easy as you can. Love the pineapple recipe, I'm going to adopt that one--the cinnamon sounds like a great addition. Stay cool.

  5. I'll be eagerly awaiting a detailed P90X report! I asked for and got it for Christmas over a year ago and then couldn't start because of my hernia. One thing led to another led to it still sitting in the box:(

  6. Your hectic life is so amazing to me! Please don't apologize for not blogging. The last thing any of us need is blogger's guilt.
    Blog when YOU need to. (Trust me, I've needed to and didn't, which is different from being too busy.)

    Pre-med yourself with acetaminophen or your fave NSAID before your brown belt test. Keep that knee going. Can't wait to hear about it.


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