Well, my elbow is much better today. I can actually move it now. But, this morning was a different story.
I got up, or I should say WOKE up at 6am like usual. I laid there awake, like I had been for an hour, taking inventory of my aches and pains. Lets see: arm hurts, hand hurts, elbow hurts from injection yesterday. Both legs hurt, both feet hurt. Left arm is ok. No headache. Then, I tried to decide if I should chance working out. I knew I couldn't do walking or running-legs too sore from yesterday and the elbow hanging down and swinging-no go. Then I thought about biking. I think my legs actually giggled at the thought. They're like, "Yeah right, go ahead and give it a try, see where it gets ya." Then I thought, maybe a swim, but again with the sore arm and legs.
I opted not to exercise. I was having a war with myself. I really WANTED to, but I knew if I tried I was going to be hurting big time. There is no shame in a rest day, right? Instead of working out, I got up and read blogs, wrote a post, and caught up on all my work. Turned out great actually because I knew I wouldn't have time to catch up at lunch.
Speaking of lunch....went to lunch with a friend today. It's rare I have time to do this, so it was nice. She is going through a divorce and needed some support. It was a nice visit. We ate at a new place in town that has all kinds of burgers. I picked it knowing that they'd have some good choices. I had the turkey burger on whole wheat bun w/ mustard.
I only ate 1/2 the bun thought. I finished up the other 1/2 burger and toppings with my fork. Less mess that way anyway. No cheese, of course.Lately, I generally forgo the cheese. I used to love the greasy cheesy burger, but now I realize it's so much more fat and calories. And, all you end up tasting is the cheese. The turkey was fab! It was seasoned w/ fresh herbs and moist. We shared a basket of sweet potato fries, but I only ate 6-7 of them, they were long and crunchy. YUMMY! I had a small side salad, dressing on the side of course and I left about 1/2 as it was too big. Overall I calculated I had 350 calories which isn't bad for a lunch out and I was stuffed.
This afternoon a drug rep brought strawberry cheesecake and shortcake for the office. I loves me some cheesecake. But, it's a no no. TOOOO much fat. Instead, I took the strawberry shortcake and just pulled the strawberries out, minimizing the whip cream so that I had pretty much plain strawberries. I threw the cake and cream in the trash. Score one for healthy choices.
My arm is much better and I think I'll go home to the pool for a swim. Too damn hot here in Texas to do anything but swim or sit in the AC. If you have a working one. We've had power outages and I know so many who've had trouble with theirs. We had to have a minor repair on 2 of our units this summer. I think the heat is making people crazy. There were 4 accidents and broken down cars my husband encountered yesterday on his hour long drive which was 50% longer. It's the heat. Makes people nutso.
Tomorrow I'm taking my Mom shopping and to a movie at the Gold Class cinema for her birthday, which was yesterday. If you haven't been to one and have one in your area, you really need to! It has recliners-big ones, cushy chairs, full restaurant and bar service. They'll even bring you a pillow or warm blanket if you get cold. It really is first class. Cue me the martini. I know alcohol, bad for the diet, but sometimes I just want some refreshments, catch my drift? They have a great house salad and other relatively decent choices. AND they show the calories of most of their food. Nice.
Hope each of you is looking forward to a good weekend. Hope you're planning ahead for possible pitfalls. Planning ahead gives you the one up on the raging beast "CRAVINGS".
Friday, August 13, 2010
OUCH! That hurt.
Wednesday turned out pretty nicely. I am so amazed at how much better my moods are lately. I don't know if it's all the exercise or eating healthy, but I have such a more positive outlook on my life. And that's a big deal for me. I've struggled with depression since my teen years. It runs in my family. But, now I actually wake up with a smile on my face. Huh. Something else to ponder.
Anyway, Wednesday I got up and rode my bike(my stationary) 7.5 miles. Then I did my one armed push ups girlie style, well...I did ONE real one. Damn that's hard. Eating was good.
Yesterday, I didn't work out in the morning knowing I would be training with the trainer at lunch. Usually, I would do cardio in the am, but my legs were still sore from my long run on Tuesday and biking Wednesday am. I knew better. And, as much as the Trainer costs, I want to maximize that workout every time. My son joined me for my session. Can I just say how cool it is to workout with your kid? I don't remember ever doing that with my Mom. Dad was just generally yelling at me to go walk so I wouldn't be so fat. After my son said, "Mom that was fun, can I come next week?" You bet, little dude.
The workout was rough, I have to say. We did legs since my elbow is still screwed up. I warmed up with 15min on the elliptical. Usually it would be 30-45, but I ran late from the office. Doctor's life is all I can say. After that here's what the trainer had us do:
1) Weighted squats: 18#bar and red bands-2 sets of 25
2) Leg presses: I did 80#, 2 sets of 25
2)Side step squats w/ red band on our feet-Not sure how many. We walked across the gym and back
3)Hamstring lifts:30#, 2 sets of 20 each leg
4)Bosu crunches: 2 sets of 30
5) Bosu lunges: One foot on the bosu you forward lunge then backward- 20 each leg
6) Not sure what these are called but they hurt: Put your foot in this harness thing attached to cable w/ weight. Stand on 1 leg while kicking the other w/ the weight. Ouch. 20 each leg
7)Superman lifts (Or what I call Wonder Woman lifts): Stand on the evil contraption where your feet are up on a platform ,there's a padded bar at your hips, hang up side down from the waist and lift your torso up and down with arms over head, 2 sets of 20
8)Weighted reverse lunge: 2 sets 25 with 75# weight on the shoulders
9)The worstest of the worstest, Calf busters: walk down flight of stairs. ON the way up stand w/ heels hanging off the stair. Lift heels 10 times. Once w/ heel straight, then heel pointed out, then heel pointed in. Do this all the way up the flight of stairs. OMG. It hurts. Feels like the worst charlie horse ever. But, I did it.
Food yesterday was pretty good. Came in at around 1400 cals, but with the 600 I burned at lunch, my net cals were 800. I ate more than usual at lunch yesterday. I was hot and hungry after that workout. I stopped at the frozen yogurt place and had my strawberry-banana yogurt w/ berries which was 225 cals, then I had 2 string cheese for protein 160 cals. Then I had 2 afternoon snacks of fruit and lots and lots of water.
I drink so much water and I cannot believe how much I love the stuff. I always used to think I didn't like it. BS. I just liked the coke I drank better. Now I'm the complete opposite. I'd much rather have cold water than anything. I drink at least 4 32oz glasses each day, sometimes more. There are days where I'm not as much in the mood. Those days I just take a break and say, "Ok, time to chug." Usually this is when I notice myself start to feel grumpy, tired, hungry when I shouldn't be, or especially if I feel I'm getting a migraine. Can you believe my migraines are probably 1/2 what they were a few months ago? The only time I've had them this summer is when a front moves through. I used to get them every few days. Bright light is one of my triggers and I live in North Texas so bad combo.
Yesterday wrapped up with me getting a shot in my elbow. OUCH! Oh. My. God. I'll be a lot more sensitive to patients when I give these from now on. Elbow is a painful shot compared to larger joints like knees or shoulders. I tried to figure out a way to give it to myself, but it's my right elbow and I figured that was a bad idea, right? So a friend of mine whose an Ortho did it. Ack! I was fine once the numbing medicine kicked in and I thought, wow that's better. Then it wore off during the drive home. By the time I got home I couldn't really move my arm or hand. Not good since I'm right handed.
Luckily, my nanny (god bless her) had started dinner. I couldn't chop anything or open the oven door, so my son helped me by preparing the fish I wanted to bake while I gave instructions. He loves to cook and enjoys learning. He's the "grub master" for his patrol this weekend on his big camp out and he is so excited. He'll be shopping for them on a budget and cooking the food. They're going to Slippery Falls up in Oklahoma, southeast. Should be a blast if it weren't for the heat, but they'll spend most of their time in the cold streams and falls.
Anyway...all I did last night was lay around with an ice pack. I didn't sleep too well. But, if I can get back to my workouts, it'll all be worth it. I miss my push ups. I'm really good at them. It makes me feel so strong and athletic (yeah 217 pounds of athlete. Guess I could play woman's NFL. I'd love that. Had a patient once who did that, but I digress..) There have been several times where people, both men and women, have said "wow you're working out hard." I just got the app for the iPhone called 100 pushups. They have one that's 200 situps, I want to get that next. But, I can't start that until the elbow is better, maybe next week.
So, without even realizing it I've set some fitness goals. ME. I HAVE FITNESS GOALS. Hard to imagine. But, I'm excited. I want to be able to run a 5K. The whole thing. I'm not ready yet, but I'm trying. I want to be able to do 200 sit ups and 100 push ups. And I want to do P90X all the way through. I've been looking at getting it on ebay. Have any of you done it? Did you like it? Was it worth the money? I know I can't do chin ups yet, but I know you can use a band.
What are your fitness goals? I've never had them before. It's always been about the scale. Always. I really like changing the focus from my eating and the numbers on the scale to fitness. It's a total change for me and I think it's doing me some good mentally. I'm not thinking about weighing all day. What about you?
How much water do you drink? Have you noticed positive changes in you since you started down this road? I'm talking about non weight loss or size changes, like me with my mood and migraines. I think it's very interesting that I'm having this shift in my thinking from the numbers on the scale to the other stuff. After all, the numbers won't go down forever and I am realizing that when my focus is on the healthy stuff, the numbers reflect that anyway.
Have a super Friday! I'm going out to lunch with a friend today, a rare treat! But, I have a plan. I'll share more later.
Anyway, Wednesday I got up and rode my bike(my stationary) 7.5 miles. Then I did my one armed push ups girlie style, well...I did ONE real one. Damn that's hard. Eating was good.
Yesterday, I didn't work out in the morning knowing I would be training with the trainer at lunch. Usually, I would do cardio in the am, but my legs were still sore from my long run on Tuesday and biking Wednesday am. I knew better. And, as much as the Trainer costs, I want to maximize that workout every time. My son joined me for my session. Can I just say how cool it is to workout with your kid? I don't remember ever doing that with my Mom. Dad was just generally yelling at me to go walk so I wouldn't be so fat. After my son said, "Mom that was fun, can I come next week?" You bet, little dude.
The workout was rough, I have to say. We did legs since my elbow is still screwed up. I warmed up with 15min on the elliptical. Usually it would be 30-45, but I ran late from the office. Doctor's life is all I can say. After that here's what the trainer had us do:
1) Weighted squats: 18#bar and red bands-2 sets of 25
2) Leg presses: I did 80#, 2 sets of 25
2)Side step squats w/ red band on our feet-Not sure how many. We walked across the gym and back
3)Hamstring lifts:30#, 2 sets of 20 each leg
4)Bosu crunches: 2 sets of 30
5) Bosu lunges: One foot on the bosu you forward lunge then backward- 20 each leg
6) Not sure what these are called but they hurt: Put your foot in this harness thing attached to cable w/ weight. Stand on 1 leg while kicking the other w/ the weight. Ouch. 20 each leg
7)Superman lifts (Or what I call Wonder Woman lifts): Stand on the evil contraption where your feet are up on a platform ,there's a padded bar at your hips, hang up side down from the waist and lift your torso up and down with arms over head, 2 sets of 20
8)Weighted reverse lunge: 2 sets 25 with 75# weight on the shoulders
9)The worstest of the worstest, Calf busters: walk down flight of stairs. ON the way up stand w/ heels hanging off the stair. Lift heels 10 times. Once w/ heel straight, then heel pointed out, then heel pointed in. Do this all the way up the flight of stairs. OMG. It hurts. Feels like the worst charlie horse ever. But, I did it.
Food yesterday was pretty good. Came in at around 1400 cals, but with the 600 I burned at lunch, my net cals were 800. I ate more than usual at lunch yesterday. I was hot and hungry after that workout. I stopped at the frozen yogurt place and had my strawberry-banana yogurt w/ berries which was 225 cals, then I had 2 string cheese for protein 160 cals. Then I had 2 afternoon snacks of fruit and lots and lots of water.
I drink so much water and I cannot believe how much I love the stuff. I always used to think I didn't like it. BS. I just liked the coke I drank better. Now I'm the complete opposite. I'd much rather have cold water than anything. I drink at least 4 32oz glasses each day, sometimes more. There are days where I'm not as much in the mood. Those days I just take a break and say, "Ok, time to chug." Usually this is when I notice myself start to feel grumpy, tired, hungry when I shouldn't be, or especially if I feel I'm getting a migraine. Can you believe my migraines are probably 1/2 what they were a few months ago? The only time I've had them this summer is when a front moves through. I used to get them every few days. Bright light is one of my triggers and I live in North Texas so bad combo.
Yesterday wrapped up with me getting a shot in my elbow. OUCH! Oh. My. God. I'll be a lot more sensitive to patients when I give these from now on. Elbow is a painful shot compared to larger joints like knees or shoulders. I tried to figure out a way to give it to myself, but it's my right elbow and I figured that was a bad idea, right? So a friend of mine whose an Ortho did it. Ack! I was fine once the numbing medicine kicked in and I thought, wow that's better. Then it wore off during the drive home. By the time I got home I couldn't really move my arm or hand. Not good since I'm right handed.
Luckily, my nanny (god bless her) had started dinner. I couldn't chop anything or open the oven door, so my son helped me by preparing the fish I wanted to bake while I gave instructions. He loves to cook and enjoys learning. He's the "grub master" for his patrol this weekend on his big camp out and he is so excited. He'll be shopping for them on a budget and cooking the food. They're going to Slippery Falls up in Oklahoma, southeast. Should be a blast if it weren't for the heat, but they'll spend most of their time in the cold streams and falls.
Anyway...all I did last night was lay around with an ice pack. I didn't sleep too well. But, if I can get back to my workouts, it'll all be worth it. I miss my push ups. I'm really good at them. It makes me feel so strong and athletic (yeah 217 pounds of athlete. Guess I could play woman's NFL. I'd love that. Had a patient once who did that, but I digress..) There have been several times where people, both men and women, have said "wow you're working out hard." I just got the app for the iPhone called 100 pushups. They have one that's 200 situps, I want to get that next. But, I can't start that until the elbow is better, maybe next week.
So, without even realizing it I've set some fitness goals. ME. I HAVE FITNESS GOALS. Hard to imagine. But, I'm excited. I want to be able to run a 5K. The whole thing. I'm not ready yet, but I'm trying. I want to be able to do 200 sit ups and 100 push ups. And I want to do P90X all the way through. I've been looking at getting it on ebay. Have any of you done it? Did you like it? Was it worth the money? I know I can't do chin ups yet, but I know you can use a band.
What are your fitness goals? I've never had them before. It's always been about the scale. Always. I really like changing the focus from my eating and the numbers on the scale to fitness. It's a total change for me and I think it's doing me some good mentally. I'm not thinking about weighing all day. What about you?
How much water do you drink? Have you noticed positive changes in you since you started down this road? I'm talking about non weight loss or size changes, like me with my mood and migraines. I think it's very interesting that I'm having this shift in my thinking from the numbers on the scale to the other stuff. After all, the numbers won't go down forever and I am realizing that when my focus is on the healthy stuff, the numbers reflect that anyway.
Have a super Friday! I'm going out to lunch with a friend today, a rare treat! But, I have a plan. I'll share more later.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
You Can Wish in One Hand ......
In dedication to our friend Jack Sh*t I've been working on this song. After his bloggers need to be creative post yesterday, I thought I'd finish it up. So if it sucks, blame him.
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
If all you do is stand and wish
Dreams WON'T come true
It takes work and sacrifice
To make weight loss dreams come out nice
Your weight won't drop a single pound
Unless you try
Scales are unkind
They bring to those who overeat
The sad fulfillment of
Their secret snacking
If you track and if you move
Your hard work will see you through
When you do the things you should
Weight loss dreams come true
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
If all you do is stand and wish
Dreams WON'T come true
It takes work and sacrifice
To make weight loss dreams come out nice
Your weight won't drop a single pound
Unless you try
Scales are unkind
They bring to those who overeat
The sad fulfillment of
Their secret snacking
If you track and if you move
Your hard work will see you through
When you do the things you should
Weight loss dreams come true
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Wednesday Weigh-in
Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day. Monday at lunch I had planned to go to the gym. Alas, I didn't get to because of work and kids. So, Monday night I swam 500meters and did poolside crunches. Skipping once again the push ups because of my stupid elbow. And it's the right one. Bummer.
But, yesterday I took advantage of my husband working from home and was able to go for a run outside. He works an hour away so I'm usually home with the kids in the mornings until my nanny arrives around 8am. Yesterday he was home because he had to take our son to pick up his schedule at school and do various back to school stuff.
Running is soooo awesome. It's hard. It hurts. I sweat. I want to stop every time part of the way through. But it feels so good when I keep going and push myself and finish. I did the Week 6 day 3 of C25K yesterday. That's 5min warm up walk, 25 minute run, then 5 minute coll down. That's right I RAN FOR TWENTY FIVE MINUTES!!!! Never ever ever ever ever have I done that before and I felt so freakin proud.
Here's the trail behind my house yesterday am. So peaceful.
After my run and stretching, I was starved and thirsty. Since hubbie was home, I whipped up some scrambled egg whites with onion, bell pepper, tomatoes and onions with a little canadian bacon. I had a small serving with 2 pieces of light wheat toast sprayed with Parkay spray. One the side I had a small serving of my homemade fruit salad. I love having a variety of foods, especially in the morning. Makes me feel like I have my own personal breakfast buffet. Total was 303 cals, including my coffee with the light creamer.
Lunch was string cheese, and a banana which I ate on the go since I had to run and pick up my son, take him home, run back to his school to straighten out the confusion on whether I'd already paid for his school supplies (which I had), then run back to the office. The afternoon was busy so I missed my snacks and I'd only had the 265 calories at lunch. So by 5:00pm I was starving, my stomach was growling. I mean this was WAY beyond a "rumbly in my tumbly" like Pooh Bear gets. This was, I wanted to eat my desk, full on hunger roaring.
Luckily, I pack my little bag of snacks every day.
Sometimes I just eat the various things as my lunch, others they become my snacks. Sometimes I don't eat them all, but this way I always, always have healthy alternative foods because there are always, ALWAYS bad choices available in the office. Yesterday alone we had bagels, cookies, and some kind of fruit mini danish brought in. You'd think people would bring healthy stuff to doctors, but they don't.
Yesterday I had packed more fruit salad and an apple. I ate the fruit salad at my desk while I finished up the paperwork (or more accurately computer work since I do all electronic charts). Then on the way home I drank a big ole 32 ounces of ice water as I do every day and had the apple. I've found that drinking water and having a snack on the way home stops me from being overly hungry when I walk in the door and either grabbing the first thing I see to eat or "tasting" everything I'm cooking.
Last night's dinner was tacos made from the taco salad left overs from Sunday.
I had 3 along with 7 baked Tostitos and Salsa and this wrapped up dinner at 573 calories. Meals and snacks came in at total 1441 calories for the day. With my run burning 406, my net was 1034. Pretty good overall.
This am I got up and rode my bike 7.5 miles. I picked one of the harder rides and maybe the day after a long run isn't the time to do that? My legs were burning! After I did crunches on my balance ball. Still unable to do push-ups, I thought I'd be Miss Warrior Girl and try one armed ones. Ok, soooo not ready to do that. I did one. Which I find amazing. Then I did TEN girlie ONE ARMED PUSH UPs. Take that skinny bitches.
The weigh in this am was good. I lost .2 pounds which doesn't sound like much except that I posted an early weigh-in on Friday showing a loss of 2.4 sooooo my total loss this week is 2.6 pounds! Yeah! Especially considering the birthday party pitfalls I faced this week AND out of town guests. Yeah me! I am only 5.6 pounds from my first goal of 212pounds, which is the lowest weight I've weighed in the last 10 years.
How's your week going? How do you handle snacks? Do you even eat them? If so what? I've found snacks are absolutely essential. In fact, it's time for one now. Gotta go work! Have a great Wednesday!
But, yesterday I took advantage of my husband working from home and was able to go for a run outside. He works an hour away so I'm usually home with the kids in the mornings until my nanny arrives around 8am. Yesterday he was home because he had to take our son to pick up his schedule at school and do various back to school stuff.
Running is soooo awesome. It's hard. It hurts. I sweat. I want to stop every time part of the way through. But it feels so good when I keep going and push myself and finish. I did the Week 6 day 3 of C25K yesterday. That's 5min warm up walk, 25 minute run, then 5 minute coll down. That's right I RAN FOR TWENTY FIVE MINUTES!!!! Never ever ever ever ever have I done that before and I felt so freakin proud.
Here's the trail behind my house yesterday am. So peaceful.
After my run and stretching, I was starved and thirsty. Since hubbie was home, I whipped up some scrambled egg whites with onion, bell pepper, tomatoes and onions with a little canadian bacon. I had a small serving with 2 pieces of light wheat toast sprayed with Parkay spray. One the side I had a small serving of my homemade fruit salad. I love having a variety of foods, especially in the morning. Makes me feel like I have my own personal breakfast buffet. Total was 303 cals, including my coffee with the light creamer.
Lunch was string cheese, and a banana which I ate on the go since I had to run and pick up my son, take him home, run back to his school to straighten out the confusion on whether I'd already paid for his school supplies (which I had), then run back to the office. The afternoon was busy so I missed my snacks and I'd only had the 265 calories at lunch. So by 5:00pm I was starving, my stomach was growling. I mean this was WAY beyond a "rumbly in my tumbly" like Pooh Bear gets. This was, I wanted to eat my desk, full on hunger roaring.
Luckily, I pack my little bag of snacks every day.
Sometimes I just eat the various things as my lunch, others they become my snacks. Sometimes I don't eat them all, but this way I always, always have healthy alternative foods because there are always, ALWAYS bad choices available in the office. Yesterday alone we had bagels, cookies, and some kind of fruit mini danish brought in. You'd think people would bring healthy stuff to doctors, but they don't.
Yesterday I had packed more fruit salad and an apple. I ate the fruit salad at my desk while I finished up the paperwork (or more accurately computer work since I do all electronic charts). Then on the way home I drank a big ole 32 ounces of ice water as I do every day and had the apple. I've found that drinking water and having a snack on the way home stops me from being overly hungry when I walk in the door and either grabbing the first thing I see to eat or "tasting" everything I'm cooking.
Last night's dinner was tacos made from the taco salad left overs from Sunday.
I had 3 along with 7 baked Tostitos and Salsa and this wrapped up dinner at 573 calories. Meals and snacks came in at total 1441 calories for the day. With my run burning 406, my net was 1034. Pretty good overall.
This am I got up and rode my bike 7.5 miles. I picked one of the harder rides and maybe the day after a long run isn't the time to do that? My legs were burning! After I did crunches on my balance ball. Still unable to do push-ups, I thought I'd be Miss Warrior Girl and try one armed ones. Ok, soooo not ready to do that. I did one. Which I find amazing. Then I did TEN girlie ONE ARMED PUSH UPs. Take that skinny bitches.
The weigh in this am was good. I lost .2 pounds which doesn't sound like much except that I posted an early weigh-in on Friday showing a loss of 2.4 sooooo my total loss this week is 2.6 pounds! Yeah! Especially considering the birthday party pitfalls I faced this week AND out of town guests. Yeah me! I am only 5.6 pounds from my first goal of 212pounds, which is the lowest weight I've weighed in the last 10 years.
How's your week going? How do you handle snacks? Do you even eat them? If so what? I've found snacks are absolutely essential. In fact, it's time for one now. Gotta go work! Have a great Wednesday!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Things I Can't WAIT to Miss About Being Fat
There are things I'm noticing now about my being fat that I'd never put much thought into before now. Things that I guess either I didn't want to think about or hadn't noticed. But, now that I feel like I'm on the right path to conquering this weight business for good, I've started to compile a list of things I can't wait to miss.
1) Higher insurance premiums: I have life insurance, disability insurance and business overhead insurance all of which cost me a FORTUNE in premiums mostly due to my size. Apparently being fat is a risk of dying or getting sick. Who knew? Can't wait to call the agent and take a new physical and use the money I'll save for a trip to a beach where I can wear my new hot pink bikini.
2)Sweating: Now I'm not talking about the working out feel good kind of sweat or even the man it's hot out here sweat. I'm talking about the I get overheated very easily and sweat profusely even without much activity sweat that comes from being fat. So embarrassing. Especially at events where pictures might be taken.
3)Speaking of pictures: I can't wait to miss avoiding pictures. Hiding behind my children or other person or tree or table or anything that will hide my body.
4)Loud thigh rubbing noises: You know the one where when you walk down the hall in jeans or on the rare occasion, pantyhose and hear the swish, swish, swish of my thighs rubbing together. Not to mention the discomfort that can result from said rubbing.
5)People trying to squeeze by me in crowded restaurants: I hate it when I'm in a restaurant that is busy and crowded and jammed packed with tables. I know I'm going to be stuck in the outside chair where the skinny mini waitress has to grimace and squeeze past my chair every time she walks by while I try to shove more of myself into and under the table to get out of the way.
6)Speaking of restaurants: I can't wait to go to eat out with business associates and not feel like they are judging me for whatever I choose and then worrying they'll think I'm a pig even if I pick something healthy and I don't eat it all. I really almost hate eating in these situations.
7)Back fat: That's right. The roll that shows up on top of your bra strap and you can see through thin material and GOD FORBID a low backed dress or outfit. Ugh.
8)The way my heart skips if someone asks me how much I weigh: I hate this. It doesn't happen often as people can tell by looking at me it's too much, but occasionally for medical reasons someone asks. There's always that dead pause as I try to say something that sounds reasonable to the person asking, yet is less than the horrible truth.
9) Butt rolls: You know, that extra hanging off butt fat that hangs off when I sit on a small, usually hard and uncomfortable chair. Usually this is the worst at meetings where I have to sit in said chair for hours on end. Especially chairs that are attached to the chair next to it so the butt roll hangs over onto the chair next to me. Lord forbid it's a standing room only meeting.
10)Being the fattest mom on the field trip: There are many times when I'm the fattest in the room, or at least have been for a long time. None is worse than the field trip which is usually populated with cute little stay at home moms in tight yoga outfits or cute little capri pants talking about how busy they are and how they only had time to spend an hour at the gym today. (Sorry to generalize, but I am so tired and I guess jealous of these people)
11) My old friend the double chin: I know. We've had a long relationship, but it's time to cut the cord. Can't wait not to worry about what exact angle I can hold my head to minimize Mr. Extra Chin in social situations and pictures. Again with the pictures.
12) Standing in my closet trying to decide what outfit will make me look the least fat: I swear it takes me twice as long to get dressed when I have to stand there thinking "Do these fit or are these the pants that won't stay zipped when I sit down?"
This is still a work in progress. Any additional things you either can't wait to miss OR don't miss about being fat?
1) Higher insurance premiums: I have life insurance, disability insurance and business overhead insurance all of which cost me a FORTUNE in premiums mostly due to my size. Apparently being fat is a risk of dying or getting sick. Who knew? Can't wait to call the agent and take a new physical and use the money I'll save for a trip to a beach where I can wear my new hot pink bikini.
2)Sweating: Now I'm not talking about the working out feel good kind of sweat or even the man it's hot out here sweat. I'm talking about the I get overheated very easily and sweat profusely even without much activity sweat that comes from being fat. So embarrassing. Especially at events where pictures might be taken.
3)Speaking of pictures: I can't wait to miss avoiding pictures. Hiding behind my children or other person or tree or table or anything that will hide my body.
4)Loud thigh rubbing noises: You know the one where when you walk down the hall in jeans or on the rare occasion, pantyhose and hear the swish, swish, swish of my thighs rubbing together. Not to mention the discomfort that can result from said rubbing.
5)People trying to squeeze by me in crowded restaurants: I hate it when I'm in a restaurant that is busy and crowded and jammed packed with tables. I know I'm going to be stuck in the outside chair where the skinny mini waitress has to grimace and squeeze past my chair every time she walks by while I try to shove more of myself into and under the table to get out of the way.
6)Speaking of restaurants: I can't wait to go to eat out with business associates and not feel like they are judging me for whatever I choose and then worrying they'll think I'm a pig even if I pick something healthy and I don't eat it all. I really almost hate eating in these situations.
7)Back fat: That's right. The roll that shows up on top of your bra strap and you can see through thin material and GOD FORBID a low backed dress or outfit. Ugh.
8)The way my heart skips if someone asks me how much I weigh: I hate this. It doesn't happen often as people can tell by looking at me it's too much, but occasionally for medical reasons someone asks. There's always that dead pause as I try to say something that sounds reasonable to the person asking, yet is less than the horrible truth.
9) Butt rolls: You know, that extra hanging off butt fat that hangs off when I sit on a small, usually hard and uncomfortable chair. Usually this is the worst at meetings where I have to sit in said chair for hours on end. Especially chairs that are attached to the chair next to it so the butt roll hangs over onto the chair next to me. Lord forbid it's a standing room only meeting.
10)Being the fattest mom on the field trip: There are many times when I'm the fattest in the room, or at least have been for a long time. None is worse than the field trip which is usually populated with cute little stay at home moms in tight yoga outfits or cute little capri pants talking about how busy they are and how they only had time to spend an hour at the gym today. (Sorry to generalize, but I am so tired and I guess jealous of these people)
11) My old friend the double chin: I know. We've had a long relationship, but it's time to cut the cord. Can't wait not to worry about what exact angle I can hold my head to minimize Mr. Extra Chin in social situations and pictures. Again with the pictures.
12) Standing in my closet trying to decide what outfit will make me look the least fat: I swear it takes me twice as long to get dressed when I have to stand there thinking "Do these fit or are these the pants that won't stay zipped when I sit down?"
This is still a work in progress. Any additional things you either can't wait to miss OR don't miss about being fat?
Weekend Wrap Up
Friday was a great day for the most part. I woke up feeling pretty energetic. I did my C25K running and was able to complete it. I weighed in having lost weight and I felt good about myself. I waded through my closet and found a pair of jeans I haven't worn in 3 years. They fit! AND they were loose. Glad I found them because they won't fit for long. Yeah!
Sorry for the butt shot, but I was so proud, I couldn't resist. Hee hee!
And with that I realized that there are no clothes in my closet I can't wear anymore. That's' amazing. I can now wear the 18 pants and skirts which are the smallest sizes I own. That feels very good. I cleaned out some of the largest things and gave them to my cousin to see if his wife can use any of them. Feels so good to really see results outside of those numbers on the scale. Yesterday I wore a size 18/20 shirt I haven't worn in probably 3 years. It fit great, if not a little loose. I find it amazing.
Saturday was my daughter's birthday party. Can't believe she is 6 now! I woke up early and had plenty to do. After being sick last weekend and half-sick most of last week, I had a lot to do. I didn't workout, but got plenty of exercise cleaning up outside. Sweeping and weeding and mulching and getting the pool ready and such. Then the indoor work with dishes and dusting and cleaning the floors. Then it was off to pick up the cake. It was soooo cute!
Instead of buying a big jug of ice cream, I bought little cups of ice cream and just enough for the kids. We had hot dogs on the grill for the kiddos. I made sausages for the grown ups. I had my chicken apple sausage from Costco, no bun. It is tasty and just 180 calories per link. I made a huge fresh fruit salad. The kids had chips, but I passed. Overall eating on Saturday was a success. And then...
Time to cut the cake. I LOVE BIRTHDAY CAKE. Love it. No really, I love that stuff. I admit that I had a small piece. Luckily I had just a fruit smoothie at lunch which was only 260 calories, so I had room in my budget. I probably had more icing than I should have as I did lick my fingers after cutting pieces for all the guests. But, I count this as a success because in the past I would have eaten a WAY larger slice AND ice cream AND licked all the icing off the cardboard thingy the cake came on WHICH I DIDN'T, but instead threw it immediately into the trash. Smile.
Alas, my weight was up a little on Sunday am, likely due to the sodium and not getting enough water in all my rushing around. Yesterday was spent cleaning up after the party, laundry and such. Took my son, who is almost 13 *gulp* school shopping yesterday and bought him some jeans and shoes. Aren't kids WAY expensive! The girls are on the agenda for next weekend while brother is on a camping trip with his boy scout troop.
Dinner last night was taco salad. Quite tasty with re-fried fat free black beans and a few baked Tostitos on top. Loves me some Mexican food and this hits the spot without the trip to the death trap they call El Chico's. Last night wrapped up with an evening swim. Did 500 meters in my little pool, which is 50 laps. Then, poolside crunches. I had to skip the push ups as I have tendinitis in my elbow and after all the work on Saturday it was flared up again.
It is really frustrating me as it is starting to limit my weight training. I plan on going in and visiting my friend the Orthopedist for a shot this week. I am a wimp and not looking forward to it as I know it will hurt. But, I want to be able to train and keep up my push ups. I can now do 20 real ones in a row followed by 30 girlie ones. I am working on getting up to 100 real ones and I have an iPhone app to help me, but don't want to start until this elbow is fixed.
And now we're off to the Monday grind. Weight still up a little from the fun and busy weekend, but I am not worried as I know it is mostly water from the sodium. My wedding ring is fitting this morning as proof. We'll soon just HAVE to upgrade that thing as it doesn't fit very well anymore. Oh darn, new diamonds. Ha! I'll drink lots of water today so the scale will be back down soon, hopefully. Plan the gym at noon for cardio as I had to do some work from Friday before hitting the office this am. Hope your weekend was fun and productive and week is the same!
Sorry for the butt shot, but I was so proud, I couldn't resist. Hee hee!
And with that I realized that there are no clothes in my closet I can't wear anymore. That's' amazing. I can now wear the 18 pants and skirts which are the smallest sizes I own. That feels very good. I cleaned out some of the largest things and gave them to my cousin to see if his wife can use any of them. Feels so good to really see results outside of those numbers on the scale. Yesterday I wore a size 18/20 shirt I haven't worn in probably 3 years. It fit great, if not a little loose. I find it amazing.
Saturday was my daughter's birthday party. Can't believe she is 6 now! I woke up early and had plenty to do. After being sick last weekend and half-sick most of last week, I had a lot to do. I didn't workout, but got plenty of exercise cleaning up outside. Sweeping and weeding and mulching and getting the pool ready and such. Then the indoor work with dishes and dusting and cleaning the floors. Then it was off to pick up the cake. It was soooo cute!
Instead of buying a big jug of ice cream, I bought little cups of ice cream and just enough for the kids. We had hot dogs on the grill for the kiddos. I made sausages for the grown ups. I had my chicken apple sausage from Costco, no bun. It is tasty and just 180 calories per link. I made a huge fresh fruit salad. The kids had chips, but I passed. Overall eating on Saturday was a success. And then...
Time to cut the cake. I LOVE BIRTHDAY CAKE. Love it. No really, I love that stuff. I admit that I had a small piece. Luckily I had just a fruit smoothie at lunch which was only 260 calories, so I had room in my budget. I probably had more icing than I should have as I did lick my fingers after cutting pieces for all the guests. But, I count this as a success because in the past I would have eaten a WAY larger slice AND ice cream AND licked all the icing off the cardboard thingy the cake came on WHICH I DIDN'T, but instead threw it immediately into the trash. Smile.
Alas, my weight was up a little on Sunday am, likely due to the sodium and not getting enough water in all my rushing around. Yesterday was spent cleaning up after the party, laundry and such. Took my son, who is almost 13 *gulp* school shopping yesterday and bought him some jeans and shoes. Aren't kids WAY expensive! The girls are on the agenda for next weekend while brother is on a camping trip with his boy scout troop.
Dinner last night was taco salad. Quite tasty with re-fried fat free black beans and a few baked Tostitos on top. Loves me some Mexican food and this hits the spot without the trip to the death trap they call El Chico's. Last night wrapped up with an evening swim. Did 500 meters in my little pool, which is 50 laps. Then, poolside crunches. I had to skip the push ups as I have tendinitis in my elbow and after all the work on Saturday it was flared up again.
It is really frustrating me as it is starting to limit my weight training. I plan on going in and visiting my friend the Orthopedist for a shot this week. I am a wimp and not looking forward to it as I know it will hurt. But, I want to be able to train and keep up my push ups. I can now do 20 real ones in a row followed by 30 girlie ones. I am working on getting up to 100 real ones and I have an iPhone app to help me, but don't want to start until this elbow is fixed.
And now we're off to the Monday grind. Weight still up a little from the fun and busy weekend, but I am not worried as I know it is mostly water from the sodium. My wedding ring is fitting this morning as proof. We'll soon just HAVE to upgrade that thing as it doesn't fit very well anymore. Oh darn, new diamonds. Ha! I'll drink lots of water today so the scale will be back down soon, hopefully. Plan the gym at noon for cardio as I had to do some work from Friday before hitting the office this am. Hope your weekend was fun and productive and week is the same!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Follow up to Yesterday's Rant
Overall the rant from yesterday was well received. If you haven't read it, please do. I feel I need to clarify a few things. First, I don't hate those shaper shoes. Some people use them and like them and feel like they help. But, wearing them to work isn't exercise. It's not. People need to understand that. And, they can hurt people especially older people with poor balance.
Second, I was not in any way saying that WLS or lap band is not useful. It is a tool like any of the other tools we can use to lose weight. I have and will recommend WLS to patients when the risks are outweighed by the benefits the surgery might bring. It is a surgery with very real risks. I recommended it just recently for a patient who is diabetic, has high blood pressure and weighs nearly 400 pounds. He had a stroke last year. He has a heart blockage, but he is too big to fit on a cath table so we can't even know for sure where the blockage is or fix it. He is 2 years older than me.
Having lap band is a personal choice. I don't feel the risks outweigh the benefits in my case at this point. Being a doctor, I know all the bad stuff. I've seen it and sometimes that's bad. That's my own personal fear. You see, I own my own business. There is no sick leave in my world. Although I have disability insurance and all that, I have 20 employees working for me who do not. Their families depend on me being at work. If I'm not working, we make no money, they don't get paid. If I were to have the surgery and god forbid end up in ICU for 3 weeks as I have seen happen more than once, it would be devastating financially to me and to them.
I don't have diabetes, heart problems or high blood pressure. I'm lucky because I'm just fat. So at this point, surgery isn't worth it to me. But that's me and everybody has to make their own choices in this area.
My point about all of us as bloggers was only to remind us that we are here with a problem. Just like in AA, you have people who've been at it longer, the "sponsor" who can recognize the BS and call you out on it. We all need to remember our responsibility to each other. Let's not enable each other. There's a difference between:
1) A lapse at one meal or one day or even one week and getting back on track with a good attitude and
2)Eating badly day after day, missing exercise habitually and then being upset because you don't lose.
My son cam home from camp and said he learned something from his leader. He said, "KP duty is just about as hard as you make it." Now, he's 12 so his interpretation was "Don't make a big mess and it'll be easier to clean up." But when he said it to me it stopped me in my tracks. This is a VERY important life lesson. Maybe one of THE MOST important. So I sat him down and explained the deeper meaning.
To me, this means that you can whine and bitch and complain about how hard it is and how long it will take and how gross the mess is, or you can approach it with a smile, acknowledge it will be hard, but be confident that you can clean it up in a jiff and be on your way. My 12 year old son got it. Do you?
Losing weight is hard. It's damn hard and it takes a long time. But, sometimes I think we make it harder than it really is. I know I have and sometimes do. We make it so big in our minds, we talk ourselves into thinking it can't be done.
This was me a few months ago. About 3 weeks into this change, like clockwork, I had a small gain. And like clockwork, the petulant child inside me started in. Like my 3 year old daughter frustrated as she tried to learn how to button up her jammies, I mentally stomped my feet and said, "It's just too hard! I'll never be able to do this! It's stupid! I'm stupid! It's not fair!" I don't know why I did it. But on my facebook page there appeared a post from the LoseIt program I use about a blogger who'd done a review. I clicked on it. I read his story. He'd lost almost 200 pounds. From his blog I found others and as I sat there with tears in my eyes I realized that if they can do it, then DAMN IT so can I.
And, that was a turning point for me. I found Sean, a fellow Okie, BTW, who was over 500 pounds and lost weight. He was twice what my heaviest was. It Wowed me. I read and read. I was scared to start a blog. But found myself thinking things in my head I could share and wanted to tell these people I imagined that were becoming my friends. So I sent Jack Sh*t an email and asked him how to start. He replied with in minutes. That impressed me so much. And here I am.
I'm not perfect. I don't have all the answers. I appreciate all the help I've gotten from my blog friends. This is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. BUT, I know TODAY I woke up and did my C25K week 6 day 2 and when I weighed in I'd lost another 2.4 pounds bringing my total to 32.2 pounds lost. Something I've never done before. Ever.
Second, I was not in any way saying that WLS or lap band is not useful. It is a tool like any of the other tools we can use to lose weight. I have and will recommend WLS to patients when the risks are outweighed by the benefits the surgery might bring. It is a surgery with very real risks. I recommended it just recently for a patient who is diabetic, has high blood pressure and weighs nearly 400 pounds. He had a stroke last year. He has a heart blockage, but he is too big to fit on a cath table so we can't even know for sure where the blockage is or fix it. He is 2 years older than me.
Having lap band is a personal choice. I don't feel the risks outweigh the benefits in my case at this point. Being a doctor, I know all the bad stuff. I've seen it and sometimes that's bad. That's my own personal fear. You see, I own my own business. There is no sick leave in my world. Although I have disability insurance and all that, I have 20 employees working for me who do not. Their families depend on me being at work. If I'm not working, we make no money, they don't get paid. If I were to have the surgery and god forbid end up in ICU for 3 weeks as I have seen happen more than once, it would be devastating financially to me and to them.
I don't have diabetes, heart problems or high blood pressure. I'm lucky because I'm just fat. So at this point, surgery isn't worth it to me. But that's me and everybody has to make their own choices in this area.
My point about all of us as bloggers was only to remind us that we are here with a problem. Just like in AA, you have people who've been at it longer, the "sponsor" who can recognize the BS and call you out on it. We all need to remember our responsibility to each other. Let's not enable each other. There's a difference between:
1) A lapse at one meal or one day or even one week and getting back on track with a good attitude and
2)Eating badly day after day, missing exercise habitually and then being upset because you don't lose.
My son cam home from camp and said he learned something from his leader. He said, "KP duty is just about as hard as you make it." Now, he's 12 so his interpretation was "Don't make a big mess and it'll be easier to clean up." But when he said it to me it stopped me in my tracks. This is a VERY important life lesson. Maybe one of THE MOST important. So I sat him down and explained the deeper meaning.
To me, this means that you can whine and bitch and complain about how hard it is and how long it will take and how gross the mess is, or you can approach it with a smile, acknowledge it will be hard, but be confident that you can clean it up in a jiff and be on your way. My 12 year old son got it. Do you?
Losing weight is hard. It's damn hard and it takes a long time. But, sometimes I think we make it harder than it really is. I know I have and sometimes do. We make it so big in our minds, we talk ourselves into thinking it can't be done.
This was me a few months ago. About 3 weeks into this change, like clockwork, I had a small gain. And like clockwork, the petulant child inside me started in. Like my 3 year old daughter frustrated as she tried to learn how to button up her jammies, I mentally stomped my feet and said, "It's just too hard! I'll never be able to do this! It's stupid! I'm stupid! It's not fair!" I don't know why I did it. But on my facebook page there appeared a post from the LoseIt program I use about a blogger who'd done a review. I clicked on it. I read his story. He'd lost almost 200 pounds. From his blog I found others and as I sat there with tears in my eyes I realized that if they can do it, then DAMN IT so can I.
And, that was a turning point for me. I found Sean, a fellow Okie, BTW, who was over 500 pounds and lost weight. He was twice what my heaviest was. It Wowed me. I read and read. I was scared to start a blog. But found myself thinking things in my head I could share and wanted to tell these people I imagined that were becoming my friends. So I sent Jack Sh*t an email and asked him how to start. He replied with in minutes. That impressed me so much. And here I am.
I'm not perfect. I don't have all the answers. I appreciate all the help I've gotten from my blog friends. This is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. BUT, I know TODAY I woke up and did my C25K week 6 day 2 and when I weighed in I'd lost another 2.4 pounds bringing my total to 32.2 pounds lost. Something I've never done before. Ever.
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