UPs and Downs.

What a week I've had. There have been several ups and downs.

UP:  Preparing for my vacation which will begin end of business today. We'll leave tomorrow after my TKD test and my sons test. He got his invitation to test last night and he is so proud, so am I. He has worked so hard over the last few months and especially this month. This week he's been to 2 classes everyday and teaching extra classes. That's a lot of dedication for a 13year old. He's testing for his red-black belt, next stop=black!

DOWN:  We had reserved a large SUV to drive on the trip. My BFF and her kids will be joining us as usual. Neither of us has a car that seats 8. Believe me next vehicle I buy will!  Anyway, husband went to pick up said vehicle and of course they didn't have one. I HATE car rental places. In my experience they never have what you originally reserve. They always switch it on you or don't have it. My husband spoke to the district manager and we're hoping they'll find one for us today.  We have a guaranteed contract, which we paid extra for. I won't name the company because they seem to be trying to fix the problem.

UP:  I've been on call all week and the pager has been quiet. Thank you pager gods. As of lunch today, no more call this week.

DOWN:  Our pool was majorly screwed up all week. GREEN city. Ewww! The heat is making the chemistry hard to control. And then we realized our salt pump that generates the chlorine is not working. Two days prior to vacation. Sigh. Luckily we were able to get an appointment with the repair guy this afternoon. Hopefully they can fix it. After dumping all kinds of chemicals in, the pool was clear last night, for now. But, I've been to the pool store nearly every day trying to get it straight. I'm so thankful for having the pool, but it is a lot of work and expense.

UP:  I've stuck to the daily exercise and tracking. Yesterday I went to two TKD classes in preparation for the test. I've worked out hard and I'm ready for it. I'll admit I'm a bit nervous about the sparring and board breaking. But, at least we practiced sparring yesterday.  My calories on Wednesday ended at 1087. Yesterday was 988. I should have eaten more, but I wasn't hungry for a change. For breakfast I had my shake and coffee. At lunch I had a salad and hummus with celery on the side. For dinner we had roast and I had 1/2 cup of mashed potatoes. Man it's been forever since I had those. It was very good and I was full. I'm looking for a good loss on the scale this week. Scale! I'm talking to you!

Down: One of my employees had a young child in their family killed yesterday in a car accident. Just tragic. My BFF had a distant cousin killed in Afghanistan  by an IED.  It really brings the war close to home for me.  There have been multiple deaths from the heat here in Texas. One was a football coach this week.  

UP:  I received my OU season football tickets yesterday. Can't wait for the first game on Sept. 3rd. OU is ranked #1 in pre-season polls. Looks to be a good year. Of course I never like to be ranked #1 so early. No where to go but down, but that's just my inner Eeyore speaking.

Down:  I'm been completely unimpressed with what the Cowboys have done so far. Nothing exciting in free agency this year and the dreaded and hated satan called the Eagles (love you Alan) have done a lot. But, what scares me the most is the Patriots acquiring Chad Johnson and Haynesworth. What? The evil that is Belichick getting 2 more hall of fame level players (in theory should they both live up to their potential).  Plus, our corner Newman got hurt yesterday and he was important to our defense, such as it is anyways.  Another down was the d-tackle from the Eagles who collapsed in practice with a seizure and has an AVM(arterio-venous malformation) which is a collection of blood vessels in the brain which can bleed and swell and cause lots of problems. It may mean no more football for him. Hate to see that for any player no matter what team.

UP:  It's Friday. Finally. And although I still have a lot to do including errands to run on my lunch hour today, I am excited with anticipation. I read recently that the boost in happiness one gets from a vacation is mostly from the anticipation of the vacation and not from the actual vacation itself. (that got my inner Eeyore going as well) So for now I'll enjoy it all. Still have to finish packing. Go to the bank. Pool store. Print the hotel confirmations. Blah blah blah. PLUS finish all my work before I go. No one likes a doctor that leaves patients hanging. (Now that just doesn't sound right. Ha ha) I'll be trying to post if I can, but I'm not sure of our internet situation. Until you hear from me again, keep going and posting, I'll be reading I'm sure. Stay on track, one day, one minute, one choice at a time! We can do this! Achieving our healthy goals is within our grasp!

Leaving...on a jet plane!

This day was exhausting. I do not understand why leaving for a vacation is so hard. It's like my patients have some sort of early warning system so they know that I'm getting ready to leave and they have to get in TODAY. Phone calls, Medication refills, referrals, forms to fill out. And of course, patients that think their problem is WAY more important than everyone else and want the answer NOW!  On top of that we had our manager's meeting today at lunch so I didn't eat lunch and we spent it discussing various "issues" that need resolving.

Owning your own medical practice has all the stress and hassle of any other business plus the added joy of constantly being exposed to illness, life and death decisions and the fact that you could get sued and lose it all at any moment.  Sometimes I wonder if I would have gone out on my own if I'd known what I know now. On the other hand...I don't ask anyone for time off. I don't need approval to buy equipment. I can wear whatever I want. My hours are set by me and I can see as many or as few patients in a day as I want. Overall I love my job, but MAN some days are just...........hard.

On top of that, Big boy has a science project (in other words WE have a science project) due on the 21st and we had to get some more done before we leave because he has a camping trip this weekend. Sigh. So at 6pm I was still at the office helping him run some tests at the office. THEN we had to rush home so he could change for his Boy Scout meeting which started at 7pm. Ack.

I woke up this am and was on the treadmill by 6am. I did day 2 of week1 C25K. I am so glad I've started it over although I wondered this morning. I had the battle about, my legs are sore and I'm tired, but I forced my inner whiner to shut the hell up and did it anyway. Felt great and I am surprised about how much better my speed is this time.

After my run, note the sweatiness (Is that a word?)

I was on top of the world this am considering I knew I only had to survive this day and my vacation begins.  I even ditched my scrubs for actual clothing. I ate my breakfast-an oatmeal muffin, egg whites and yogurt with my coffee and water, of course. When I got to the office I was working on this really witty post and took these pics...

But then by the time I went back to the post, I forgot half of what I had planned and said forget it. Mainly I was playing with my nifty web cam. I know. I'm silly.

So I took some snacks to work today knowing I had that meeting, but didn't have time to eat any till late this afternoon. I had bought a new flavor of laughing cow light-chipotle and queso. YUMMY....or was it?  I wouldn't know because I guess it has horse radish or something similar in it because my tongue started to burn, throat itched, lips burning. The first bite I thought it was just spicy and then I realized it was a reaciton. So I threw it in the trash and ate my celery plain instead.  I guess I'm getting more sensitive to the stuff over time. Here I am about 8hr later and my tongue is still tingling, not in a good way. Ha ha.

The food for today ended with a banana and a frozen lean cuisine pizza AND a Mike's hard lemonade light. Yeah. I needed it and it was good and I was happy. Total calories were just under 1200. I got in all the fluids. I weighed this morning and I was 204, nearly back to where I was.

Now that I finally got all the packing done and other things off my TO-DO, including left over work from today, I am ready to go to bed. I'm so tired and we have to get up early. Anyway, I'm excited about the trip. I will try to post while I'm gone, but it all depends on....well..whether I feel like it.Grin. I'll take pics, especially of the new little black dress I bought for the trip, and I'll post all about it at some point.  Take care and good night.

White Monday?

Thanks for all the support on the last post. I'm feeling better. A lot better. Got through the weekend OK.  Stayed on plan and ended up exercising yesterday in the snow with the kids. That's right. SNOW. Unbelievable. Happens rarely here, but we got about 6 inches and all the schools are closed.

Had planned on a run on the treadmill, but in light of the circumstances, decided to push that to today. We spent a long time outside, running, playing, snowball fighting and the like. Kids had a great time, of course. All day my 13 yr old son was talking about school canceling, of course. And this morning around 6am he bounded into my room to announce his joy. Joke's on him. When I left the house for work I instructed him to unload the dishwasher and then get busy on his science project WHICH he needs to make significant progress on before he heads out to play with his neighborhood buddies.  I know. Mean old Mom.

But, since hubby and I are leaving on Thursday am, the extra time is great. You parents out there know it's my project too. I hate that crap. We try to make it his deal as much as possible.  Besides, he was outside for ever yesterday instead of doing his stuff. He's going camping with Boy Scouts this weekend so, he's got to get some stuff done!

Speaking of my trip, I'm a little worried about it now. I have a game plan. I will of course take my water bottle. I don't like to buy water unless I have to because of the environment and all that stuff. I use refillable bottles when I can. Plus, I'll pack my almonds and fiber bars and 100 cal snack packs for when healthy foods aren't available. Breakfast is generally easy to handle while traveling with fruit and egg or oatmeal. The good news is we'll be on our own schedule so we can eat when we want and where we want. Without the kids our options are significantly increased. I'm packing my workout clothes. The 2 hotels we'll be at have great gyms and with the challenge exercises being walking and core work, I can do that anywhere.

So what am I worried about?  Well, I am worried about that vacation mindset creeping in. Me slipping into old patterns where I think I need the junk for it to be vacation. And like I talked about last time, this is a vulnerable time of year for me.  I have to be careful of over celebrating and using food emotionally.

On the other hand, we had a long vacation in July and I rocked that thing. I lost weight. I ate well. We hiked and walked and played with the kids. We were super active so that made all the difference. This trip with my husband will include a lot of walking. We're planning some walking tours. We love history and learning about new places so walking tours are cheap and fun with the added benefit of good exercise. PLUS I love the beach. When we go to the beach I love to get up early and take tons of pics of the sunrise and walk for ever before breakfast.

I've changed so much in the last year or so. I want to move more, do more and I have more trouble sitting still. Plus when we're on vacation we love to go and do things. So, I'm looking forward to a good balance of rest and relaxation AND being busy.  I am easily bored so I don't do the lay around thing that much. I KNOW can't tell by looking at me. We're going to take some DVDs for evening chillin out time and maybe on the plane. AND of course I have a ton of books to read. I actually got a few for Christmas to get going on.

So now I'll head home for lunch. Very slow day at the office with the white stuff around. We North Texans don't DO ice and snow. It doesn't bother me much growing up in Oklahoma and living in 3 years in Nebraska, I'm over all that fear and I know how to drive in it. But, Nanny from Italy FREAKs out so poor thing, she's trapped with 3 kids in the house. I'm hoping she'll make those low fat yogurt muffins I love and some lentil soup.

Here are some pics I took. I drove by the old cemetery and decided to stop in to take some pics. Some people say creepy. I say cool.

Pond near my house

Have a great Monday everyone! What tricks do you use when you travel? How do you keep active when on the road?

I'm BaaaAAAaaack! and Weigh-In Wednesday

My vacation was absolutely awesome. We had such a good time and did so many wonderful things. We were busy, busy but not overly, so I still feel like I got a bit of rest. I admit I was nervous about juggling the weight loss issues with my usual vacation binge-fest, but I did really well overall. I weighed this am and I am down to 224, for a loss of 1.2# and 26 total!

I learned a couple of things on this trip. First, there is absolutely no reason why I can't make healthy food choices in nearly every situation. Second, that exercise thingy every one talks about is for REAL.

I managed to log my food everyday, except maybe twice. I am very proud about this as in the past it wouldn't have even entered my mind. I usually go into my vacation with a feeling of entitlement to the binge eating. After all, "I work hard and deserve to eat what I want", right? That kind of attitude and thinking is what has kept me in the land of the obese my whole life.

I used to say, "I'll start my diet after vacation" and never did. I used to say "One week of eating badly won't hurt". This would be true if I was eating right the rest of the time, which I never was, so I don't know where I got off having that little delusion. Just the fact that I realized that there is no vacation from being healthy is a huge victory for me. You are either making healthy choices or not. The machine that is your body doesn't know if you're on vacation or really depressed or celebrating. It just knows: fuel in, burn what you need, store the rest.

I logged everything. Even the stuff I shouldn't have eaten like the Hershey chocolate and the Doritos and the garlic bread, etc, etc. Overall, I did pretty well at first and by day 10 or 11, I was slipping into old habits. I had my first Pepsi/Coke in 3 months. It. Tasted. So. Good. But, I realized the next day how bad that crap makes me feel. Water really is the only thing that makes my body run properly.

Even though I ate a lot of things I know I should avoid, I did way better than I usually would have on a trip. Mainly because I actually thought about everything I put in my mouth. I did not mindlessly eat out of boredom or for fun. When I wanted chocolate or Pepsi or chips, I thought about it and made a conscious decision to eat it. Then, I logged it. Even with eating out a lot (sometimes in the drive through. Boo hiss!), I was mainly able to make good choices. Even when I didn't, I made sure we did something active and that helped to balance it all out most days.

It is freakish for me to admit, but I really missed working out and going to the gym. I did lots and lots of exercise on this trip, but I realized how much I like and need that "me time". Twice we stayed in a hotel with a gym and each time I went in the morning and worked out. It's amazing to me how focused you are on your diet when you work out in the am. The rest of the days, we spent doing all sorts of fun stuff.

We hiked up and down into a volcano in New Mexico. We hiked at Garden of the Gods. We walked all over Boulder. We hiked up to a mountain waterfall and had a picnic. We fished and hiked around a mountain lake-twice. We went rafting. It was really too much fun. The kids had a blast.

My only regret is I didn't stick to my goal of doing the C25K week 5 day 3. A lot of it was schedule, but some was the altitude and not knowing any good route to run. So, I hadn't run in nearly 2 weeks before this am. I restarted week 5 today as I thought it would be setting myself up to fail to try that 25 minute run when I haven't done any running in 2 weeks.

It was really, really hard. I didn't think I could finish and my pace was worse than before. BUT. I. DID. Finish. I jogged all my intervals without walking. I felt extremely tired afterward. I didn't necessarily feel triumphant or more energetic. I do however feel proud that I was able to muddle through. I guess there are just days that are easier than others. Isn't that true about everything?

The best part of all is that I got up yesterday morning to return to the real world without my usual post-vacation food-binge hangover. I did not feel guilty or particularly bloated. I did not have to swear to myself to never do that again. I did not regret the Hershey bar or ice cream or Doritos or even the Pepsi. Why? Because I was in control of my food. Food didn't control me.

Vacation!

Tomorrow we are leaving on our summer vacation. The last several years, we have been going to the beach for a week and renting a beach house. These have been the absolute best vacations ever. However, this year due to the tragedy of the BP oil spill, (Freaking nightmare. I'll suppress my political diatribe now.) we decided to do something different. We are going up to the mountains to Colorado, Rocky Mountain National Park. I am very excited because I haven't been in ages and my kids have never seen mountains. We have a 12yr old son, and 2 daughters, 5 and 4.

By BFF and her kids are going also. She generally joins us on our trips. Truly she is the sister I never had and her kids have allowed me the opportunity of knowing what it's like to be an "Aunt". We tell our kids they are "fuzins" Friend-cousins. They think it's hilarious.

We finally have everything packed. Traveling with 3 kids for 11 days is no picnic. It is always such a Production. My husband was being "helpful" and went to Costco and bought a whole bunch of snacks. He did pretty well, despite what I call his nutrition handicap. He is one of the smartest people I have ever known, but he knows next to nothing about nutrition. I keep telling him to check the label, but sometimes he's lured in by healthy looking packaging and words like "all natural" and "low fat." But, this is a subject for a whole other blog.

He got jerky, and some Kashi granola bars. He also got M&M trail mix. Luckily he did not get chocolate snacks or cookies which he's been known to do in the past. I am nervous about the trip because I do not want this to be a set back. In the past I've always put the "diet on hold" on vacation. I usually go nuts eating cookies and candy and pretty much any other piece of crap food I can get. Then, I gain back all the weight I've lost. The net result has always been that when I get home and see the gain, I decide that this proves I can't lose weight and it will be too hard and what's the point. And the diet on "hold" becomes the diet that never was.

I feel differently this time though, because I really am trying to approach this as lifestyle change. A complete overall of my diet, exercise, and mentality towards fitness. I plan to continue to keep my food journal and track calories. And, honestly I haven't felt deprived. I'm been hungry at times which has been great since before I ate so much so often, I hardly new what hungry felt like. But, I really like the tons of fruit and healthy stuff I've been eating. I don't miss all that other crap.

The best part is that this will be a very active vacation. Not only is there exercise equipment I can use and a pool where we can swim, but we'll be hiking and fishing and rafting and horseback riding (maybe). I say maybe because the idea of riding a horse evokes "fat fear". I've never done it before. What happens if they say I'm too heavy? What if I'm embarrassed because they have to get the "extra big horse" for the fat lady? And, what will I look like trying to haul my fat butt onto the poor beast?

But, I digress. The point is, we will be going and doing and seeing things most of the time. We'll have some relaxation in there also, but I'm excited to see how I do with working in exercise. I can honestly say I have rarely, if ever, worked out while on vacation. But, this time I'm excited that I'll be able to get in some extra workouts. I brought my polar so I can track my heart rate and count all those calories. More burnt means more liberal and happy vacation foods. (Calm down you inner sugar and snack beast. More liberal does not mean all you can eat oreos!)

I am concerned about the altitude. I've had trouble in the past. And then there is the asthma issue which I think will be fine. I've been doing great on my runs and my breathing is better but I'm a little worried so I'm taking extra meds and inhalers and some steroids just in case and for last resort use only. (Hate that stuff!)

We'll have internet access so I want to try to stay connected and blog. But, especially to continue reading all the blogs which have helped keep me focused and excited about losing weight and exercise and all the rest. Thanks to all of you for blogging so I can read it everyday and keep my brain focused on the important things. And thanks to my 4 followers! How cool is that! You guys are helping me so much with all your encouraging comments!