Dr. Fatty Finds Fitness

Surgery-eve

2012-02-16T15:41:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the big day. Getting my airway back. Yippee! Not so pleased that I have to be at the hospital by 5:30 AM. There's a REASON I'm not a surgeon, people. My mom is coming to stay with the kids and help Nanny get all 3 off to school as neither one of them are experienced in that particular chore. I'm hoping I'll be home well before noon and snoozing in my bed in a drug-induced haze.

This morning I went and bought more soup, crackers and jello for my post-surgery sore throat. I have some light ice cream in the freezer already. I'm not tracking right now and I won't be until I can get through this surgery. I have to admit even I get a bit nervous. I wrote about it on my "real life" blog. If you are interested you can read it here.

Today has been a REAL challenge. Luckily my board (bored) meeting didn't last as long as I was afraid it would. I was home before 9pm and that's GREAT! I really enjoyed all the comments yesterday. I haven't had time to reply yet. I keep forgetting I can do that. I felt better all day yesterday until the evening when my stomach started bothering me and I started getting tired. By the time I got home, I was tired but not sleepy. We watched Revenge, which BTW is a really good show, and then to bed. I couldn't sleep. So I watched Jon Stewart and Colbert. Then I finally dosed off. I slept terribly last night. Tossing and turning and coughing. Fitbit says I woke up 9 times in less than 6 hours.

By the time the alarm went off getting out of bed was almost a relief. Ever have those nights where you just feel like you were in battle all night? Well that was me. I was groggy, and coughing and grumpy. Coffee helped but not a lot. My morning was super busy and by the time lunch rolled around I was beat. I went home had some soup and laid down for about 45min. Didn't sleep but felt better and I've managed to navigate the rest of the day. Now I'm off to pick up kids and the usual routine and I'm hoping early bedtime. My daughter went back to school today so at least that was a relief.

I wish I could think of something witty and inspiring to say, but it's just not in me today. So sorry. Instead I'll just leave you with this. Whatever your goals, whatever your dreams you can have them. You just have to believe you can and then DO what you need to. Notice I said NEED not what you WANT. Doing what you WANT to do rarely gets you anything significant because significant achievements take WORK. I don't know about you but I don't always WANT to do the work. I sure enjoy the rewards when I do though.

Have a good night! I'll post when I can.

A better day.....and Tune out the Noise.

2012-02-15T15:31:00.000-08:00

I am feeling surprisingly better today. I decreased the dose of steroid yesterday and I think that is helping. Also my stomach feels better today. I haven't had the constant pain and that is a blessing. I've been so sick with that. I feel almost normal except I can't breathe when I move much. That's ok though because I know that will be fixed soon. I'm not eating very well, but I'm not worrying about that right now. Just getting through the next few days and then I'll be able to re-focus on healthy eating and working out.

Last night I went to pick up my son from Taekwondo and I sat watching what is usually my class with longing. Oh how I wanted to be in there kicking and punching and learning. But I know I can't do it now. I woke up today and felt better, so that gave me hope. I need to move. My muscles and joints are aching and I'm stiff. It's all because I haven't been working out, I know. I need to stretch and I've done a little, but not much. Can't wait to be able to start again. But, then I know you're tired of hearing all that.

Valentine's Day was a simple day for us. My husband made me a card with pictures of the kids on it, which I thought was very sweet. After 20years together he isn't required to buy flowers and all that. Besides they jack up the prices SO much at this time of year. I think that women want flowers so that their friends will be jealous mainly. I mean I love flowers, don't get me wrong, but I'm very secure in my relationship. I'd be upset if he did nothing, but I don't require a huge bouquet and certainly not chocolates. I hate, absolutely HATE going out on Valentine's Day. It's always sooooo crowded and especially on a week night. I'll save my date night for a more relaxing time, thank you.

The kids had cupcakes and candy and such. I got them each a PEZ and that's it. They don't need a ton of stuff. My in-laws sent a few little gifts and that is sufficient. My daughter is better and I hope will go back to school tomorrow. I have a board meeting tonight and will probably not get home until late. Then I just have to get through tomorrow and then my surgery. I just want it over with.

And now......some Random Thoughts:

1. Wearing sunglasses while talking to someone is rude unless you are on the beach. I can't believe how many people don't take off their dark shades in my office. I hate it. What are you hiding anyway? It isn't cool, even for Jack Nicholson. Take the things off and look at me when I'm talking to you, dang it.
2. Parenting is challenging. I think I MAY have mentioned this once or twice before, but just in case I'll reiterate . So yesterday I sent my daughter to school in a cute little long sleeved shirt with red hearts on it for Valentine's day. This is my youngest and the most.....interesting. Later that afternoon, a friend of mine whose daughter is also in the same class sent me a picture of the two girls at the party since I couldn't be there. I noticed right away that my daughter was in a SLEEVELESS tank top. WTH? So I think, well maybe she spilled something on her other shirt. When I ask her about this she admits that NO, she put that shirt on UNDER the other shirt when I wasn't looking in case she got "hot". I think she just wanted to wear the tank top. So I had to have a long discussion about sneaking a shirt to school is the same as lying to Mommy and that I was very disappointed that she lied to me. Plus I told her she's lucky the principal didn't see her because those kinds of shirts are against the rules and she might get in trouble in school. Sigh....good grief. Now her teacher thinks I sent her to school in that thing in FEBRUARY on a pretty rainy morning. Fabulous. I never expected to win mother of the year. Good thing. Plus this child is SIX. Lord help me.
3. What is with anonymous commenters getting all critical and yelling at bloggers? I do not get that. At. All. If you don't like what someone writes, don't read it again. And if you're going to criticize someone have the balls to man up to your identity. Lately I've seen a ton of posts from bloggers getting ripped by who knows who for all kinds of stuff. That's just nuts. Don't these people have better things to do with their time? I haven't allowed open comments for that reason. If you aren't willing to tell me who you are, I really do not care what you have to say.
4. Lentils are awesome. I never really had lentils until recently. Lately Nanny has been making lentil soup almost once a week. It is yummy and healthy and I am really impressed that I've discovered a new food.
5. People who use the last square of toilet paper and don't change the roll are NOT cool. And listen, even if it isn't the last square, if you can see the cardboard THROUGH the paper, it's likely time to at least be sure there's a back up roll within reach of the potty so the next person can get to it if needed.
6. Why do you care what people think? Recently I was talking to someone about going to a movie by myself. This person said they could NEVER do that because people would think she's a loser. Really? So am I a loser because I went to the movie by myself? And who gets to judge who's a loser and who isn't? Here's the deal. It just doesn't matter what others think. The only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself. You are the one who should decide what's right for you. I outgrew this kind of thinking in about 10th grade. Emotionally mature people are self confident enough to know that what others think is just that...what they THINK. It's an opinion, nothing more. And unless that person is important to me, then their opinion is NOT important. Move on. There are many more important things to do with your time than worry about what someone thinks about you. Keep the focus on YOU being the best YOU that YOU THINK you can be. All the rest is just NOISE. The noise is distracting you from achieving your goals and being who you want to be. Tune it out.

Alright, that's all my random thoughts for today. I'm off soon to my stupid boring long board meeting. Please comment so I'll have something to distract me from the meeting. Plus, I'll look all important receiving emails all evening, right? But wait....I'm not supposed to care what people think. Ha ha. No really I just get bored and love to hear from all of you. I'll admit it just makes my day to get comments. I love all your support you've been giving me lately. Thanks so much!

I'm still here.......Happy Hearts Day

2012-02-14T13:26:00.000-08:00

Yes. I'm still here. Sorry I haven't posted in days. I'm just biding time until I can get the surgery on Friday and get off these steroids. My stomach is killing me from them despite taking plenty of stomach meds, but I cannot stop them until after the surgery to reduce swelling. So.....I'm stuck.

I'm up about 5-6 pounds depending on the day and while I'm frustrated with that I feel like it could be worse. I have not been eating well as my stomach pain just won't permit it. I've had toast and crackers and soup. I can't really tolerate much fresh veggies or fruit now. Meat is also a problem. If I can get past the weird taste bud side effect, it kills my stomach. So...I'm still in carb city. However I see the exit sign and soon I can get back on the healthy highway.

I'm not working out now. I just can't. Pretty much I go to work, go home and rest at lunch, then work and home at night to rest. All is well at home other than my middle daughter is still sick today. She even missed her Valentine's Party, poor thing. Nanny made cupcakes with her this morning so that helps a bit. She still has fever, low grade and a terrible cough with her bronchitis. Hopefully she'll be better very soon. It just sucks when your kids are sick.

The weekend was good and just as I planned uneventful. We watched a few movies and some TiVo and I mainly stayed in bed. Other than doing the girls Valentine's and making their boxes for school parties, we did very little. I made turkey tacos on Sunday and they tasted great, but I paid with the stomach pain that night. Plus my daughter was in my bed as she was pretty sick that night, so no sleep then. I'm tired, but surviving.

I'm still reading and commenting on blogs so I'm around. I'm still inspired by so many of you staying on track with your exercise and diet goals. Makes me jealous to get back on track with the rest of you. I miss my workouts desperately. Sooooooo weird to me as I never, ever thought I'd be one of those whiny patients who are complaining about not being able to go to the gym. Those patients always got on my nerves because I saw them as putting their vanity before their health. NOW I have really changed that view. Working out and going to the gym is part of a healthy and happy life. Without it I don't feel as good. I really get it now. And I WANT IT BACK. Soon......very soon.....

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. I hope you all are not putting things on hold or "it's only once a year"-ing yourselves into something that you can't handle. Be very careful. I know indulgences for one day sometime lead to binges and detours I wish I hadn't taken. Be sure you don't end up with a bunch of candies or treats sitting around the house and setting yourself up for disaster. That being said.....I did have a chocolate covered strawberry today. My FAVORITE treat. One is OK, right? AND it is fruit.

Oh and I almost forgot.....I got the best news the other day. My godmother called and said she got a clean bill of health, she is cancer free. Good news. She's completed all her therapy and now it's just a matter of monitoring. Good news!

Have a great Valentine's Day!

Slug-ville......

2012-02-10T14:34:00.000-08:00

Not much to say today. Still struggling with my breathing, but I'm tired of talking about that. My eating isn't great and I can't work out. Blah blah blah. I'm still on steroids and I'm having a lot of pain in my tummy, likely getting gastritis/ulcer from the steroids. But in only 6 days all that should be better. There are MUCH worse health problems and I will take what I've got. No borrowing trouble for me. A friend of mine from high school just found out her brain tumor is back again so I will pray for her and be thankful my health is as good as it is.

Weekend will be boring as my middle kiddo is home with croup today. We won't do much because of that and because I really can't do much. I see a TiVo weekend on the agenda for me. I'm going to rest and not feel guilty about it, dang it.

Speaking of rest, I got an unexpected day off yesterday. That NEVER happens, but some weirdness in the cosmos combined and I only had 2 patients in the morning. By 10:30am I was done. All my work caught up. (Cue Twilight Zone Theme song ) The afternoon had only 3 patients and my NP had only 1 ! So I had my staff move my afternoon and I took off the rest of the day. This happens rarely, rarely and I wasn't going to waste it. I left the office and drove straight to the movie theater. I saw Chronicle, which is a decent Sci-Fi movie, but a bit slow. Afterwards I went home and got in bed. I rested the whole rest of the day and watched TV. Total slugville and I don't care.

Last night I didn't sleep great. The breathing wakes me up at night now and it sucks so I was tired. Then my daughter got up sounding like a sick sea lion, so I decided she'd better stay home. I headed to work after getting the other 2 off to school. My schedule was business as usual today and I'm just now finishing up in the office. I'm heading home tonight to hang with the kiddos. Husband has a beer date with his college buddy tonight. Good for him.

I wanted to take son to see Star Wars in 3D, we'll see if it happens. Do you plan to see it? He is SO excited about it. I am indifferent. I LOVE Star Wars, but I don't know about the whole 3D experience. We'll see. I'm dying to see the new ghost story Woman in Black. Anyone seen that yet? Looks really scary. I love scary stuff. Let me know if you've seen it.

What's on your agenda for the weekend? I'm thinking crock pot something for tomorrow. I know I'm in no mood to cook. Gotta think of something. I don't want fast food. Icky. Hope you all have a good and healthy weekend!

Random Thoughts........

2012-02-08T12:49:00.000-08:00

1. My surgery is officially scheduled for Friday the 17th. Is it weird that I'm looking forward to it? Not just because I'll be able to breathe, but also because I'll have 3 days of rest? As a working Mom it is so rare to have down time where nothing is expected of me. Where there's a rule not to bother Mommy. I can watch what I want on TV, sleep when I want, and even not get out of bed if I want. Sad but true. The surgery is old hat to me. This is the 4th time. Usually I have a really sore throat for a couple of days and I'm really tired, but then it's good. Should be a piece of cake when compared to my gallbladder last year.

2. I ate a lot of carbs yesterday. Seriously these steroids are driving me insane. Absolutely everything tastes like crap except crackers, toast and chicken noodle soup. Sigh..... Plus I think my stomach is starting to hate them. I'm having a lot of stomach pain like when I had an ulcer before. Sigh...For now I'm doing the best I can. This morning I hate an incredible urge to drive thru Whataburger and get a nice big sticky Cinnamon roll covered with icing. I really wanted to. Bad. But, I didn't. I ate an apple instead. Not the same, but crisis adverted.

3. I went to Taekwondo class yesterday and it was not pleasant. I so so so so so want to be able to work out! The doctor said I could do what I can tolerate. I went to class and found out it's not much. I almost walked out during the warm up, but I hung in there. I made it through crunches and push ups, but the kicking drills were a bear. I kept getting winded and dizzy with the turning kicks so I had to just stand there and breathe. It's just so frustrating. I made it through class and then went home and collapsed so I don't know how much working out I'll be able to do between now and my surgery. We'll see. I will say it felt good to sweat and that I haven't forgotten everything. It's amazing how much your body remembers. I just worry that I'll end up back where I was. I don't want that, and I KNOW I won't, but it still worries me.

4. Why is it that 30 seconds before it is time to get in the car my daughter's dental hygiene suddenly becomes her top priority? I mean she has all morning, plenty of time to brush her teeth and every day she waits until the last minute and wants to spend time admiring her teeth and brushing and flossing and rinsing! Today I told her she had to go RIGHT then or walk to school. She started crying and said, "BUT I don't want CAVITIES! My teeth are important. You SAID so!" Great.....so ME being the wonderful parent told her I didn't care if all her teeth fell out, she wasn't going to make us late. Then she started HOWLING that I didn't care if she had teeth. Sigh.....In the car we had a long discussion about time management.

5. It's never good when you ask your 6 year old how school was and they answer, "Well.......it was....OK. No. No. I mean....great. I had a really great day." Mommy alarms, warning bells, full on defcon 3 alerts go off. So I said, "What does THAT mean, exactly? Did you get in trouble?" Her: Seriously mom, I don't think I have the energy to get into it right now. Let's just say I did something, it's over and that's it. Me: breathing deep, counting to ten Her: OK so I was playing outside on the playground and this boy was chasing me and annoying me and I kinda...like...round-housed him. Me: So you kicked him? Her: Just a little. But then he left me alone. The teacher didn't see, but she told us both to be nice, so now I'll be nice if he is. The moral of this story is that parenting is challenging and sometimes it's really hard not to laugh.

6. Sometimes it's really hard not to think, "What's the point?" I'm having that thought a lot right now and it's not something I'm proud of. I am just frustrated with these steroids. I am bloated and I've gained weight and I can't workout and it's so easy just to think, "What's the point?" And then.....my rational brain kicks in and says to me: The POINT, you idiot, is that being healthy is NOT something you can do just when things are easy. There will be times when you're sick, down, irritable, stressed. There will be times when you cannot workout or you're hurt or you're busy. You can't pick and choose when it is convenient to live a healthy lifestyle. THAT'S the whole POINT, isn't it? That this is NOT a program or a diet. It's not something you'll do until goal and then be normal. The POINT is that IF you mean what you keep saying and this is for LIFE then, guess what? IT'S for ALL of your life. So suck it up. No one is perfect. Do the best you can. But, do NOT make excuses. Lot's of people have it worse than you.

OK that's all my randomness today. Hope you are enjoying your week!

It's Official......

2012-02-06T15:49:00.000-08:00

It's official. I saw my ENT today and I'll be having surgery in the next 2 weeks. Just have to see when I can get on the surgery schedule. He said the blockage (subglottic stenosis) in my upper airway is back, nearly as bad as the first time in 2007. Of course it's been since August 2009 when I had the last surgery and he says it is a testament to my improved cardiovascular state that I've been able to tolerate the decreased airflow this long. That's an NSV I suppose in a twisted way.

The way they diagnose it is to put a little flexible tube with a video camera up your nose, down the back of your throat and into your airway. So that's what I had done today. It is uncomfortable. I hate it. They do spray the numbing medicine in and it helps, but that stuff burns like fire down your nose and mouth. Then it numbs all the way down my throat and I can't swallow right for about an hour after. The bitter medicine rolls down into my stomach and makes me nauseated. It's just icky. But, luckily it doesn't last long. He didn't take pics today, but I found these from the surgery in 2007. It'll give you some idea of what I've got.

The picture in the upper right hand corner is before the procedure.That tiny little hole is what I breathe through. If you head straight down that hole you'd hit my trachea and then lungs. This is about the size of a baby's airway. The picture in the upper left hand corner is the picture after the laser burns away the scar tissue. That is about 2/3 of what a normal adult airway should be but you can see it's a huge improvement. The other 2 pics show after the doctor inserted a balloon to dilate the area before the laser. After the laser he injects medication into the area to try to reduce swelling and future scarring.

So let me get this straight.....I am in better shape so now that I get less oxygen I don't have symptoms and pass out as quick. Cool. Frankly I don't care, but I'm tired of feeling like I might pass out, getting dizzy easily and short of breath with any activity, climbing stairs, exercising or just when talking a lot. Frankly I feel like I did before I used to work out and it's pissing me off. I've come a long way and this condition erases all of the good strong feelings I worked so hard to achieve. My hope is that as soon as the thing is fixed, I can resume my hard workouts and get back on track again.

We don't know why I get this and this will be the 4th time I've had to have the procedure. Usually this is a congenital problem seen in kids. In adults it's almost always a results of trauma to the airway or being on a breathing machine. I've had neither of those. I've had lots of tests to see if I have things like Lupus or rheumatoid arthritis and they are always negative, at least for now, thank God. I do have mild acid reflux although the doc says the evidence of it is mild and doesn't explain the severity of my case. Oh well. Sometimes in medicine we don't know why. I know that as well as anyone.

I have to stay on the steroids until after surgery to reduce swelling in the airway. Luckily the surgery is simple and there is a quick recovery. Usually my throat is just super sore for a couple of days. I'll have the surgery on Friday and be back to work on Monday or Tuesday depending on what time the case is scheduled.

On another note.....I weighed in today and I am up 2 pounds from where I was pre-steroid, but down 2 from last week. I worked hard over the weekend to keep my appetite in check. This medicine makes you insanely irrationally hungry. I'll admit to a small bite sized chocolate bar yesterday. Over all though we stuck to our plan for Superbowl Sunday. We made our Flatout wrap pizzas. The kids love making their own. It's a lot of pizza for just a little over 300calories with the toppings. I had 3 hot wings, 190calories and water. I did allow myself a diet Mountain Dew which is not something I do much, but it tasted so good. For dessert I had some grapes. Overall I think I did well, not perfect, but pretty good and I enjoyed my Superbowl this year just as well as in years past when I gorked on junk.

I enjoyed the game. It was a really exciting one and well played. I guess I was rooting for the Giants since they are a fellow NFC team, but really I didn't care much. Just enjoyed the game. I always feel a little bittersweet saying goodbye to my favorite sport until August. Sigh....I do watch the commercials although they are not the highlight for me. Overall I'd say I was disappointed compared to other years, but it was OK. The girls loved dancing around watching the half time show.

I didn't work out this morning. I'm going to try to do some tomorrow depending on how I feel. Doc says I'm not going to damage myself, but he doesn't want me passing out. Says I can do what I feel like so we'll see. After the procedure today there's some swelling. I feel it and I've had a tired day and real trouble breathing this afternoon. A bit of a headache from the anesthesia also. I think I'll go home and rest tonight. I didn't do great eating today. This morning I had my eggbeaters sandwich with onion, peppers and pepper jack cheese. Then an apple for snack. But, after the procedure my throat felt weird. I decided that for lunch I was having frozen yogurt. So I stopped and had a big one with fruit on top. Not horrible, but not great. Then this afternoon I ate half a bagel. I have discussed my love for bagels before. I was nauseated and .......well....I just plain wanted it. Damn you carb craving steroid maniac.

My daughter did get her purple belt. I'm so proud of her. She worked hard to learn all the material. She is 7 years old, but she has to learn all the material I learned. She worked hard and she got her forms nearly perfectly on the exam. Now she's psyched about being in Mommy's class so I'll have to try to go at least once with her this week. Of course, my youngest daughter is a bit jealous.....we try we try we try as parents, don't we?

Alright so that's all for me today. I'm just tired of talking about my problems. I'd like to hear about your weekend and how you've been doing. I've been reading your blogs and trying to comment. How was your Superbowl Sunday? Did you watch the game? What commercials did you like? What did you eat?

On the Mend

2012-02-03T13:29:00.000-08:00

Feeling better! 24 hours after the steroids I started to feel better. I hate that crap, but it works. I got winded last night going up and down the stairs trying to get stuff together for my daughter for school today. Today is the 100th day of school and the kindergarteners always dress up like 100 year olds. It's adorable. We put her in a dress with white gloves and bun in her hair, little purse and a cane. We used baby powder to make her hair gray. Too cute.

I'm not weighing, but I can tell I'm up a pound or two, water retention already from the steroids. I haven't worked out all week and it's really getting to me. Now that I'm feeling better I think I can restart, maybe something easy like a walk or the bike. We'll see how I do over the weekend. I'm hoping to get back to TKD next week. I REALLY want to go tonight, but I know I'm not ready. Dang it. At least I'll see the doctor on Monday.

I'm drinking water but it tastes so nasty, with lemon and every way. Stupid medicine! I'm doing my best to keep my calories down. These steroids make you crave carbs like a raving lunatic. So far I've suppressed it with a little extra fruit.

No big plans for the weekend and that is a relief. I am going to rest and let my breathing improve. My daughter has her belt test in the morning. Daddy and son have a camp out Saturday and are going fishing. Sunday we'll watch the Super Bowl. Hubbie suggested a great dinner. Last week we made pizza on flat-out bread with lots of veggies. Really great for low cal pizza! So we're going to do that again.

I'm so proud of him lately. He's been really watching his food intake, asking me how many calories is this or that. But still not tracking himself. Talking about starting to workout. Maybe he's finally coming around and getting serious. I hope so. He needs to lose weight and get healthy just like me. It will be easier to do together. I'm trying to convince him to get on here and check out some of the guy bloggers, but I think he thinks it's silly. To each his own. I don't care as long as he's moving in the right direction. We're thinking of getting an elliptical. Any suggestions out there?

Have you ever tried those Flat Out wraps? They are 100 cal and lots of fiber. The pizzas are great and fill my desire for pizza without the carbs and calories. Hope you all have a good weekend! Take care!

Oh the Irony.

2012-02-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

Good lord this week sucks. At least my little girl's ear is better. No more fever so back to school today. However my son still sound's like an old man with smoker's cough. He's getting better, but NOW I'm getting it. Dang it. Why is it I can be around sick people all day every day and be FINE until my home gets contaminated and then I'm doomed? I went to bed early with a sore throat. I'm coughing worse now and I'm full of mucous. I hate mucous. Truly. I do. I can handle blood, poop, pee, and all sorts of variations, but have a patient hack a wad of mucous in front of me and ....ewww!

I called and got an appointment with my ENT for Monday as my breathing is worse and the inhalers aren't helping like they used to. I cry uncle. I'll get the surgery. Now it's a matter of getting on the schedule for the laser for my subglottic stenosis or upper airway scar tissue.

I'm back on prednisone because that seems to be the only way I can breathe. I didn't work out this morning I coughed all night and feel like crap. That's also why I didn't blog twice. I'm failing this challenge. Sigh. Anyhoo....I didn't go to TKD yesterday as my breathing had started getting bad and I knew better. Now that the scar tissue in my airway is bad again, the inhalers don't help much. That means when I get winded I can't do much but try to slow my breathing down and sit down. If I'm still I'm OK. So frustrating for me now that I WANT to exercise. How ironic.

I have an appointment to get my hair done at lunch and I really don't want to go, but I have to because it's hard to get those lunch time appointments. So I'll go and snooze in the chair if needed. I have my ipad so I can read and I brought my lunch. Although I don't really feel like eating. That's just plain weird to even think for me.

Today I've had yogurt with berries and coffee for breakfast. One of my whole wheat muffins for mid morning snack. I brought an Atkins shake and some fruit for lunch. I'm trying to drink my water, but it tastes so nasty on the prednisone. I thought I had some crystal light at work, but I guess I'm out. Have to restock.

I'm super tired of people asking for diet pills lately. As if there's a magic pill. Do these people think I'd be fat if there were?? And I guess since I'm still fat they look at me and think, "where does she get off telling me to exercise." Well, nowadays I can nip that in the bud with an explanation of my workouts and my weight loss and all that stuff. Shuts up that , "I just don't have time" excuse pretty quick. It also changes the way they look at me. Don't judge a book by the 60 pounds overweight I am! You don't know where I've been....

Anyway I didn't even really want to post because I have so much negative news, but Oh well. That's life. I'm reading and trying to comment so keep your posts coming. They help me stay on track on not just throw in the towel and give up. It would be easy to say, what's the point, when I'm on these steroids. But, I'm not. Never give up. Never stop trying.

Tale of Woe

2012-01-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

So yesterday ended no better than it started. Hate to be a bummer, but just reporting the facts. I had my headache until....well.....still have it some. Sigh. But, little girl has a bad ear infection. Poor thing. Now son has bronchitis and husband has a sore throat. So far my middle child and I remain well and let's hope it stays that way.

I weighed this morning and lost a pound, but I think it would have been more if I hadn't had the crackers and soup yesterday. I was just nauseated with my migraine and couldn't eat like I normally would or drink as much water as usual. I just can't drink water when I'm nauseous.

Little one slept in our bed last night so sleep wasn't great. She had fever through the night. Luckily son slept after I gave him some strong cough syrup and sent him to bed. I got up this morning anyway and rode the stationary bike for 30 min. I did 6.5 miles but that's all I had in me today.

I'm planning a class at TKD either at noon or tonight. Of course it is end of month which means I have to be sure all my work is done before I leave. I didn't get blogging done twice yesterday. Fail. But I did do my best and that's all I can do with a house full of sickos and me not 100%. I didn't get my tracker all done yesterday either. Not good, but I'm on track today.

I took my middle kiddo for a donut today. Don't judge me. What do you do when your kid is crying because she has to go to school and is upset that she's NOT sick?? Irrational I say. So I needed gas anyway and yes I did bribe her with a donut. Of course she is my normal eater and asked for only one plain donut and then didn't eat it all. If only I could eat like that. Happy to say I didn't finish it for her OR the other one I got since they were 2 for $1 or 1 for 99 cents! That one I'll take home to little girl for later.

Instead I had my yogurt and apple with my coffee. I didn't take time to fix a better breakfast today. Wasn't in the mood. I did bring along a yogurt and a cheese stick for snack later. I plan on TKD at lunch and hopefully I'll make it there. We'll see. Busy schedule and all that. I emailed the kids teachers about their absence. Don't want to get those calls later.

So far husband has called no fewer than 4 times to ask about what meds to give the kids. Nanny will arrive soon. Thank god. I hope I get through this day. Son's supposed to have a band concert on Friday and then camping this weekend and he's positively distraught because he wants to go badly. Other than that no plans for the weekend except Super Bowl of course but no big parties for me. I actually enjoy watching the game. Irritates me to be at a party where socializing is more important than the game.

Middle girl has TKD test this weekend and I hope to high heaven she doesn't get sick. She'll absolutely FREAK if she misses another test and she's been practicing very hard nearly every day. She told me she practiced at recess yesterday! Good for her.

OK, that's enough of my tale of woe. Hope you all are well and on track. Take care!

Monday Mood.

2012-01-30T08:59:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning with a terrible headache. Then my youngest was crying with an earache. Gave her a tylenol. I overslept so no workout today. Running late and forgot to weigh. I don't think I drank enough water over the weekend. I'm very tired today. I forgot my coffee so I stopped by Starbuck's. Been about 6months since I had that. Used my birthday gift certificate. It was good, but I will not spend those calories often, even though I get the skinny latte.

Anyhoo....took the girls to school and boy to school. He's sick with cough and I think sinus infection. Sigh. Got a call a little while ago that baby girl was in the office crying with her ear. Nanny picked her up and now I have to go home to look at her at lunch. I hate it when my kids are sick.

I forgot to blog twice yesterday. Oopsy. We saw The Grey and it was good, kinda depressing but good. We got home late in the afternoon after a trip to Costco. I love that place, but it wears me out. I was tired so we spent some time watching TiVo. Watched the Walking Dead and I love that show. Hubby hadn't seen any of them yet. Had breakfast for dinner with eggs and tomato slices. Pancakes for the kiddos. They thought it was hilarious. I didn't watch the ProBowl because it is frankly a sorry excuse for football. Went to bed, but didn't sleep well. Likely contributed to my headache this morning.

Plans for the week all depend on the kids and if they are sick or not. Middle girl has a TKD test on Saturday. She's pumped because she'll get her purple belt and then be in my class. She also wants her staff. And yes...they make them that little.

Wish I could be more upbeat, but that's all I got today. Hope your Monday is going OK. I just hope to survive mine. I'll weigh in tomorrow. I think I did well. I'm expecting a loss. Sorry for my Monday Mood. I'll be reading and catching up. I didn't have time to read much this weekend. Have a good one. More later.....

Too funny! And holy calories batman!

2012-01-29T08:39:00.001-08:00

Good morning all! Had a great time last night! Craig Ferguson was awesome! We had pretty close seats so I could see his facial expressions really well. He just absolutely cracks me up.

Now there are just a few comedians in my list to see. I really regret seeing George Carlin live. He was my fab of all time. The king really. If you young pups don't know who that is google him and then find him on you tube. Funniest stuff ever and timeless! I'd like to see Lewis Black and Robin Williams although the older more sober Robin Williams is not as wild. Again you young ones can look it up.

Also I really like Jeff Dunham and someday I MUST see Dennis Leary live because he too is in my fav list.

I drank one run and diet coke last night and ended up with a turkey club sand which that I ate about half and a few chips. There were not any good options at all. We did a TON of walking as that casino is like a 1/4 mile long or more and we walked the length several times. We played slots a bit. I'm not a high roller but I did win $60 at one point soI broke even. Too much smoke in those places to stay long for me with my asthma.

Oh by the way. Hubby and I saw a movie yesterday and they have started posting calories for their food. All I had was a coke zero but did you know that nachos are 1390 calories!!! A large dink and large popcorn is over 900-1200 depending on what drink you pick!! Hot dogs are about 400 a piece! Holy heart attack batman!!

Today we are seeing another movie. The new Liam Nieson. I just love him. Yesterday we saw Haywire and it was ok. A little slow for my action flick taste. After the movie we'll head to Costco to stock up for the week and then home to the kids.

What are you doing today?? Any comedians you've seen and liked or wish to someday? Stay on track Sunday is not food day people!
Here's pics of the casino

Off. To the show

2012-01-28T15:58:00.001-08:00

Getting ready for the Craig Ferguson show an dinner. Stay on tracks friends!

Freedom!!!

2012-01-28T10:03:00.001-08:00

Well it's official. Hubby an I have a whole 24+hours to be together sans kids. So funny because we feel kinda lost with free time.

Today we're having lunch at Blue Mesa Grill with is a Santa Fe type southwest cuisine place. They have some unusual choices. I went with the Spa Chicken and Spinach Enchiladas. 363 calories and 9 grams fat.

After lunch we will catch a movie then head up north to the casino where we will stay the night and see the show. It's been ages since I saw a comedian live and I'm really excited.

Just a quick post so I don't ignore hubby. Hope you are all staying on plan and enjoying your weekend! More later!

Yeah me!

2012-01-27T15:49:00.000-08:00

Post # 2 for today. Pretty sure y'all will get sick of hearing from me soon. Today I realized that this week I've exercised 415min, that's 6.9hours and burned 3,315 calories! And that's just since MONDAY! Yeah me!

I've had a good day today. As expected I was up about 1/2 pound from yesterday due to my enemy sodium. But that's OK because official weigh in is Monday. I say official because that's the weekly weight I record and track.

I'm very excited about seeing Craig Ferguson tomorrow night. Tonight is Taekwondo and then home with the kids. I'm going to post this weekend, even if it is very little. I'm tired right now and I'm sitting here trying to get the excuses out of my head for why I don't need to go to class. I'll drink more water and I'll make myself go. I always enjoy class once I get there. I'm having some asthma today so I know I probably shouldn't spar. Hopefully we won't be sparring tonight.

Sometimes I actually fear eating out. Especially when I'm on a "roll" with my healthy lifestyle. I don't want anything upsetting it. I don't know why. I guess I still don't trust myself sometimes? That's silly isn't it. I should be able to control myself. I get even more that way when I don't know where we'll be going for sure and therefore I don't know what choices I'll have. Silly silly. Most restaurants have at least something I can pick and stay on track. I've just got to make the right choice! But, I've got pistachios in my purse and I'll throw in a fiber bar just in case. Do you ever feel that way about eating out? Are there certain places you just have to avoid? What are your plans for the weekend?

Friday Random Thoughts

2012-01-27T12:22:00.001-08:00

Finally it's Friday. I completed my 10th straight work day of early workouts today. It's starting to get easier. I rode the bike 6 miles and then did one set of arm weights. Only so much time in the day. Wish I had time for more.

Random thoughts:

* Is it weird that I enjoy going to the bathroom? Not necessarily because of what I'm doing in there, but because it's quiet and peaceful. With the fan on I can just be quiet a few minutes. This is especially noticeable at work. I do a job where people are always asking me questions and wanting something from me. It's nice to just be alone a few minutes. Weird huh?

*If you are wearing a towel in the locker room at the gym DON'T bend over. Just sayin'. I got an unpleasant surprise this week at the gym. Not cool. Shivers....

* I really enjoy the fact that I work out more than most of the skinny people in my life. Sometimes when I tell them what I've done that week they look at me like "no way". I love that look. Yesterday a drug rep friend of mine asked if I was still up to my martial arts. I said, "Of course" He says, "So if you wanted to kick me in the face right now you could?" Me: "I could not only kick you in the face, but I could kick you, grab you and then take you down." Him:"Uh.Woah...cool.. No way....Don't do that." Then I proceeded to show him how high I can kick. Dude is easily 6 ft 2 and showed him I can hit him in the head with either a side kick or axe kick. Ha ha ha should've seen the look on his face!

* I haven't had any time to read this week and it's making me grumpy.
* I haven't had any time to watch any of my shows and it's making me grumpy.

*Speaking of the bathroom. Ever go to the bathroom and then laugh? Yeah..well..I'm weird that way. The other day I weighed and the scale was up a bit. So I'm basically pouting until I arrive at work and spend some time in the bathroom. I'll spare you the details, but it was really clear why the scale is up. Thank you veggies. I just laughed at myself for pouting for no reason. You'd think I'd learn.

* Only a few more hours to the weekend and actual grown up time for me and hubby. Yippee. Just a little nervous about food at the casino where we are staying. I've never been there but I'm assuming it's the same casino fare as most places. Must. Stay. Focused.

* I miss football already...........Senior Bowl this week, Super Bowl and that's it. I do not count the Pro Bowl as no one actually plays. Might as well be a flag game.

*
OK that's it for now. Considering I'm doing the 2 posts a day, I'll leave it at that. I'd love to hear your random thoughts....have a great day!

Doh!

2012-01-26T20:08:00.000-08:00

First day and I almost forgot I didn't post twice. I'm having one of those days I guess. Earlier I had a terrible headache. I was sitting at my desk thinking, "Dang it. This headache isn't getting better. Stupid medicine isn't working" when I looked down and realized that the medicine was sitting there in its happy little package and I hadn't taken it yet! Geez! I took it and guess what? About an hour later it was better. Imagine that.

Same thing happened with this post. I had this post written in my head and I really thought I had posted it. I was thinking, no one had commented and so I was checking to be sure it posted only to realize I hadn't written it I just thought I did. Sigh.....I guess I am just so busy I get distracted.

Today wound up being a decent day. It was busy but tolerable. Other than the headache it was good. I did miss my noon TKD class AGAIN. So irritating. It was a mix up with the schedule. That's OK. I didn't let it stop me. I went tonight even though I was tired. Hard class tonight and I had trouble. I'm congested and my throat is a little sore. I think it's allergies. After all that rain, the mold counts are up. Stupid mold. I probably have some fluid in my ears because when I tried to do the 360 round house kicks a few times in a row it was not pretty. I almost fell a couple of times and then I just stopped. I do not want to get hurt.

This morning I rode the bike 30 minutes. I was running late so only a little stretching and that's it. I didn't have time for weights today. For breakfast I had a bagel thin with egg substitute and turkey bacon and coffee, of course. I had all my water-128 ounces. For lunch I had boiled eggs, yogurt, berries and an apple for snack. Late in the afternoon with the headache I was hungry. I hadn't planned on eating that stuff for lunch. I was supposed to eat at home. That stuff was supposed to be my morning and afternoon snacks. I had nothing to eat. Luckily we had some baked lays in the office. I don't eat that stuff much, if ever, but it was either that or dive head first into the big bag of cookies left over from lunch or the cake one of my patient's brought in. The chips were 130calories. Smarter choice.

For dinner I had chicken noodle soup because y throat is more sore. I had a few crackers with it and some hot tea with splenda and an orange slice. Now I'm drowsy and tired and I can't remember the witty and funny things I had written in the phantom post I thought I'd posted earlier. Oh well. hopefully it will come back to me at some point. The day ended at 1471 calories. A little higher than usual for me. But, I did work out twice. I walked 9961 steps. If I wasn't so tired I'd walk around just to get those 10,000! I burned 750 in exercise. Over all a good day in the healthy eating and exercise front.

TKD was fun tonight as we did a lot of work with our staffs. It is so much fun. It is hard to learn for me trying to get the hand placement right and the moves down, but I'm learning. We did the usual warm up with crunches and push ups. They added planks tonight. Then we worked on kicking drills and finally the staffs.

I had a lot of sodium today. Won't be surprised if the scale is up a tad. Oh well, it will come off. I'm drinking as much water as I can. We'll see. Anyway.....post #2 for today is done. I'm exhausted. I hope that my sore throat is just allergies. I'm in no mood to be sick. Hope you all have a good night. See ya in the morning.

Two-A-Days...AND....Is it starting over OR giving up?

2012-01-26T08:10:00.000-08:00

So Allan has dared everyone to blog twice a day until February 22nd. That's a challenge I like. You see when I started this blog, I posted every day. I couldn't stop thinking and talking and writing about my efforts-the workouts, the food, new recipes, frustrations, challenges, victories and motivations. Back then I was losing and losing. Now it is more of a struggle for me.

Like a said a few days ago, I have been thinking about the differences between now and then. I've gone back to morning workouts for the last 2 weeks. Last weekend, I ate great AND tracked my food. I'm losing weight and I'm back in the swing of it. It feels great. But until this morning and reading Allan's post I hadn't realized I'd forgotten about the blog. Oh, I'm still posting. You all know that. I'm reading and commenting like always. But, my posts are every other day, sometimes days apart and it hadn't occurred to me until now that it may be contributing to my gains in November and December and challenges at losing.

This blog is one of the "things I've done differently". I can't forget that. One of the things that makes this attempt at losing weight different from all the other failures. I've used the excuse of being busy and no doubt I am, but I'm not MORE busy than a year ago or two. I'm the same busy. I'm not more stressed than then. So why less blogging? Well, I know why. I was not eating right. I was not exercising. Who wants to get on here and say "today I ate crap and didn't move, oh well."? NOT me. I'm not that kind of person. I was embarrassed and mostly frustrated with myself for giving up for a while.

Yesterday I read something I really liked:

If you are tired of starting over, STOP giving up.

Wow. That hit me like a ton of bricks. How many times have I said to myself, "I've TRIED and TRIED and I just can't lose weight. I've TRIED everything. Nothing works. I'm just genetically programed to be overweight." Truth was I had NOT tried everything for very long. Truth is I'd tried a LOT of things and given up on them ALL. Worst of all I'd given up on myself. Truth is I'd done a lot more giving up than trying. I had never worked out consistently. I had never stuck with a diet more than a few weeks. What I was saying was I was tired of starting over all the time.

Soooo all that being said, I'm up for the challenge of two posts a day. Even if one is calories and workouts or silly stuff. I'll post. It will keep my mind on my goals and my focus on the process and isn't that what this blog is for anyway?

What about you? Are you tired of starting over all the time? How many times have you started over? What are you doing differently this time so you won't give up again? How about two a day posts for you? Or maybe at least daily if you don't usually? Let's do this thing!! Time will not stop because I eat a pizza. I can either stay on track and lose weight OR have the pizza and be this weight again next year and start over. Not me. Not again.

Let's get rolling......

2012-01-25T14:27:00.000-08:00

I had a particularly horrible day yesterday. Not my diet, not my exercise....just my life. It ended with a particularly horrible evening and a fight with my husband so it pretty much sucked. Being a doctor is hard sometimes. Of course I cannot discuss particulars, but suffice it to say I had to give someone very, very bad news yesterday. It's always hard, but this was REALLY hard. The office is still really busy. We are still understadffed, but luckily we have 2 new hires starting soon. All of that together made yesterday horrible.

I got up yesterday and worked out on my bike and did 2 sets of weights for my arms. Then breakfast and all like usual. Of course I ran late in the office.....over and HOUR...which is NOT usual for my office and was EXTREMELY frustrating for me and I'm sure my patients. The lateness meant I didn't have time for TKD class, which always makes me grumpy anyway. I ended up working through lunch and eating very little. I hadn't packed lunch, just snacks. I had some grapes and carrots with 2 tbsp hummus. To be honest that was enough. For once I was stressed and not hungry. It's weird how over time my impulse to eat has changed. In the past I would have been stuffing myself or at least running out to drive thru somewhere and eat alone in my car for lunch. I just don't do that anymore.

Anyway, the afternoon in the office was worse than the morning and by the end of the day I'd had enough. I was irritated with one staff member and ended up kinda yelling at her, something I never do. But, dang it, sometimes it is just warranted. I'm usually the firm one, but not a yeller and I'm very supportive of my staff, but if you're wrong, you're wrong.

I ran late again in the evening, so I ended up leaving without finishing my work. I was NOT missing another TKD class. By then the storm from had moved in and it was pouring out, which I don't mind at all except traffic is worse and I ALWAYS get a migraine when it rains.Here I am driving across town with a migraine in the rain and having eaten very little lunch. Luckily I had been drinking my water and I had an apple I ate on the way to class.

Once I was in class I started to relax. I just focused on the moves and doing them right. I did have some trouble with my breathing as I always do when it rains, but I made it through class without too much trouble. Afterward the kids and I headed home, got drenched getting to the car and made it home just fine. Chaos ensued as usual. I didn't get any of my work finished which means I started today behind and I hate that. BUT, I was too tired. I also didn't get to see the State of the Union Address, but I like to watch it later anyway. The constant standing and clapping and such just gets on my NERVES. I like to watch it recorded so I can fast forward when needed.

Anyhoo.......food yesterday was great. I had a small serving of pasta for dinner which isn't often for me. I also had a big salad. I ended up with 1300 calories because I ate a little more at breakfast than usual, I had a banana. I worked out twice so I still had over 500 cal deficit. Fitbit says I walked 8500 steps.

Last night there were tons of storms here and lots of rain. The pond near our house is WAY out of it's banks. Driving to work was a real challenge. I swear people lose their minds when it rains and they forget how to drive. I thought I was going to have to get out of my car and physically remove a woman who would NOT move out of the exit so I was STUCK. She kept edging up like she thought I was trying to cut in the carpool line but I'd ALREADY dropped off my kids and I just wanted OUT. What the heck is wrong with people?? I honked THREE times and she just looked at me like she couldn't figure out what my problem was! So so so rude!

Irritated and wet I arrived at work, LATE because of traffic. Clearly I was NOT catching up this morning. I had already gotten up at 5:20am to fix breakfast for my hubby, pack his lunch and get upstairs to ride my bike. I did half an hour and then I did the video that came with my new foam roller. I'm sore a lot in my hips with all the kicking and I've been meaning to get one for a while. I got one and let me say that it HURTS, but I'm hoping it will help my hamstrings and iliotibial band. So overall I did 45minutes of exercise. I had planned a trip to the gym, but I am sore AND I had some errands to run so I didn't go to the gym. For a moment I felt guilty and then I remembered that I'd already worked out once today. To assuage my guilt I parked a LONG LONG way from the two places I went.

One was Lane Bryant and in general I don't shop there anymore. I can't wear most of the stuff, but their bras are great and I just HAD to get some. I realized last week that I have only 2 bras that fit that are NOT exercise bras. I've bought several of them and I wear them if I have on scrubs. But under real clothes they look weird sometimes. The two I have are WORN OUT. I haven't bought any in ages. Plus I haven't bought a bra anywhere but Lane Bryant in ages.....well maybe since college....other than the running store. So now I have several new ones and some new undies. I can go home tonight and toss this scragly stringy stretched out thing away!

I weighed today and the scale is down and I'm happy. I'm under 200 again. I never want to see it again! I've got to maintain this loss through the weekend! And speaking of the weekend.....Hubby and I are getting another date this weekend! Craig Ferguson is in town. Well...he's up in Oklahoma at a casino. We're going up Saturday for his show and spending the night. I'm so excited because he is so funny. But just to warn you....the world might be in danger.....two weeks in a row for a date night?? Just warning you that the zombie apocalypse could be coming any day. In order to maintain this loss I'll have to avoid the alcohol and the buffet there and I think I can do both.

But, first I have to make it to the weekend and I'm counting hours. Tonight is the showcase for the high school where we have to take son to see all the clubs and activities and get his schedule ready for net year and I'm not ready. I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not. He's such an awesome kid and we laugh all the time and have so much fun I cannot stomach the idea of him being gone! Of course I have time and I'll enjoy what I have and blah blah blah. I'll think about that tomorrow....

So that's it for now. I really have to focus on work now. Do any of you use a foam roller? Do you think it helps? As I sit here right now I am realizing that my butt and hamstrings are not sore and my hips haven't ached today. That's very exciting considering I worked out AND had TKD yesterday and the hard workout Monday with the trainer. Maybe there is something to it. I can say it isn't really easy as you have to kind of hold yourself up and roll around, but I liked it. I wish I'd bought a longer one though. I may have to get another.

Hope you all are staying on track! Keep focused on the goal and keep going!

Weekend Wrap up and TAG You're It!

2012-01-23T16:06:00.000-08:00

Hello all! I had a great weekend. Nothing special, but a lot of cleaning and organizing at home. Where DOES all that crap come from??? It's like it multiplies once it gets in my house! Junk mail, magazines, newspapers, kids toys.........it just never ends.

I ate well over the weekend! I'm very proud of myself because I've not done well lately. But not this time. I controlled my eating. I had 1600 cal on Saturday and that's more than I usually eat, but it was all good stuff. Yesterday I had 1153, again all good stuff. I weighed in yesterday at 201.6. This morning 202.6. I think it is because I ate a little later than usual last night. Anyway, either way it's a loss and I'll take it. I'm counting the higher of the weights since technically that's what I weighed today. So 1 lb for this week.

I'm getting closer to where I was before my cruise and the evil that is the holidays. I exercised every day last week, some days twice. I didn't "exercise" this weekend, but I did spend 6 hours Saturday and 5 hours Saturday cleaning house, including moving furniture, so I'm counting that as my workouts.

Today I didn't work out in the morning because I had a session with my trainer at noon. I just plain cannot workout in the morning and then with him. TOO hard. I did 1mile on the elliptical to warm up. Then he had me do some major core and leg work. I did deadlifts 75lbs, leg presses 225lb, Calf presses same weight. I did 50 situps with a resistance band, 50 reverse crunches and a whole bunch of other stuff that had my legs burning and wobbly afterward. I burned 550 calories.

I'm back to using my fitbit and now I remember why I love it so much. I did upgrade to the ultra. I don't think it is much difference, but I killed my other one with too many washes in the machine. So far today I've logged 8440 steps! I'm so happy that they completed the integration with LoseIt because NOW it sinks my activity AND my food between the two. SO happy. So basically I log my exercise and activity in Fitbit and my food in LoseIt. (I just like their tracker better and I've been using it nearly 2 years now)

About a week ago Michele at Ruminations tagged me in a post full of questions that have been circulating. Thanks Michele and I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. As part of the tag I'm supposed to do a few things. Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules. (done)

2. You must post 11 random things yourself.

3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.

4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

5. Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.

6. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You legitimately have to tag 11 peeps!

So here we go.................

11 Random things about me:

1. I am an only child. This makes it particularly strange to see some of the "typical" sibling behavior my 3 kids exhibit.

2. I'm a sports addict. I listen to sports radio all day. I watch ESPN morning and night. I love football, basketball and am learning to love baseball. I also like hockey, but don't follow it much.

3. I love to read. I don't always get time, but I always have at least one book. Now with my ipad it's easier. I can whip it out waiting in line or other things and just read, read, read.

4. I was raised by a single mom. I'm the first in my family to be a doctor.

5. I love, love, love the movie Finding Nemo. I know all the dialog and I'm constantly quoting from it. This summer while traveling in South Dakota, we stayed in a small town. That night there were very few choices on the TV. We found Nemo on a Spanish channel. My son and I were laughing so hard because we translated the whole thing and I do not speak Spanish! I just think there is so much in the movie that applies to my life. Just keep Swimming.

6. I hate, hate, hate snakes. Icky poo!

7. I've always wanted to fly in a hot air balloon. I've been up one when I was about 10, but we were tethered so we just went up a bit and back down.

8. I love ghost stories and scary stuff. I've been on ghost tours in many cities. My favorite was the Jack the Ripper tour in London at night through the neighborhoods where the actual murders took place. It was sooooo awesome. Not everyone believes in ghosts, but I do. I've seen them. One night when I was on call as a resident, I was on my way to the call room to catch a couple hours of sleep. The call room was in a older part of the hospital that wasn't used anymore. The call room was an old patient room. That night, a patient with an IV pole passed me in the hall way. He was an older man and wearing a hospital gown. It occurred to me that he shouldn't be in this area of the hospital. I turned around to ask him if he needed help and he was gone. Yep. I'm a believer.

9. My favorite city in the US I've visited is New Orleans. Probably because of #8. But also I love jazz and blues music. There's something about "Nawlins I just love. I've been there many times. The people, the food, the music, the history.....I just love it. But.........I don't think I'd want to live there. Then it wouldn't be as special anymore.

10. I have a Nanny that's worked for us for going on 10 years. She is Italian and she is wonderful. She's a part of our family now. She doesn't live with us, but she helps so much with the house and cooking and kids. I couldn't do without her. We found her through an agency. She was the first and only one we interviewed.

11. I originally planned to be a psychiatrist. I wanted to do Pediatric Psychiatry. I even took extra rotations in it in medical school. BUT, I decided it wasn't for me because the kids would come in the hospital, get better and we'd send them right back into the dysfunctional environment they came from. It turned out to be kind of depressing. Family Medicine is much better for me. I have a bit of ADD. Something new and different with each patient is much more interesting.

And now on to Michele's questions..........

1. Did you play a musical instrument in school? Which one? Do you still play? Yes I played an instrument-the piano and my voice. I was in choir in school. I used to be the pianist at church when I was younger. I still sing and I still play the piano.

2.Do you collect things? What? Not really.

3. What was the last sporting event that you attended? OU football game in November.

4. Have you ever seen brilliant night sky stars? Where were you? Oh yes. We used to go camping a lot when I was a kid. So many stars when you get outside the city. In Colorado 2 years ago, the kids and I sat outside and looked at the stars.......lovely.

5. What would a perfect day be for you? Any day I get to relax and enjoy my family is a great day.

6. What is one of your latest book reads? What kept you reading it? Just read the first in a series about a fallen angel called Hush, Hush. I really enjoyed the characters and the mysetery.

7. What kind of pen do you use? Whichever one is closest.

8. Apple or PC? PC, but I also have an ipad.

9. What magazines or weeklys do you read or subscribe to? I'm sure it won't surprise you to learn that I subscribe to Sports Illustrated and Sooners Illustrated. I also get Better Homes and Gardens and Southern Living. Plus Texas Monthly, National Geographic and Entertainment Weekly. We also get Consumer Reports, Popular Science, Scientific American, and I'm sure there are a few more. Geez that's a lot. I didn't realize how many!

10. What satisfies you about the work that you do?Helping people feel better. Being able to feel like I'm making a difference in people's lives.

11. What do you hope for yourself in one year? I hope to be a brown belt. I hope to be healthier and weigh less. I hope to get my throat surgery. I hope to get Lasik. I hope to travel.

I hope I'm as happy then as I am now.

And now I have to come up with 11 questions. So here they are:
1. What was the last meal you ate out? Was it as good as you thought it would be?
2. What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Was it good?
3. What radio station do you listen to most?
4. Which would you want to be a Vampire or Werewolf? Why?
5. What is one of your most vivid memories from grade school?
6. What was your favorite vacation?
7. Where would you go if money and time were no consideration? Why?
8. What is your one pet peeve? The one thing that drives you nuts.
9. Which is worse.....a complete physical exam(pap for women, rectal for men) OR a trip to the dentist? Why?
10. Do you like summer or winter best? Why?
11. What is one thing you wish people knew about you?

And NOW I'm supposed to tag 11 of my blog peeps. If you've already been tagged, I'm sorry.
1. My friend Jenn over at her new blog Real Housewife of Cleveland County. It's not a weight loss blog per say, but she has recently lost 40 lbs and taken up running.
2. Allan of Almost Gastric Bypass
3. Jan at Writing to Wellness
4. Patrick at Responsibility 199
5. Kyle at Getting Better and Better
6. Alan at Pounds off Playoff
7. Tami at Nutmeg Notebook
8. Amanda at It's All About the Walls
9. Karen at Waisting Time
10. Tish at Incremental Improvements
11. Anne at Carb Tripper

Okey Dokey. That should be all for now. I did spend time watching football this weekend. I sure was hoping one of the underdogs would win. Oh well.....What did you do this weekend?

What's your excuse???

2012-01-19T21:09:00.000-08:00

Every day seems busier lately. We are short handed at work. Trying to get someone hired, but it means more work for me and therefore more stress. I had a board meeting last night until 10:45pm so there was no time to do work catch up then. I sit here now with a butt load of work in front of me, but I'm determined to post today.

The week is going well as far as diet and exercise. I got up again yesterday and rode my stationery bike. After I did some stretching. Then I did 2 sets of arm weights-bicep curls, triceps, butterflys, chest presses, shoulder presses. I used my 8# weight because that's the biggest one I have. I'd like to get a set of those adjustable hand weights I see with the discs. Anyone have those?

I knew I'd have no time at lunch for the gym, but I thought maybe if I finished early in the office I could make it before my board (bored) meeting. Of course I was deluding myself, but I did pack my gym bag. I try to keep one in my car ready to go all the time. That way if I have an unexpected hour to hustle over there I can. Yeah. It doesn't happen very much but I don't need to give myself any excuses. I have an easy enough time trying to talk myself out of the gym as it is.

Yesterday I ate 1256 calories. I packed snacks to eat and lunch. I wanted to have a healthy snack before heading to the meeting because I never know what food they'll have. Turns out they had grilled asapargus. YUMMY. I love that. Aside from the nasty urine smell of course. They also had some barbecue brisket and smoked sausage. I ate a very little of that because I didn't want the calories.

On a side note.......did you know that only 22% of people are able to detect the odor in the urine of people who have eaten asparagus. Apparently there is a recessive gene that allows you to smell the odor. Apparently everyone's urine smells that way but only 22% of people can SMELL it. I'm one of them. See. I am special.

Anyhoo........

Today just plain sucked. I did get up and ride my bike. I enjoyed my morning workout today, but I didn't have time to do any weights or such, just a little stretching. Kids were in a mood this morning. Bickering. Irritable. Whiny. Distracted. That's probably because my little one came down at like 2:50am saying she had a nightmare about a rat running around the house and chasing her. SCARY. I let her hop in our bed for a bit. About 10-15min later, here came the other girl saying she was lonely and had a nightmare. Isn't it convienent then that they share a room? Sent them upstairs and told them to climb in bed together and go back to sleep. They always end up in bigger sister's bed. It's a twin bed, but they are still small enough to both fit.

SO yeah. I was tired today after only 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep, and that was interrupted. Sigh......That didn't help the mess of my day. Some days as an FP just are harder. I had a patient walk in with a insect sting to the neck having an allergic reaction right at noon. In the midst of that emergency we find out that the epinephrine we had was expired. Great. Gave it anyway since that's all we had. Luckily the patient was fine, but it killed my lunch since we had 3 interviews to do at lunch. After that more patients. THEN we had to call an ambulance for another patient. I had several doctors calling me which interrupts my day. On top of that it was like drug rep carrousel in my office.

A lot of doctors don't see drug reps anymore. I do because it gets my patients free medication. It's controversial in the medical community. A lot of people argue that it influences us to prescribe certain drugs. BUT my reports from the insurance companies show that my use of generics way out performs my peers so I feel like I am managing that...............but I digress.

Point is a lot of drug reps and phone calls means a lot of interruptions. At the end of the day I still had today's work to finish AND yesterday's. Fabulous. Good news is that Thursday is our late TKD day. My class doesn't start until 6:30pm. I stayed at work and managed to at least catch up some of it. I prefer to go to the noon class so we aren't so late getting the kids home, but I missed that class as you can see from the above discussion.

BUT the point I'm trying to make in all this rambling is this: it's always easier to go the path of least resistance. It would have been so easy for me to say to myself, "Look you already did 30 minutes of cardio. You can miss this class." I was tired and stressed, but I have made a commitment to do a certain level of exercise. Every week. I've also set a goal to get my black belt someday. I won't reach my goals with that or my health by taking the easy way out. There's nothing easy about what I'm trying to do. Not the black belt and not losing weight and keeping it off. It's hard. It takes commitment and consistency.

Over the last 2 months I've let that idea that this is life or death slip my mind. I can either get this weight off or risk dying. Plain and simple. It's not about how I look. My dress size. The scale. It's not about people telling me how great I look. It's not even about me being a good example for my patients or family. It's about the fact that being this fat can kill me. I know this more than anyone. I see it everyday. I'm not doing that. So.......I can either use one of the millions of things I've used over the years to get in my way OR I can live. It's not really a choice now is it?

Here's a few of things I've used to justify NOT exercising:
I'm too fat. People will look at me. I might hurt myself. I don't have time. I'm too tired. Exercise is just not my thing. I'll never be skinny anyway. I have too much to do. I should be spending time with my family. I just need some alone time for me.

It's too hot. It's too cold. It's too windy. I can't find my shoes. I forgot my shoes. I need new shoes. My friend said she'd go with me and then backed out. If only I had an "accountability partner". I'll lose a little weight first, then it will be easier and I can really focus on exercise.(huh?) It's too late at night. It's too early. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know HOW to do it. I don't have a gym membership. I have a gym membership but I'm too embarrassed to go.

My work out clothes are too tight. My work out clothes are too loose. My workout clothes aren't fashionable enough. My workout clothes are too nice and I might get them too sweaty. (No, really I actually had this thought once)

I'm sick. I'm getting sick. I MIGHT get sick. I might get hurt. My back/ neck/knee/ankle/leg/elbow/3rd finger/ left big toe hurts. I have a migraine. I MIGHT get a migraine. It's too noisy in the gym. It's too crowded at the gym. There's not enough people there then and the trainers will all be looking at me. I'll have to take the kids to the childcare center and I'm already a working Mom, so I should spend more time with my kids. I should be spending time with my husband/pet/mom/cousin/neighbor.

My closet is a mess. Laundry. Dishes. Kids homework. My homework. I deserve a break. I've lost so much weight and am achieving my goals so I deserve a day off. (pretty twisted one, right?) I'll start on Monday. I'll start on the weekend. I'll start after the holiday/birthday/kid's birthday/trip/summer break/spring break/cruise/vacation/doctor's appointment. I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant. I'm depressed. I'm just in too good of a mood. I'm too hungry and I won't have time to workout AND eat (WTF?).

I'm on my feet all day at work and I never sit down so I'm REALLY active. I "ran late" at work. (yeah because I was blogging about my terrific healthy lifestyle) My reader is just SOOO full. I haven't read or commented on many blogs lately so I should catch that up.

I've got my period. I'll be getting my period soon. I'm bloated. I'm dehydrated. I don't want to have to change clothes and shower again. I forgot clean underwear/socks/my makeup/shampoo/pony tail holder/gym membership card. I might be over training. I might get big muscles. I might not be building enough muscles anyway. EVERYONE needs a rest day.

I'll do it later. I'll catch up on my workouts over the weekend. I overslept. I didn't sleep enough. I forgot to track my food anyway today(how this relates to me working out, I don't know) I just can't face another workout. I screwed up my training schedule so I might as well wait until tomorrow and get back on track. I'm really hungry. I just ate. I forgot my water bottle and I have no money. (of course I have credit cards)

My cell phone battery is really low so I can't listen to my music. I don't have my headphones. My headphones are broken. I never have time to make me a good playlist for working out. I forgot the book I was reading when working out. I just want time to read my book.

I have diarrhea. I'm constipated. I have a rash. I might get a rash. I need gas (for the car, silly). I have a flat tire.(OK so that one should probably be acceptable). I really wanted to DRIVE THROUGH the car wash (while sitting on my butt of course).

I don't want to make my husband feel guilty since he's NOT working out. (seriously!?!) I don't want my BFF to be jealous if I work out MORE than her. (good lord) My BFF is so much BETTER at working out that me. I'll never be an athlete anyway. Once I start I'll have to keep going or I won't STAY in shape (most twisted one EVER!!)

I SWEAR! If I'd spent half the amount of time working out as I have spent finding reasons why I couldn't or shouldn't work out, I'd be at my goal weight by now.

Learn to recognize an excuse when you "hear" yourself make one. Spend more time thinking of ways to make getting in a workout easier and removing obstacles. Spend a little time planning workouts into your schedule and then treat it like you would a business meeting or doctor's appointment. That time should be committed to exercise and if anyone or anything tries to interfere with it, make sure it's important enough that you'd cancel a meeting with your boss/lawyer/doctor/dentist. Because it's THAT important. Because YOU are THAT important.

And that's why I went to class tonight, even being tired and stressed out. I want to live. I'm important. I only get one life to live. I want ALL of it I can get.

So did you recognize any of those excuses? What excuses have you been using to avoid workouts lately?

Weekend Wrap up.....late...AND I got an award....AND my aching abs!

2012-01-17T21:29:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to find time to get a post in since Monday. Sigh........But, here I am now. I guess I need to post shorter posts on days that are busy. I want to let Michelle know I got her tag and I'll post on that really soon. It's another thing I have to sit down and think about. I really enjoy those posts so I'll definitely get it done soon. I've been reading and commenting. I love the new reply option in the comments. Now I can reply to people directly.

Last weekend was good, but I ate too much and too much salt. When will I learn to control myself on weekends???!!!??? Sigh..... I didn't do much. I took my youngest to her play date. Then middle daughter and I got to spend some rare time together. We decided to go to the mall, mainly to shop at Barnes and Noble for books. I spent my gift certificate in William-Sonoma (LOVE that place) and got a cherry pitter. My cousin has one and ever since I saw it I've wanted one. Can't wait to use it. On cherries and seeded grapes. Any other uses for that thing? I'm sure my kitchen guru friends will have ideas. Sunday I took the girls to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. Is it weird that I'm REALLY excited to see Nemo in 3D in September?? It is honestly one of my favorite movies of all time. I've seen it 100 times, literally.

On Monday when I weighed I had gained back the pound I had lost on Saturday morning. Woe is me and my weight fluctuations. Yesterday I got back on track with food water and exercise. I had 1149 calories yesterday. My workout was an hour on the elliptical. I just love that thing. I don't really love my achy hips after that long. I do quite a bit of resistance, up to level 18 and back down. I hadn't planned on doing the whole hour on it, but I was reading and sweating and enjoying myself. I looked down and it was 46min. Well....with 5 min cool down that's 51 min and it just seemed silly not to do that piddly little extra 9 min and get the 60. I love when the timer rolls over. It's like the machine is quitting in defeat and saying, "You win. Now get off." Hee hee. Love it.

Also yesterday I ate a boatload of carrots. I don't know why I get in these moods and just eat tons of one thing or another, but I do. I've also figured out that when you eat crap for a day or two and then go back to eating good, whole, healthy, fresh and FIBER filled foods it can.....affect your......digestion. I'll spare you the details, but leave it to say that after the peas, carrots, grapes, apple, orange, green beans, celery and more carrots I ate yesterday I am making many trips to the potty. This alone should remind me why eating healthy foods CONSISTENTLY is so important. Your body just functions better on healthy fuel. I feel better today, more energy.

Today I've had 1049 calories, but I am full and satisfied. Again I had a lot of fruit and veggies and this will likely not help the aforementioned problem, BUT I know my body will adjust soon and everything will straighten out. I've been down this road before. I had a lot of fruit again today. I just love it. For breakfast I had egg substitute with a splash of chipotle tabasco. That's yummy stuff. For lunch I had some fruit and cheese. Just sounded good. For dinner I had chicken and brown rice. I also had some stir fry Asian veggies. These are new. I got them at Sam's last week and it was really good. 50cal a cup and the kids even loved it!

For exercise I got up early to workout. This is something I haven't been doing. When looking back through my blog to when I was losing weight faster, I realized morning workouts were routine then. SO, I'm restarting the trend. When I work out in the morning, my whole day goes better. It focuses my attention on healthy living and I'm less likely to succumb to temptations. I did 30min on the bike, 50 push ups, 100 crunches, 50 reverse crunches and planks. Felt so good to start the day sweating again.

At lunch I was honored with a plaque from the local radio station. Seems that they've started a thing where they have a tribute to doctors nominated by the listeners. I'm the doctor for this month. Apparently I got a lot of nominations. I feel so honored to be recognized that way, by my patients, for going the extra mile and doing a good job. Here's a pic of me and my staff receiving the award.

They also brought lunch for the office which is one reason I had cheese for lunch. There was a cheese tray. There was also a cookie tray, but I did NOT eat that.

After work, I changed my clothes and headed to tae kwon do for class. It was a VERY hard class today as we spent the class doing sparring drills. I definitely felt the 90 crunches we did in class after this morning! Then we ended with free sparring. I did great until the very end. I suddenly couldn't breathe. My asthma and subglottic stenosis strike again. This is the first time I've tried to spar off the steroids. Bad news. I'm going to the ENT next week to get checked and schedule my surgery.

I finished tonight off doing work I didn't get done at work. That's why I'm posting so late. I promised myself I would NOT go to bed without posting SOMETHING tonight. There's so much more I want to discuss like certain celebrities who have finally admitted they have diabetes and various irritations and experiences I've had lately, but .....speaking of bed.......I'm tired. I'll work on that post and maybe the post for my tag from Michelle tomorrow.

Welcome to all my new readers! If I'm not yet following your blog, please let me know in the comments. I love discovering new blogs to read.

Do you have a favorite kitchen gadget? Do you have a cherry pitter? Do you ever get stuck on one food for a while? If so, what?

Staring into the gates of hell........yeah it's the weekend.

2012-01-13T16:17:00.000-08:00

Here I am. Friday is finally over. Glad it's the weekend. Today kinda sucked. First, I had to go to the DMV to get my license renewed. I would rather be anywhere but at the DMV. What a beating! I waited for 45 min in the cold before I even got inside the building. Truly, the DMV is like staring straight into the gates of hell. One lady showed up with a folding chair, a big blanket on her lap and her knitting. People were laughing at her, but I was like, "Damn. I wish I'd thought of that." Thank goodness for my ipad as I read the whole time. Plus I did a lot of hopping around so I guess that will count as my workout today.

I had packed my gym bag thinking I'd go to the gym after, but 2.5 hours was a bit longer than I expected the wait to be. Unbelievably horrible place to work I would think. I tried to be pleasant despite the monotone and scowl I received at the desk. It's not HER fault the line is so long and the building is so small after all. But, I'm thinking she could try to be a LITTLE friendly. I mean it's not like I wanted to be there either. I was sure to give her a BIG grin and a "Have a GREAT day!" as I left. HA! I got to leave. She's there FOREVER.

After that I ventured to Academy to pick up some camping supplies for son. How dare he keep outgrowing his thermals and water suit! And tell me WHY they have like 15 cash registers when they never, ever, ever,ever have more than 1 open? Why?

Then to Sam's. Sam's on a Friday buying crap for a family of 5........Sigh.....sucks......But I guess that counts for my upper body work out, eh? On the bright side I did buy the latest Magic Tree House book. My girls LOVE these books. If you have young kids and don't have this series you MUST. It's really good and I'm not ashamed at all to admit that I enjoy reading them to my girls every night. Only thing is we're finally caught up. There are 47 of them. We are on the 46th. Almost finished it. I don't know what we'll read next. Any ideas? Maybe we'll start the Harry Potter Books. Has to be something that they will enjoy and that I will like also. My middle daughter has started these books called, "Dear Dumb Diary" and they are really funny, but she can read those herself so she has to read them to me for school. I need something that I can read to them that won't annoy me. I'm up for suggestions.

After Sam's I took the giant load 'o food home and unloaded. Grabbed some lunch and then headed to work. Had a busy afternoon in our satellite clinic. And now I'm wrapping up to head home. Son has a camping trip with scouts this weekend in Arkansas. He is so excited. They'll be backpacking and hiking which sounds great until you realize it's freaking January. But, the boys love that shit. The colder the better.

Tomorrow my youngest has a play date in the afternoon so middle child and I will spend a little time just the two of us. Doesn't happen much. Husband and I want to see the new Mark Wahlberg movie. I love that guy. Maybe we'll get a chance tomorrow, but of course there's NFL playoffs which I must watch. Only hubbie isn't very interested. He's disgusted with the Cowboys. I agree, but still love me some football and I must get my fill before it's over until August.

Other than that the weekend will be spent relaxing. I might do a little gardening, need to do some weeding. Yes. We have weeds still. This is North Texas. It's supposed to be like 70 on Monday. My freaking pear tree is starting to bloom. It always does this and then the ice comes and kills everything. Sigh....that's how it is. Better than snow all the time for damn sure.

Remember how I told you I got these really fluffy slippers for Christmas and I promised a picture? Well here it is. My youngest is wearing them. She LOVES em.


Now tell me they don't look like you shoved your foot in a small dog's butt!

Hope you all have a great weekend! So what are you all reading lately? Anything good? I love love love to read. Do you read with your kids? The same books as your kids? I still share books with my mom all the time. Love it!

Where does the time go? And....Weigh in.....

2012-01-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

Busy, busy, busy. Sigh.........I suppose all my friends out there in blog land get sick of hearing how busy I am. I am quite frankly sick of being so busy, but I'm doing my best to keep up. This week is zooming past which is fine. All the sooner for the weekend to arrive.

Here's the recap on my life:

Friday was my birthday. Happy Birthday to me! It was a lovely day. I took the day off which makes any day better, but even more special when it's your birthday. I went to my girls' school and read to the class and had lunch with both girls although I didn't eat with them. 10:30 and 11:00am is too early for lunch for me. I did bring them the Subway lunch and the novelty alone is very exciting for them. After that, I headed to the mall. Now generally speaking I don't like the mall. It's loud. It's bright. It's crowded. So I take it in very small doses. I saw not one, but TWO movies all by myself and it was great. Some people don't like being alone. I relish time spent alone.

I saw the Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn Part 1. I am a fan of the books, for the most part. I like a little more Vampire in my vampire movies. But I didn't care at all for this movie. Too much love sick kissy kissy teenagers for my liking. And I don't think they needed to split this into 2 films. Would've been better without stretching it out. I also saw Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Man that was a good movie. My big mistake was that I had just started reading the book and it is a complicated story. There are parts of the movie that are very disturbing, but it is a fabulous mystery and I loved the movie. Only thing is that now I'm not sure I want to finish the book. Now I want to move on to the next one. That way I'll finish the book before the next movie is out. I wish I had gotten the advice from Al who left a comment and advised me to wait before I went, but alas too late. Anyway it was a really good movie. After the movies I shopped a bit and found some great buys at Nordstrom where I had a gift certificate. I love spending money when it's not my money. Grin.

Pretty flowers office staff got me

We were supposed to go out Friday night, but my husband spent all last week in bed with a pinched nerve in his back. Instead we're going to try for this week. He's better but not healed. He surprised me by ordering pasta and pizza from our favorite Italian. Not exactly health food, but I ate a small amount. I didn't have cake, but I did have some chocolate covered strawberries which I see as almost health food. (kidding of course)

The rest of the weekend was spent being lazy. I did take down the Christmas paraphenalia. I'm always so glad when that chore is over. I took the kids to see The Muppet Movie on Sunday and the loved it. My youngest has been walking around acting like Animal since then. Too funny. Also singing the Mana-mana song constantly. We did watch football as college gave it's last hurrah and NFL playoffs begin.

Monday I weighed in with a 2.8 pound loss. I was quite pleased but know I have a ways to go. I worked out Monday with my trainer and he kicked my but. And my quads. And my abs. After about 100 squats and 50 lunges and a lot of other stuff I am soooo sore! Yesterday I went to TKD class despite knowing it would be painful. And it was. We did kicking drills for 30 minutes straight. Ouchy! That was after the 150 crunches and push ups and other crap. I thought I was going to DIE. But, as usual I survived. It was a great workout. Today I am SUPER sore in the quads especially. Using the bathroom is particularly painful as getting down to toilet level and back up hurts a lot. Now keep in mind that I am drinking 120ounces plus of water each day and you can see where this is a REAL problem. Needless to say, I am not doing much exercise today. I had planned to run, but HA I can barely stand to walk. Rest day it is. Maybe some stretching and such but that's it.

Me after working out with my trainer on Monday. The back of my shirt was drenched, but couldn't figure out how to take a picture of the back of me. Burned nearly 700 calories.

I'm doing well on my diet this week but the scale has gone up. I'm assuming it's water shifts from all the exercise and I'm not going to panic. Staying the course, eating well, tracking and I'm exercising tomorrow for sure.

In the office we had a surprise departure of a long term employee who decided to move back home to Arizona. Sad to see her go, wish her the best and we're back to being shorthanded after only one week of being fully staffed. I hate hiring. Other than that the office is zooming along and busy with the cold and flu season upon us. The kids are back to full swing at school and homework is buzzing, activities, and all the hub-bub that comes with school. It's exhausting, but it's so cool to see my youngest learn to read and my middle daughter is learning the joy of reading as well. She's started these books called Dear Dumb Diary and they are hilarious. I genuinely enjoy her reading to me from them. Reading is one of my very favorite things to do in the whole world. I love seeing my kids learn to love it also. My son retires nightly to read before bed. It makes me proud.

Today I'm wearing a new outfit I got at Nordstrom. I'm undecided on it. I like it, but maybe I'm just too sore to really like my body today. I had the damnedest time trying to get a picture of me to show you, but here goes. I'm wearing my long black boots. I was wishing I had gray ones, but haven't found any I like yet. I've gotten lots of compliments, but I'm just not used to wearing clothes that show my body. The skirt is short, above the knee. Freaks me out a little

So what have you done so far this week to meet your goals? How do you feel about wearing different styles as your weight changes? Have you ever felt uncomfortable with your weight loss?

Still Kicking and I have a weapon.

2012-01-05T16:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a successful day. After the morning donut fiasco, I was able to proceed with pretty much a normal day. I did go to the gym although I didn't want to. I hate going to the gym in January. For one thing, it's crowded. I know, I know....all those people need to get healthy too but still it is annoying. PLUS as a chunky chick going in to the gym in January people look at you and think you are just one more person with a resolution. But, I'm not. I've been working out at this gym a long time. I guess I'll just have to take comfort in the fact that the trainers all know me and so do the other regular types.

Food was good yesterday I ate healthy food. I did have a momentary brain fart when I took a bite of my kid's cookie when she shoved it in my face. Other than that, the water was ingested and pee was flowing. I did 40 min on the elliptical and it felt good to be back at it. I'm reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as my "gym book". I have one I only allow when working out. It's really good so far. I'm thinking of seeing the movie on my day off tomorrow.

Today was good. First day back at tae kwon do and it was difficult. I'll likely be sore from the 120 crunches and 15 push ups as well as all the kicking. It really is hard being away from it for 2 weeks. Getting back to it takes some time. You just use muscles doing those kicks you don't use doing anything else. But, it felt super good to work up a sweat and kick the crap outta something. Also, I now have a staff weapon. Oh yeah......it is so much fun and cool to learn the drills. I feel like such a bad ass.

I plan weigh in on Monday. The scale is going down so far this week. Feels really good to be back in the swing of what is now routine and my lifestyle.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I always take the day off and do something for me. I find myself reflecting back on the year and where I am now versus a year ago, two years. I'm overall happy with it. I'll post more on that later because I'm still mulling that deep thought business over. Plus I have to pick up the kids from TKD soon and I have a conference call in an hour. Ah.......the life of the working Mommy......

I WANT A DOUGHNUT!!!!

2012-01-04T15:07:00.000-08:00

The alarm went off at 6:35am and by 6:44am I was finally opening my eyes and beginning to stretch when I hear it. Crying. I looked at the clock again and decided that I would indeed be facing this day whether I wanted to or not. Sitting up in bed, I looked up to see my youngest child sniffling and crying. Ready to comfort her from a bad dream or mediate some sort of sibling dispute, I began to ask her what happened when out of her mouth came the statement, " I WANT A DOUGHNUT!"

Shocked and confused as to why the pursuit of a tasty sugared breakfast pastry would make a 6 year old sob, I asked calmly for her to repeat her statement. " I SAID....I WANT A DOUGHNUT."

OK. This is a new one. I have not in 14 years of being a parent ever been roused from bed by a crying child demanding pastry. I have no idea where she got the idea that I had a doughnut to give her in my bed. Perhaps she thought I have a secret stash under my pillow? After explaining that I do NOT, in fact, posess such a treasure and that if I did I certainly would not deny anyone in such a state of distress, I asked her why in the world she wanted a doughnut.

Apparently 6:47am is not the time for a 6 year old to articulate the rationale for anything as the question made her bawl harder and frankly she became down right angry. "Because they are GOOD! And I REALLY WANT ONE."

Well.....it's hard to argue with such logic and I certainly wasn't going to win any debates without coffee. I tried the old standby....distraction. "Why don't you go watch some TV? I'm so glad you are up early and you even got all dressed. OH I like your new sweater. Isn't it nice? The one Nana got you for Christmas. Since you were so good at getting dressed, I'll let you watch TV while I shower."

This seemed to confuse her a bit. Mission accomplished. She was only sniffling now and cast a glance at me that said, I KNOW what you're doing. But....I really want to watch my show. (generally TV in the morning is NOT allowed in my house) Somewhat reluctantly, she headed off to the living room. Another parental crisis averted.

Feeling quite impressed with myself and my incredibly intelligent and skilled parenting expertise, I headed off to shower and dress. Fifteen minutes later I emerged clean and dressed and mostly just ready for coffee. She was sitting on the sofa happily watching some cartoon on PBS, still red eyed from crying, but calm. My middle daughter had now joined her and was pleased to see the TV on. I asked the question thinking that it was now safe. "What do you guys want for breakfast?"

Suddenly it was clear to me that my expertise in parenting was not nearly as refined as I had thought. If I had thought that moment through, I would have just quietly gone to the kitchen and prepared her favorite oatmeal. It probably would have done the trick. But, the question.......that question was at once a trigger for what I can only describe as a meltdown.

She looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. Obviuosly she'd been quite clear in her requests for breakfast foods that morning. What the heck was wrong with mom anyway? Had she forgotten English? Did she not KNOW what a doughnut was? WHY is it so hard to understand? Doughnuts are good. I like them. I want one. And I want it NOW.

Of course none of the above was articulated, but CLEARLY it was implied by the crying and sobbing and chanting of "I want a doughnut. PLEASE I want a doughnut, Mommy."

I calmly sat down next to her on the sofa. I looked lovingly into her eyes and took her into my arms. I told her how much I understood that doughnuts are yummy. I also explained that they are not good for our bodies and they are for special occasions. Today was a Wednesday like any other and did not warrant such recognition. To this she responded that to HER it was a special day because for HER it was ART day and ART day is SPECIAL!

Alright. Right about now, I've had just about enough of the logical parent tactic. Didn't seem to be working anyway. Time for phase 2: The because I said so.

I told her she was NOT getting a doughnut. I reminded her that we do NOT eat doughnuts regularly in this house. I can count on one hand the number of times in the last year this child had doughnuts for breakfast. I explained that there is no such thing as a pastry deficiency and that nobody NEEDS a doughnut. Our body needs healthy nutritious food and by God, she was going to have a HEALTHY breakfast before school.

I am happy to say that she seemed to recognize her defeat. She was contemplating all of this and seemed to accept it. We decided on oatmeal and orange juice. Mission accomplished. And then.....

"Mommy. Can I have hot chocolate?"

Sigh..........

Here's to Not Sucking....One Moment at a Time

2012-01-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

First post of 2012! Finally! I had a very fun and busy New Year weekend. No time to post. I was using all my time to enjoy my BFF's visit and my family. We realized that this was the 12th year we've spent New Year's together! It is a tradition that I've come to cherish.

On Friday, hubbie, BFF, and I spent the day shopping. We saw a movie-Mission Impossible, which was great. Then we had lunch at a cute and great restaurant and the weather was so good, we sat out on the patio enjoying the sun! We had a long leisurely lunch and spent time catching up. It was a wonderful day. That night we headed home, watched movies with the kids and then the OU bowl game on TV. OU won their game. Whew. I was worried with all the injuries.

Saturday, New Year's Eve, I planned a big dinner and invited a couple of friends over. I slow roasted a prime rib and served it with a tasty salad and roasted potatoes. OH and we had crab cakes for appetizer. It was sooooo tasty and awesome. I had a few drinks. I did not count calories, but I did try to keep my portions reasonable. We spent the evening watching TV, laughing and playing board games while the kids played. It was just a great time. We stayed up very late (early?) and I didn't go to sleep until around 3:30am!

Sunday was a sleep in and lazy day. We always do our Christmas gifts on New Years day. Usually while watching the Rose Parade, but of course it wasn't on until Monday this year. Boo. Anyway, the kids were happy and we had yet another round of gift mess to clean up. I cooked a ham and black eyed peas for dinner so now I can buy that lottery ticket, good luck and all that. I watched only part of the horror that was the Cowboys loss. Yucky. On a much brighter note, we did watch The Help which was a very good movie.

Yesterday I cooked a big breakfast-eggs, bacon, toast for everyone. Pancakes for the kids. We ate late and then spent the morning relaxing and watching the Rose Bowl parade. I love that parade! BFF and kids left back for Oklahoma in the afternoon. I ran a few errands with the kiddos and found the stores much too crowded so I high tailed it back home after only 2 stops. Wal-Mart is......tiring. Then the rest of yesterday was spent watching football and eating left overs, preparing for school to resume. I did not do one bit of Christmas take down. I just wasn't in the mood.

This morning was surprisingly uneventful for a back to school morning. All the kids were up and dressed on time. I was so happy right up until my little one got mad that she couldn't get her coat zipped and threw her backpack and lunch bag on the floor. She then proceeded to throw an outright crying fit and refused to get up when time to get in the car. I told her that she'd probably be ok there by herself and wished her luck for the day. This resulted in a very sour, pouty expression, but she was in the car soon after and we even made it through carpool on time.

OH and I forgot. Apparently my son has no coat that fits. How does this happen every freaking year? I swear I'm a loser Mommy. Every year one or the other of my children has no cold weather clothes and I have to run that day to the store to buy some. This year it was my son. The temp this morning was 23 degrees which is COLD for north Texas. His coat wouldn't fit and Daddy's old one was too big. Soooo he went to school with 2 hoodies. Styling by any 14 year old's standard. Guess where I was at lunch today? Buying a coat. Which is fine because I got him a nice leather jacket on clearance for $40!

Of course I planned on going to TKD and I woould have if it hadn't been for the continuous stream of patients in the office today. I hate post holiday catch ups. Plus there is the first of the year change in insurance, need new prescriptions for the new pharmacy, I have a deductible, I don't know if my new insurance covers it, chaos that happens like clockwork in a primary care docs office come Jan 1. Not to mention the weather change. All of that combined makes the office nutso.

I weighed this morning. I've gained 16 pounds. Whoa. Typing that number made it real. I knew I'd gained 10 after the cruise and until the last 2 weeks, I was doing fine, maintaining. But, last week when I got the bronchitis I was put back on steroids. Of course that is no excuse, but I'm puffy and swollen and a carb craving machine on that crap. Add holiday treats and fun and it's a recipe for disaster. Luckily I'm on the down hill end and will be off them again soon.

Today, I've eaten well. Drank all my water and tracked my food in LoseIt. I have peed a million times today because I hadn't been drinking all my water lately, but I already feel better. The water makes a huge difference! I'm hopeful that I can get in some exercise tonight, even if it's a quick walk.

I am pleasantly surprised to be in a good mood. I am usually starting to feel my winter blues come on this time of year. Maybe it's because we've had a lot of sunshine? Maybe it's the glow of prednisone? I don't know, but I'll take it. I feel ready to take back control on my diet. Ready to get back to work toward my goal. I don't do resolutions, but I did see one I really liked and have decided I can do. Helen over at Doing a 180 had a great post and I've decided to steal her resolution.

In 2012 I don't want to suck.

It may seem silly, but when I saw this I totally got it. I want to be the best me I can be. As long as I'm on my way to that goal every day, I will not suck in 2012. As long as I keep my focus I know I can do it. I've been reading a lot of blogs. There are a lot of old friends returning to blog-world after an absence. Glad to have you back if you've been gone a bit.

Just remember this......in a few weeks when the initial inertia has worn down from your New Year's new leaf and you are starting to slide, make a few bad choices.......remember that you can do this. Try to bottle that feeling of motivation you have now and really savor it so that later you can remember how good you feel right now. Focused on your goal. Putting all you effort into getting where you want to be. Feeling confident that this time is for good. Then when you have that I-can't-do-this moment you can get past it. And that's really all it takes to be successful. Getting past that moment when you want to quit.

I hope all of you are finding the New Year treating you well. What are you doing differently to keep you successful lately? How is your New Year so far?

Christmas Catch-up and Look who I saw!

2011-12-28T15:00:00.000-08:00

I do not want to be one of THOSE bloggers who start a blog, lose some weight and disappear into the never-land of the internet. I have not been able to blog over the last week due to the fact that I had no internet connection in rural Kansas where we were visiting with my in-laws. Well....there is internet, but dial up just doesn't work for me. Very little cell service there also. But, I'm home now and ready to catch you all up on my goings on.

We left for Kansas Wednesday night after work. Stopped half way in Norman at my Aunt's where we dumped most of the presents. Early Thursday morning headed for Kansas. Pulled into the driveway just as lovely large white fluffy flakes began to fall. Alas the ground was too warm and the snow didn't last, so there wasn't enough to play in, but it was lovely to look at for a day. The next morning I got up to cold, but sunny skies. Just the kind I like for a walk/run. So off I went down rural roads, the sun shining and the frost nipping at my nose. It was a nice run. After I returned, I did a little TKD practice, but decided that turning kicks on gravel and frosted ground was a bad idea. I saw a fall in my future and went back inside.

A trip to the store later and I had the fixings for dinner. My rum raisin apple pie was on the agenda for my father in law. It's the only time he gets it so I make it for him at holiday dinners. I did not eat any however as I have never liked apple pie. I did partake in a couple of snicker doodle cookies, but overall kept my sweets to a minimum. I can't say I ate healthy food over that weekend, but I can say I tried to moderate my portions. I spent most of that weekend cooking and doing dishes, but managed to get in some quality Yahtzee games with the kids. We had our presents with the in-laws on the 23rd and I received a lovely robe and slippers. After my weight loss, I realized that my current robe was a 26/28 and will wrap around me about 3 times. The new one is a size large and fits. It is red and fluffy and I love it.

Christmas eve morning was spent packing up to head back to Norman. Three kids can do a lot of damage to a house in 2 days time. Took a while to find all their toys and gifts and such. Packed up and headed south, the traffic was surprisingly light and the day was sunny which made for an enjoyable and quiet ride. Especially when combined with the headphones the kids were wearing.

Upon arrival in Norman, I found that I was requested to finish the German Chocolate cake my Aunt was baking and other various cooking duties for dinner the next day. We say dinner, but here in the south we really mean late lunch or 'linner" as we jokingly call it. There was a huge spread planned with ham and turkey, casseroles and salads, desserts and cookies and rolls. Your typical Christmas luncheon from hell. That's ok, because I do not like German chocolate cake and by the time I finished cooking on Sunday I was not so much in the mood to eat. I had food, good food and I enjoyed it, but my portions are significantly different from years past and their were no seconds or thirds.

The presents were unveiled early Sunday morning as Church began at 11am. We were up at 6am. Thanking God once again for coffee. The children were all thrilled with their gifts. Son got a new iphone which has been attached to him since. He also got these and I quote: Really cool neat headphones that go over your WHOLE ear. Like not IN it, but Around it and the SOUND is like so MUCH better....... Yeah kid. Those are called HEADPHONES and they were the original ear buds. He is totally into music and is constantly streaming pandora. Thank god for unlimited data plan.

The girls got their wish: Nintendo DS and a princess suitcase and a diary with a REAL lock and key. They also got plenty of new clothes, some barbie stuff and a couple of new board games I'm looking forward to checking out this weekend.

I got plenty of nice things and then some....well weird ones. But, the husband tries and I love him. Plus we've been married now far to long to get upset over a less than stellar Christmas gift. Who wouldn't want a waterpick anyway? I did however get the blue ray copy of Super 8 and my friends who grew up in the 70s if you haven't seen this you must. No really. Right now. Stop reading and go watch it. Come back later...... I love that movie. It is funny and cute and thrilling and there is action. My 14 year old loved it although I had to explain a few things about the 70s to him. I spent the whole movie going, "I remember that." And "I HAD one of those." Fun fun movie.

The less than happy gift this Christmas was a roaring case of bronchitis, which I have been nursing. I had to go home early from work yesterday and YES doctors do get sick. And YES I've seen a doctor about my cough. I've heard all the jokes before. I suppose as physicians we see any personal illness as a bit of a failure and I HATE canceling patients, but I hate coughing all over them more and when I cannot walk a few feet without hacking, even I must surrender.

Today has been much better. Thank you Prednisone. Thank you inhalers. And I am starting to feel a bit better. Which is a good thing as BFF and her 2 kids arrive today. It is our annual New Years gathering where we hang out for a few days, play games with the kids, laugh, watch football, drink a bit and visit. Presents to be opened New Years day with black eyed peas to follow. Yes you read that right.....if you don't know why you eat black eyed peas on New Years day you must be a damned Yankee.....google it.

I am sorely lacking exercise since my taekwondo gym is closed until the New Year. I miss it terribly, but cannot workout as I am wheezy wheezy right now. It's OK. I'll not quit. I have a gained a little weight. I'm up about 10 pounds since the cruise at Thanksgiving, but as I look back over this year I see mainly success and HEY, I'm still here. Not giving up. Not ever. I have a goal and I will reach it.

And now a few random things......Stephen Kings new book 11/22/1963 IS AWESOME. Simply awesome. I haven't finished it yet. It is long long long, but oh so worth it. You really should pick it up. It's just plain great. My new iphone 4s has the Siri thingy lady in it and frankly creeps me out a bit. Although I haven't used her for real information, I have enjoyed my family and friends asking her random questions like how do you roast a pig or where can you bury a body near here.

My in-laws got me a pair of the fuzziest damn slippers you ever saw. In fact they look like I shoved my foot up a small dog's ass. I simply must post a picture for you to understand. I really really wanted to return them, but they seemed sooooo wanting me to like them and the GIRLS just freaked over them and think they are the best thing ever. I'll admit they are the warmest slippers I've ever worn, but of course a small dogs orifice would be wouldn't it?

Just before I left for Kansas I had the awesome opportunity to meet one of my bloggy friends in real life. Yes....I met someone in real life and had lunch with her. Someone that I met on the internet. NO it didn't end like one of those made for TV movies where someone gets kidnapped and the message is....beware the internet stalker. No it was very pleasant and amazingly Jan from Writing to Wellness was exactly as expected. Intelligent and kind and a lovely conversation ensued. Of course as a fellow family physicians we spent a lot of our time talking about medicine. We had a tasty lunch with promises to repeat anytime we get the chance. She even had some very nice things to say about me in her recent post. If you don't read Jan's blog, you should. She is amazing and not just because she's lost a ton of weight. She is inspiring for a whole host of reasons not least of which how she handled her breast cancer she's been through over the past year.

Well.....I suppose I should stop here although there's so much more I could go into. That's what happens when you haven't had a good chat with friends in a while. I'm amazed at the friends I've met here on line. I never dreamed that when I started this blog to help me stay on course with my healthy living I'd meet so many great people. I hope to be back to regular blogging although this weekend will be busy with my best friend and her kiddos. We plan a whole day of grown up only fun on Friday. Likely some shopping, dinner and maybe a movie.

As always thank you for your support and never give up.

Naughty and Nice

2011-12-14T20:56:00.000-08:00

OK so my life is moving at such a pace I cannot seem to get a grip on everything I need to do. That includes posting on this blog! I'm STILL not done shopping and yes my friends I am WELL aware of how many days I have left. There's been a lot going on. Both good and bad. Thought I spend some time catching you up.

Nice: I've attended my first few classes as a purple belt. Every time I move up I'm freaked out by how much more material I have to learn. How much harder things are. But this time I'm just pysched to get to learn a new weapon-STAFF. That's right my friends. I'm now learning some authentically cool shit. Yeah me.

Naughty: Stupid back. So you might recall that during my last belt test nearly 2 weeks ago I fell more than once. Apparently this jacked up my back. Over the weekend I bent down to pick up something (I'm sure something my bratty kids left strewn all over the floor) and the resulting sharp stabbing pain and inability to straighten up was horrible. I spent the rest of the day lying in bed on a heating pad and taking Motrin.

Nice: Luckily the back straightened up in time for me to clean the house and work my butt off to get ready for the freaking Birthday party. 10, yes TEN, 6 year old girls. 3 hours.........Maybe this should've been in the naughty category.

Naughty: My kids. That's right my friends. Apparently I have not reminded them enough that SANTA is watching. Especially the little one. I swear there are days I know that if I'd had her first she'd be an only child. Yesterday I was saying how my birthday was coming up.....THEY asked.....and she said my birthday was a "poophead" and "booty butt". Alrighty. I can get past that. I kinda feel the same way. This morning she was a holy terror. GUESS who promptly texted Santa and let the big guy know that I just wasn't sure little smarty brat britches was getting Christmas this year. Yes my friends. I did. This resulted in a LOT of crying and pleading and frankly the rest of the morning was down right......NICE.

Nice: So this evening My little princess was being very obviously good. (Thank you modern technology) She says to me, "Mommy. You see I'm being nice." Why yes you are. Good job. "WELL, YEAH I want presents." Great.......so......I've taught her what? We discussed that being nice means being nice just because it's the right thing to do. I'm hoping she learned something.......... Oh who am I kidding? I'm just hoping she straightens up so I can get the rest of this holiday crap done.

Naughty: Holiday Crap. I am frankly tired of all the unnecessary stuff and expectations we place on ourselves this time of year. When the hell did I buy in to the idea of the perfect Christmas? I'm realizing that I spend so much time, money and energy on trying to get one that I have drained every ounce of enjoyment and joy out of what used to be my favorite time of year. Guess what? I'm done with that. I'm OKwith store bought gifts. I'm OK with gift cards for grown ups. The miracle of the season has absolutely NOTHING to do with the perfect gift. When it comes down to it the kids will remember the time we spend together. Not how perfect Mommy's homemade cards were. Yeah. right. Cards......Ha ha ha ha ha.....

Nice: I've lost a few pounds, not enough.
Naughty: Stupid cookie, cake, pie, candy infested holiday office
Nice: Amazon. Free Shipping.
Naughty: Less than perfect diet.
Nice: Pretty danged consistent exercise routine.
Naughty: DFW metroplex shuts down completely every time it rains. WTH? Traffic becomes unbareable. These people lose their damned minds when it rains. In Nebraska they get 2 feet of snow and don't miss a beat. It's water people......move on....

Nice: So last weekend. Nanny kept the girls overnight. Son was on a camp out. This left hubby and me an evening alone. We are boring. We are tired. We are.......old I guess. Don't judge me. We opted for take out-steak and sweet potato for me and downloading a movie. Yes, a baby sitter and we stayed in. Listen I can count on one hand probably the number of times we've been alone in the house since we moved in 2 years ago. It was wonderfully pleasant and relaxing. We watched The Debt with Helen Miren. Excellent film, btw. The next morning we went to Ihop where I had an egg white veggie omelet and a whole grain pancake. Yummo. How wonderful to go out for breakfast and enjoy coffee and conversation that didn't include "stop poking your sister" or "don't throw the crayons". After we headed to do our Christmas list and shopping.......BACK HOME. Which was good considering the back thingy that happened shortly after our arrival......see above naughty

So as you can see my life has been crazy, but that's my world. You'd think I would adjust. I've been reading as usual, but not commenting as much. I think you can figure out why since you just read all of that. I found out our kid's school is hosting it's first 1K/5K run end of April. NOW that's a reason to really get busy training to run. That's the plan for my fitness. I've been saying it forever. Time to put up or shut up.

What's your plan for your fitness goals? Don't forget about them in the holiday chaos. Without them, there might not be another holiday. Have a great week my friends.

Another kick A** Weekend and seeing PURPLE!

2011-12-07T15:41:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it is already Wednesday! Where is time going and WHY does it seem to go faster when you haven't finished your Christmas shopping?

I am still having a hard time with my diet. I have not been getting in all my water and not tracking. That being said I'm starting to get on my own nerves with this excuses thing and I've had it. So today I woke up and dragged my sore ass out of bed and drank my water and ate my breakfast and tracked it. I'd planned on hitting the gym but I have a sick kid at home. Instead I'll head home at lunch to check on him.

On the bright side my weekend was great. Tree is up and decorations are almost done. I'm ready for the youngest's bday party this weekend and I'm getting my shopping underway on line. Progress my friends.

But the biggest news of course is that I passed my belt test. I am now officially an advanced belt and over half way to black!! It was not an easy test. Still a bit off balance from the cruise and had some trouble with the turning jump kicks. I ended up falling splat on my butt not once but twice. Embarassing? Maybe. In front of all those parents and grand parents and such. But I ask you....did any of them have the balls to be out there testing and busting their ass? Nope. So screw that. I got back up and kept on kicking.

I broke my board on the first try. It's a big freaking board and we had to do an axe kick (kick up high over the head then straight down breaking the board with your heel) I had to spar twice once with a black belt and the other time was with my son. That was super fun. After I was super sore and tired and bruised. Still am somewhat but my bruises are badges of honor. I'm quite proud of myself.

I did not like the pics of me this test. I feel like I look fat. And I see all 6 of the pounds I've put on, mainly in my belly. It's ok though because I compared the pic from my first test and I still feel like I look better now. What do you think?

Monday despite my tired soreness I trained with my trainer. Ouch. My pecs are still sore but that's ok. It's getting better and again I love being sore for that reason.Today I have tracked, had my water and eaten well and SURPRISE I feel better. Will I ever learn that I feel better when I fuel my body with healthy foods, water and exercise? Duh. It's like I have short term memory loss every time! (I love you, Dori!) I hope all of you are staying on track and making it through the mind field that are the holidays.

Me kicking said son's booty. Just kidding....

Breaking of the board


Getting my purple belt

Kicking during first test

After first test

Friday! Warning. Hectic weekend ahead....

2011-12-02T07:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I woke up today with pain in my back. Slept wrong I think. Not good considering my test tomorrow. I've stretched and it's better. I am nervous for my test, but also really excited. Half way to black belt is a good thing. Of course when I think of how far I need to go to get to black.....sigh. I don't care. I'm determined. I'm doing this thing.

I've struggled this week with eating. The cravings have been bad after my indulgences on the cruise. I haven't felt great, still have had a lot of dizziness. Today is the first day that I woke up and felt "normal" minus the back thingy. I'm glad it is Friday. I have a lot to do. I've still got to get the house decorated. Lists made. Shopping started. Sigh.....Christmas is hard work. I used to love this time of year. It was my favorite. That's why we got married at Christmastime so we could have lovely Christmas decorations. But, these days I feel like it is such a hectic time. It's a lot harder to enjoy. I'm going to try and enjoy it anyway for my kids. Or at least keep my stress to a minimum. As much as I can. Internet shopping helps that a lot.

I've had trouble getting back into my routine, but I feel like I can do that today. I've got to get back to tracking and drinking my water. Yesterday I did 2 TKD classes. And I feel like I'm ready for my test. My weight is still up from the cruise, but on it's way back down. Some of it is water retention I think. Anyhoo, I'll be posting about my test on Monday. I hope you all have a good weekend. That's all for me for now. Short post. I have to get some work done. Big computer conversion today. Have a great weekend!

Land....Ho!

2011-11-29T10:45:00.000-08:00

I'm back. I had the best time on the cruise. It was fabulous. I honestly cannot remember a better Thanksgiving. Oh sure, I like the cooking and family bonding and eating. I like the traditional dinner and all the fixings. But, spending time on a boat with no where to go but be with each other was wonderful.

Of course, I did gain some weight, but not too bad. I was very active and made mostly good choices. I drank too much alcohol and I ate more than I should have. I am still retaining water and I wonder if it wasn't from the medication I took for the motion sickness. I'm still adjusting to being back on land. I'm really sensitive to motion. I get car sick really easy. On the ship I did great except for the first day when I was adjusting,but I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't get sick once.

There were moments that were bitter sweet. The first night at dinner as I sat looking around the table and my cousin wasn't there. Thanksgiving dinner after the blessing and as we toasted to him. I shed a few tears, but very few. It was actually very nice and a bit of closure for us all. Life goes on. Although we miss him, we have to move on. Not forget, but move forward.

I've got tons of pictures and I'll share a few here.

The boat

Sailing away.


Stupid kids

Enjoying sunrise with my son. On the way to the gym.

Lounging on the deck after dinner

Ruins in Progresso, Mexico

Yes, I did climb all those steps. Twice.

View from the glass elevators that enchanted my girls.

Said elevators

Oh yes. I did watch Thanksgiving day football on the big screen!


At port, Cozumel

My view for Thanksgiving Day

Not a bad pic for a 5 year old. Dress I bought in Cozumel, one size DID finally fit all.

Adjusting to being home has been harder than on most trips. Mainly due to dizziness. I'm tired, but overall I'm doing well. It sure was nice to sign up for excursions without worrying whether I could do them. Times sure have changed. no way I could have done those steps 2 years ago.

I'm determined to get back to working out. I have a belt test this Saturday. I'm kind of freaking out about it. No I haven't shopped. No the tree isn't up. No I'm not ready for the holidays. BUT, I'm happy. And I have some really wonderful memories.

It's not the turkey.

2011-11-18T07:14:00.000-08:00

Thanks everybody for your thoughts on my last post. Sometimes just letting those feelings out is all you need to feel better. Right after I published that post I felt so much better. I woke up the next day and actually felt like facing my day and was in a good mood. I feel much, much better. Not perfect, but better.

It helped that this week I've gone to TKD class. I just feel better when I move. Wednesday we had a special self-defense class for women only. It was a lot of fun because we're practiced some "real world" scenarios. Outside, in the dark carrying groceries or purse. Attacker with a weapon, that kind of thing. Good info to have to apply what I'm learning in the traditional classes.

Tuesday night I went to a medical staff meeting (boring). We had the best filet (yummy), steamed green beans (tasty) and mashed potatoes with bacon (ok, I had one bite). There was also a salad with a light citrus vinaigrette and it was yummy as well.

Monday I took my car in and had to get 2 new tires. Yesterday, I had to get it aligned, oil changed, inspection and the timing belt replaced. $1000 later........sigh.....

My husband left yesterday for Michigan. Somehow it seems unfair, but he's going to the Michigan v Nebraska game with some buddies. I'll be picking him up in Houston this weekend on our way to Galveston to catch the cruise ship. Last night I was home with just me and the kids. Is it bad that I enjoy it when my husband is gone sometimes and I get to have quiet alone time after the kids are in bed?

Yesterday I attended my youngest's Thanksgiving program and dinner. Well....I wouldn't call it dinner. Lunch is at 10:15 am. Turkey and dressing at 10:15? Whatever. Then of course I stayed for my 2nd graders lunch at 11am. Of course I didn't eat again. I took off for the morning for this. They were very excited. The kindergarten program included the kids dressing as Indians and pilgrims and singing songs. We made her costume out of felt that she colored on with fabric crayons and markers. It's not perfect, but so cute since she and I made it ourselves. They were all so cute singing their songs and dancing. (sniff sniff)

Tonight my Aunt and cousins arrive from Oklahoma. I still have a lot to do to get ready for our trip. I haven't packed yet. Luckily I'm pretty quick at packing since we do it so much. I have to get to the bank. I have to pick up prescriptions. Getting ready for vacation is hard work, but it's all worth it.

I'm attending TKD again tonight. I've been 4 days this week. Trying to get ready for my test since I'll miss a couple of classes next week. Last night we were "pre-testing". I'm happy to say I know all the material. I got thrown last night, landed on my side and now my hip is bruised. ouchy. I don't mind. It will be fine. Not the first time I've gotten hurt. My right foot is still bruised from the kid that landed on top of it on his knee last week. That's the price of being a martial artist. I'm willing to pay it. Tomorrow we plan an hour of practice. So I'll have exercised 6 out of 7 days this week.

Haven't been eating great, but not terrible. I'm not sure what the scale is doing. I decided to stop weighing for a bit. I do know I wore some black pants, size 12 from last fall and they fit way better than last year. I'm going to be working out on the cruise. I hope to have time to go get some new running shoes. I really need them. I love the idea of jogging around a track at the top of a giant cruise ship. Definitely gonna give that a try.

I probably will not be able to post next week, but I'll definitely check in when I get back and let you know all about it. Tuesday my baby boy turns 14. FOURTEEN. Can. Not. Believe it. Found out he's been texting a girl from school late at night. We had a discussion about that. Sigh.......here it comes. My baby girl turns 6 on the 30th. Boy am I getting old. Good news is older AND better.

Again thank you all for your support. Spend sometime reflecting this week on the good things in your life. Tell the people you love how much they mean to you. You never know when they might be gone. Don't wait to say it. You might not get another chance. Appreciate your friends. Appreciate all the things that really matter in life. It's not the turkey. It's not the pumpkin pie. None of that matters. What matters are the people you love and that love you. The people who make your life better, rich and full. Never, ever forget that.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Emotions.....eating me up.

2011-11-15T10:05:00.000-08:00

Depressed. Frustrated. Stressed. Overworked. Over scheduled. Discouraged. Worried. Nervous. Anxious. Angry. Guilty. Sad. Mad. Tired.

That about sums it up. I have so much going on in my life right now I'm completely overwhelmed and just plain worn out. There is no quiet time for me right now except the gym or maybe during TKD class. There are so many emotions swirling through me right now. I'm finding it really hard to focus on my diet. Not focusing is bad. Clearly. I've made a few bad choices lately. Not a lot. But enough that I'm mad at myself. Again.

I haven't gained weight, in fact I lost a pound when I weighed in on Friday. I haven't weighed since the weekend when the bad choices took place. I'm trying to get my mind straight and focused before the cruise. I know. A lot of you are probably thinking, what is she complaining about? She's got this vacation coming in just a few days.

The cruise is very emotional for me. My cousin,who died in March and was like my brother, and I had always talked about going on a cruise "someday". Of course that day never came and never will since he died so young. Now, our whole family is going for Thanksgiving. It is sort of a tribute to him. Don't wait. Love your family now. Don't put things off. That sort of thing. We're going with my Aunt and her other son, his wife and daughter. My Mom, God mother and my husband and kids of course. I am looking forward to the cruise. Some time to just rest and relax, but he will be on my mind. This first holiday season without him will be very very hard.

There are a lot of things about his death I am still struggling with. I know some of you are probably sick of this subject. But, it's my blog and if I don't get to write about my feelings, I won't be able to handle my eating. I have a lot of guilt associated with his death. For reasons I cannot discuss here. Intellectually I know it is misplaced. But, emotionally I'm trying to handle it. I miss him. And even now there are moments that I forget he's gone. Like the other day when I was starting to make a Christmas list and wrote his name there before I realized I won't need a gift for him this year.

I've dealt with death before. I've lost people I loved. But this one was different. For many reasons. For one thing he was a year younger than me. He was my friend and "brother". He had a lot of health and emotional problems that I tried to help him with. I felt responsible for him. I wanted more for him. I feel like maybe I could have done more. I'm a doctor for goodness sakes. Of course, I did everything I could and his death was not my fault. But, those feelings are there. And they weigh heavily on me.

And then I'm worrying about my god-mother who is battling breast cancer. Luckily a cancer found when it was small, but unfortunately a very aggressive type. Her chemo treatment started. She's doing well considering. She's started losing her hair. And she's feeling pretty bad from the drugs.

On top of those very heavy topics, I am in the midst of a big computer conversion at work. It has to go well or after January our claims won't be paid and that would be BAD. So that is very stressful. Plus, I had to fire an employee and another one quit recently so we're short handed. People in the office are stressed because of all that mess. Plus the current political climate and uncertainty about Medicare and health reform are weighing on me.

Plus it's the holiday season. I have 2 kids who have birthdays and Christmas, neither of which am I in ANY mood to deal with. That produces a significant amount of Mommy guilt which just makes me feel worse. My anniversary is in a month. 16 years and 21 together. I should be happy, but right now it feels like just one more thing I have to deal with. Add to that stuff: TKD test coming up. School plays and parties. Yearbook orders and pictures. Boy scout activities. Blah, blah, blah.

So my mom asked me the other day if I was depressed. Apparently my Nanny has mentioned that she is worried about me. Now people are starting to notice and that's worrisome. Depressed? Probably. And that worries me since we're just now entering the time of year when my seasonal depression kicks in. I'm doing all the right things. Trying to sleep, exercise, talk and write about my feelings. I'll be OK. I've been here before. But, I'm worried I'll lose control and gain weight and that would just put me over the edge.

Yesterday I worked out with my trainer. Boy I dreaded going, but after 15 min on the elliptical my body felt good. It was a very difficult workout and I enjoyed it. It's nice to just focus on your body and I felt less stressed afterward. I've been hungry this week. Really hungry. I don't know if it is the stress or maybe the carbs I ate over the weekend, but either way, I'm having trouble keeping my eating in control. I'm tracking, even the stuff I wish I hadn't eaten, including pumpkin bread and a brownie. There I said it. My calories were not overly bad, not more than 1300. For now I'm staying the course. I suppose I'm learning as I go.

I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep going and I'm not going to give up on my goals. What do you do when you are hungry and having trouble controlling it? Or maybe that never happens to you. Some of it is emotional, but some of it is actual hunger. Like stomach growling hunger. Are you an emotional eater? I definitely am. Especially sweets and soda. Will this ever get easier? I guess that is some of my frustration. After losing 85 pounds and 18months I am still struggling with this issue.

And now, I'm going to get back to work. Getting behind won't do anything to help my stress.

Just so Sick

2011-11-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Those of you that have been around my blog know I love sports. Love em. Especially College football. The events this week have just hit me hard and I am so upset by the scandal now going on at Penn State. So today's post is not really about my weight or diet, but about something far more important.   I just had to get these thoughts out.

For those who do not know, a former coach has been accused of child sexual abuse. There is a grand jury indictment against him. At least 8 boys so far and there are apparently many many more coming forward. The really upsetting part is that an assistant coach witnessed it, reported it to the head coach, Joe Paterno, who in turn reported it to his supervisor, but no one called the police or child services. That assistant wasn't even the only witness. There were others and still no one call the police.

On top of that, the guy accused was still at the school up until last week. He had an office there, worked out there with football players and was frequently on the side lines.   He ran a youth charity that was supposedly helping disadvantaged boys. And even they knew of accusations and an investigation as early as 1998, but he still was involved with the kids.

As a parent I am horrified, but sadly not surprised. This should remind all of us that PEOPLE THEY KNOW are the people our children are most at risk from. We teach our kids about strangers, but sometimes we forget that it is almost ALWAYS a trusted person that preys on children around us. We all need to learn something from this mess. Of course you'd think the same sort of scandal in the Catholic church would have taught us already.

First we need to spend real time talking to our children about how to be safe and how to protect their bodies. We need to make sure that our kids understand that even if it is someone that they know and trust, even someone in their family, if they are touched in any way that makes them uncomfortable, they need to tell someone. The really sad part of this Penn State mess is that the first boy told and nothing happened.

Second, we as a society need to wake up. Children are hurt and abused every day. It is a sad fact and we all need to do everything we can to protect them. No matter how respected. No matter how successful. No matter how upstanding a person may appear to be, we have to take ANY accusation of abuse very very seriously. It must be reported to authorities. The child comes first, not the reputation of the person accused. Not the institution they happen to work for or be associated with. Anyone that was involved in this coverup, knew of the abuse and did not get it stopped must be fired and no longer in charge of kids.

Even Joe Paterno needs to be gone. He knew. He knew and didn't get it stopped. I mean come on, one time you might fool yourself into believing your buddy couldn't do that, but more than one? AND you have a first hand witness that says he saw that bastard in the shower with a child and you didn't make damn sure he never touched another boy? I don't care how long you've coached, how many games you've won, how much good you've done in the past, this is inexcusable.

My son walked into the room this morning while I had on ESPN. He heard a little of the reports. I turned the TV off and we talked about this. We talked about being safe. Not being afraid to speak up when you see something really wrong. How to protect himself, even from people he knows. I encourage you to do that with all of your kids, at an age appropriate level. Don't fool yourself into believing that sort of thing doesn't happen to nice families in nice neighborhoods like mine. Don't fool yourself into believing you can recognize a pedophile by looking at them. You can't. Protect your kids.

I pray that some good comes from this by raising awareness. I pray that those poor boys will have some comfort knowing that the bastard is going away forever and will never, ever touch another boy.   I pray that God has a special place in hell for child predators.

HOLY Crap! Earthquake!

2011-11-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

What an eventful weekend I had! It started out like any other football weekend with me driving to Oklahoma to see the Sooners play football. I was very excited because I was able to attend this game with my BFF and spend some girl time with her.

The drive up was uneventful. Thank goodness for DVD players. I had the girls with me as Daddy was home with brother at his band contest. I arrived in Norman, dropped off the girls and went to pick up my BFF. Before the game we needed some lunch. We ended up at a deli near campus and I had the best soup and salad. It was so tasty. The weather was nice, a bit windy, but nice. It was a really fun day and it was that much better because I maintained control and ate on plan. On top of that we did our usual 2 mile walk there and back, so plenty of activity that day. Of course it helped that we won the game.

Saturday night we hung out at my Aunt's house watching football and visiting. It was a good time. We had chicken wings for dinner, not the best, but I was able to resist the worst of the food. I enjoyed the football, as there were several big games that night.

Just before my BFF and her kids were ready to leave, the house started to tremble, then shake and then sway from side to side. Earthquake! That is something I never thought I'd feel and I hope to never feel again. It was so bizarre and scared the holy shit out of me. Luckily no one was hurt and there was no significant damage. We found out that it was a 5.6, the largest earthquake in Oklahoma history. Creepy. I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep after that to say the least.

Sunday morning I woke up with an asthma attack. This is getting really old. Today I'm still congested and coughing and now likely have developed a sinus infection. I had just finished my steroid taper and my ENT will likely want to start another. Sigh.....It's asthma season. What can I say? That means I'll be skipping TKD today at noon. Just can't breathe well enough today. Hopefully by Thursday.

This afternoon I have a consultation for Lasik. I've thought about it a long time and now with all the working out I do, especilaly TKD, the glasses get in the way so much. I want to find out if I'm a good candidate or not. If not, I'll have to think about contacts or something at least for TKD. I don't wear contacts every day because of my allergies, my eyes get too itchy.

My weight is up 2 pounds from Saturday. I think it is water and fluctuations from coming off the steroids. Plus I had too much sodium over the weekend. I do not think it's "real" and I hope to see it back off which would be a 2 pound loss when I weigh in tomorrow.

I have 10 days until vacation. I'll be going on my first cruise. I'm excited and nervous about it. We decided to go on a cruise for the holidays. We know it will be a hard time as it is the first year without my cousin. We spent most holidays together. It will be fun traveling with my Aunt, Cousin, his wife, their daughter, my mom and my god-mother. My god mother has started her chemo, she'll just complete her first cycle when we leave. So far she's doing well. It will be a time to just relax and enjoy family. I'm nervous about the food, but I know I can make good choices and I'm looking forward to working out on the ship with my son. He wants to work out with me and go running on the track around the ship, which I think is most awesome.

I'm wondering if any of you have been on a cruise before. Any tips or suggestions in general? Any ideas on how to handle the food. Everyone always says "oh the FOOD!" when they talk about cruises. Hope you all have a great week. Stay on track!

Here come the weekend....Scale question.......Exercise goals

2011-11-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

Friday is here. Good news/bad news situation. Love that the weekend has arrived, but there is so much to do. Sigh. This weekend my son has a band contest. Plus I'm headed to Norman for the OU vs A&M game. Should be a good one and that's always a good crowd. Add to that the fact that it's likely the last time we'll play them as they head for the SEC. (If you don't follow college football, Texas A&M won't be in our conference anymore)

I am planning to head up to Oklahoma tomorrow. My husband is staying here with my son and I'm going to the game with my BFF. Really looking forward to it as I haven't spent much time with her since our trip in August. She's been busy with school as she teaches high school Biology and Forensics.   Her daughter turned 16 last week and I am still in shock. I must deliver the gift, ie cash. What else would you give a teen?

Looking ahead at my schedule for the next month, I have meetings and classes nearly every day. All leading up to our big computer conversion at work. We're not changing software, but we are upgrading our versions and we have to learn how to use the new stuff. Looking forward to it as I'm hoping to start using my ipad and that means lighter tablet to haul through the office.

On top of the work chaos with the computers it is of course flu season and people are really getting sick. Good for business, but bad. Lots of stress with the current politcal climate and uncertainty regarding proposed Medicare cuts and such. (don't get me started)

PLUS, as I mentioned in my last post I'm on my way to my purple belt in taekwondo. For those of you who don't know purple is just 3 belts from black. I have right at a month until that test. Luckily I've been working hard and I know most of the material, now it's just a matter of getting good at it. I have to work on my jump 360 round house kick. That's a turning kick in the air. Holy crap it's hard for my old body. It's so annoying how the little kids can just spring off the mat like jumping beans and I have to work to do it. BUT, I am learning how and that amazes me.

Yesterday I once again attended 2 classes one a noon and one after work. The evening class is the same as my daughters' class so it's fun to be in class with them. After our class, my son has class so the girls and I spent some extra time working on forms while we waited on him. That means I worked out yesterday for 2.5 hours. I have class again tonight and I can't wait. So far I've kept up with my exercise every day this month goal and in the last 4 days I'll accomplish nearly 7 hours of exercise. Cool.

Today I'm wearing size 16 jeans from last year that were snug. They are form Kohl's in the "normal" section and I remember being so excited to be able to fit into them. Today they are loose which made me smile. I haven't measured in a while as I've been irritated with my up and down weight, but I plan to measure at the end of this month. I've also updated the weights on my blog and I'll be posting them again. Accountability is one of the purposes of this blog after all. I haven't done it in a while because I just didn't want to show my lack of progress, but it is what it is. I'm headed back in the right direction. That is what matters.

I have been using my fitbit ultra the last few days and I remember why I loved it. I also love the new App for my iphone, so much better than before. I think it will help me track my exercise. I have decided to use it as I think the LoseIt app may overestimate my calories burned.   Of course I still will not eat back those calories. I'm keeping my calories at around 1300 on my most active days, 1200 and under. Fitbit says I got a calorie adjustment of around 1200 for yesterday. It adjusts for calories you burn in excess of your basal metabolic rate or the amount you burn just on a regular day, no exercise. No way I could eat an extra 1200 and lose weight!

I've got to get some new running shoes and a few more socks. I want to get back to running again on my off TKD days. I'm going to try to do that today at lunch. Also lately I've been thinking of getting a Withings scale. Does anyone have one? It is a wireless scale that will automatically track your weight and it has a interface with LoseIt. It looks pretty cool. Plus I saw there is a new scale that is for your iphone/ipad connected wirelessly to record weights. I find this interesting. It certainly would prevent my habit of not recording weights I don't like.   Anyway, if you have one of these nifty newfangled fancy scales, let me know what you think of them.

And now I've GOT to get back to work. I'm trying to keep up with blogging and reading and commenting. I love hearing what all of you are up to. If I'm not following your blog, please leave a comment with a link! What are your plans for the weekend? How much exercise have you done so far this week? Have any new exercise goals?

Let's get Started.

2011-11-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

Can't believe it's already Wednesday night. My life is so hectic and busy these days! Halloween was relatively painless and I made it through with out much of a problem. The house is still filled with candy and so far I've resisted temptation. The kids had a great time trick-or-treating. Of course what's not ot love about running around the neighborhood in the dark and getting free candy.

Tuesday was difficult to get the kids around, but eventually I was able to get them off to school. I attended TKD class twice on Tuesday. Great day for diet and fitness. I have about a month until my purple belt test. Lots to do and get ready for. We'll be gone the whole week of Thanksgiving and that means I have to get as many classes in as I can. It feels really good to be able to exercise that much. Two hours in one day! Not something I could've done in any sense of my imagination a year ago.

Today, I had a session with my trainer. We did a lot of work for my core today. Reverse crunches, lunges, squats, etc. The worst was one leg weighted squats. That is freaking hard! My legs and but are sore and burning tonight and tomorrow will probably suck. But that's what ibuprofen is for, right? Tomorrow I plan on 2 more TKD classes.

I just can't emphasize enough how important it is to find an exercise you enjoy and love. Something that challenges you. Something that you look forward to doing. I never thought I'd have that. I never understood "runner's high" even though I knew all about the physiology. Now I've experienced it myself. I was telling a patient that exercise was never my thing, but after doing it regularly for a while, I look forward to it. I get upset when I can't workout. She looked at me with the same expression that I used to get when people told me I needed to exercise. The glazed over, "here we go again" one. Oh how I wish I had listened before now.

I have decreased the amount of carbs in my diet significantly. I have been reading the book Wheat Belly and I find the ideas there interesting. I certainly know that the more of these foods I eat, the more I want. It cannot be a mistake to limit them. I have been eating only carbs from fruit and even then, I am sticking to few and lower glycemic index fruits. Luckily it's apple season. And pears. Yummy. Nanny baked some apples with just cinammon and a little splenda last night. It was so tasty. Like apple pie and I didn't miss the crust at all.

Tonight she make pizza for the kids. Of course my instinct was to dive in head first. But, I didn't eat any. instead I warmed up chicken breast from the night before, steamed veggies and water. I was full and happy. Still am. Evening is a problem for me. It's my snacky time so I have to be on guard. I have been tracking my food. I still track my exercise, but I don't eat back any calories. I am starting to see the scale move down again and it is a welcome sight.

That is an accomplishment considering I'm still on steroids and I had gained a few pounds from that. Staying away from carbs has been a struggle while on this med. It sure messes with you, but the more I avoid them, the easier it gets. It seems like I keep learning. As time goes on and things happen, I have to make adjustments, role with the punches. That's life after all and this is a lifelong journey.

I bought the new fitbit ultra. I couldn't stand it anymore after my old one got washed twice it died. I've missed it ever since. The new version is purple and black and has some new features that I haven't figured out yet. I will start using it tonight.

My goal is to exercise every day this month. Whether it is true workouts or a walk with the kids, I really want to see if I can do this. We did this in June as part of a challenge. I've found that when I work out or exercise, I'm much more likely to eat right.

I hope all of you are staying on track. We have to steel ourselves against the oncoming onslaught that we call the holidays. This is a very dangerous time of year for healthy living. Been on guard. Give some serious thought how you're going to navigate yourself through. Planning ahead will save some serious damage. Have you thought about how you'll handle the holiday season? If not, get started.

Seriously?

2011-10-27T15:05:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while......well....maybe more frequently than that..........I come across something that makes me stop and think, "SERIOUSLY?" It is a moment that just doesn't make sense to me or one that makes me really stop and think. I've been jotting these down lately to share here with you. Here we go:

A few weeks ago my husband came home with what he thought would be a nutritious drink for him and the kids. Bless his heart. He hasn't really gotten in the habit of reading labels. Here's the first thing I looked at.

And that made me think of THIS

Seriously? The first label is from V 8 Fusion strawberry banana. 170 cal. 42g of carbs, 38g sugars. The second picture is from Coke. 140 cal, 39g of carbs, 39 grams of sugar. Now I will admit that at least the V8 has vitamins and is from "fruit". But, drinking your calories is bad. Ask Jack who posted on it just today. Packaging drinks this filled with sugar as a health drink is silly and deceptive. The lesson here? Read your labels. SERIOUSLY.

Why do we need candles, room spray and soaps that smell like food? I mean every time I wash my hands at the office I get a whiff of "warm vanilla" or "homemade cookie" or "apple pie". It's stupid to me as it makes me remember the taste and flavor of those things all day long. I mean, do I really need to smell some wonderful dessert like caramel apple all day? Seriously? What happened to a nice lavender or gardenia? Is our country that obsessed with food? Seriously?
There are times in my job where I have to bite my tongue, smile, shake my head and try to not over react. Recently this has happened several times. Mostly on the subject of medications. There are times when we need to use medications. It is true everything comes with risks and benefits. Doctors should not over prescribe and I certainly don't want to use a medication unless it is really needed. I just don't get a person who smokes a 1/2 pack a day and refuses to take a cholesterol lowering drug or a medication to reduce blood sugar because they don't want "chemicals" in their body. Or how about refusing to take medications for hypertension, but asking for an antibiotic with every little sniffle. Seriously?
Today I was driving to work behind a mini-van with 2 car seats in the back. The TV was on some cartoon. Seriously? As if your kids don't get enough screen time at home. And before you jump on me, I too have a TV in my van. It is reserved for long trips. There is no reason why my children cannot sit and look out a window, read a road sign or two, or perhaps TALK to me for short trips. In fact I love the time I spend with the kids in the car on the way to school or after activities. Turn the thing off. Get to know your kids. Sing a song with them. Your kids spend enough time in front of one kind of screen or another. Seriously.
Yesterday I read this. It is an article about a new study published in the New England Journal of Medicine that shows that there is a biological and hormonal change that takes place when we lose weight. Seriously? It is a very small study and had no control group, but the findings were still interesting to me. A few years ago, Leptin, a hormone produced by fat cells, was discovered. It helps to regulate appetites and the feeling of being full and satisfied when we eat. We thought we'd found the "cure" for obesity. Didn't turn out that way, at least not yet. But this recent study shows that patients on a very low calorie diet who lose weight do have a change in their hormone balance that could influence their ability to maintain weight loss. This could be a key in understanding why people have such a hard time maintaining their weight loss and may explain why it is so easy to re-gain. The more we understand the biochemistry of obesity, the more likely we can fight it. For now, there is no pill for weight loss or to help you keep your weight off. It's just EAT RIGHT, MOVE MORE. The end. Don't wait for a miracle cure. Seriously.
So last night at dinner we were having a conversation about the World Series and how we want the Rangers to win when my daughter said something that stopped me in my tracks. "But, no matter who wins, it's just a game, right Mom? I mean it's not really that important." Seriously? I struggled to explain in a way that would make sense to a 7 year old. Of course in the grand scheme of things like life or death, baseball is not that important. But, I don't want my kids to grow up thinking everyone gets a trophy. The world is hard and competitive. These athletes have worked their whole life for this moment. They set a goal, worked hard and they are close to achieving it. Being successful is not the MOST important thing in life but it is important. I think it is awesome that my kid sees the really valuable things in life. She understood immediately that there are more important things than a game. That makes me proud. Seriously.

What about you? Ever have a moment where you thought, "Seriously?" Care to share it?

Changes

2011-10-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

Here we are and it is already Wednesday! This week has been so hectic that I can't believe it. We've had computer problems at the office which is a nightmare, especially on the cusp of flu season. Monday we had parent-teacher conferences and with 3 kids I spent a lot of time running from the office to their schools. I don't know how parents that have jobs that aren't flexible do it or with more than 3 kids! You'd have to take the whole day off.

I'm still struggling with my breathing. I am having a terrible time with my allergies and that has pretty much precluded me from being outside much. We certainly cannot sleep with the windows open, even with this nice fall weather. Overall I feel better. I have to admit that I am still in somewhat of a funk, but I am battling it.

I made it through my whirlwind weekend with good effort on my diet. I weighed in on Monday and I hadn't gained any weight. Today I'm down a pound. I feel like I'm back on track. I realized yesterday that I still have a lot of work to do with being consistent. I know, no news flash there. But, I found myself really amused with myself. Always in the past when I'd start a diet I'd be all about the food. I would count points or calories or whatever perfectly, but I couldn't get it together with the exercise. I hated to workout then. NOW. Totally opposite. Now I focus on working out. I love the exercise. I have not blown the eating, no way. But, my focus is so much less on the food.

This realization for me is both good and bad. The good news is that I don't sit around thinking about food. Obsessing about what I can eat. Eating all day trying to satisfy SOMETHING inside myself. I still enjoy food. I still eat more than I should at times. But it is different now. It doesn't last nearly as long when I veer from the correct path. I don't spend days or weeks binging on fast food, buying sweets or drinking sodas. Now it's ONE soda, ONE bad meal and generally I'm back on track. That's great! And such a new thing for me.

On the other hand, I cannot lose my focus on healthy eating either. I've got to find the "sweet spot" where I can balance the two. I think I give myself too much wiggle room on my eating when I work out. I've got to focus on keeping my calories where they need to be so I can keep losing. I have to continue to be consistent for longer periods of time so I can stop this jagged weight graph I've got going here. Up, down, down, Up Up down down. Three steps forward and two steps back takes MUCH longer to get where you're trying to go.

I've been really trying to pay attention to how I feel after I eat, both physically and emotionally. It isn't news to me that when I eat carbs, I'm hungrier. But, lately I've noticed that I'm so emotionally sensitive to carbs. I feel great for a short time and then I crash into "moody me". I've started reading the book Wheat Belly. I don't know yet how far I'll go with eliminating grains, although I've pretty much done that albeit not consistently. It's an interesting theory anyway.

One thing that I have trouble with is snacks for low carb. Other than nuts, which I love but can be higher calorie, what do you eat for snacks on low/no carb diets? Meals are no problem, but snacks are harder. I eat fruit for snack often which is fine. I try to stick to lower glycemic index fruits. But, I'm wondering what low cal, low carb snacks you all eat.

I hope you all are focused as we speed into the holidays. I realized this morning that my husband bought several bags of candy last week. I haven't even looked to see how many or what kind. A couple of years ago I would be going to buy more candy this week after having eaten the first batch. Times change. People change. I'M CHANGING. All for the better is my goal.

Whirlwind Weekend

2011-10-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

I am better finally and my breathing has improved. I went to TKD class last night and I made it through although it was hard. I felt better over all last night. Thanks for all the well wishes and comments from my last post. I appreciate it.

I weighed today and suffice it to say that my weight is up. Thank you, Jan, for reminding me that tracking my food really isn't that taxing and I realized I was using my sickness as an excuse. Truth be known I didn't want to write down what I was eating because some of it was stuff I shouldn't have whether I was sick or not. I'm happy to report I'm back on track since yesterday with tracking, my water and exercise.

I got some really hard news yesterday. It seems my godmother will need chemo after all for her breast cancer. She had negative lymph nodes, thank goodness, but some of the DNA testing came back showing high risk for recurrence without chemo. She was really bummed about it and I can't say as I blame her. It's hard being a doctor and not being able to "fix" someone you love. The good news is that with treatment her prognosis is excellent.

We have a very busy weekend ahead. Tomorrow we'll be dropping my son off at his school early so he can travel to Six Flags with his band. Then we'll drive to Oklahoma for the football game. We have a birthday party for my cousin's daughter in the afternoon. The OU game is that night. Then we'll get up super early and head back home so we can drop off the kids with Nana and the hubbie and I will be going to the Cowboys game. It will be very tiring with a lot of perilous food situations. I'm a little concerned considering my current emotional state, but I am confident I can handle it well. I'm determined because I am not going to weigh on Monday and be up anymore weight. That's not acceptable.

I was really looking forward to this game becuase we're playing the Rams and I wanted to see former Sooner Sam Bradford play. But it looks like he is injured and it's unlikely he'll play. The other down side is that the Rangers game on Saturday night is the same time as the OU game. Thank goodness for my ESPN app on my iphone. (assuming I can get some bandwidth going with the other 84,000 fans in the stadium) PLUS there is a Ranger game on Sunday evening and the football and baseball stadiums are less than a mile apart. Parking is going to be WILD and expensive and traffic a mess, BUT....it's football my dears and I will endure most anything willingly to see my favorite sport.

I wish I could afford and could get World Series tickets, but that's not going to happen. A patient told me this week that they ended up throwing away some tickets for the ALCS because they could find anyone to buy them. AHHH! I told the patient that if that ever happened again to call me because I might buy them. What a waste. I guess tickets were easier to get this year than last otherwise I might have tried to get some myself. Last year they were ridiculous.

I am planning a TKD class after work tonight. There will be tons of walking (usually about 3 miles) for the football game on Saturday and at least a significant amount for the one Sunday. Now if I can control my eating I'll be really back on track.

Have a good weekend. What are your favorite sports? Have you ever been to a college football game? What about a NFL game? I've never been to a MLB game although I've been to many college games when I lived in Omaha for the College World Series. Take care all!

Sick and Tired

2011-10-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

You haven't heard from me this week. I'm sorry. It's been a really bad weekend and last few days. My son and husband were sick last week with a virus and I ended up with it. I was in bed all weekend. I don't know why I've been so unlucky lately with the illnesses. I'm taking my vitamins and sleeping and eating healthy. Sigh.

Anyway, with my asthma and my subglottic stenosis (scar tissue narrowing in my upper airway) when I get a cold or virus it hits hard and takes longer for me to recover. Any little swelling in my airway and I'm wheezy and have trouble breathing. That makes me tired since I'm working harder to breathe and the end result is I feel like crap. I even canceled patients Monday afternoon I was just so tired and exhausted and weak. Sigh. This is not something I do often or easily, but there are days I just can't make it. Before I had my surgery on my throat the first time I was canceling often because I couldn't speak complete sentences without getting winded. Luckily I'm no where near that bad. I know I'll need surgery again sometime in the next few months, but my ENT and I are trying to wait a bit longer. It's been 2 years since the last surgery. I'm hoping I can put it off a bit longer for a variety of reasons, not least of which is I want to wait until it's bad enough to really warrant the surgery.

So that's where I've been. Sick again. I'm so bad when I'm sick. No energy to track my food or really eat right and of course no exercise. Today is the first day I feel close to normal and I'm not there yet. I haven't worked out since Friday. Until today I could've cared less. I was that tired. Today I'm starting to feel the itch to work out, especially TKD. I'll see how I feel tomorrow and think about getting back to class. I just feel better when I'm working out. I have not weighed this week. I am not going to either.

Tonight I have a board meeting and I just can't miss it. I really wish I could since I'm still not 100% and also since tonight is the first game in the World Series. But, I have to go and I'd feel way too guilty missing another meeting. I missed last month when I had strep throat. Luckily my 2 girls haven't gotten sick and I'm hoping they won't.

On top of being sick, I've been pretty melancholy. I didn't realize until today why that was. I realized that last week was my Aunt's birthday. Of course that's not why I've been down. But, she is the mother of my cousin that died a few months ago. He always made a huge deal of his mom's birthday. I felt bad for her which got me thinking about him and all the issues surrounding his death and.....well you get the idea. I keep telling myself that grief is a process. I'm sure you are probably sick of seeing me type about this stuff. Frankly I'm tired of dealing with it. I wish grief was like strep throat. You get it. You are miserable. It sucks, but then it's gone. I guess my cousin's death was the first one so personal and close to me. He was my age and we were so close. There are a whole lot more issues surrounding his death which I cannot discuss here. Suffice it to say, the stages of grief are real. Anger, denial, guilt, sadness.......you get the idea.

I'm just glad that I'm starting to feel better. I want to get back on track. I will not give up. Will not.

The Last 10%

2011-10-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

Good Morning, All!

Well, with a husband home sick and my son home sick, I much preferred coming to work this morning. Of course I'm spending my extra time here instead of catching up on work because this is WAY more fun. My favorite way to start my day is to sip my coffee while reading all of your blogs and commenting and writing my own posts. Lately I've been so busy I haven't had time to read all I want AND post as often as I want. Ah well, do your best. That's all I can do.

Anyway, this week has been good so far. I've been carb free since Tuesday and I think it is helping. I always forget how giving up carbs makes me eat more veggies. I eat a ton of fruit, which is good, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I spend more calories on fruit and forget my veggies. Plus eating carbs makes you crave more carbs, even if it is fruit.

Last night Nanny made a salad with orange slices, olive oil, a little salt, rosemary and black olives. She saw the recipe in the Parade magazine from Sunday's paper. Let me tell you I never in a million years would have tried those flavors together, but I'll tell you it was delish. I ate 2 small slices of orange, so technically that's a little carb, but I'm pretty sure it was not eating too many oranges that made me fat.

Yesterday I did two classes for TKD. TWO! I remember a year ago it took everything I had to get through 1 hour of class, now class is over and I'm like a little kid, "AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh! Mannnnn!" I really wish I could just have one day to work out until I feel I'm done. I wonder what I could do? Another thing, JUMPING JACKS. I remember a year ago it was hard to do the 10-12 we do in class. Now they are so easy. It got me wondering how many I could do in a row. Tomorrow it is on my agenda to find out.

I was on my way to work this morning analyzing my progress. That's what I do. I was thinking about how I've done this week and wondering how much weight I'll lose this week. I weigh every day. Today I was the same as yesterday. I was thinking about this week and realized that I've followed my plan really well. That made me proud. But, then I thought about all those days over the last few months where I didn't. The days I could have done better. I could have skipped that extra snack. I could have pushed myself to workout. I could have not given in to temptation. I realized I've come a LONG way. Lately, I am in my healthy eating and exercise 90% of the time.

BUT, what about that 10%?? It's that ten percent that is holding me back. It's that one slip, one day, one bite that is keeping me from my goals. Why am I not giving 100%? Is 90% my best? I don't think so. I know it's not. Yesterday I read a wonderful post by Jack Sh*t. I love all his posts. They usually make me laugh or giggle or roll my eyes. Sometimes reading his stuff you forget what he's achieved just because he's so funny and silly. And then there's a post like yesterday. And I literally got goose bumps. You MUST read it. I did, over and over.

His post is all about having the strength-physical and mental to stay on this path to health. He really touched me with this part about the fact that just STARTING this journey took courage:

Think about it: you get up every morning, get out of bed and face the world head-on. You accept strangers’ stares, children’s cruel comments and friends’ “helpful” advice, all with a wane smile and gentle good grace. You’ve recognized the inner demons that have put you in the state you’re in, and you’re going about doing something about it. You’re getting your life in check, as well as providing emotional support for others who are also getting their lives in check.

And I realized that no matter how many times over the last 18 months I've wanted to quit, I haven't. Not when I had to have my gallbladder out. Not when I tore the muscle in my calf. Not when I was on vacation. Not through the holidays. Not on my birthday. Not when my cousin who was really more a brother to me died. Through all that I have struggled. I have been frustrated. I have been frightened. I have been discouraged. I've seen other bloggers give up. Many of the ones that were around when I started are gone now.

But I am still here.

I am still learning. I am still trying. I am still working toward my goals. Not just the goals for the scale, but all the others. I realized yesterday that I DO have goals. Tangible ones. In the past I have been hesitant to set any goals for my health because I've never achieved any. But, now my success has made me hungry for more. I want my black belt. I want it bad. And I realized yesterday that I can do it. I will do it. I want to run a 5K. Run the whole thing with a respectable time. I want to see my goal weight. I want to feel what it' like to be thin. I want to walk in a store and never worry about finding my size. I want to wear a bathing suit in public and feel that I look GOOD. I want my cholesterol to be normal. I want to never worry about getting diabetes like many in my family. And did I mention I want to get my black belt?

And yesterday I realized reading Jack's post that a little part of me has been scared I couldn't do it. 10% maybe? That little part of me has been holding me back. Afraid I can't do it. Still afraid I'll fail. Or maybe even afraid of succeeding. This is a whole new life for me. I've never been this person. I'm in uncharted and unfamiliar territory. I have counseled many patients on how normal it is to feel that way when your body is changing so drastically and how your mind will adjust. I never thought I'd face that fear of success, but here I am. I am realizing that I need to be stronger. I need to have courage. And as far as I've come, there is more I can do.

I also realized that 90% of the time, this healthy life is easy for me now. It comes naturally. Choosing healthy foods, tracking, drinking my water, exercising nearly daily. All that is not a struggle anymore. It is habit now. So for those of you just starting, keep going. It does get easier. It really is my lifestyle now. I really don't think about those foods that used to occupy my thoughts. I don't crave the fast food, in fact it turns my stomach. This morning I realized that the cheesecake my husband ordered for me from Jason's deli on Saturday is still in the fridge untouched. I opened the fridge, saw it sitting there and my first thought was not, "YES! There's my breakfast" as it would have been. It was, "Eww. I need to throw that out it's old."

But, still there's that 10%.

That has to be my focus now. That last little part of me that is holding me back from my goals. The few times I make poor choices. The few times I don't work out when I should. The few times I just don't feel like I want to face this struggle anymore. I have to conquer that last 10%. Jack said it best in his post:

You’ve got to get stronger because this is a long, uphill climb, and it will take its toll on you, both mentally and physically. You’ve got to get stronger because time is not on your side, and Life will jump up and throw hurdle after hurdle after hurdle in your path. You’ve got to get stronger because me and everyone else that follows your story aren’t going to be satisfied until you reach your goals.

And that is what I plan to do. I plan to get stronger. I plan to face and conquer that 10% because I am not going to let that tiny part of me hold me back from my goals, any of them. You cannot achieve your goals by eating right 90% of the time or exercising 90% of the time or believing 90% of the time. It takes ALL OF YOU. All of your effort. All of your courage. All of your strength. All of your belief.

What about you? Are you all in? Or are you still holding back? What is in your 10%? What are you NOT giving up or not doing that is keeping you from your goals? Let's identify it so we can change it. Let's give 100%. That's what it's going to take.

On the Bright Side........

2011-10-12T07:19:00.000-07:00

I have written many times before about my propensity to negativity. If you don't remember, you can read about it in this post. I'm not sure where it comes from, but I feel like it must be partially biological as both my parents have depression and "issues". I've worked very hard over the last year in trying to change my inner "self-talk" that can be so damaging.

Negative ideas and attitudes are a habit for me. I'm working very hard to try to catch them the minute they start and then turn them into positive thoughts. I'm hoping someday soon I can call myself a genuine "glass half-full" person, but right now it takes effort. Not that I'm an unhappy person. On the contrary, I love me life. I love my family, my friends, my job, my home. I enjoy my life and I spend most of my day happy and smiling. BUT, it's the thought pattern in my head I have to work on. Inside, I'm often plagued with "what ifs" and "if onlys". These thoughts just detract from all the things I'm thankful for.

This morning as I was driving my kid to football practice, there was a whole host of thoughts running through my brain, most of which were negative and grumpy, "I'm tired. My back hurts. I don't want to go to the gym. I wish I could just get a break. I'm too fat. Why do I have to work so hard to lose weight when other people are just thin?" And then I just.......stopped. I caught myself. I gave myself an inner shake of the shoulders and told myself to stop and turn it around. I began to thing of positive things in my life right now. And here is a list of what I came up with.

On the bright side...............

I tried on pair of dress slacks, very cute gray ones I bought on sale a while back, that I wasn't able to come close to buttoning or zipping a couple of months ago. Now I can do both, although it is still a little snug. A few more pounds and they'll look great, just in time for cooler weather.
My new size large lab coat is already getting too loose.
I can kick way over my head now.
I can do those 60 crunches in TKD class without much effort.
My kids are all healthy and doing well in school.
I can wrap one of the small bath towels at the gym all the way around me now. Doesn't take 2 anymore and I'm not in danger of flashing everyone.
I'm lucky that I can afford a membership at a nice gym with helpful people where I feel comfortable working out.
I had a nice dry bed to sleep in last night as it was storming and pouring down rain.
It RAINED!
Only 40 days to my cruise.
My son played all 4 quarters in his football game last night on the d-line. He's one of the shorter and smaller kids on the line and he was the only one to get through the line nearly every play. Almost made a sack!
I'm close to learning all my material for the next TKD test. Now I just have to perfect it before December when I can get my purple belt.
When a lot of people have given up and quit TKD that started with me, I have not. I'm half-way to my black belt.
My husband continues to be supportive of my efforts at weight loss and exercise.

These are a few of the ones that popped in my mind. It's amazing what fills your mind when you push away all the negative things.

This week I've gone back to a no carb way of eating. Every once and a while when my weight loss slows or stalls, I try this and it usually jump starts my weight loss. Yesterday I lost a pound and I'm on my way back to where I was. I'm tired of losing and regaining the same 2-3 pounds that I've been doing lately. That's not getting me where I want to be. I am taking control and I've been going back and reading my old posts to remind myself where I've been and how I got here. I still believe that motivation doesn't just happen. You don't just wake up one day and suddenly you can do it. It takes work and focus.

I wonder how all of you manage your "down times" or your negative self talk. Do you struggle with it as I do? Do you follow a low carb or no carb diet? What do you do when you hit a plateau? How do you keep your motivation going?

And...............Go Rangers! Game 4 tonight!

Lazy, Happy, Weekend.

2011-10-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

What a great weekend I had. The first time in 5 weeks I was home and I did absolutely nothing productive. Other than watch TV, particularly sports, I did nothing. I am not even feeling guilty or ashamed by it at all. It was so awesome to just be home.

Of course on Saturday the big event was the OU-Texas game, or as I like to call it....The Great Longhorn Slaughter of 2011. What a great game my Sooners played! It was amazing and we were very very pleased. My husband and I stayed home to watch. The boy was camping and canoeing with Boy Scouts. I did indulge a bit in a little alcohol which is very rare for me, even during football these days. Then Saturday night, our Rangers won the first game in the play off series. Great weekend for sports.

I didn't spend a lot time watching sports yesterday since the baseball game got canceled and the NFL games were not of great interest to me, but I did tune in off and on. Mainly we spent yesterday watching Tivo. Poor thing is overstuffed. We watched that new show Terra Nova with the kids, it's the one with dinosaurs, and they really enjoyed it. It was so nice to just chill out at home with the kids. It rained a lot yesterday and we needed it. We spent some time with the back door open listening to the sound of the rain.....a sound we haven't heard in a long time. In fact we got SO much rain that my son's troop had to come home Saturday night. They got nearly 7 inches near where they were camping and not all the boys had rain gear for their tents.

Unfortunately, this morning I woke up with a migraine. All this changing barometric pressure is not great for my head. I've taken some medicine, but I continue to struggle with it. I hate these dang migraines. I decided to forgo the gym today and spent the time lying on the couch in my office with the lights out. I knew I had to get through the afternoon here at work. It helped a little but not much. Now I'm just counting down until I can get home to my dark bedroom.

As most of you know it is breast health month. I wrote a post on my other blog about it and you might want to check it out here. I saw a cute post on facebook from my home town hospital's staff which was a video the made for a contest called the Pink Glove Dance. Apparently there is a contest you can enter to help raise money for breast cancer where people wear pink surgical gloves and dance. Kinda funny and I actually know a few people in the video.

There are several cute entries and you can vote for your favorite at www.pinkglovedance.com

Have you or someone you know been affected by breast cancer? Have you ever participated in an event to raise money for breast cancer? I haven't, but I'd like to. I know some people who did the 3 day walk, 60 miles, and I thought that was amazing. Back then it was not something I could even fathom doing, now it doesn't seem so impossible.

That's it for me on this long migraine ridden Monday. Hope you all had a good start to your week!

What a week!!!

2011-10-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

Hard for me to believe I haven't posted all week. Sheesh. I am so very busy this week. It is killing me. I've gotten home late every night this week and it is wearing me absolutely OUT. Today I am TIRED. Just plain tired. I haven't gotten enough sleep and it just occurred to me that maybe that is part of the reason the scale isn't moving this week, so far anyway. Let's see, I'll give you the highlights of my week.

Monday night was my son's football game. That means I didn't get home until nearly 8pm. I did really well with eating that day. I also worked out with my trainer as I discussed in my last post. Let me tell you that after that workout sitting on metal bleachers was KILLER, especially on my back. Tuesday I was super SUPER sore and I didn't get the morning workout I wanted because of it. I did attend TKD class as usual. It was hard as is usually the case, but the 100 crunches were very hard on my already sore abs. That night I had a health fair to attend. Just marketing and community service stuff. Not too hard, but tiring as I was on my feet for 3 hours in heels. Got home at nearly 9pm and then had to get kids to bed, etc.

Wednesday was one of the highlights of my week. I was SOOOOO tired and sore. I didn't sleep well Tuesday night because I was so tired I forgot to take some ibuprofen. PLUS I was up late helping my son with a genealogy project for school. It was very interesting to dig back in my family's past. I plan to do more now. We traced back to an ancestor born in 1660 in Virginia. Cool. But, all that stuff Tuesday night made Wednesday morning a real bear. I had planned to run, but my hips were just shot after the hard workout Monday and then TKD. No freaking way. I woke up in a mood and feeling very discouraged.

At lunch on Wednesday I had my usual hair appointment. I was so tired I nearly fell asleep several times and my stylist ( what is the proper word? Hair dresser? Whatever) told me I'd better wake up before I nod off and cause him to cut a big chunk out of my hair. I tried and made it through without a disaster and went back to work with fabulous straightened hair. I enjoy those days becuase it's the only time my hair is straight. Showering 1-2 times a day after workouts just isn't conducive to trying to straighten my curls.

Anyhoo......somewhere late in the afternoon I finally perked up and I think it was excitement for Wednesday night's self-defense class. Our TKD gym had a free seminar for women only and I invited a bunch of the girls from the office. It was so super fun and I learned some things I didn't know before. A good workout, too!

So yesterday I was still struggling with soreness, especially my hip and SI joint. Despite that I went to my TKD class at noon. It was a great class and I'm learning so much. It's hard. We did free sparring with knife defenses, not with a real knife of course. I still have so much to learn! THEN, after work I had to go back to TKD to pick up the kids. I realized I'd be sitting there for an hour watching them workout. That just seemed silly so I decided that now that we're in the same class, I might as well workout again. I joined their class and worked out for another hour after work.

Last night was a beating though because we didn't get home until nearly 8pm. My son had to complete that big project, or should I say WE had to complete the project. It turned out great, but we were up until midnight finishing it. (My son unfortunately inherited the procrastination gene from his father) I'm tired today, but finally less sore. I'm telling you that workout on Monday kicked my butt. Stupid, stupid stair master. But, I'm not giving up on it. I'm going back to the gym next week to start working on working up my tolerance on that machine. Tonight I have planned a TKD class after work

I have very little on tap for the weekend. It's the first weekend at home for us in like 5 weeks. Son has a camping trip with Boy Scouts. They're going canoeing on the Brazos River. I'm jealous. Wish I could go. Anyway, other than a FANTASTIC sports line up, I have little planned and I'm keeping it that way. Can't wait for the OU-Texas game PLUS we have game one of the ACLS and the Rangers. Should be fun.

I'm frustrated by the fact that the scale hasn't moved. I've been hungry this week. Sometimes it seems like the more I exercise, the hungrier I am. I've kept my eating in line, I've eaten no more than 1300cal which was on my 2 workout day. I've had a little trouble getting all my water in at least at the level I usually do. I'm getting in the minimum, but not a whole lot more. I think it's just the hectic pace this week.

Do you find yourself hungry if you exercise a lot? Or is it just normal variations in hunger from our bodies? I don't know but it sure seems like sometimes I'm starving and others I'm fine. Maybe it's the fact I've gotten less sleep? I don't know, but I'm trying to stay on track and positive. I love my exercise. I'm not quitting it.

I read a really good post today on Tony's blog. You can read it here. It's all about how sometimes as you change in this journey, people's perception of you changes. It's titled "I Liked You Better When You Were Fat." I'm honestly struggling with people's reactions to my new lifestyle lately, especially some people close to me. It's just more of the mental changes that come along with this journey. Here's the comment I left on that post:
I loved this post. I’ve lost 85 pounds and I still have about 60 left. People have already started to tell me I don’t need to lose more and I exercise too much and I’m too strict with my diet. I think a lot of it is them knowing they need to be doing it too.
For those closest to me, I think they are threatened by my success and maybe even worried about my change in priorities. It’s much more important to me now to workout. Much more than watching that TV show or going shopping. Not every gets that. And people rarely get why I would go to TWO Taekwondo classes in ONE DAY, especially not after working out in the morning once already.
I actually had someone tell me I was getting addicted to exercise and I needed to watch it. WTH? I am 41 years old and I am 5’1″ and I still weigh 189lbs. If I’m addicted to exercise it’s the least of my worries.
These days I’m simply focused more on me and being the best ME I can be. I think some people don’t like the fact that my focus has changed. Too freaking bad

AND I have to thank Allan for another shout out on his blog this week. Too kind. You inspire me all the time. Particularly today's post about weekends and exercise. Funny and true.

I hope all of you have a great weekend. What are you doing these days for exercise? What is inspiring you? Do people ever tell you they liked you better when you were fat?

Is it a Challenge or a Road Block? You decide.

2011-10-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I haven't posted since Tuesday. Where does the time go? I'm just so busy and NOW it is October. Shit.......I hate October.....well, I actually love it. I love fall and I love Halloween, but October signifies the beginning of the end of the year and all hell breaks loose this time of year, for me anyway.

The weekend was fabulous, but busy. I spent it seeing my little one get her green belt in TKD which is quite an achievement for a little lady of not even 6 yet! She broke her board on the first try and was most proud. I have to say I was pretty darn proud of her myself.

Immediately after the TKD test the kids and I jumped in the car and drove to Oklahoma. I took my son to the football game this weekend. It was OU v Ball State and Dad needed to stay home to do some work. So the kids and I ran up for the game and drove back yesterday afternoon. I wish I could say I did great with my eating this weekend, but I didn't. I made some bad choices for a variety of reasons, none of which really matters. What matters is that I shouldn't have eaten all that I did for any reason. It's over and I'm moving on.

So this morning I'm back on track. My weight on Saturday morning was a new low at 188. But, I can say that after the salty bloat from yesterday it wasn't this morning. I've been drinking my water and I'm way on track with my food so I expect to be down again really soon.

Today at lunch I met with my trainer who kicked my butt. I'm so tired and sore. We did arms, chest and back. Did you know I can chest press 60 pounds now? I can't believe it. I also did weighted squats to chest presses with 30 pound weights. I did dead lifts with 30 pounds on the bosu. I did a whole bunch more stuff which I'm used to doing and makes me proud and THEN he says, "we'll finish with a little cardio." I've heard this before. no problem. BUT, this time is was the stairmaster.

WTH. That thing totally and completely sucks! I have avoided that machine for a variety of reasons, not least of which is it looks hard. Sometimes looks are deceiving and let me be absolutely clear......not this time. I did 5 min on the damn thing and I thought I was dying. DYING. That is what the elliptical felt like 2 years ago when I started this mess. It kind of pissed me off to be honest.

I mean I can do 40 minutes on the elliptical up to a level 20. I kick that things ass now, it doesn't kick mine. I can even run on the treadmill at the gym and not worry about running in public anymore. This was a MAJOR achievement for me. I can do push ups, situps, planks. I can work out HARD in a TKD class and get all sweaty and gross while people watch and not give a shit. I can lift weights. I can do FREAKING pull ups now. But that.........THING......that machine KILLED me. And I'm pissed.

Just when you think you're doing really well, something comes around to remind you just how far you have to go. I won't lie. It hurt. It hurt really bad. I thought I was going to pass out. And I felt........I felt...........like the fat girl in gym class.

Oh HELL no!

I refuse to be that girl anymore. REFUSE. You hear me! I'm done with that. I will be fit. I will be strong. I will be ABLE to do what I want. I will NOT be the fat girl........weak and panting......red faced.....short of breath......near tears because it hurts SO bad.......it's SO hard.

I've been THERE my whole life. I've done THAT and it SUCKS. I WANT MORE.

I want more from my life and over the last nearly 2 years I've seen a glimpse of what life being healthy is like. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm soooooooo far from where I was. I was fat and so unfit. Now I'm still fat, but so much closer to being fit.

In the past this kind of experience would set me back. Hell....this is what kept me from exercising for so long. It was hard. It was uncomfortable. It made me self-conscious. I just didn't like it much. Of course, you often don't like something you're not good at, that takes effort. Don't we all tend to gravitate toward those things that come naturally to us?

Not anymore. The fact that I had trouble today doing that machine just set me on FIRE. I'm mad and I'm motivated. I will not be using this as an excuse to go home and binge tonight as I would in the past. I will not be using this as an excuse to give up. I will not be letting this depress me and start the negative self-talk cycle that would always have started in the past. The "you'll never be able to" or "you just can't do those things" or the WORST one "when I lose weight, THEN I'll be able to exercise." WHAT? That kind of thinking got me to 274 pounds.

No. NOW things are different. I AM DIFFERENT. Maybe I can't do more than 5 minutes on a stair master now, but I WILL. I got on the damn thing and that is saying something for someone that had never been in a gym more than a couple of times in my whole life before I started this. I tried it. It was hard. Next time it will be easier. That's something I KNOW is true becuase I've done it before. I'll do it again.

See.....now something like this.....it's a CHALLENGE, not a ROAD BLOCK.

In the past it would have been a deal breaker. If I tried something hard and it was REALLY hard, I had to really push myself like that, I'd give up. I just didn't think I could do it. I didn't believe. I didn't think fat people like me could do these things. I was so very wrong.

Growing up I always believed I could be ANYTHING if I set my mind to it. I knew I could be a doctor. I knew I was smart enough. I knew all I had to do was work hard and it would happen. For some reason this attitude never applied to physical things. It was all too easy to believe I couldn't achieve there in the same way.

How wrong I was.

It's a CHALLENGE. Not a road block. That's all. A challenge that I will learn to meet. And then......I'll move on to the next one.

What about you? What's challenging you lately? Are you meeting the challenge and taking it on OR are you letting it be a road block? A challenge can be physical like my stair master or mental like giving in to tempting foods or not tracking. One of the best things you can do is change your attitude about challenges. Don't let them become road blocks. You can do this!

Random thoughts......

2011-09-27T15:42:00.000-07:00

Random things that I'm thinking about today:

I really did NOT want to go to the gym this morning. I had the little war in my head and guess who won? I DID. I went to the gym and I RAN despite not wanting to. I WILL finish this C25K. I WILL!
Attention young woman on the treadmill in front of me: Your boobs were screaming in agony the whole time you were running today. I heard them myself through the gym noise AND the headphones. For goodness sakes...GET a better bra...... Today.
Isn't it weird how you get in a routine and you just do things out of habit? I use the same locker at the gym every time. I use the same shower stall. Today, MY shower was taken. Screwed up my whole shower mojo. Almost forgot my shampoo!
I'm about to take my little beautiful nearly 6 year old going on 40 girl OUT. We're having issues with being polite and respectful. So last night she comes in my room. I had got the girls their dinner and then ran to my room to set the Tivo for the Cowboys game. She walks in, puts her hand on her hip and says in a very snotty tone, "AND....WHY did you not get my MILK?" Uh hem......deep breath.....I simply looked at her and then went back to what I was doing. I completely ignored her until she caught on, apologized and then asked SWEETLY if I would please get her some milk. Oh lord. Imagine what 13 is going to look like.
I attended my first TKD class today in 2 weeks. I was out a week on vacation and then last week I had strep. Wooo doggies. My buns hurt from all those kicks. AND the Master decided we needed to do EXTRA crunches and push ups. Someone please pass the Motrin.
Contrary to your belief, no matter what your uncle, brother, cousin, next door neighbor, OR your next door neighbor's 2nd cousin thinks, you may NOT need that medication that they take and just because you come in my office and ask for that medicine doesn't mean it is medically indicated. I'm a doctor, not a drug dealer.
I'm really overwhelmed trying to figure out which new TV shows are worthy of my attention and which are not. Any recommendations are welcome.My Tivo is working overtime.........BTW.....I love you Tivo!
Attention Cowboys: FOUR bad snaps in ONE game is pathetic and, quite frankly, painful to watch. I know your receivers are young (Thank you, Jerry for no depth in the roster) but for the love of GOD, it is NOT that hard to know where to line up. AND...Felix Jones.....the point of running the ball when you're ahead and there are just under 2min in the game is to RUN OUT THE CLOCK. Running out of bounds STOPS the clock. And finally.....I'm glad you won.....now do it again......that is all.
Eating that fiber bar yesterday for lunch seemed like such a good idea at the time. I mean...I wasn't very hungry and I wanted something simple. And then there was the FIBER part and the resulting trips to the BR. Nuff said.
It really annoys me when they cancel a show you really love before they finish the dang story line. How annoying. Similarly, there are a LOT of bloggers that just disappear one day. One day they are blogging and I'm enjoying getting to know them and commenting and they're commenting on my blog and it's awesome and then....they are gone. It is disturbing. Do. Not. Do. That......Please.
There are a lot of people reading my blog (THANKS, BTW!) and I'm not sure who all of you are. If I'm not reading your blog yet, please leave me a comment. I love finding new blogs. Why? Unfortunately, please see above statement. PLUS, the more I read about you guys and comment on your blogs, the less I want to eat. It's all about me, you know?

Bring your A-game!

2011-09-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

What! How could it possibly be Monday already?!?!?!? I swear sometimes I just don't know where my weekends go. Of course, it could be that we've been traveling so much lately. I haven't had a weekend at home in like a month!

Saturday we got up, ate breakfast packed a bag and headed to Norman for the OU game. I have to say that I was less than impressed with the way my Sooners played on Saturday against Missouri. I really expected more after their amazing performance at Florida State. And yesterday when the rankings came out and we dropped to #2, I think we saw that most everyone agreed. Maybe that will be a slap in the face and they'll wake up and realize that just winning isn't good enough. You have to play your best game every time if you want to be #1.

This got me thinking about my weight loss game. Just eating right and exercising most of the time isn't good enough to get the results I want. I know this. But, over the last few months I've gotten lax about my focus on the scale. It's easy to lull myself into getting comfortable with how far I've come and forget where I'm trying to go. Just doing well is not enough. Unless I'm getting the results on the scale I want, I'm not winning. I'm playing a good game, but I want to see that scale move and it takes more than I've been giving lately. I've said this before and I am frustrated and embarrassed to be writing it again. NO I haven't had a major slip. I haven't gained. But, I haven't seen the weight loss I did before.

I am feeling a bit frustrated with myself since I didn't get to work out all last week being sick with strep. I'm ready to get back in the game this week and I have my gym bag packed for a trip to the gym today at lunch. I also got lax about tracking on vacation and then last week being sick I didn't track everyday. That just will not do. There's no excuses this week. None. I am resurrecting my inner drill sergeant and getting back to being hard on myself. There is nothing wrong with expecting the best from yourself. There is nothing wrong with being hard on yourself.

There's a lot of talk around here about mistakes and how to respond to them. There are a lot of people who were here when I started this blog and are no where to be found now. Truth is, I got to be this weight by not being hard enough on myself. There are a lot of posts lately about trying to find motivation and wishing about getting back on track. Most of these posts are followed by comments which at first glance seem to be encouraging. Things like "you've come so far" or "you're doing so well" or "at least you didn't eat the WHOLE pizza". (these are not direct quotes from anyone's blog).

I understand wanting to be supportive and helpful. I do the same thing, but I also know I have a tendency to minimize my mistakes and short comings. We all do. For a long time I fooled myself into thinking that I looked good and I was healthy. Then I really took a look at where I was and realized I had to stop that. Sometimes I think we should do the same with others around here. There's a line between being supportive and being codependent and a facilitator. Do we tell others "it's OK" when they slip because we don't want to admit our own mistakes?

Should we feel like a failure when we make mistakes? No. Should we let mistakes overwhelm us and lead us to quit? Of course not. BUT, don't fool yourself. That little taste, that one cookie, that "just for today", that "It's my Birthday and I deserve it" mentality is what got us here. Being hard on yourself is a good thing. Being disciplined and expecting the best from yourself is a good thing. There's a difference between being driven and focused and being overly critical of yourself.

Today stop and think about where you are with your weight loss game. Are you giving it your all? Are you playing your best game? Do you have more you can give? Where do you want to be? What are your goals? Are you doing everything you can to get there every day?

Nobody's perfect, but there is nothing wrong with trying. I always tell my kids that if they do their very best, it's OK not to get an A. If they tried their HARDEST, and can't get an A, I'm OK with it. I had to ask myself if I was doing my best and I would have to say, not EVERY day. I can do better. What about you?

Ugh......... and Yeah!

2011-09-22T06:39:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post today. I'm not feeling great. I did a strep test on myself and it's positive. Boo! No wonder I feel bad and my throat is sore. I got a big shot of penicillin in my booty and it hurt, but I hope to feel better quickly. I haven't had a fever, thank goodness so I've been able to work. I really cannot afford to be off considering I was just off all last week.

I had a happy thing yesterday when I weighed in. I was 189. Yeah! Finally I'm in the 180s. I have been eating only chicken soup all week as I can't get much else down, so I'm retaining water from the sodium. Plus I haven't been able to drink my water because my throat hurts too much. I really think I'll be down a nother pound or two when I can drink more and move more. I'm glad to see the scale moving, no matter how slowly. I haven't felt like working out this week. In fact, I pretty much get through work, take a nap at lunch and get through work and go home and collapse into bed. I'm super tired, but I'm hoping the antibiotics will kick in soon. I'm on call this week and generally that is no biggie, but last night I got 3 calls in the middle of the night. Sigh.....

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my last post. I really was just expressing my sadness and frustration to see so many people doing things to hurt themselves. It's so sad to me and frustrating. On the bright side, I saw a patient this week who had been in about 3months ago and noticed my weight loss. I guess my weight loss inspired her because she was down 15 pounds. That makes me so proud.

I'm way too tired and feel way too bad this week to be inspiring with my posts. I hope you all are having a good week and I'll hopefully be back to myself soon. Take care!

WAKE UP! GET UP! Do something!

2011-09-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! I made it home from Orlando in one piece, despite the GI bug and the lightening storm and the fatigue from 6 amusement parks in 9 days. It was a wonderful trip. The kids had a blast, despite being sick for a few days. We arrived home late Sunday night, early Monday really, around midnight. The kids had slept on the plane, despite the turbulence, but were still really tired yesterday when time for school. We made it through the day yesterday anyway.

Unfortunately, my allergies are hay-wire and I have a really sore throat. That's ok, I'm making it. But, I have to be careful when I get overly tired as I tend to get sick. That combined with my breathing issues means no workout for a few days for me. Maybe tomorrow if today goes well.

The good news came when I weighed yesterday. I weighed in at exactly what I weighed the week before. Really good news considering the trip and I know I am retaining some water just from the travel. That means that in the next day or two as I shed that extra fluid, I will be down a pound or two. That means I went on vacation for 9 days and didn't gain any weight. In fact, I will likely have lost weight. Really good news. I know in the past I have easily gained 10 pounds on a vacation. This means I have learned something.

I know I wasn't perfect with my eating on the trip. I didn't manage to track everyday, although I tried. But we walked and walked and walked ALL DAY. And I did make some good eating choices. Plus, I just plain cannot eat as much as I did before. That's good news. It is just another testament that what I'm doing is working and I have made true lifestyle changes. It was so nice to be able to get on rides and not worry about fitting or seat belts buckling.

It really was a great time and a great trip. I'll try to find a few pics I can post although most of them are of the kids, naturally. I am sad to say that I must now have a rant.

It was absolutely unbelievable and frankly disgusting to observe the numbers of people on scooters at every park we visited. Some of these people were morbidly obese. Some of these people were not. The vast majority of these people looked obese and lazy. They didn't seem to have any medical reason to be riding a scooter. Now I realize that you can't always tell, but it was ridiculous. These people would motor everywhere. They would park and get on rides and seem to walk just fine. They would motor up to the front of every line. This is bull. If you are too lazy and too obese to walk around the park, you shouldn't be there. The best thing you could do is WALK around. You might find you feel better.

These were not older people with obvious arthritis. Some of these people were younger than me. They were just fat. I found myself getting more and more irritated. What is wrong with our society that it has become so common place for people to be this overweight. I don't think that obese people should be treated badly, but REALLY, riding your scooter into the food line to order a double cheeseburger, fries and a shake is irritating to me. Maybe if you got off the damn scooter and walked a little and ordered, perhaps, a single cheeseburger even, you might be able to MOVE.

I am by no means saying obese people should be judged. I am still fat. But at least I am making an effort to be healthier. I shudder to think what some of these people will look like in 10 years, assuming they live that long. I saw several whole FAMILIES who were obese and all riding scooters, some of them with small children in their laps. What are they teaching these children? It just plain made me ill to think about.

I am almost afraid that our society has gotten so used to the idea that most people are obese that it is ok now to be obese. Again, I don't think that obese people should be treated unfairly. I don't think making fun of them helps anything. Lord knows I suffered being a fat kid and teenager, and even sometimes as an adult. BUT, it isn't ok for your health to be obese. It isn't. It will kill you. It will kill me. It will kill my kids if I let it happen to them. Anyone who doesn't think so is fooling themselves.

Can you be fit and fat? Yes. I feel like I am. I walked and sometimes ran all over the place, carrying a huge back pack and sometimes a kid on my shoulders, that's like 60 pounds. No shortness of breath, no trouble at all. But, you are kidding yourself if you think a fit and fat person is as healthy as a fit and normal weight person. Being overweight increases your risk for all sorts of problems from heart disease to diabetes to cancer. And that is why I am determined to change my health and my weight.

Should you judge someone on their size? NO. But, you can judge them on their actions. Riding a scooter because you are too lazy to walk is embarrassing to all of us fat but fit or fat and trying to be fit people. It just solidifies the idea that thin people have that fat people are lazy and disgusting and eat all the time. I hate the fact that people look at me still and see obesity. I am obese, but I won't be forever.

I refuse to be this way forever. I will be healthy. I will do something to move toward that goal. Every. Single. Day. I just want to scream at these people, "STOP IT! WAKE UP! You are killing yourself. You are killing your kids. GET UP! Do something!" But, of course I can't.

Instead I'll keep the focus on me. My behaviors. My family. My exercise. My diet and MY GOALS. And maybe by example someone will notice. Maybe they will see it CAN be done and in turn they will get off the damn scooter and move. Are you with me?

Then let's get busy!

New mobile app! I love toys!

2011-09-10T06:58:00.001-07:00

I am posting this from about 30,000 feet. We're on the plane headed to Orlando. I love technology and all my toys. I did get my iPad and so far I love it. Of course the girls have used it as much as I have so far since they have been watching videos since we got on the plane.

The moon was lovely this morning as we drive to the airport. I didn't realize it was a full moon this weekend with the anniversary of 9-11.

My godmother received some news this week that the pathology report shows microscopic invasion of her cancer. So far it seems it shouldn't change the plan for treatment with radiation but we're still waiting on some more special tests and a PET scan. I'm praying age won't need chemotherapy. But, she's doing very well after the surgery so far.

Lots on my mind today.

Oh and here's something no parent wants to hear six hours before leaving for the airport: Mom, sister threw up. Nobody panic

Great. So I spent two hours cleaning up the child and the mess. So far she seems fine. Fingers crossed. It's no fun to have a sick kid on vacation.

Gotta go as we're beginning our descent. Good day all!

Love Your Family.

2011-09-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

We are off to Florida early tomorrow morning. No. I am not packed yet, but I will be. The kids are excited as am I. I have remained on track with food and exercise this week. Tonight I'm going to TKD class with the kids. I do not know whether I'll be blogging this week. It will be busy with Disney World and all the other associated stuff. I am planning to track all my food. I am taking some healthy snacks. I know we'll be doing tons of walking. I'm even planning to bring my polar so I can track my calories I burn.

This weekend we are remembering 9-11. Ten years. Hard to believe. The kids placed flags in the ground at school today and wrote letters to firefighters and policeman to thank them for their service. It was really touching to see all the little kids and the huge field full of flags. I suppose tonight we'll have to have a discussion about what 9-11 means. We all remember where we were that day. A horrible day. As someone who lost family in the OKC bombing, I know exactly how those families feel as they remember. My prayers and thoughts go out to them. I am thankful, so thankful for everything those that keep us safe do for us.

I was sick that whole week of 9-11-01. We had just gotten back from San Francisco that Sunday before. I was running a high fever, like 104, and it was the only time in my life I threw up on a plane. I was so so sick. I had strep throat and it took all week to recover. My husband was in Boston on business that week so I was home alone with my then 3 year old son. Sick. My mom called and told me to put the news on. I immediately panicked because my husband was scheduled to fly home later that day, which of course didn't happen. It was terrifying. I remember being glued to the TV. All day, all night.

And then the memories of OKC coming back, nightmares, anxiety, panic attacks. Just being so thankful my husband had a late afternoon flight that was then canceled. Then paranoid about how he'd get home. The airports shut down. No way home. He ended up renting a car with a co-worker and driving home to Texas.

My girls are too young to know much about that day. My son was too young back then so I kept him away from the TV. Now that he's older we've talked about it a lot. We watched a great program recently on the memorial they are building and the new building on Discovery channel.

War is a very hard thing to explain to children. Well....to anyone. It is just not something that is easy to understand. Why one human would do terrible things to another. But it is our responsibility to remember that day. What it means for our past and our future. To honor those lost and those that survived. To remember and do everything we can to be sure it never happens again.

Love your family. Tell them everyday what they mean to you. I have learned that you will never regret saying "I love you" and you will never regret spending time with those you love. I will be doing just that this next week. I'll check in to read and comment when I can. I will blog if I can and if not I'll see you when I return. Take care.

I'm a proud Mama!.......and other stuff.........

2011-09-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

This week is flying by. So so busy in the office. I haven't started packing yet for our trip to Orlando. The kids are absolutely ecstatic. I didn't think I'd get the girls to sleep last night because they were talking about princesses. My youngest wasn't even 2 last time we were there and I can't wait to see her react to the place. If you've never been, you really must go.

So yesterday for a few seconds I finally saw 189 on the scale. then it popped back to 190. Sigh. I do not understand why I lose weight so slowly. The math is there. I'm tracking and eating right, but still waiting. I know I've gained muscle and in the long run that will help me with weight loss. I'm so strong now. I'm really proud of the things I can do. I just wish the weight would drop some more. I will not give up! I'm absolutely committed to tracking on the trip next week. There's just no excuse for not doing it considering I use my LoseIt app on my iphone and I have it with me all the time.

Speaking of iphones.......my son had his stolen last week. Boo. Hiss. He swears it was locked in his football locker and he came back from practice to find all his stuff dumped out of his backpack. I'm bummed for him. The only reason he had one is because his dad had one, but recently switched to an Evo. Now today I have to run and get him a new phone, not an iphone this time. Maybe next year before high school. I am thinking about upgrading to the iphone 5 this fall when it comes out. I just love my iphone. I use it for everything.

I'm thinking of getting an ipad. Any users out there? My cousin has one and loves it. Now that my office software is compatible it makes sense from a business standpoint. We're getting ready for a big software conversion soon. I'm excited because the new version has so much more capability.

My legs are so super sore today. All the kicking on Tuesday really got my hips sore. I hadn't had class in over a week as the gym was closed the week of labor day. It's amazing how quickly your body gets stiff when you don't stretch. Has me thinking I should follow Shelley's lead and get to yoga. If only I had time. I really want to try it . Maybe I'll check the class times when I get back from vacation.

Earlier this summer I actually WON a giveaway from Tami at Nutmeg Notebook. I won a gift card to Tom Thumb to try their new product line, Open Nature. These are all organic, no chemical products. I finally got around to using the card and trying some products. I have to say they are very good. I got the lunch meats and their hummus. Both are very good. I also tried the ice cream. It's a bit much calorie wise for me at 140cal for 1/2 cup, but it is very yummy. The kids loved it! It's cherry vanilla and there are lots of cherries! Thanks Tami!

And now I must brag. My son is playing football again this year. He worked hard all summer exercising and lifting weights. He slimmed down and is SO much stronger this year. Here he is in his scrimmage last week.

He's #72

He's playing defensive line. He loves that. Notice in this pic how the other team has THREE guys on him trying to stop him from getting through the line, which he did anyway, but I missed that shot with the camera. He had 1 sack and several near sacks and this was just in a 20 min scrimmage. So proud of how well he's doing. He's so much more confident this year. He's growing up too fast. Sniff. Sniff.

He's the one in the center of the picture holding his own against 3 other helmets on the line of scrimmage.

I am super proud of him for learning already that exercise and fitness is so important to our lives. Tonight after work I have TKD class with the girls. Then we'll head home and after dinner I have to start packing for our trip. How are you helping teach your kids or others around you about fitness? Do you find it stressful or a lot of pressure to have people "watching" and learning from you OR are you like me and use it as motivation to stay the course? How have you gotten your kids and/or other family involved in your healthy lifestyle? It's absolutely key for us AND them that they join us on this journey.

Weekend Wrap up and More Vacation pics!

2011-09-06T20:26:00.000-07:00

We had a great Labor Day weekend. It was busy, but that's my life. Friday night I took my son to the high school game here in town. He was invited with the other 8th graders to run onto the field for half time as future players at their school. It was hot and muggy. Of course my son didn't want to sit with mom so I sat by myself and enjoyed watching the game. I love football of all kinds.

Saturday morning we packed up and headed to Norman for the OU game. Luckily it was an evening game because it was still pretty hot outside. We did our usual long walk and lots of standing. I was proud of myself for tracking my food all weekend. Even though I overate some, I wrote it all down. I think it helped a lot because I came home without gaining any weight. We stopped on the way to the game and I got a grilled shrimp salad at Fuzzy's Tacos. It was very good. Next time, though, I'll have them hold the cheese. There was too much. At the game I did well and drank a lot of water and only ate a few peanuts.

Sunday, we went to church with my family and then after we went to Pizza Hut. I had a salad and 1/2 a veggie mini pizza. Then we did a little shopping. I visited with my godmother who is doing well after her surgery for breast cancer. Afterward, we headed home. The drive was good and little traffic, so much better than traveling on Monday as we usually do.

Arriving home on Sunday afternoon means that we had all day Monday here at home to do a few things and spend some time together. It was a lovely day with highs in the 80s. It was windy. We grilled some steak and corn on the grill and we got to swim a little. It was a bit cold for me so I spent time in the spa instead.

Today I was back at work with a super busy schedule. I stopped at the gym this morning and did week 2 day 1 of C25K. Then at lunch I went to TKD class. Now my legs are a bit sore, but I think I just need to stretch a little more. Tonight after work I had to head straight to my son's football scrimmage. It was hot, but not too bad. Now I'm here trying to finish the work I didn't have time to get done.

Food today was good. I had a small zucchini-pineapple muffin(cupcake). They are fabulous! The recipe is here. I had it without the icing. The whole family loved this treat and for under 200 calories! Along with the muffin I had my coffee and an orange. I had cherries for snack. At lunch I had tuna and salad with some melon on the side. Tonight I ate just a peach, carrots and hummus and a cup of the lentil soup my Nanny made. I had some more melon. My calories are at 1077. I burned 908 with exercise today.

I have only 3 more days until our Florida trip! I'm so excited and ready to go. The kids cannot wait. So......here's the last of my August vacay pics!

SAC Museum in Omaha. Too fun with all the planes and such!

Hydrogen bomb.

This is what happens when your 6 year old takes your pic.

SR-71 Blackbird


The flooding at the Missouri river from the Lewis and Clark Memorial park in Council Bluffs, IA

Cute Monkey at the Omaha Zoo.

How I feel now.

If you are ever in the vicinity, make sure you see the Henry Dorley Zoo in Omaha. It really is one of the best in the country, and I've seen a LOT of zoos!

OK, that's all the pics from my August trip....finally. I hope I didn't bore you all with them. How did you do through Labor Day? Are you staying on track? If not, what's your plan for getting back on track? Do you like visiting zoos and museums? What is your favorite?

Yawn....goodnight all!

HAY........Have a Great Weekend!

2011-09-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

Labor Day weekend and a long one for many of us. I am looking forward to the weekend and the trip to Oklahoma. We have a football game to attend and there is nothing I love more than football and my Sooners! The season looks to promising. We're ranked #1 right now. Of course the pessimist in me would prefer they be ranked 3-4 and move up. But, it's nice to have a great team.

The travel is always an issue and I am determined to avoid pitfalls and do a better job than I did on my longer vacation earlier in August. Of course it's only a few days so that makes it easier. I plan to exercise on Sunday morning as I am due to start week 2 of C25K. Should be no problem for me to get out and run that morning. Food wise there is always a big question mark as we never know exactly where we will be eating. I have planned to take a few healthy snacks such as jerky and almonds and even a protein bar for emergency purposes.

This morning I went to the gym before work. It's so much more crowded in the morning and there is a totally different crowd. There are a lot of people that clearly don't have anywhere to be because there is a lot more chatting and laughing and slower pace vs the lunch crowd which is usually people alone, getting their workouts done and getting out. I prefer that crowd myself. Today there was a group of ladies on the treadmill just laughing and talking so loudly I could hear them over the gym buzz AND my headphones. Kind of annoying really. But, I got my C25K done and that means week1 is officially done. Again. I sis some great stretching afterward because I am sore from the weights I did yesterday.

Food yesterday was good and my calories were 1199. Guess I could have had a celery stick to make it an even 1200. Last night, we had a zucchini stuffed chicken breast which was fabulous. Not too many calories. I had it with asparagus and salad. It was very satisfying. You can find the recipe here. I just love this blog! Some really great easy recipes there.

Work today has been busy, not too bad considering it's a Friday before the long holiday weekend. On the way to our satellite office I was behind a huge truck hauling hay. I promptly began sneezing my head off, and quickly put the air on re-circulate. The stuff was flying EVERYWHERE. Welcome to Texas.

I don't think you can see, but hay was flying EVERYWHERE!

And look at my car after. Looks like it's chewing hay......

Just cracked me up...

I'm wearing my new breast cancer shirt. I think it is awesome. I got one for my godmother and mailed it to her before her surgery.


I took this and then realized you can't read it in the mirror. Duh.

I loved the words and it just really spoke to me. These are words that mean so much to me in this journey........not that I'd compare my struggle with weight to breast cancer. I'm so lucky to be healthy. Fat, but healthy. The only way I'll stay that way is stay the course and lose this weight!

I hope all of you have a great holiday weekend. I'm off to pack and get ready for our trip in the morning. I'll see you all Monday or Tuesday depending on when I get time to post next.

Do you have inspirational clothes you wear? What about quotes and such? How do you use them in your getting healthy routine?

Exercise fiend?

2011-09-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

September is here. Where did the summer go? Hard to believe that fall is on the way considering it was 104 degrees last night at 6pm. SOOO tired of this heat. I swear it is making people so irritable and bordering on psychotic.

Thanks for all your encouraging thoughts for my godmother yesterday. The surgery went as expected. She did very well and it looks like the cancer was contained and all removed. We'll know for sure when the final pathology report is available.

Yesterday I ate great, I ended with 1250 cal. At lunch I went to the gym. I did C25K Week 1 day2. I started over when my iphone had to be reloaded and my settings were lost. It is getting easier and I am doing better on speed this time through. After my walk/run, I lifted some weights. My trainer was happy to see me in the gym so much this week. I explained that TKD is closed this week so I've had extra time. He wants me to do the gym 3-4 times a week, but with TKD 2-3 times a week that's generally not in my schedule. Now that the kids are in school maybe I can do more. I'm sure enjoying the extra workouts this week.

So yesterday as I was having to wrap up my workout to get back to work I realized something amazing. I love working out. I want to do it more. I'm pretty sure if I had the opportunity I could spend hours in the gym everyday. Between cardio, weights and swimming and even yoga classes which I have yet to try due to my schedule. I wish I had more time in my day to spend just doing all the exercise I want. That is SO weird for me. In March 2010 when I really got busy on this healthy track I could barely force myself to walk 30 min a day. Now I'm pissed off if I only have time for a 30 min workout. WHO am I? I don't know, but I like it. Today I will be doing elliptical and some weights and my plan is to swim laps for a bit as well. If there is time, I may even hop in the hot tub. I have a little extra time today since work is slow today. I think people are getting ready to go out of town.

I'm trying hard not to weigh everyday. The scale calls to me and I tell him to wait. I'll weigh on Monday. I have a football game this weekend. I'll have to watch for the usual traps. Especially the trap of not drinking enough water and having alcohol. That just makes me bloat so badly. I rarely if ever drink and I don't drink much when I do. But, it is amazing to me how little it takes to bloat me.

I went to Kohl's this morning and checked on the clearance racks. I just hate paying money for clothes these days. I found some cute cheap shirts for fall and a couple of pants. None of them were more than $10. Plus I had my 15% coupon. SCORE! I love bargains.

I have just a few more vacation pics to share........
After Mount Rushmore, we drove to the Badlands National Park. So different from anywhere I've ever been. Beautiful in a very unique way.


Me in my Sturgis hat

Then we drove to the famous Wall Drug

My picture on the famous Jackaloupe

Then we stopped in Mitchell, South Dakota at the famous Corn Palace. All the murals are made from corn!

So.....where are you with your exercise routine? Are you getting it in? Are you getting enough? What is your FAVORITE exercise? What time of day do you usually exercise and how do you fit it into your schedule?

Send Prayers and......randomness and..... Cute bear pics........

2011-08-31T06:48:00.000-07:00

Lots going on in my world today. My godmother has her surgery for breast cancer this morning. Stressful and I wish I could be there, but I have to work. I called and talked to her this morning and the kids did, too. I sent her a card and this awesome breast cancer T-shirt I got for her (and me). It's really cute. I'll take a pic and post later. Please send thoughts and prayers her way and for me because it's very hard to focus for me today. PLUS it's end of month and I HAVE to stay on task and get my work done.

Speakingof work. I have put up a new blog for my practice. Medical stuff. If you are ineterested in following my other blog you can here. It will be more about medical issues and my life as an md and less about my weight loss and that adventure although I'm sure I'll discuss it there some as well.

Grief is a funny thing. Today as I was driving to work I was thinking that I need to send my BFF an email and see how her first week of school is going. She's a high school biology teacher. My cousin(who was like a brother to me) that died in March taught the same subject across town at the other high school in my home town. So I'm driving and thinking about my BFF and it's like for a minute I forgot he was gone. I thought, "I should check on William"........and then I realized he was gone. Feel so guilty, so bad, so sad........I miss him. But, that is the nature of grief, isn't it? It is the random and the day to day things that can really bother you. I always liked checking in with him the first week of school to see how he was liking his classes and such and now........

*************************************************
Reason 1569 why shouldn't weigh everyday: I was up 3 pounds today. Why why why why? Truth is it doesn't matter. I know I haven't really gained 3 pounds. When will I learn not to do this to myself?? Sigh. Whatever........I'll not let this bother me. Onward! Today I will be going to the gym. C25K again. I'm determined to finish it this time! Lunch and snacks are packed. I'm on track with food.

I miss my fitbit. It got washed. It is dead. Dead. dead. dead. Bummer. NOw what? Do I get another one or do I try some other toy? Do any of you have a toy? Bodybugg? Or other? Do you like it? I'm thinking about it.

And finally........More vacay pics. Gotta get all these posted before my trip to Orlando in just 9 days. It's for family fun AND business as I'll be attending the American Academy of Family Physicians meeting and doing stuff for my board certification. So here's some more ......hope I'm not boring all of you with this.
We sent to this animal reserve called Bear Country USA just outside Rushmore. The best part was the bear cubs. We stood and watched them for nearly an hour. They were adorable. A bunch of them climbed into this tree and were fighting over the top. So so so cute. Just have to smile.

The little one at the bottom climbed all the way to the top and then was tired so went back down and fell asleep while the rest continued to wrestle their way to the top. That's the way we should be. Do our thing and ignore the chaos around us.

Hi! Wanna play?

So tired.....

MINE!

WHAT are you buying?

2011-08-30T15:30:00.000-07:00

Today has been a good day. Busy, but good. After I got the kids off to school I headed off to do a couple of errands. Do they ever stop? Seems like there is always something on the grocery list or what not. Anyway...as I was shopping at Wal-Mart I noticed two ladies, obviously mother and daughter. Both of them in scooters. Both of them quite obese. I happened to glance into their scooter baskets and then......well......I confess I became judgemental. In Mom's basket was white bread, Pepsi, powdered donuts, Doritos and bananas. In the daughter's there was a 6 pack of snapple, velveeta cheese, Milk (whole milk), oreos.... and that's all I saw as they rolled past me.

Inside I was soooo.....frustrated. I mean, come on. These ladies are hurting themselves. They are not even trying to eat healthy and to top it off they are ROLLING through the store while buying this stuff so they aren't even moving. I just hate to see people do this. It's like the patient I had recently that told me he was watching his diet since now he only has one package of donuts in the morning instead of the two he was eating. AHHH! I just want to smack them and say WHAT?

When is the last time these people had food that was NOT in a package? When was the last time that they actually ate something the way it was grown? Like an apple without caramel sauce or peanut butter or dips of any kinds? Don't they know that these foods will kill them? All those calories in the snapple and pepsi and..... VELVEETA?! What IS that stuff?

And THEN I want to scream WALK! You know that riding around in a freaking scooter is just making your problems WORSE. You have to move or die. MOVE OR DIE. If you cannot go to the store to get your snapple and donuts and oreos and pepsi without using a scooter because you are too obese to walk around the store and pick that crap up, perhaps it is time to STOP BUYING THAT CRAP!

Then I felt guilty. I mean, you don't know. Maybe they always eat healthy and are just getting that crap this one time. But then......they are both in a scooter. They don't look like they move much at all. I know that I shouldn't judge, but I just wanted to walk over to them and rip that shit out of their baskets and tell them to stop it. Of course I didn't. I just went on my way.

Then I got mad because this image is what other people have in their minds of obesity. They think all fat people eat like that all the time and we don't. I DON'T. I don't want people to see that shit in my basket EVER. EVER EVER EVER. I am done with that kind of crap. Today I bought bananas, onions, cantaloupe and peaches. That's it. I hate that some people see me and think that's the shit I eat all day. Of course they would be judging me the way I am now judging..........sigh.

Anyhoo.....At lunch I headed to the gym. Did 35 minutes on the elliptical, some crunches, leg lifts and I reviewed my TKD forms and kicking drills. There are no TKD classes this week because they are on vacation. I miss it. I won't lie. But, it was a good workout. After, I headed to Pet Smart to pick up a new light for the turtle and then to Target to return some stuff. Got behind the lady with 5,000 coupons.......of course.

Today I've been hungry, but I'm managing. Luckily I packed my lunch and snacks because the office had BBQ and I could have taken a dive right into that yummy stuff-brisket, sausage, ribs, baked beans, peach cobbler. I didn't have any. Instead I had my Atkins shake, my cherries, my carrots with hummus and my strawberries for snack. More water and I'll make it home without touching the left overs. Salad for dinner and something veggie. Hopefully some protein. I think fish of some sort.

My godmother has her surgery tomorrow for her breast cancer. I am not worried, but concerned. She seems ready and hopefully all will be well with her. Kids are in school and we are so busy. September will probably fly by. We have a trip to Oklahoma for the football game on Saturday. Oh how I love my college football!

Do you ever get judgy when you see people engaging in very obvious self-destructive behaviors? How are you doing holding to your eating plan this week? What is your "go to" snack for hungry days?

Weekend wrap-up post and yet MORE vacation pics.

2011-08-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

Monday morning and I have several reasons to smile. FIRST, it is raining. Actual water from the sky kind of raining. The temps have dropped and for that I am very thankful. Second, I spent the weekend working hard around the house. I didn't work out, but it was a lot of work. I hardly sat down at all. That means I didn't have time to eat much. I tracked all weekend. This morning when I weighed I am finally back to 190! After gaining and losing the same five pounds for the last month or two I am back on my way down the scale.

THIRD, I am just 11 days away from our Orland trip. Smile. I'm headed to Orlando for the American Academy of Family Physicians meeting. Hubbie and the kids are coming along. We'll be doing Disney AND Harry Potter. I'm very excited about that one as we'll have one evening there when it's just people from the convention. When we've been at these events before it is very fun with very few crowds! Can't wait. (Yes. I'm a Harry Potter freak. Yes, I've read all the books and seen all the movies like 200 times. Except the last one where I cried through the whole thing. Can you say "sap"?)

More Vacation........
At Custer State Park in South Dakota, we drove the Needles Highway which is basically an old winding highway through a lot of rock. It was really cool.

After that, We went to Mount Rushmore. I was surprised how much the kids LOVED this stop.

Not crazy about this pic of me, but it reminds me to stay on track. Still a ways to goal!

Then on to Crazy Horse

Some more pics of the drive

I love this T-shirt!

This is what we saw EVERYWHERE we went!

I love the fog coming off the lake in this one.

And so today I got the kids to school and got into the office early to finish up work from last week. Very busy day here. I had a nice compliment from a patient that had moved away, and came back to me today. So nice for a patient to remember me enough to be sure I'm their doctor again. I went to the gym at lunch and did C25K. As it turns out I had to reload my iphone (stupid itunes stupid backup problems stupid stupid). Anyway, that means I lost all my old C25K data. I had restart the program last Friday so I just did day one AGAIN. Day 2 is planned for Wednesday. I'm drinking water and eating on plan. I'm hoping to see 180-something very very soon. That will be my lowest weight yet!

How are you doing lately with exercise? Doing anything new or different? Are you a morning or evening exerciser? Gym or at home? What is your favorite exercise? Least favorite?

Hang in there! Stay on track. Keep going.................

Thunder?........And......Vacation Post #2

2011-08-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Today I was shook awake by the sound of loud rolling thunder at before 5am. In my sleepy haze, I wondered to myself what the hell the kids were doing upstairs and why were they up so early. That's how long it's been since we had a thunderstorm. Once I realized that it was a storm, I bounded out of bed only to discover that there was no rain. For the next hour I tried to go back to sleep unsuccessfully. All of that for not one drop of rain. Are you kidding me? Plus it is just as hot today as it has been. What? On my way to work I drove through the car wash. Maybe that will help. If not, at least it's a big screw you to the unproductive sleep interrupting clouds.

More on the vacation......

We arrived at Custer State Park in South Dakota. I have to say that I was surprised by how pretty it is there. The best part was the weather was fabulous. We wore shorts most of the time, but often needed a light jacket. Such a welcome break from the hot nastiness still lingering here in Texas. We took the drive around the park and saw tons of animals- both 4 legged and 2. Bikers and motorcycles everywhere! One night we went to a chuckwagon dinner where we had a hay ride out to a valley and they cooked dinner for us with Cowboy music and everything. The kids loved this! I'm so glad we did it.

We got lucky and drove up on the huge herd of buffalo just as they were crossing the road. Lots of babies!

Prairie dogs all over. Huge towns of them. Squeak, squeak, squeak

Wild Burros roam the park. They walk right up so you can pet them and feed them. The kids loved feeding them carrots and apples which were given to them by some nice bikers who'd obviously been there before so they knew to bring them. So nice of them!

I just love this pic!

Today was a very busy day, but then what else is new? Like I said I woke up too early and on top of that I had a migraine from the storm. I got the boy off to football by 6:30am. Girls ready for school. Then to the car wash and then to work. I did some extra work to catch up this morning. At lunch I had an appointment with my trainer. I'll admit I dreaded it considering it had been 2 week since I worked out at all. He kicked my butt. It needed it mind you, but it was a whippin'.

I did 30 chest presses with 17.5lbs on the balance ball. Then 20 crunches with the ball and 20 leg lifts. Then lat pull downs, 20 pounds 30 reps. THEN I did 15 pullups and 15 triceps dips on the machine. Then 15 bicep curls, 25pounds. THEN cable rows with 20 lbs. AND THEN I did up-downs with 25lb weights. AND THEN........I did all that a second time. All that after 15min on the elliptical. Yep. I'll be sore. I really wanted to quit on those last pullups. But then I got this image of Ann H. from Carb Tripper

After that workout, I headed back to work. After work, I headed to TKD. It was my first class since my blue belt. It was fun, but I've missed some classes so I am behind on the material. Food today was great. I had 1057calories. For dinner I had this wonderful salmon with pesto and a little feta cheese. I burned over 1200calories today just in my workouts. I'm hoping for being back to below my pre-vacation and pre-steroid weight this weekend.

Tomorrow is Friday. Thank goodness. I need the weekend and so do the kids. Lots to do, as usual. I'll be in touch tomorrow. Good night!

Vacation Post....FINALLY ...AND some Pics!

2011-08-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

Well I'm finally making a little time to get some stuff posted about my vacation. I'll probably have to do this in a couple of different posts since I have so many pics.

My vacation began with me getting my blue belt. It was hard. One of the hardest things I've ever done. The test was nearly 4 hours long. I was working most of that time. I sparred twice, one with a red-black belt and another with an adult black belt. The teenager red-black belt hit me with a crescent kick to the face (not allowed at my level), but it didn't stop me. I just kept fighting. I broke my board with a round house kick, first try. It was about 2 inches thick! I won't say it didn't hurt a bit. My big toe was bruised and hurting for all the next day.

If you can see it, that shadow of purple-black on my left chin is the bruise from the kick to the face

This weird angle is me trying to get all of me in the pic.

After my test, my son tested and got his red-black belt. He's just one step from black now and we are so proud of him. He worked super hard to get it. His test was nearly 6 hours long! Immediately after his test we ran home, showered, locked up the house and headed to Oklahoma to pick up my BFF and her kids for the trip. We rented a Suburban so all 8 of us could ride together and share the driving. From there we drove all the way to Kearney, Nebraska where we stopped at the Great Platte River Archway which is sort of a museum all about the Oregon Trail and the Transcontinental Railroad. The kids enjoyed it and after all that time we needed a break.

From there we drove over to Paxton, Nebraska which is a tiny town. There they have a famous steak house called Ole's Steak House. It was started by a big game hunter in the 1930s. He had a huge taxidermy collection and it is now displayed there. They had all kinds of animals. Our table was near a giraffe. There was an elephant and even a polar bear. The food was good. Of course I had steak.

From there we drove to Chimney Rock.

And then to Car Henge. The kids LOVED this stop. They ran around climbed on all the cars and we took a ton of silly pictures.

Finally, we drove to Custer State Park in South Dakota. We rented a Cabin there and the surroundings were lovely. As it turns out, we were there the same week as the annual Sturgis Bike Ralley. That's right. We shared the road with thousands and thousands of bikes. It was amazing. I've never seen so many in my life. Luckily we didn't run into any problems and the bikers we interacted with were super nice. Tomorrow I'll post some pics from inside the park. There's so much more.........

Back to this week....
So far I am doing well. I'm super tired and still trying to keep my head above water with work, kids and back to school stuff. Today I went to the gym before work. It was a very pleasant way to start the day. I needed to work out SO badly. I did 35min on the elliptical. Tomorrow I meet with my trainer. Pretty sure it's gonna hurt. Then I'll do my first (finally) blue belt class at TKD.

Food wise I've been spot on. Today I had an Atkins shake for breakfast followed by an apple for snack. For lunch I packed a wrap sandwich on the Flat Out wrap with ham, lettuce, cheese and mustard. I had some carrots and 2tbs hummus for snack. Then in the afternoon a peach. For dinner I had a salad with tuna and green beans and watermelon. My calories for today are at 1187. I have to say I was very hungry today, especially in the mid-morning. I didn't eat enough breakfast and not enough protein for my workout. The office lunch was enchiladas, queso and chips and other tasty forbidden fruits. I did not partake, but I did enjoy sniffing it. I wanted to. Really did. But, I know better. PLUS the sodium!

We're half way through the first week of school! Hanging on and staying on track. How are you this week? Had to avoid any temptations lately? Hang in there and stay focused. In the words of Dori: Just Keep Swimming!

Treading Water!

2011-08-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

I am finally sitting down late tonight to do a post. I feel so hurried and hectic lately! The past 2 weeks have been an extremely busy time. I swear, I can't wait for the weekend where maybe I can get a few things off my ever growing to-do list!

I have not exercised yet this week! I am extremely irritated and increasingly frustrated by that. I just plain have not had time. I had to get that flat tire fixed yesterday at lunch. Today I HAD to get my hair done as I'd already changed the dang appointment twice. It's hard for me to have time to get that done, so I try to go at lunch. Tomorrow I have a meeting at lunch about the new software for the office. Sigh. I have an appointment with the trainer on Thursday and I am planning a TKD class that evening. My only reservation is that after 2 weeks of no workouts I'll probably die. No pain, no gain, correct?

The kids are settling in to the new school routine. Boy has to be at football at 6:30am. I drop off the girls a little before 8am. Today I had the realization that now that both girls are in school earlier, I would actually have time to hit the gym in the mornings! This is exciting to me as I've never had that opportunity. Now to just figure out which days. I have my bag packed and I am going to try it out tomorrow. This morning I had to make another Target trip to get yet another binder for my son. Why can't these teachers tell us everything we need at one time?

Food has been great this week. I'm doing well and tracking. Today I finally remembered to retrieve my fitbit from my briefcase where it's been since vacation. I was greatly amused by the fact that it recorded 23 steps for me last week and even posted it to facebook as usual. Too funny. Truth is I'm doing my best to get everything done, but it's pretty hard.

Today I spent a lot of time on my practice website trying to update it with the new pictures. They turned out well as far as pictures go. Tomorrow I'll try to get it posted here as my new pic. I also finally got a facebook page up for the practice. It takes so much time to do this stuff, but I feel like it will be good marketing and a good way to get patients information.

Anyway, I'm treading water and as always I'm not giving up. I haven't read many blogs today. I'll get caught up tomorrow. Right now I need only one thing.....sleep! Good night, All!

CRAZY CATCHUP post.

2011-08-21T21:14:00.000-07:00

I've had quite a week and it has been CRAZY so this post will serve as catch up and I'll get my vacation stuff posted later. Last week I spent most of the week half sick, but working anyway. Finally I called my ENT on Wednesday and he started the steroids again. I hate hate hate taking those, but I like breathing. So, I'm now on a 2 week course of them and antibiotics, which I also hate having to take. But, I do feel a lot better.

I didn't work out all last week. I ate well and I lost nearly all the few pounds I gained. I feel like all I've done lately is gain and lose the same 5 pounds over and over. Well, that's because that is exactly what I've done. I am determined to get back on track and head down the scale again. I'm frustrated because I still haven't been able to go to my new TKD blue belt class. But, I just couldn't with my breathing so bad and the office in chaos.

Last week was crazy in the office. There's been a lot of office drama which I could do without ever having. Why can't people just do their jobs, gets along and then go home? I don't know. I don't see how that added stress helps anyone. Patients were difficult. I think this heat has gotten everyone grumpy. I had one patient die. I had another leave the office by ambulance and I ended up on the phone with authorities, police, medical examiner, more than once last week. Not fun, to say the least.

At home, I have felt bad so I didn't do much all week. The pool is still in need of repair and we had a swim party on for Saturday. Luckily, the pool is swimable so the kids got the opportunity. Hopefully the pool will be fixed this next week. HOPEFULLY. Friday night, my cousins came to visit for my daughter's birthday. Her party was the pool fun for the weekend. A few minutes before our guests arrived from Oklahoma, we discovered a leak in the kitchen sink. Fabulous. Now I have a house full of people, wet floor, mess everywhere, and no way to do dishes. Sigh. Luckily I quickly shut off the water before too much damage was done. Tomorrow a call to the plumber and a trip to Lowe's today and our new faucet is waiting to be installed. On top of that, with a house full of guests, one of the upstairs toilets decided to stop working. Seriously. Luckily that was an easy fix for my husband so no one had to wait too long to potty.

Saturday I went to the store to get a few groceries and pick up the cake for the party. One hour before the party I learn that they have lost my order, and that means no cake. Sigh. Luckily they were able to fix one for me quick and it was just fine. I got myself, the groceries, the cake and the balloons to the car only to discover a flat tire. Crap. I drove over to the gas station and pumped it up and back home in time for the party. Now instead of working out with my trainer tomorrow, I have to get the tire fixed. (they aren't open on Sundays but at least I have a warranty on the tires. Double sigh)

I arrived home and unloaded, finished decorating and then discovered I'd forgotten the bag of ice that I delayed getting while waiting on the cake. Too freaking bad, we'll make do. But, my sweet 7 year old girl had a great party. It was a Luau theme (all her idea). We had a house full of little girls in grass skirts and flowers around their necks, hula dancing and doing the limbo in the living room. Adorable. They enjoyed the pinata and the coloring activity. Then there was the pool time. Great time for all at the end of the day.

There are worse things in the world than a small plumping problem or two and a flat tire. We enjoyed our weekend anyway, though it went by too fast. The kids start school tomorrow so the boy has football practice a 6:30am sharp. My baby is in eighth grade and I am a little sad about it. My middle quiet child and newly 7 year old will be in second grade. My youngest baby girl starts kindergarten tomorrow and I am a little sad there two, but I love seeing them grow up. Each phase is a new adventure and just plain wonderful.

A little more hard news last week. We found out my mom's best friend and my second mom (godmother?) has breast cancer. Luckily it seems to be localized and caught early enough although we won't know for sure of course until the surgery which is scheduled for the 31st. Then she'll need radiation at least, but hopefully no chemo will be necessary. Luckily a trip to Oklahoma was already scheduled for that weekend for the season opening of the Sooners so we'll be in town to check on her. I've spent some extra time this week on the phone and web reviewing reports and answering questions for her, mainly interpreting the medical speak. She seems to be taking it well so far without too many jitters and has a really good attitude. She's a very strong and otherwise healthy lady so I know she'll pull through this illness just fine.

And so I'm still around, my super crazy life just has not permitted one single minute of time and freedom to get on here to blog, but here I am, desperate to get back to normal. Not looking forward to the coming adjustment to the new school routine, but hey...that's life, right? Sitting here finishing up work that was backed up from last week due to the craziness and watching pre-season football. Oh how I love my football. Even when the Boys look soooooo bad. Sigh. It's still the game I love.

I'm back on track and ignoring carb cravings from the steroids and determined not to let life stand in the way of my living mine. Take care and I hope you are avoiding this crazy weirdness and stress I've been dealing with. Can't wait to catch up with all of you. Let me know what you're up to!

I'm back! and I need some hot tea.........

2011-08-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone!
I've missed you all so much. I had a great vacation and I will be preparing a post or two to tell you all about it, but until then I just wanted to drop in and let you know I'm back. We had a fabulous time and great memories were made with the kids. I unfortunately came back sick. I have a sore throat and fever, but of course I'm at work anyway. Tonight I'm going home to rest. I'm thinking I caught a little bug and the little sleep and bad food on the trip probably didn't help my health situation. We hiked and walked and played all week. I was really active despite all the time in the car. My weight was up a few pounds this morning, but not surprised. I was no saint this week with the food, but I was much better than in years past. I have learned a few things in the past year about healthy eating after all. Last year I managed to maintain and even lose a bit on the trip, but we had a kitchen and prepared most of our meals and snacks. It's much harder when you spend most of the time on the road, but I'm back and right back on track today.

I didn't feel like eating much with the sore throat. I postponed my workout with the trainer until next week and went home at lunch for a quick nap and some chicken soup. It's so hard to get the brain going again after a week off! But, I'll be back to my workout schedule tomorrow and my new BLUE BELT class tomorrow, assuming I feel ok tomorrow. My inbox runneth over with the blogs I need to catch up on. I admit I didn't read any while I was gone. Some of the time we were in the mountains and had no internet anyway. I had like 2000 in my google reader this morning!!! So I am reading what I can. I tuned right in to my favs, you know who you are, and I was surprised how much I missed reading and hearing from all of you my internet friends. Amazing to me that people I've never met are so much a part of my day and routine! So keep posting and know that I'm here and reading.

Take care and be healthy!

UPs and Downs.

2011-08-05T05:33:00.000-07:00

What a week I've had. There have been several ups and downs.

UP: Preparing for my vacation which will begin end of business today. We'll leave tomorrow after my TKD test and my sons test. He got his invitation to test last night and he is so proud, so am I. He has worked so hard over the last few months and especially this month. This week he's been to 2 classes everyday and teaching extra classes. That's a lot of dedication for a 13year old. He's testing for his red-black belt, next stop=black!

DOWN: We had reserved a large SUV to drive on the trip. My BFF and her kids will be joining us as usual. Neither of us has a car that seats 8. Believe me next vehicle I buy will! Anyway, husband went to pick up said vehicle and of course they didn't have one. I HATE car rental places. In my experience they never have what you originally reserve. They always switch it on you or don't have it. My husband spoke to the district manager and we're hoping they'll find one for us today. We have a guaranteed contract, which we paid extra for. I won't name the company because they seem to be trying to fix the problem.

UP: I've been on call all week and the pager has been quiet. Thank you pager gods. As of lunch today, no more call this week.

DOWN: Our pool was majorly screwed up all week. GREEN city. Ewww! The heat is making the chemistry hard to control. And then we realized our salt pump that generates the chlorine is not working. Two days prior to vacation. Sigh. Luckily we were able to get an appointment with the repair guy this afternoon. Hopefully they can fix it. After dumping all kinds of chemicals in, the pool was clear last night, for now. But, I've been to the pool store nearly every day trying to get it straight. I'm so thankful for having the pool, but it is a lot of work and expense.

UP: I've stuck to the daily exercise and tracking. Yesterday I went to two TKD classes in preparation for the test. I've worked out hard and I'm ready for it. I'll admit I'm a bit nervous about the sparring and board breaking. But, at least we practiced sparring yesterday. My calories on Wednesday ended at 1087. Yesterday was 988. I should have eaten more, but I wasn't hungry for a change. For breakfast I had my shake and coffee. At lunch I had a salad and hummus with celery on the side. For dinner we had roast and I had 1/2 cup of mashed potatoes. Man it's been forever since I had those. It was very good and I was full. I'm looking for a good loss on the scale this week. Scale! I'm talking to you!

Down: One of my employees had a young child in their family killed yesterday in a car accident. Just tragic. My BFF had a distant cousin killed in Afghanistan by an IED. It really brings the war close to home for me. There have been multiple deaths from the heat here in Texas. One was a football coach this week.

UP: I received my OU season football tickets yesterday. Can't wait for the first game on Sept. 3rd. OU is ranked #1 in pre-season polls. Looks to be a good year. Of course I never like to be ranked #1 so early. No where to go but down, but that's just my inner Eeyore speaking.

Down: I'm been completely unimpressed with what the Cowboys have done so far. Nothing exciting in free agency this year and the dreaded and hated satan called the Eagles (love you Alan) have done a lot. But, what scares me the most is the Patriots acquiring Chad Johnson and Haynesworth. What? The evil that is Belichick getting 2 more hall of fame level players (in theory should they both live up to their potential). Plus, our corner Newman got hurt yesterday and he was important to our defense, such as it is anyways. Another down was the d-tackle from the Eagles who collapsed in practice with a seizure and has an AVM(arterio-venous malformation) which is a collection of blood vessels in the brain which can bleed and swell and cause lots of problems. It may mean no more football for him. Hate to see that for any player no matter what team.

UP: It's Friday. Finally. And although I still have a lot to do including errands to run on my lunch hour today, I am excited with anticipation. I read recently that the boost in happiness one gets from a vacation is mostly from the anticipation of the vacation and not from the actual vacation itself. (that got my inner Eeyore going as well) So for now I'll enjoy it all. Still have to finish packing. Go to the bank. Pool store. Print the hotel confirmations. Blah blah blah. PLUS finish all my work before I go. No one likes a doctor that leaves patients hanging. (Now that just doesn't sound right. Ha ha) I'll be trying to post if I can, but I'm not sure of our internet situation. Until you hear from me again, keep going and posting, I'll be reading I'm sure. Stay on track, one day, one minute, one choice at a time! We can do this! Achieving our healthy goals is within our grasp!

Too Damn Hot and Tracking is KEY!

2011-08-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

I am having a whilrwind of a week. I have so much to do before I can be off on my vacation next week. I sat in front of the computer for a while yesterday trying to come up with something to post and didn't post anything because I just couldn't. There are days I just don't have much to say. I have a lot on my mind, but it just won't budge out of there.

I was thinking about why last month was so unsuccessful with weight loss and I was getting really frustrated. I have a tendency to place blame everywhere but where it belongs. Truth is when I went back and looked I realized that there were many days I didn't track all my food. Now I know I wasn't out of control with my eating, but tracking makes a huge difference. When I went back and looked at July a year ago I tracked every single day. A week of that was on vacation. I lost about 7 pounds that month even with vacation.

This year in July I exercised way more, but tracked my food way less. I burned over 13,000cal this month with exercise. That should equal loss. I have to conclude that I've been eating more than I thought. Of course I had the steroid thing and my thyroid issue, but none of that excuses the fact that I haven't been tracking with the same dedication I had in the past.

So I am rededicating myself to tracking every bite, every morsel, good or bad, this month. We are 3 days in and I have done well with this. I am eating right and still exercising. I have a challenge ahead with vacation next week, but I will be tracking. I know I can do this on vacation as I have done it before. I am going to try to ignore the scale as it is frustrating me. If I focus on tracking, eating right and exercise, the scale has to respond, right? So that's my plan.

In June we did the June Boom challenge to exercise every day. I'm going to try to keep that going again this month, but I'm adding to that the challenge of tracking every bite, snack, pinch, and nibble for the next month. Do you track your food? Do you measure or eyeball it? I generally measure although sometimes I can eyeball pretty well. This month, it's back to basics on measuring and tracking for me. I even weighed the nuts I had for snack yesterday, 1 ounce exactly!

I am so super sore today. My back is hurting from the massive core workout my trainer put me through on Monday. We did sit ups, push ups, planks, squats, jumping and a bunch more I can't remember. Sheesh. It was again a tiring and challenging workout. I'm so impressed with myself every time. I can't believe the things I can do now. In addition to training I did 40 min on the elliptical, cardio intervals. I can get up to level 24 now, at least for a few minutes.

Yesterday I went to TKD class. It's the last week before testing so the classes are busy and hard in order to review material for the test. I struggled a bit yesterday as I was tired from not sleeping well the night before AND sore from the workout on Monday. Plus, they were resurfacing the floor in the gym so there were fumes that really got my asthma going. I took it slow and had to rest a time or two when I generally wouldn't, but I made it through class. I feel like I'm ready for Saturday. I'll be attending class twice more this week as well.

So today, I decided to rest and not workout, other than scrubbing the pool and packing/housework tonight. I need to let my soreness improve because I need my strength for the test on Saturday. Our belt tests are about 3-3.5 hours long and they are spent moving the whole time. We have to demonstrate many skills-kicks, kicking drills, forms, breaking holds, one-steps, breaking boards and sparring. I want to be ready, but the last thing I need is to go into the test exhausted and sore. PLUS we're leaving Saturday evening after the test.

Food this week so far has been great. Monday I had 1400 calories. I ended up with an extra snack in the afternoon because I was STARVED after the hard workout. I burned 1384 calories in exercise that day. Yesterday I had 1187 calories and burned 1197 with exercise. For dinner I had some yummy frozen tilapia, parmesan crusted. It's 230 calories for 4 ounces and man it's good. Cooks in 15minutes and we get it at Sam's. We also had some new melon, a lemon drop melon which is a cantaloupe with a lemon flavor. It's pretty good and light for summer. Tastes like you took lemon and squeezed it over cantaloupe. Try it for a change of pace! We got ours at Sam's.

The rest of today will be spent with errands at lunch to prepare for the trip. Considering this heat from hell, 110 yesterday our 32nd straight day over 100, just getting out of the car ought to count for a workout. It is super hot and super dangerous. This evening I will be packing or at least starting to pack. I hate packing. Sigh. BUT, on the bright side, I love vacations!

So are you faithful with tracking your food intake? Does it make a difference in your efforts with weight loss? If you are maintaining, do you still have to track your food? Do you still measure?

Ready or not here it comes!

2011-08-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

Another Monday! And I can't believe it is already August. So exciting and this will be a very busy month for me. In a few days we'll be headed out for a family vacation. Looking forward just to get out of town for a few days. We are traveling as usual with my BFF and her 2 kids. Long road trip again this year, but always a ton of fun. I love the family road trip as it is a great way to spend time together as a family. So traveling with 5 kids 15, 13, 13, 6, 5 is always an adventure.

I'm feeling mildly nervous as I always have some amount of aprehension with travel. I know it's posisble to travel and not gain weight, even lose, if you're very careful. Again we'll have a very active trip planned so that will help. It's amazing the kids of things we enjoy doing (at least I do) compared to a year ago. This year we were looking for somewhere different to trek and easy on the budget so we'll be driving up to South Dakota: Black Hills, Mount Rushmore, Badlands and then to Omaha to visit the in-laws. The Omaha Zoo is top notch and I'm looking forward to that as we haven't been there in many years.

We lived in Omaha for 3 years while I did my residency at Creighton University. We like the town and the people, but the winters were for shit, so we high tailed it back south as soon as we could. PLUS this way we're closer to OU home games! Anyway, we'll be visiting all the neato things to do in Omaha, and there are a few. There's the zoo and a couple of good museums there the kids should enjoy. The SAC museum is great with lots of aircraft and there is a train museum with old trains the kids can explore.

We've never been to Mount Rushmore and that area I am really looking forward to it. I love seeing new places and anywhere the kids can climb on rocks and dig in dirt they will be happy. It will be a super long drive, but that's OK. Soon our older kids will be too busy and way to cool to vacay with mom and dad or Aunt and Uncle so we will relish all of it. Yes, even the: Stop touching your sister, stop making that noise and NO we're not there yet parts.

This week I'll start packing. Packing for a family of 5 to travel is always a bummer, but it's better now that we don't have the baby gear any more. Much more simple. We've rented a big SUV so we won't have to take 2 cars this year. Next vehicle I buy will be an 8 seater something so we can avoid this. The down side is that all riding together means we have to be conservative on the packing. The technology has helped so much in keeping kids busy in the car. SOOOO much better than when I was a kid. Between movies and iphones and gameboys and such, there really is no reason for kids to get bored. Of course they DO so I've got some new coloring books and movies in waiting.

The big news this week is also that I'm testing for my blue belt in TKD on Saturday. SO excited as I realized this morning that after Saturday, I'll be 1/2 way to black! My son will be testing for his red-black which is one belt from black. I'm so proud of him as he has worked so hard learning all the TONS of material. I'm excited and nervous. I know all the material. I'm still perfecting a few of the new kicks. I just have to remember to slow down and use good technique. I'm kind of nervous about the sparring, but that's just mainly because of my breathing issues. I'm not scared, but It is rigorous cardio!

The weekend went well with my food. I ate a little above my usual budget, but not terrible, 1500 calories on Saturday. I did a lot of housework and yard work. Saturday I weighed in down another pound and now I am almost back to my pre-steroid weight. I have a meeting with my trainer today and I'm going to try to find time to get in a few extra TKD classes to review before the test. So a busy busy week ahead for me. Hope you all had a good weekend, I'm working to catch up on my reading and commenting. I just do not have time on the weekends! Anyhoo...have a great and healthy day!

The great Barbie Binge and Two a Days!

2011-07-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

This morning I finally managed to get myself out of bed at a decent time On my way to the bike, I walked through the game room and saw this. It made me chuckle.

My first thought was, "How cute the girls have been playing Barbie." Then I thought, "No WONDER we all have unrealistic expectations!" Even if we ignore the debate on the effect Barbie has on body image, look at what she's eating!

A whole turkey, nachos or a strange pizza?, cereal and milk, a two layer cake, 2 tortes and a huge banana split. At least there is a little salad as well. And I'm not sure, but I think they've already eaten an entire dozen
muffins or cupcakes. I'm pretty sure nobody that looks like Barbie would eat like this, even on a holiday. Unless of course she plans on purging after. Silly I know, but it did make me think about mixed messages our children must be getting about food.

So I rode my stationary bike on a medium difficulty program. It felt really good to get a workout in to start my day. My legs were working hard and they were still a little sore from the elliptical yesterday. Yesterday I hit the gym at lunch. I did 40 min on the elliptical. I am able to do up to level 22 now! Pretty proud about that. Of course I can't do the whole workout there. I do intervals of high resistance and low resistance with sprints. I burned about 600 cal yest. My trainer had the nerve to come up to me and tell me I had to do it all backwards when I was done. HA! I laughed in his face. But, then I did do some weight lifting and core work. Sit ups with the 20 lb medicine ball has my abs aching today.

In TKD class today, we are getting close to the next test so we're doing lots of review and working through material. That of course means lots of extra kicking. My hips are going to be super sore tomorrow. I'm still learning that turning crescent kick and it requires a lot of stretch in the hips. The 100 crunches we did also didn't help my ab issue! The instructor thinks I'm going to be ready for the test, so blue belt here I come! Still have another week to prepare so I'm trying to squeeze in a few extra classes between now and then.

Food has been pretty good so far this week. Yesterday I had a shake for breakfast and a high fiber oatmeal muffin for breakfast (these are made with yogurt instead of oil and are about 110 cal a piece.) For lunch I had another shake and I had a yogurt with 1/8cup granola (yes I measured it. That stuff is calorie dense and tastes so good I have to be very careful.) And speaking of granola, someone sometime posted a recipe for homemade granola. I had a conversation with my Nanny yesterday that you can make your own. Whoever you are, if you're reading this or if you have a good recipe for granola, can you send me a link? Thanks!

For dinner, I had homemade beef stew with a salad on the side. I had some fresh cherries as a snack later in the evening. My calories were 1214.

Today I had yogurt with granola and one of my muffins with coffee (of course) for breakfast. For lunch I had this:

Half a cup of 1% cottage cheese topped with chipotle tabasco. I know it sounds weird, but it's very very tasty. On the side I had

Tomato slices and cucumber slices with a few carrots. The cucumbers are from my garden. The tomato is not. Our tomato plants have not been very productive at this new house. I'm wondering if it is the heat. See what a difference a small lunch sized plate makes? Looks like WAY more food that way. I had light ranch on the side. MEASURED carefully of course.

I just love these little cups from tupperware. They have marks to measure out one serving, 2 tablespoons, which is 70 calories. I just can't do fat free ranch. Tastes nasty. And the little cup has a lid for travel if needed.

I have no idea why I took so many pictures today. Just in the mood I guess. Tonight, I do not know what we're having for dinner. I'll figure it out when I get home in a bit. My hubbie is working late so it very well may be something a lot like lunch. I feel really good about my 2 a day workout today. I'm hoping to get the same in tomorrow. Who knows if the kids insist we may end up in the pool tonight. Or doing some TKD practice. My son plans to test for his red-black belt which is just one belt from black. He's working really hard on it.

And speaking of my son. Can I just say what a joy he is right now? He's 13 and there are of course "issues" with that age, but he is so funny and has such a great sense of humor we have some really cool conversations these days. And so far he's not above hanging out with his mom....yet. He's been in a summer conditioning class for football. (This IS Texas people.) He's so proud of himself because he's trimmed up this summer, loosing some of his belly and able to lift some significant weight. I just love seeing him proud of his fitness level. We talk more about that than the weight. I love to see him look forward to exercise and approach it with such a positive attitude. I SO SO SO wish I'd learned about exercise when I was his age. Well....it's never too late, right?

Did you work out when you were a teen? Or were you like me and did as little as possible, only when forced to in gym class? Did people in your family workout as you were growing up? I honestly can say I never remember exercise being a topic of conversation in my household. How do you encourage your kids to be active?

I am NOT a Sweetie!

2011-07-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

Lately there have been a few things on my mind. Now it's time to get them off my chest. A lot of these things have to do with doctor stuff.

1. I am NOT a sweetie! Last week I received a call from another physician to discuss a patient. At the conclusion of the call this male physician says, "OK. Thanks. Bye, sweetie." and hangs up. I sat there looking at the phone trying to decide if I heard what I THOUGHT I'd heard......yep....I did. Are you freaking kidding me? I did not spend 11 years in training and 12 years in private practice to be called sweetie! Then.....I thought maybe it was one of those oops moments that happens at the end of phone calls. I mean, I've dealt with this older male physician many times and he's been nothing but respectful. Have you ever ended a phone call with someone and said, "Bye. Love you." before you realized it was out of your mouth? I have. I said it once to a random telemarketer who called and was rambling on. I was hanging up fast and my standard "Bye. Love you," came out. I laughed at the time wondering what the look on that woman's face must have been. I'm giving this doc the benefit of the doubt and assuming his, "Bye sweetie, " was a similar mistake. But, if it happens again, all bets are off.

2. Family Medicine IS my specialty! So we are at that wedding from hell a couple of weeks ago and I'm talking to the wife of my husband's good friend. She asks if I'm still in practice. I said yes and it was going well. She asks, "So do you specialize in anything?" I answered that yes, my specialty is Family Medicine. So later she asks again if I have a specilaty. Sigh. Yes. It is Family Medicine. "Oh so like general practitioner?" Sigh. No. Being a General Practitioner in the old days meant that you finished medical school, did one year of internship and opened a practice. Back in the day you could do this and be able to do office AND surgery AND deliver babies. Scary, right? Well, not so much back then. There was a serious shortage of docs and most of these docs went to rural and under served areas.

These days, there are no GPs any more. We all have residencies. I spent 3 years after medical school learning how to be a Family Medicine Specialist. That means I can manage everything from runny noses to diabetes, congestive heart failure to poison ivy. I see all ages from newborns to grandmas and grandpas. I do women's health AND men's health. It's my job to do preventative care for all my patients and direct all their care. When specialists are involved it's my job to monitor what each specialist is doing and make sure that they are talking to each other and not prescribing meds that won't work together. Remember your heart doctor could care less about your vagina and your urologist doesn't care about your heart. I have to look out for ALL your parts. Think of me as your CEO of your health. That my friends IS something that takes SPECIAL skills.

3. Why do patients not take the medicine I recommend and then come in surprised when they are still sick? Sigh. And why do they just decide to adjust their medicines on their own? Sigh. I mean, I don't mind if a patient is uncomfortable taking a medicine or has questions. I'm not one of these paternalistic overbearing docs that says, "I'm the doctor. You must do what I say." I always ask if patients understand. I always ask if they are comfortable with the plan for managing their health problems. Why do they not just tell me instead of showing up for the follow up and say, "Well....I didn't think I really needed the medicine so I quit taking it." OR they have a side effect and instead of calling me so I can help them they just cut the med in half or take it every other day which, BTW, can sometimes make said side effects worse. Sigh.

4. Why do people have unrealistic expectations? So I saw this patient a while back who had been watching her diet (Yeah!) exercising (double yeah!) and lost weight (YES!). She is morbidly obese and I was very pleased. Over the last 6 weeks she'd lost 10-11pounds. Good weight loss. But she was upset and thought something was wrong. She thought it should have been more. I spent some time explaining that I was happy with that loss and that she was doing great. The last thing you want is her stopping her efforts because of unrealistic expectations. We went over her diet plan and exercise plan and I praised her for how well she was doing. I've been there and I know how easy it is to get thrown off course. I think it's very sad that sometimes we set ourselves up for failure without even realizing it.

5. What is my damn problem with getting up in the morning? I am having the worst time waking up lately. I'm just tired, tired, tired. Every day I go to bed I tell myself that tomorrow I'm getting up early to work out and every day I don't. WTH? I know school is coming and soon I won't have a choice. I've got to kick this habit of snoozing late. I know my thyroid issues and breathing issues are affecting it. Add to that my allergies. HEY! Maybe it's the Benedryl I've been taking? Dumb ass.......so stupid. no more of that crap.

6. Why do people think that because we've met and I'm a doctor they can ask me random health questions? There is one person in my life right now, really just someone I know through my kid's school who keeps calling and texting me questions. I'm not their doctor. Sigh. I don't want to be rude, but I don't think it's right either. I've tried not calling back, delayed responses. You'd think they'd get the hint. Next time maybe I'll give the standard, "You'd should probably talk to your doctor about it."

7. Football is back! And now the mad compacted free agency thing is making me crazy trying to keep up with all the signings and trades and such. AHHH! Don't get me wrong I'm excited and I loves my football. I'm so excited. But, it's wearing me out with my phone's ESPN alerts every 5 min. On the bright side, it's more fun than work. Only15 days until the first pre-season game for the Boys. Yippee! And McNabb to Vikes? What about that Michelle? Say bye bye to Hasselback, Alan. What do you think about him to Titans? Looking forward to what happens with Plaxico and what about Tiki? Will they get another chance? The drama, the excitement! It's awesome. And my Sooners first game is only 38 days away. Not that I'm counting, ha ha.

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So yesterday TKD class was really hard. We did free sparring for 1minute. That doesn't sound like very hard, but take it from me, one minute is a long time. When you are kicking and punching continuously and constantly moving, it is hard. We did that and practice sparring several times. We are just a little over a week out from the next test so we're gearing up for that. We have to spar on the test for 2-3 times 1 min each. In addition to all the other skills and breaking the boards. I realized yesterday that I am probably going to have to go back on steroids to make it through the test. I'm not happy about it, but I don't think I'll do as well if I don't. My breathing has just gotten worse. Dang it. So now I find myself wondering when I can get the surgery done.

Last night after I got home, the girls wanted to roller skate. So After dinner I took each one for a walk on skates we went down the block and back. I spent most of the time holding one or the other up trying to teach them how to balance. Needless to say my arms were a bit sore this morning. It was hot even at 8pm! And I was so sweaty. So I'm counting that as my second workout yesterday.

Food was good yesterday. I had a shake for breakfast, small yogurt for snack. At lunch I had tuna and some veggies. At dinner I had grilled chicken with peas and carrots and a small salad on the side. I had a sugar free jello for snack and a Popsicle for snack after our roller skating adventure. My calories were 1156. I drank a lot of water, at least 128 oz.

Today I had planned to go to the gym at lunch, but on the way to work I got a warning light in my car about tire pressure, so now I'm off to make sure I don't have a slow leak. If I have time, I'll try to workout. If not, the day is still young and I'll do something tonight. No excuses, my friends. I'm trying to stick to the routine I set in motion during Alan's June Boom. My goal is to workout everyday, somehow. Hope you all have a productive day. And thanks for the veggie suggestions yesterday. I plan on trying them out.

What a weekend! And Lots of pics and....call for recipes.

2011-07-26T09:18:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful weekend away I had! We left town Friday at noon and arrived in Huntsville in time to eat BBQ at a very famous hole in the wall place there. This place has been on the Food Network and Travel channel multiple times. We have tried to stop here several times in the past, but it's only open Thursday, Friday and Saturday from 11-6pm. It's actually next door to a church and run by the members there. It's called New Zion Baptist Church BBQ. We got there just in time before they closed. I had one rib. It was the best I've ever had. It is NOT fine dining, but it was super yummy.

We arrived in Galveston just in time for sunset. We checked in to the hotel and then headed right out to the beach for a walk.

This picture is a NSV for me. I've never been brave enough to go out in sleeveless tops. But, it was hot and humid and although I don't care for how my arms look, I didn't think I looked terrible. The water felt great!
Saturday morning we got up early and hit the beach. We went for walks, swam, and spent time reading under the shade of our umbrella. It was a great day. I was even brave enough to take a picture in my swimsuit.

It was very hard for me to post this. When I looked at these pics yesterday I realized (again) how far I still am from where I want to be. And you're right Allan, I need to step it up again. That's already in the works, back to basics on the plan this week and lots of exercise. I've come a long way, but I cannot take my eye off my goals. I have gotten distracted from the goal of losing weight at times by emotional turmoil when I lost my cousin, health issues and my exercise goals. But, the ultimate goal is to get this weight off and that needs to be priority. I'm proud of what I've done, but I'm clearly not done!

I tried to find a pic to compare, but no surprise, finding one of me in a suit was hard. I'm very good at avoiding the camera. Here's the two I did find.

I spent some time picking up shells. It struck me how each one is so different, but they are essentially the same in so many ways. Each one is pretty in it's own way. Not unlike us as people.

Saturday night we went out to our favorite restaurant on the island, Gaido's. I had grilled shrimp and red snapper. It was wonderful. They also serve it with tomatoes grilled with Parmesan cheese, such a wonderful tasty and light side dish!

I didn't eat the rice or the sauce. It didn't need it. Just a little fresh lemon squeezed on is all.

Me being silly at dinner. Like my new beach hat?

After dinner we drove out to the end of the island near where the big ships pass through and took some pics of sunset.

Again, some silly pics. Another outfit I never would have worn before. It's a light summer dress and comfortable in the heat. I got it for a bargain of $12 AND it's a size 14.

Yesterday it was back to work. I headed in with a great attitude for a Monday. It's amazing what a little time away will do for your outlook. I weighed in and I was the same as last week. I find that a decent achievement for a trip. This morning I'm down a pound and I'm dedicated to get that scale to budge and get back off that steroid gain I had from 2 weeks ago.

The office was chaos yesterday. Really crazy with lots of complicated problems. Patients showing up with what seemed like simple issues, but turning out to be complex ones. Hate that. So my lunch time workout got scrubbed for work. Last night I went home and swam laps for 40 minutes. Felt good and it was hard with my breathing issues. But, a good workout nonetheless. I had to give up and use the kick board for part of it so I could breathe. I woke up this morning and I was actually a little sore. My calories yesterday were 1008. I was hungry last night. I really wanted to snack late, but instead I ate a sugar free jello and drank more water. Gotta remember that will power is really just a simple choice.

Today I've had my breakfast shake and coffee and tons of water. TKD class in the works for noon. I'm hoping that between being off the steroids, back on track with the diet, exercise and back on lots of water, I can get the scale to head back down. Plus, I'm back on the thyroid meds so hopefully that issue will be straightened out. At least my energy level is starting to improve back on the meds.

I need some new suggestions for veggies. Any new ideas? I'm just getting bored with my veggies. I love them lots, but I'd like some new ideas. I'm really trying to include more of them. Give me some new ideas. I'll be reading and commenting as usual today. Can't wait to see what all of you are up to. You guys really help keep me going! Have a great day!

Saved by the Nana!!!

2011-07-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

Weekend is finally here and boy am I glad. It seems like I've been nothing but busy this summer with something to do nearly every day and no time to myself. Enter SUPER NANAs. That's right ladies and gentlemen, my mom and god-mom are taking the kids for the weekend. Two nights with the hubbie no kids and I'm very happy. I know for those of you who don't have kids or whose kids are very young you might not get it. But, as a mom of 3 kids, 13, 6, and 5, a few days away is not just fun it is a necessity. Especially now late in the summer when the sibling arguments have hit their peak.

Today after I finish the morning at work, my hubs and I are headed south to Galveston. We are going to take a couple of days and lay on the beach, listen to the surf and relax. Shoulda seen the kids faces when they figured out we were going to the beach without them! HA HA HA! This trip I'll only be building sand castles IF I want to. And if I want to nap under the umbrella all afternoon or quietly read my book while sipping a cool drink, then by gosh that's what I'll do!!!

Yesterday wound up a good day for the diet. I think I should have had a little more water because I woke up thirsty. This heat is a TRIP. A trip to hell, but a trip nonetheless. I've had a lot of trouble breathing the last few days. Between the heat, ozone alerts and high pollen counts, the blockage in my airway has been an issue. Plus I'm off the steroids. Down 2 pounds, still up from before, but getting closer to where I was. I REALLY don't want back on them, but I do enjoy breathing.

I struggled a bit to get through TKD yesterday, but I did it. Not as easily as usual. But, I enjoyed it as we are beginning to perfect the material for the upcoming test. My abs are SORE! From all the crunches and planks and such I did this week. This morning I woke up to sore hips from the crescent kicks I've been learning. So no working out today. I've had 4 days straight of hard workouts. Today I'll rest. Tomorrow morning a walk/jog on the beach. Smile.

I plan to have plenty of fresh seafood from the gulf this weekend. I love gulf shrimp. So healthy eating should not be a problem. I have packed healthy snacks and our options for eating out are greatly broadened without the kiddies in tow. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than life itself, but a day or two away helps keep Mommy refreshed and able to be a good Mommy.

I don't know how much I'll be online this weekend. We'll see. But, if you don't hear from me, I'll be back here on Monday reading and commenting as usual. And....Stacia....I see a new swimsuit pic in my future. Finally. And while we're discussing that subject...everybody take some pics. I know those of you starting out don't like taking your pic, but down the road you'll be so glad you have pics to compare. If you dare, send swimsuit pics to Stacia over at Swimming it Off.

And all you out there, please comment. Not just on my blog but on anybody's and everybody's you can. I try to comment on at least 4-5 each day. It doesn't take long and those comments mean so much to your fellow bloggers. Even if it is a few words, they might be just what is needed to keep someone struggling on track or encourage someone to keep going. So please....more comments!