This blog is an accounting of my personal journey to find fitness. All the content on this blog should be read as a biographical piece of literature, not a medical resource. I am a physician, but I am in no way giving medical advice or establishing doctor patient relationships with my readers. I am simply keeping a diary. If you are starting a diet or exercise program or require medical evaluation or advice, please see your own family physician.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Cliff Note Version on My Life Lately

Last week I sat down and wrote this really awesome post. I did it on my iphone with the app. Shoulda known better. I've see trouble with that thing in the past and lost posts. And again I did lose it, so here I am trying to re-write it and then I just gave up and started over on a completely new one.

First let me say I've missed everyone. I've been just so overwhelmed and busy. There have been so many things going on that have led to my not being able nor motivated to post, but somewhere last week I realized that I miss this place. I miss purging my brain of bothersome thoughts or happy ones for that matter. I miss sharing what's happening with my friends here. Now maybe that makes me weird or pathetic, but the truth is I'm happier when I'm blogging. So I'm back, at least as back as I can. I've decided to get you updated on where I'm at now and what's been happening since my last post in November. Yikes that's a while ago.

1. My weight is the same as it was last post. I was up and I'm back down. I think this issue is part of the reason I haven't been back sooner. Then I realized that being away from blogging makes it worse. I'm here now. I'm moving forward.

2. My depression is much better. I'm on the right meds now, I think. I even avoided my SAD time this year which was great. Especially considering the emormous stress I've been under.

3. I'm still working out and doing taekwondo. I can't tell you how proud I am of myself for this fact. I was out of TKD for 2 weeks over the holiday as the gym was closed. I had also hurt my knee a little. I have a quadriceps tendonitis which I'm nursing. I'm sure this is exacerbated by my weight gain and the increased kicking and jumping at class, but it's getting better. I'm really trying to get back to P90X, but I'm waiting until after next week's test. I have a biggie coming up.....red belt.

In case you're wondering the order is brown, red, red-black and then black. So after this test I'll have just one belt and then black. It's a big deal. There is so much maerial, but I love it as much as ever. I'll admit that there have been times with my depression that I was down and even considered quitting, because I was so upset with myself for gaining weight. BUT I realized that quiting was NOT an option. Not by any means. So here I am, fat girl doing the 360 jump axe kicks and 360 jump back kicks and all the other stuff.

4. I got an elliptical for Christmas. My schedule has been super crazy which I'll discuss more in a bit, but getting to the gym has been a nightmare. Now I have my own elliptical and I can hop on anytime. And in case you're wondering, yes I AM actually using it. Although I've been doing 4-5 classes a week of TKD leading up to the test next week.

5. The office has been completely nuts. Nearly unmanagable with the flu season. It's the worst I've seen since I've been in practice, but luckily it is starting to calm down. Add the extra business and usual chaos and my work has been overwhelming. Sometimes I really wish I did not own my practice. There are definite cons to being the boss sometimes.

6.  My son is still a teenager.  He has his first girlfriend. Sigh.......
7. My girls are still busy and silly and handfuls.
8. My Sooners kinda suck.
9. My Cowboys definitely suck.
10. My Mavs suck.
11. My Rangers are....stagnant.

12. I was sick with the flu just before Christmas. Then I got a sinus infection that led to asthma and steroids and such. Then a stomach bug. I'm tired of being sick lately.

13. I'm glad the election is over. I'm tired of hearing about guns.

14. I've been desparately trying to declutter my house. It's getting there. Sometimes I swear there's a clutter fairy who brings more junk in the middle of the night.

15. The holidays were good. I had a house full of guests from 12/21/12-1/3/13. See above regarding clutter.

16. The biggest and most stressful thing happening these days is that my Nanny of nearly 11 years had to go back to Italy. I diagnosed her husband with cancer the day after Christmas. It was sudden and unexpected and very serious. He didn't have insurance so they went back to Italy to get treatment. (I won't evern get started on how messed up our medical system is in this country that a man who has worked here for nearly 20 years paying taxes and got laid off now has to leave the country for healthcare.) After so long, they are both like our family. It has been devastating. My girls cried for 2 hours when we told them. I diagnosed him and they were gone 4 days later. It has been so hard on my kids and it breaks my heart for Nanny and her family. It's so hard not being able to do something. She is truly one of my closest friends and I miss her terribly.  My kids miss her so much and it breaks my heart every time they ask when she'll be back. She and hopefully he will be back, we just don't know when. Their life is here and all of their kids and grandkids are here.  We try to email and we've talked on the phone a few times, but the 7 hour time difference is very hard. I hope to connect with them by Skype this week.

On a practical note not having help at home has been awful. The girls are in after school care. My mom picks up son from school every day. There is no bus to our neighborhood. The rule is 2 miles. Of course sometimes he walks, but 2 miles is a long way to carry a French Horn and back pack full of books.  My husband has changed his work schedule some and works at home some days. He also gets home a bit earlier. I definitely don't have the time for the gym and workouts I used to. I'm still squeezing them in, but it is way harder. I get up early and instead of a workout I have to do laundry and house work. The kids and hubby help a lot, but there are somethings only I can really do. Most days I don't get home until 6pm and then it's dinner, etc. Nanny used to cook several days a week.
On the bright sider, our family is pulling together and helping each other out. It's forced us into meal planning because I refuse to go back to eating out like we used to.  I don't sit much anymore because there is just no time to. 

You'd think I would've lost more weight with all this going on. I know my eating has been marginal at times. I haven't been tracking like I should and I'm turing it around. I did track all last week and lost weight. Duh. Eating right and exercise and you'll lose weight. I think part of it is the stress and I haven't been sleeping like I should. Most of it is my eating and I'm really working to reign that in.

Today, I'm super tired. I haven't slept well the last few nights. I had a particularly stressful week last week at work and that combined with the mild back strain I suffered at TKD on Friday kept me up a bit. I'm going home at lunch to lie on the ice pack.  I have to be up for class tomorrow so in addition to the ice I will be doing some mild stretching and a few minutes on the elliptical no necessarily in that order. I also have to swing by the store to pick up some milk as my kid's heads will explode if we don't have it.

Hope you all have a good Monday. I'm sure glad to be back. I've been reading and lurking all along. Drop me a line and let me know what's up. BTW thanks SOOOOOOOOOO much to those of you who left comments asking where I've been and checking on me. It meant a lot and it's a big reason I'm back now. So many thanks. You know who you are.


  1. Welcome back!

    I am the same way. I NEED my blog to help me retain a bit of a grip on things. I tend to not blog when I start to fail but not blogging only helps perpetuate the negative habits.

    I was the same way with zumba. I was gaining weight, but there I was at zumba jumping and kicking and doing things that a much smaller person could do. I think that's what is making my weight loss this time around go much easier...because I was in a decent shape to begin with.

  2. I loved hearing from you Dr. F., so please keep coming back to the blog forum. It sounds like life has been a mixed bag for you, but one thing that is consistent is that you are very, very busy. I know what that is like, and I think the blog will keep you grounded. I am not blogging as much as I was, because I seemed to simply run out of things to say, at least for the time being. But I still come back to read and occasionally post. Something inside seems to need this contact with others who know what we're talking about. Who knows, this may be our year to achieve our weight loss goals. We can do this, because we have done many hard things before in our lives. Take care...

  3. It's so good to hear from you again! I was worried about you...and thought of you often. I seldom comment, and don't have a blog myself, but have followed you for some time. I'm sorry about Nanny & her husband...that must be very hard on not only them with the health problems, etc., but you and your family as well. Good luck w/your test coming up. Blog when you can...we'll be here waiting to hear from you!


  4. I knew you were around because I've seen you post on FB, but I'm very happy that your're back to blogging.

    So sorry to hear that your Nanny had to leave - I know how much you relied on her, and it was very obvious that she played a huge part of your family life. I hope her husband's health improves and they both can return soon.

    I'm super impressed that you've been able to keep up with your TKD classes. The energy you show to do them AFTER working full-time is very inspiring.

    As for football...um, how 'bout those Aggies? ;) Finally, a good season. And then some - Heismanziel!

  5. Well, you finally figured it out about the Cowboys. ;-)

    Glad to hear from you! Crazy story about your nanny's husband. You're right about health care availability. So disappointing.

    Glad to see your weight is back down to where we last heard. Let's keep going with this thing.

  6. I'm glad you're back but so sorry to hear about your Nanny :( I'm also sad to hear they've had to leave the country so he can get adequate treatment.

    The American medical model has issues. /understatementoftheyear

    In happier news, I'm tickled to hear about your near-promotion to red belt. How cool is that!

    Keep on. Life happens, we just have to manage our responses to it (sayeth the woman who put on FOURTEEN pounds between December 3rd and January 7th).

    Missed you!

  7. I missed you! Don't you love how I left stalker comments? Seriously though, I am glad your back, if nothing other than the fact that the blog is your space and your time.

    My husband, while sociable, really doesn't like going to parties, standing around etc. He has bad knees and standing or going up lots of stairs is not his cup of tea. That's why I love all my "blog friends" - they keep me really social!

    Sending hugs your ways - so sorry to hear about your Nanny - it is messed up. I have $875 taken out of my paychecks for health insurance per month, and we still spend $300 - $400 a month on meds for us. So crazy!


  8. Add me to the list of folks who have missed you! What a tragic story about your nanny and her husband. It would be like missing part of your family. I do hope his health improves and they can return.

    It's great to see you posting again and I wish you all the best!

  9. Wow! You are navigating a lot, very well. Hang in there. Hope your nanny can return at some point. So sad.

    Good luck with TKD. Hope you feel better soon.

  10. Welcome back to your friendly blogosphere. When your sports teams are down, your blogofriends can be up.
    I enjoy your posts and like to mention them on my blog talk radio show. Some fun we are having at Dr Synonymous, by the way, includes the Didgeridoo Hulabaloo to eliminate snoring in Bellbrook, OH and surrounding area. Blog on! apj

  11. I am glad you are back and I am back too!
    Blogging makes everything better!
    Onward and downward!

  12. Good to see you blogging again. It helps de-stress our minds when we have someone to share our thoughts with in tough times. Sorry to hear about the nanny leaving. I hope to hear more from you since I really draw a lot of positives from reading your posts.

    Brandon Pepper

  13. I felling great that you are back again!
    You always bought some great ideas.It's great to see you posting again and I wish you all the best!Thanks for great post

    UK Gym

  14. Hi,
    I am glad you posted an update. It is very nice to know hat things are looking brighter for you in many areas of your life. I know you will not quit this getting healthier journey. It is your time, even if it takes longer than you ever thought. You are doing it!

    You have great commitment via the TKD. How wonderful it must feel to be advancing brought the belts. You found a physical activity that you love and somehow manage to squeeze in. That is inspiring to all of us.

    Stay strong and committed to you ! Michele


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